Secret Falls [S]In your eyes I see something to believe in [BWP]

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It had been a long time since his paws had last ached. He didn't know what was causing them to act out, but they hurt.  Was it the stress? The worlds way of kicking him when he was already down? Maybe. His ears were flattened against his skull as he limped along, slow and pained. It was as though all the life had been drained from him, that he was a dying old man, instead of young and in his prime.

Elias puffed out a sigh, perhaps he was being overdramatic, wallowing in self-pity. Sure, he was in pain but was it that bad? Yeah, yeah it was.

Elias knew he had to a lot to be grateful for, that he had a life many wished they could lead and yet, that didn't make his past any easier to swallow. Maybe this was the worlds way of reminding him of his sins... At times he couldn't believe what he had done, that he'd abadoned Thuban. It hadn't even been that difficult, sure he'd worried and fussed for a while, but in no time at all he'd moved on. And what of Raina, of the other Selwyns? He had promised he would return with his friend in tow, instead he had emersed himself so deeply into this land he couldn't ever dream of leaving.

Elias wasn't at all paying attention to where he was going, his achy bird-paw caught on a root and he fell to the ground, hard. The wind was knocked right out of him and for a long, painful, moment he laid there sore and wheezing as tears pricked at his eyes. What a mess.

He dragged his gaze up from the ground and-his breath caught in his throat. Towering above him he was met with the sight of two bright yellow eyes.

(This post was last modified: Jul 28, 2018, 06:33 PM by Elias.)

Askan couldn't believe his eyes, he didn't want to.

Of all of the Selwyns who could have surivived it had to be him, didn't it? Askan gritted his teeth as he stared down at his cousin, more than a little tempted to spit in his face. It wasn't that Elias wasn't a proper Selwyn, honestly Askan didn't give two shits about that, it was far more personal. If it hadn't been for Elias Askan would have never left his homeland and everything would have been- Askan dragged in a steadying breath.

He didn't like Elias, he would never like him, but he had very little interest in beating him when he was down.

"Get up." He ordered, none too kindly.

The behemoth struggled to his feet and once again Askan was reminded of how much Elias had stood out amongst all the other Selwyns. They had always been so uniform, dark coats with yellow eyes, as though they were all cut from the same cloth. Rather than feel restricted, like they were all just a cog in a machine, it had given Askan a sense of belonging. But Elias? He had always tried too hard, annoying fucker that he was. Maybe he had changed, though Askan wasn't going to hold his breath.

It was then Askan noticed his paws. His expression twisted into disgust at the mangy excuse of a front paw. The fuck had happened? But perhaps more importantly why the hell was he here?

 

"Askan I-" Elias was quick to do as he was told. He clamped his mouth shut, knowing full well that if he spoke he would only annoy his cousin further.

There were so many things he wanted to say, it had been so long, yet he didn't know where to start. Was this where he had wandered off to? Had he been in Relic Lore all along? And most importantly...did he know what happened?

If he didn't then...Elias shuddered at the prospect of telling him. That was not a conversation he wanted to have, ever. Of course, Askan needed to know but...Why couldn't this be a happy moment? Why couldn't they could anew, and maybe even be friends this time? That's all Elias wanted, for his family to love him.

"It's really good to see you." He admitted, his voice breathy. He limped forward, his neck extended to pull Askan into an embrace- only for his cousin to jerk away, repulsed. "Oh." That had been stupid. "Sorry."

And now he'd ruined it, he'd made things awkward, hadn't he?

"Ha ha." God he wanted to die. Anyway... "So this is where you went? I tried looking for you...We all thought you'd come back after a day or two."He laughed, had he hands he would have awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

But oh no, he couldn't stop there could he? Now he'd started rambling he found that he couldn't stop, even when he noticed Askan's jaw twitching he just kept on going. Digging his hole even deeper.

"But it's okay now, right? I'm in Vigils Keep, it's not far. We can catch up and start over." Maybe it was a good thing Nin had chosen the lake, a blessing in disguise. "I'm just...I hope we can be brothers again."

