Heartleaf Creek I don't believe in failure

Mid-morning, clear sky, 10.4F/-12C. @Viorel only please!

She had been a bit preoccupied with making sure Ana's leg healed nicely, but now that a couple days had passed and she could start walking around on her own again, Clover decided it was a good time to go looking for a good spot to stash her herbs in for when they officially banded together as a group. The ground was still too frozen to actually dig out a den-like hole, but she could at least scope out possible spots for the time being.

Her gaze scrutinized the undergrowth as she walked through the trees, looking for an area that was sufficiently covered from the elements, maybe even partially covered by an outcropping of dirt or rock. Even within the roots of a large tree would be a good spot, as long as the tree was not out in the open. She was not too fussed about finding the perfect spot, and did not want to claim a spot that would be better used as a pack or private den to sleep in. But she still wanted a spot that would protect her precious herbs from the wind, rain, and whatever else the world would throw at them.

And a circus ain't a love story

Viorel had been...distracted to say the least since the conversation he had had with Vayko. It just kept echoing through his mind that for the good of the pack he was going to have to become a dad. What did he know about being a dad? He didn’t even have one, his own father had been on a scouting mission and had never come back before he was born. Was he alive? Was he dead? Was he stuck somewhere and couldn’t get back or did he just not want to? None of these questions had ever bothered the Valle teen before, he had had more than enough family to help raise him, but now it was all he could think about.

The dark wolf had been pacing nervously near the fallen empress tree, brow furrowed low over his yellow eyes. Viorel thought that he had thought of everything about forming a pack, how could he have forgotten that come spring mkost packs expected pups? Shit, shit, shit. So deep in his own thoughts he almost completely missed the appearance and almost disappearance of Clover. It was the slight movement of the cream coloured wolf out of the corner of his eye that finally broke him out of his near frantic movement.

Chuffing to catch her attention he rushed to meet up with her, happy for some kind of distraction. ”What are you up to?” Please say absolutely anything that she could need help with, he needed to get out of his own head.

And now we're both sorry

Having been so preoccupied with her search, she did not notice Viorel was there until he chuffed at her, turning her head to find him rushing up to her quite hastily. She halted, a smile brightening her face as she wagged her tail. Worry had gnawed at her after the whole Ana debacle but it seemed Viorel was still glad to see her, and that thought filled her with a warmth that even the cold winter could not touch. "I'm looking for a place sheltered enough to store my herbs and medicinal supplies," she woofed back.

She glanced over his shoulder at the fallen empress tree, guessing that he had been scoping out den sites himself, or some other task like that. With all the snow it would be a little difficult to find a good spot for either a den or herb storage area, given that the ground was just about hard as rock, but maybe they would get lucky. Her gaze returned to Viorel, brows raising in a questioning manner. "Would you like to help me?" Two pairs of eyes would be better than one, and they would have the chance to talk about things. There were a couple topics she had wanted to bring up but never felt like the time was quite right.

And a circus ain't a love story

The Annaliese thing had been...interesting and Viorel was pleased to see that Clover did not appear to be angry with him for speaking harshly with her friend. He was not upset with the white wolf, who clearly had just been trying to be kind, it had been the loner who had been the issue. That and the two legs who had for some reason dropped her here and made her smell of the Estuary. Oh, the Estuary, it was just a small reminder of the conversation he had had with Sharlee, that they may never see their home again.

Nodding enthusiastically at her offer he fell in step beside Clover, ”I would love to help, but I’ll be honest, I don’t know the first thing about what makes a good medicine den.” They had had one back home, but Viorel had been lucky enough to never have to visit it and had never been interested enough to look inside. He would let the woman take the lead on this one, and hoped his company would be enough since he certainly lacked the expertise.

After a couple of minutes of walking the dark teen asked a question that was heavy on his mind, ”When we make the pack, are you going to miss your home?” Sure, their situations were a little different since the Valles had been abducted and Clover had chosen to leave, but that didn’t mean she didn’t suffer from homesickness. There was a lot going through his mind, missing the Estuary, plans for the future, the fact that Vayko had bestowed on him the responsibility of bringing pups to the pack. Sure, he could have talked to Sharlee who was his advisor, but he was beginning to think of Clover as his friend, and wanted her opinion on everything.

And now we're both sorry

She grinned widely at his agreement to help her, a soft laugh escaping her lips at his admission of not knowing what to look for. It was understandable that he did not know, the expectation of every wolf having knowledge about all the facets of medicine was a far-reaching one, but she was always happy to teach others if they wished to know more. "That's alright! The main thing is it needs to be dry, so just in case the creek floods I'm looking for a spot on higher ground, but it also needs to be sheltered from the wind and rain so somewhere among dense undergrowth is the next priority," she listed off, gaze already returned back to her immediate surroundings. It was a tall order, but keeping her stocks safe was very important to her, as she could not help others if her herbs became soggy or moldy.

