Vigils Keep Tiptoeing on the edge

For @Nineva. Set immediately after the pack hunt.

Her plan had not gone as she had hoped. But it was carried out and over with. That out of the way, Neha had other business to attend to. With a distinct sense of purpose in her step, she strode through the heart of the Keep, with a particular destination and wolf in mind. Nineva, who would be resting by the communal den. Neha respected her choice to sit out the hunt. After all, she was still sick and would have been more a hindrance than a help. Even those that chose to follow the lead of their true matriarch, she pitted nothing against them. Still, a familiar bitterness churned in her stomach, like bile rising up in her throat. Neha knew this feeling all too well.

Her mindset would not so easily be swayed. Yes, they did venture dangerously close to Driftwood, but she had taken care not to overstep the line. The pack needed to hunt, to store fresh meat for the colder months ahead. And, if that meant running the risk of trouble, then Neha was willing to take it. But she would never blatantly poke the sleeping bear with a stick. Arriving outside the front entrance to the cavernous den, she could smell Nineva inside. She cleared her throat. "Nineva...a moment of your time?" Her tone was non-demanding, but still had something of an Egde. She was not here for an augment, or out of insolence. Neha had an opinion to state and she was going to make it known. Sitting down outside, she waited for her audience.

Not even the most finely-tuned and intricately made instrument could measure the dethroned matriarch's mood, much gauge her thoughts as she rested with the fall-chilled air near the mouth of the cavernous den. Her eyes were hardened, lacking in their natural inquisitive luster that had, at the beginning of it all, been so common among her features. She was stone, through and through, without warmth and without empathy.

That steeled gaze had been set upon nearly nothing when Neha's voice called out to the Hervok, and they slid with little more life when her attention was drawn to the lake-born wolf's face. That she was now, awkwardly, the woman's alpha was the only reason that Nineva eventually pushed herself up onto her heavy paws and heeded the request. As much as she might have wished it, she could no longer retain the immense gratitude she owed the other woman for taking on such responsibility in her time of need.

It wasn't that Neha in particular had earned this; it was the cumulation of hundreds of disappointments, big and small, throughout her life. Nineva was losing the will to care about others outside of her ever-shrinking inner circle.

Wearing a subordinate's posture, she took her place before Neha, and silently awaited her words.

Neither of the females had wanted this, the reversing of the roles. But for the well being of the pack and Nineva's health, Neha stepped up. She would do her best while in this role. Though, doing her best never seemed to work out. It always came back to bite her in the rear end. She often wondered if she had tried too hard, or not hard enough. Of if, simply, it was one poor decision after another. Dwelling on that could wait, for Nineva had emerged, silent.

Faced by the wolf she in all certainty knew had a right to the Keep, looking at her now, for Neha, was like looking at a reflection. Cold, as if crafted out of fine marble. Disinterested in her surroundings, looking weary. That phase, the Vuesain had gotten over, transitioning into a much darker, rough image. She leveled her dark eyes with the mismatched, pale one's before her. "We need to talk." She began evenly, retaining her reclined posture, tail tip flicking.

Her dark lips pressed into a thin line as her chin tipped down. The weight of what she was about to express permeated the air, but no defiance shone in her eyes. "Let me first state that I respect your choice to have sat out the hunt." She let a pause hang in the air. "And, I don't hold it against the others either." Her jaw tightened. "I know it was against your orders. Of the consequences that may come. But..." Her muzzle crinkled in defiance and distaste towards Driftwood. "I did it for a reason." Neha knew Nineva would want her to elaborate, but she held back for a moment longer. She may have her own piece to say first, and that she would hear out.

Neha can often be found close to Aleister's side and therefore may appear in any of his threads.

Reasons. Those would be good to hear, because in all honesty, Nineva could not wrap her mind around what Neha could have possibly intended outside of provoking the Surge wolves. Even now, while she had always trusted the Vuesain to a certain measure, she wasn't sure if these reason could outweigh the damage that had likely been done.