Askan tbh

Aside from a select few, Askan wasn't really the touchy-feely type. Even if they had been acquaintances Askan would have rejected him, but the fact that it was Elias just added salt into the wound. To Askan's credit he didn't snarl or bare his teeth, he simply glowered so fierce his muscles ached from the strain. Who the fuck did he think he was? After everything that had happened did he really think everything was hunky dory between them? Fuck off. Surely Elias wasn't as stupid as he looked, how would he be so naive?

Apparently he was. Despite the numerous signals Askan was sending his way he just kept talking and talking. With his ears flattened against his skull most of it was drowned out, but a few words touched base and made Askan all the more bitter. Why the fuck did Elias always have to make everything about him? Worse yet, he went right for the juglar- as if things could ever be good between them.

Askan drew the line at that, he'd had enough of his bullshit.

"Shut the fuck up!" He snapped, his teeth clicking on empty air. Elias flinched but Askan didn't give a shit, not anymore. "And stay the fuck away from me. I'm not your brother, never have been."

Askan had no idea where his strange fixation had come from but he was putting an end to it. If he thought they could play happy families, well he'd come to the wrong wolf for that. Even if Elias hadn't screwed Askan over things wouldn't have changed much. Askan had never really liked the blond, this was just the final nail in the coffin. All of this, it hurt. So of course Askan was lashing out, Elias truly should have known better.

(This post was last modified: Jul 19, 2018, 06:02 PM by Askan.)

She trailed after the Edge's lead with ease. Truth be told, she didn't really care if he knew she was there or not. Hawthorne was pretty sure that the whole travel in pairs thing hadn't been lifted yet. Like hell she was gonna let Askan get away with that. He might have been strong but the coyotes were forming gangs and she wouldn't admit it but she'd probably never forgive herself if something happened to him.

A shake of her head was given to brush the thought away. Nah, she wasn't getting soft. That was ridiculous.

What she didn't expect was a slightly familiar scent to mingle with her superior's. Her peppered features crinkled sharply. She was far enough away to miss their first few exchanges. But what she did manage to hear was alarming and so she crashed onto the scene. Lip even pulled back in defensive of the older Selwyn.

The hell are ya talking about? You hit your damn head? She snapped at the blond wolf with a narrowed orange gaze. Piss off back to your lake. The Selwyn yearling spat with venom. Maybe it wasn't Hawthorne's place to speak out but like hell if she was gonna let blondie piss off one of her dad's and get away with it.

"I-" This was all going downhill and Elias didn't know how to slam on the breaks.

He had only wanted to make amends, to cherish what little family, but he'd ruined everything. Why why why? His words had been awfully presumptuous, what had he even been thinking? Clearly he hadn't.  As much as he wished he could he couldn't snatch them out of the air and shove them out of sight, out of mind. He had to say something, fix this before it was too late.

He scrambled to form a response, to put together words that would convey how sorry he was, that he hadn't meant to offend, but before he could even think of anything a new face arrived on the scene. For a moment Elias stared, dumbfounded, and then he recognised her. She was the suspicious girl he'd met by the lake.

Heck.

His ears swept back against his skull as he took a limpy step backwards. Elias wasn't looking for confrontation, not in any sense of the word.

"It's not like that...I'm sorry Askan, you're right, that was dumb." He folded himself down onto the floor so that his stomach pressed to the floor, just so that Askan could tower over him for once. "I just...I'm sorry, please don't be mad. Let me try and make it up to you, please."

(This post was last modified: Jul 19, 2018, 09:49 PM by Elias.)

It was too late for that, Askan was already mad. Maybe if Elias owned up to what he did, stopped pretending he was a saint, that he could do no wrong maybe things could be different. But no, he had no idea did he? How could he be so blind? His pleas landed on deaf ears, Askan had no interest in listening to his inane warbling.

"You have no fucking clue do you?"