After a few minutes Viorel broached a question that had her frowning slightly in remembrance of the family she left behind. Of course she missed home, she missed it every day, and it was like there was an empty hole inside her since the day she left that used to be filled by her family. But she had made up her mind, and was determined to find a new home with others so she could spread her family's knowledge and teachings, no matter how much her heart ached. She forced herself to smile, the expression not quite reaching her eyes, but there was a sort of bittersweet feeling about leaving her home. "I miss home every day, and my family too. But it was time for me to go out on my own, and I have the memories of everyone to remember them by."

Her gaze shifted to Viorel, features softening as she thought about how he had told her him and the others had been trying to get back home after they had seemingly gotten lost. "What about you?" She asked gently, unsure of what his reaction would be when she asked about it. "Are you planning on going back to your home once the snows melt?" Or are you going to stay here, with me? She finished internally, not quite ready to express that thought aloud just yet. Clover was growing accustomed to the company of him and the others, but she knew that if they decided to return home she would not follow, and knew deep down that she would miss them if they did leave.

And a circus ain't a love story

Clover’s laugh brought a grin to the teen’s face and he bumped her hips playfully with his own. It was nice to just a moment of lightheartedness, it seemed like almost everything since he had woken up had been so serious. Nodding at her words he summed up what he had understood, ”Okay...so we should probably go a little further from the backwater then? Where the trees are a little more dense?” That would make sense, it seemed the same kind of criteria as picking a pack den, somewhere it wouldn’t flood and had some protection from weather and prying eyes.

Viorel was watching the woman closely from the corner of his eye, trying to gauge her reaction to his question. It pained him to see the smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and he wished that he had just kept his mouth shut and not said anything at all. He understood her sentiment about missing home, he felt that way too, but he didn’t really have a choice in the matter, ”How did you know it was time to go on your own?” The teen thought he knew deep down that this was the best thing for him, that he would have left the Estuary come the spring anyways. But, he hadn’t expected to feel so sad for the loss of his home.

Meeting the dark amber gaze with his own pale yellow eyes Viorel blinked at her question, he didn’t think that Clover would have cared what his plans for the future were. Shaking his head he looked straight ahead of them, happy for the guise that he was looking for a good spot for the den. ”Originally when we got here I thought we would only be here until the thaw,” Viorel chanced a look sideways to try and read her expression. Then he continued, ”But now? Now I think if we can really get this pack started then I will stay, and I believe my cousins and brother will as well. We really want to make something here that is better than what we had before.”

And now we're both sorry

Clover nodded at his summation, changing her course of direction for further away from the backwater, searching for any small inclines in the terrain that were still protected by the trees and shrubbery which would bloom come spring time. "Yes, that sounds like a good idea to me." Viorel seemed to listen intently as she spoke, and she gave him a curious look at the question he posed, brows furrowing as she contemplated his words. It had not exactly been a singular moment where she decided to leave, as somehow deep in her bones she always knew she would be the one to go off on her own. She would not have been the one to take over the pack out of her siblings, and they all had the same knowledge she had so it was not as if she had anything unique to offer them.

"I suppose I always knew I would leave one day, but it was not as if I woke up one day and decided to go on my own out of the blue. It was more..." her words trailed off as she thought about how to phrase the words. "I realised I didn't need my family like I did as a young pup, I felt ready to leave, I... wanted to leave, even though I knew I would miss my family." Clover turned to Viorel, mixed emotions on her face - a swirl of happiness and a touch of sadness. "There was a yearning inside me, not of just adventure, but a desire to go out and help others... to find my own place in the world that I helped make with my own hard work." She was unsure of whether he would understand what she meant, but maybe it would give him something to think about.

She listened silently as he spoke, attention pulled away from her search to look at him, ears pricking up curiously. Their gaze met as he turned to look at her, and she offered a warm smile, internally feeling full of joy when he said he would stay if everything went as plan. She was glad to hear he would stay, and that his cousins might as well. Being alone again was not something she thought she could bear, the long cold nights with no one else to curl up next to made her shiver just at the thought. "I'm glad to hear that," she said with a wag of her tail. "I intend to stay with all of you for as long as you'll allow me." She felt no need to mention Vayko's initial hostility towards her, knowing that Viorel was aware of his stance towards her, but she hoped she could earn the tawny male's trust someday soon.

(This post was last modified: Jan 25, 2021, 12:18 AM by Clover.)

And a circus ain't a love story

He was pleased that he at least somewhat understood what they were supposed to be looking for, but he was going to leave most of it to Clover. When the time came for actual digging after the thaw Viorel would be more than happy to take the wolf’s share of the work. The idea of the future seemed a little less scary now that he had his brother and cousins at his side, and now a friendship with Clover. They were all young, and he knew they had a lot to learn but it felt like they were all on the right track.

What the woman had to say soothed his nerves a little, he had always known he would have to leave the Estuary as well. Maybe he hadn’t thought it would be quite so soon but it was nice to know that how he felt wasn’t completely crazy. Nodding when their eyes met Viorel smiled in encouragement, ”I also always thought I would leave the coast I just….didn’t picture it happening quite so quickly. Or, that I wouldn’t even know where it was so I can’t visit.”

