A lanky creature, the starlight painting her silver and sharp—all stark edges. The February night was cool and crisp, the moon elsewhere. Perhaps it hid on the other side of the world, or perhaps, it was all in shadow; she didn't know, and did not care. It was just her and the frozen lake and the multitude of stars, distant, cold, and careless.
How long had she been back now? Months? Too long something in her roared, but she paid it no mind.
Filth.
Months and nothing. She nibbled on the caches whenever her hunting skills failed her, but added little to them; she drifted along the borders, a stray cloud, and about as social as a bank of fog. She did her best to be a constant scent, yet avoided everyone—always there, never seen. She wandered the mountain, kept odd hours. She smelled of the Cove, but not of its wolves.
Time to change? Or time to run? Oh, she had been tempted, and perhaps, she had tested Kajika's trust in her a time or two—stayed away so long her scent almost faded, only to return, still silent, still not interacting, but letting her scent sink into the earth and snow. An apology, perhaps, or shame.
Useless. It roiled in her blood, sometimes a slow poison, at other times a raging wildfire. Filthfilthfilthfilth—
She stood upon the lake's thick ice, somewhere in the no man's land between "far out" and "only sort of far out". There was no risk in it, anyway—the thick crust wouldn't melt for at least another month. Her claws clicked on the hard surface as she turned, walked a few steps off. Dead weight.
All the better to sink with, dear. Her lips curled back in a sneer. There was no drowning at this time of year. There was no relief, no release, only wastelands and pent-up frustrations. So she stood there, out on the lake, the wind ruffling her starlit fur and cooling her heart. For perhaps the first time, she knew exactly what to do.