Lachesis was a pompous ass, but he wasn't entirely stupid. The Surge would know what had been done.

Neha acknowledged that with her words though, and so Nineva would not waste anymore time by speaking prematurely. She nodded once, encouraging the other woman to continue. To make some kind of sense of what had happened today.

Thus far Neha had kept herself relatively composed, but as she approached the heart of the topic, she felt her control unwind. She felt strongly even when others couldn't see it, and when she expressed herself, it was with a passion. Even if, sometimes it unintentionally rubbed others the wrong way. "Besides the fact that we need as much as we can get at this time of year, I wanted to make a point." She maintained her firm voice. "I for one, am sick and tired of feeling like a prisoner, constrained by limits set by another pack." Her legs stiffened as she fought not to grit the words through her teeth. "We outnumber them, and I have not forgotten that they stoked the flames by trespassing on our land first."

Now, some emotion began to filter into her voice, none too gently. Not meant for Nineva, but towards the situation for the Keep as a whole. "Why should we just stand by and be pushed around?" She was aware that Driftwood had allies, that they were more experienced. But right now Neha didn't give a damn. Nineva had made the choice to settle the pack here. The Vuesain had no say, but should the subject arise, she had no qualms about pointing that out herself.

Neha can often be found close to Aleister's side and therefore may appear in any of his threads.

No, Nineva was not satisfied even a bit by the reasons that Neha quickly, and passionately, surmised. They were, in fact, more or less what she had feared. The Vuesain had acted purely on emotion and vengeful thinking. Nineva wasn't exactly opposed to the latter, but there always had to be a balance maintained. Rallying back against the Surge would incite more danger than it was worth; that was exactly why Nineva had chosen to overlook their bluster and continue on with her life.

"Those limits were set by myself before the Surge ever made an issue of itself," she corrected, voice far calmer than Neha's but not without its own edge. The decree might have been issued due to the Surge's proximity, but it had been out of a courtesy that Nineva had felt, and continued to feel, was only fair. It had not been out of fear, as Neha seemed to imply.

"Food is still more than plentiful on our usual grounds, especially with the coyotes gone. Instead of taking advantage of their absence, though, you had us step on our own tail. Made my terms inconsequential; worthless."

Made a liar of her, the worst that Nineva could think to be.

"They'll push back, but with both the Fields and the Edge with them. We'll lose our home, if not our lives. Would that really be worth it, just to stick your tongue back out at them? To match their petulance?"

Warning for swears.

She wanted to say more, to interject the moment Nineva began to speak. It was as plain as day on her face, in her eyes. Wisely, she held her tongue. Both out of respect for the monochrome female as her true superior. Her eyes averted slightly, showing that she knew her friend was right. Ever since she was young, Neha had a difficult time controlling her emotions. She never thought twice about expressing herself, of what words would roll off her tongue and how they might be interpreted. Finally after a breath, she found her voice. "It...it makes me paranoid, Nin. As if it would give Lach and his fuckin mongrels that they truly have the upper hand over us. Control. Which is exactly what they want." Oh how she hoped she would understand, relate to how powerless she sometimes felt.

She fell silent, allowing Nin to go on another justified speel, condemning Neha's course of action. She twisted her head to the right, wincing. Again...reminded of her errors. Saying nothing, she was still with closed eyes and flattened ears. "I acted on impulse...for the good of the pack. I was wrong...I own that." The subject of Driftwood striking back, taking action was enough to animate her again. This time she stood up sharply, eyes narrowed. Her muzzle crinkled, but her teeth remained behind a pair of black lips. Had she truly meant to pick a fight in this moment, she would've stepped close with bristling hackles. Nineva though, she respected too much to stoop to such a level. "No, of course not. But who was it who chose to settle so close to them?" Tactfully, she did not state it was herself. That would be like adding salt to the wound. "You knew, Nineva. You took a risk."

Neha can often be found close to Aleister's side and therefore may appear in any of his threads.