Viorel almost completely missed the next thing that Clover said, his mind still caught up on the way that she casually mentioned being a pup. Shit. Just when he thought he was going to have some time without thinking about what Vayko had said. Yellow eyes scanned the horizon distractedly and the teen only hummed in response. Eventually he blurted out ”Vayko thinks that to keep the pack strong I should have pups this year.” Very smooth Viorel, very smooth. Keeping his gaze locked straight ahead he continued, ”I don’t have a dad, never did. I don’t even know….what a dad does, and even if I did who would even want to have pups with me?” Everything that had been so heavy on his mind just blurted out, and there was no taking it back now.

And now we're both sorry

She was delighted to see that Viorel understood what she had felt that had spurred her to leave her home, it was nice to know she was not the only one who had felt that way. Her muzzle gently brushed against his shoulder in an attempt to reassure him that everything would turn out okay in the end, even though his words did confuse her a little bit. She remembered how he had told her that him and his group had not intended to leave their home, but she could not understand what he meant by that. Surely they had left of their own volition? Or maybe they had been forced to leave? "If you don't mind me prying, why did you leave your home? And... why can't you find your way back?" It would take some time but she could definitely find her way back home, so why could they not?

Clover was taken aback at his abrupt topic change, of pups of all things. Her mouth fell open a bit as she thought about his words, completely unsure of what to say in response. In the back of her mind she knew packs needed to have pups to be strong and keep the bloodline going, but to be suddenly faced with the prospect caught her off guard. She was not aware of any other females in the area that would be joining the pack - as Ana and Vayko did not get along very well - and Sharlee was related to the rest of the boys, so that only left... her. She could feel a hot flush creep up her neck and Clover turned to the side as if she was focusing on looking for a good spot for her medicinal den, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious and not wanting to meet Viorel's gaze.

Of course she wanted pups, but not for at least another year as she still felt young herself, and was not sure if she was ready to bear the burden and responsibility of looking after an entire litter. But pack duty was pack duty, and unless there was someone else would would step up she knew she would do it, even if there was no love in the equation. Once she managed to school her emotions, the hot flush simmering away to but a bit of nervousness, her gaze returned to Viorel. "I'm sure you'd make a great father, you're level headed and know when to be responsible. All the stuff about learning how to be a dad comes from first-hand experience." She offered him a smile, hoping he took her words to heart. "And I... do understand that as of right now I'm the only female who you're not related to," she continued, feeling her cheeks warm up again, but she was determined to get the words out. "But I know the importance of a pack having a litter, especially in the early years, and I would be willing to take part in making that happen." She was not sure if Viorel had even considered asking her, but she felt like mentioning her willingness nonetheless to do her part in making sure the pack was strong and would last.

Wrap up with your next post?

And a circus ain't a love story

Viorel had forgotten that he had never told Clove how the Valles had all ended up in these woods, not that he had all the answers himself. Sighing softly as he tried to find the right words to explain a situation that really had no explanation, his dark brow furrowed. After a moment or two of silence as he worked through it the teen did his best to explain, ”Well, I was at home and it was a normal day. Then out of nowhere these strange animals showed up, they were bald and made weird grunting noises and walked on two legs.” He stopped talking for a minute, trying to think back through the hazy memories and make sense of it all.

It was frustrating, not being able to remember everything clearly, and even more so that what he could remember was more confusing than anything else. ”Before I even had a chance to react I got a sharp feeling on my haunches, I thought it was a sting but Vayko said his felt more like a bite. Anyways, then I got really tired and I don’t remember anything else until I woke up close to here, so sick to my stomach.” He paused again, staring ahead of him not saying anything, he wasn’t sure that any of what he was saying was even going to make sense to Clover. ”So that’s why we can’t go back, we don’t know where here is, or how far it is from the Estuary, or if the rest of our family is still back there or if they’re here or maybe they’re somewhere else.” They were making it seem like the pack was their own choice, but really it might have been the only choice that they had.

There were other things to worry about right now though than what the two legs had done to them. That was in the past and now Viorel was looking to his future, and the future of all his family he had here and what they were trying to build. And, as Vayko had made it so abundantly clear, that meant pups. A terrifying thought. Clover wouldn’t look him in the eye so Viorel tried to keep his eyes firmly forward, but it was hard. He kept catching himself looking at her out of the corner of his eye as the silence stretched on. His paws came to a stop when she started talking again, turning to give her his full attention.

Yellow eyes widened in surprise, he couldn’t believe that Clover was so willing to make this pack as strong as it could be, she hardly knew them. Moving forward he pressed his nose softly into her cheek, ”Clover, you cannot begin to understand how thankful I am that we ran into each other in those creepy woods.” The world was certainly working in mysterious ways recently.

And now we're both sorry