"Yeah," she agreed, almost suggesting tomorrow could work. She couldn't commit to that. The opportunity to hunt may come up, or... Ok she didn't have good reason, but didn't change her mind. She was sure he wouldn't let her get away without seeing it, and no use worrying about it twice.
The Aquila had not wanted to cause him pain by the question, but she knew the thing about pain was, it was there rather you were reminded or not. She had thought he might share something good from his childhood. There she was, not expecting the unexpected even though they just talked about it. What he said was something else. Much deeper. A confession that had been eating him up for a long time by the sounds of it. For never having met they sure traveled on the same kind of road.
"That's the nice thing about parents, the good ones any way. They're happy to see you no matter what. Love you no matter what. Maybe, you don't think you've done right by them, but all I know is I see a man trying." She closed her mouth, biting the inside of her cheek. It dawned on her that was her own mom. Relieved she'd just made it back. Proud of her for just being her kid. She'd saw that with Kyna too. Aponi wasn't exactly fond of the way Kyna did things, but Lila had seen her pride for her. How she'd made her own life. She already felt like she'd said too much. His amusement at her last comment didn't help. She ought to work harder at keeping her mouth closed. She'd done pretty damn good these last few years. But, when someone got real with her, she had a harder time helping it. Especially, because she couldn't quite grasp why he'd said that.
She had no amusement, or softness. Just straight up honesty, she didn't mean to be brutal and yet she couldn't quite keep the small current of anger out of it. "You know you want to live here. Want this to be home. You want to carry on your parents legacy in some way." He wasn’t completely fumbling in the dark with nothing. "Maybe you don’t have it all figured out but you have settled some important things. You aren’t running any more. Me? It’s a feeling I’m still trying to kill." No doubt about it, or her life would be a lot different. She tried to meet his mismatched gaze with a steady one of her own. "If you don't think you want to be a leader or you'll make a good one well don't be one. Half-assed leaders never did anyone any favors. But, you didn't come back just to look at this place, and write yourself off. I'd wager you're determined to do it. Yeah you might screw some things up along the way. But don't we all? What's the worst you could do? Start a war. Let your pack starve. Don't see you making those kind of costly mistakes. I've met most your pack, pretty sure they'll tell ya if you slip up. Even better they'll forgive you for minor things."
She let out a sigh, and with it most of her agitation. It was with a warmer look, and softer tone she added. "Not to dis your parents, but I don't think they had it all figured out either. Mine sure didn't, but didn't stop them from taking care of the Bend. So what's stopping you?" Her own passion had surprised her, but it had felt good to feel not just something, but so strongly about it. She hadn't been passionate about anything in a long time, and she could almost feel bad for throwing it all at him. But she realized she wasn't. She might not have any right to talk to him like that, but the way she saw it someone needed to. If she finally threw him out of shape, so be it. She only had room for so many regrets.