Askan had no desire to air his dirty laundry, nor was he the sort to talk about his feelings but he figured he'd made it pretty clear how he felt. So either Elias was as clueless as he looked or he was playing dumb. It was near impossible to figure out what was going on behind those bland blue eyes.

"You think I wanna play happy family with you? After-" He gave a pained hiss. Even now it hurt, it would never stop hurting. He hadn't been allowed to grieve, instead, he'd been expected to just get over it.

Kaela's body was still warm when Elias came to live with the Selwyns, like he was supposed to replace her. As if he ever could. The other's had been willing to play along, to turn a blind eye, but not Askan. Not then and certainly not now. Just looking at Elias made Askan feel sick, like he was somehow disrespecting his sister's memory by breathing the same air as him.

And if that wasn't bad enough...

"You're a liar, you know. Said you looked for me, that you worried. Bullshit! I saw you with Dad, all fucking chummy." His voice was hoarse now, as though Savion was pressing down on his throat. What little composure he had left was fading, this conversation needed to end. "You were so fucking eager to take my place, you didn't even stop to think how that made me-" He snapped his jaws shut. No more. He'd said enough.

Askan took in a long steadying breath. His gaze wandered to Hawthorne who stood resolutely by his side. She was good wasn't she?

"Make sure he leaves Hawth." He instructed as he turned to leave, his voice granite hard.

(This post was last modified: Jul 20, 2018, 06:42 PM by Askan.)

This was something else. Every other time she had felt like an outsider did not compare to now. Happy family? Exactly what the fuck was going on? Her hackles bristled at the pained hiss of Askan. If there was anyone Hawthorne was willing to stick her neck out for it was the leaders of Shallows Edge. Elias had picked the wrong wolves to mess with. The Edge was a knife-wielding crew and Hawthorne just happened to go a little extra with her wielding. If she had attacked a stranger for fun she would only do worse to someone who was an actual threat.

A snarl bubbled up in her throat as her tail stiffened behind her peppered form. The order was met with a flick of her ear, she heard him but she was keen on blondie instead of talking. She lunged forward ever so slightly to clack her teeth at the air near Elias. Hawthorne had no interest in talking this out. If he didn't heed her warning then the Edge would have a new pelt for their den.

Four coyotes appear from the shadows, posturing aggressively.

Elias had no idea.

Everything seemed so unreal. No matter how many times he went over it in his head the pieces wouldn't slot together. How could he have been so blind? He'd put so much time and effort into trying to make the others like him, when in reality all he had done was push them further and further away. Elias had spent so many nights wondering why he couldn't fit in, but now he knew- he realised that he'd screwed up really really bad. It was all over, he'd ruined everything.

Elias could never ever blame Askan. It was true...he had been pretty mean at times, had used Elias as his punchbag, but he deserved it didn't he? It had never been his intentions to hurt Askan, to try and replace his sister but...he supposed that's exactly what he did. That he sensed something was wrong and did his best to shove himself into the hole that remained. All he'd wanted was to belong, to have a family and look at what he'd done...

Tears pricked at his eyes as he swallowed thickly. It was almost too much to bare. Family was all that mattered, that's what Terell had once told him. Would his uncle be mad, would he hate him too? Probably. Maybe it was best he hadn't returned home, maybe everyone was relieved he'd vanished.

Shakily, Elias opened his mouth to say something, anything that would lessen the hurt but there was nothing. The damage was done, Askan hated him. The yearling was quick to do her leaders bidding, and even lunged at the empty air. He didn't want to leave, there was so much he needed to say and do but...Was now the best time? Even Elias had the sense to realise that things were going downhill fast.

And if that wasn't enough coyotes decided to butt in too. Attracted by the noise they slunk ever closer, teeth bared and ears perked forward.

Like a fool, Elias couldn't stop himself. He had to try , even if Askan didn't want to hear him out he needed to say something.

"Askan pppp- please." His tears were falling in earnest now. He was pathetic. " I never- I didn't mean- I wasn't trying to replace anyone! I was just doing as I was told, your Father said-"