Paranoid. She could understand the feeling, knew Neha's anger well, for it was her own; but the blatant truth was, the Surge did have the upper hand. They needed only pull some strings, and they would have more than enough bodies to push the Keep wolves out. No matter their own strength and determination, the Vigil would not stand a chance. That was why control was so important, why they had to stay on the high road. Anything less would only hurry their own destruction. Remaining steadfast, holding onto their values, they stood a chance at proving to the rest of the East that they did not deserve the Surge's wrath. Right now, Lachesis only looked like a blathering bully. They didn't need to give him any credence.

Impulse, yes. For the good of the pack, Nineva was still not convinced, but at the least she was seeing life in Neha for the first time since their childhood together. While her claws tensed against the rocky earth, Nineva was otherwise unmoved as the Vuesain rose abruptly, a silent snarl rippling her muzzle. Neha took her own shot, but the Hervok would not be so easily cowed.

"A days travel has always been the marker. I could have been more cautious, yes, but I had no reason to expect these wolves would have an entirely different concept of what territory means. That they would try to control us from across a lake large enough to house islands within it."

Justifying herself almost riled her all over again at how absolutely ludicrous Lachesis had been with his expectations and demands. That was meant to be their enemy, if anyone, but instead there had been more unrest between themselves than anything. They hadn't heard anything of the Surge since that day, in fact.

"I asked you all if you were willing to make this your home with me. If you think it a cage, then you spoke falsely that day. Whatever you've made of your position, if violence comes to our door, you've now taken a share of the responsibility for it."

Without missing a beat, Neha countered Nineva's with some of her own. Pale brows rose, lips drawn into a frown. "That may be true, yes. But I would have taken measures a little differently. Approach our neighbors to be first, stating our intentions." She was not saying that they should allow another pack to dictate their course of action, but fair warning was better than none at all. Nor was she trying to rub the error in Nineva's decision in her face. "How much of a difference they would have made, I don't know. They are a greedy lot."

She breathed a frustrated sigh. "I spoke the truth. We could not predict Lachesis and his thugs would act as they did." She got up to pace, tail lashing at the air in agitation. "Can you honestly say you are content with the circumstances as they have been? I understand your point, but sometimes I need to express my frustration." Hardened brown eyes locked with those of her matriarch. "We will see if they truly throw a fit over one measly caribou. Like they did over a single deer." Her lips flashed a hint of white teeth. "Violence? Pah, do you think I don't know that already? I've lost too much to be afraid of a bully who is too unreasonable to settle a dispute without bloodshed." She fell quiet, fixing Nineva with a hard look that said what do you want me to do to fix this?

Neha can often be found close to Aleister's side and therefore may appear in any of his threads.

Content with the circumstances, did Neha really believe that to be Nineva's state? She wasn't content with anything in her life outside of her daughter, in fact she felt like she was right back where she'd been leaving the Hollow; ineffective, mired, powerless, tied down by the fucked attitudes and actions of others. Her eyes had drifted away from Neha's features, focused less on the real world as she fell into her thoughts. This transition affected more than her gaze; her muscles loosened and the thin line of her lips relaxed, tilting into the slightest of frowns. She looked older than her age, the sickness that was still resident within her body more evident.

Neha's last words were long faded by the time Nineva spoke up to reply.

"Perhaps the mistake was in thinking this is where I belong," she answered quietly.

"Maybe you're what the pack needs."

Because she couldn't do this anymore, not unless she wanted to rest in an early, and shallow, grave. Once she would have been okay with that, certain that an untimely death would be an honorable one. Now, it felt absolute that if she were to die, it would only be for the hubris and irrationality of others. Ellery deserved more than that from her mother. Nineva had more to give than that and if Neha was what the pack preferred, over Nineva's caution and reservation, her rigid moral code, then that would be what they deserved as well. To have a leader that could representative them truly.

Nineva took a step to the side, ready to turn and go back to the den.

"May I return to my daughter?"