Sex: MaleHe was still so tired. Ever since Xulia had brought him to this new home, he’d been spending almost all his time sleeping. Which was all the better, really, as whenever he was awake, his whole body ached! From the frequent headaches and constant soreness in his joints, to the ever-present hunger knowing at his stomach, being awake had been so miserable that he was more than happy to just pass out; at least in his dreams he could move around without hurting. Yet, every so often, they would wake him up, force him out of his pleasant fantasy to confront that pain. With gentle determination, they’d coax water laced with bitter herbs, and carefully chewed meat into his shriveled stomach. He was never allowed enough to quell the hunger and yet, half the time he couldn’t keep down even those little bits. At times it seemed like none of it was worth it, and he even longed for those early days, where he’d been so ill, he wasn’t even aware of himself most of the time. On top of being starved to the bone, his days in the mire and compromised immune system had brewed a nasty case of pneumonia in his chest. He’d been on the very brink for a number of days, and it was thanks to the dedicated work of Dead Empress’ healers that he was even still alive. But he remained weak, and still had a persistent cough along with a tight pain in his chest whenever he breathed too deeply. Since then, it had been a steep, uphill climb. Ever so slowly, he gained weight, though his ribs still showed clearly under thin, dull fur. His muscles felt more like blubber, his legs wobbling when he tried to stand – though he had started to walk a few steps now and then, with support – and he was exhausted from even this little bit of movement. The biggest improvement, by far, was his mind. While he still had holes in his memory, and often found himself zoning out, his thoughts were clearer and clearer every day. It was a blessing and a curse really, with more cohesive thought came also the stark awareness of his inability to do anything. He was acutely aware, not only of his own pain and weakness, but the burden that imposed on the pack; A pack, he had recently learned, which was also caring for several litters of pups. And most of all, he was lonely in his isolation, unable to participate in typical pack life, he hadn’t even met most of them, having been confined first by quarantine, and then by his miserable state. But today, at least, he had been helped out into the sun to doze, rather than the dimness of the den. Finally he was strong enough to be left alone out here, close enough that he could creep back inside if the heat became too much. But for now it was a wonderful thing, feeling the warmth as he lay outstretched, head on his paws, eyes blinking open now and then, just to catch a glimpse of this Dead Empress Backwater, the new home of the Vale’s. For now, he could enjoy a little peace, and just maybe, if they asked very nicely, one of his packmates would be allowed to come say hello. . Thoughts ”Speech” |
A lot had happened since she'd gotten to this place and then here. How important family was to her. It currently overrode her desire to lead and have her own space. She still has feelings for him. How could she not after what they'd been through? But...Hazel. Sita would proceed assuming that her child would draw ire. But her children would come first.
On this particularly lovely day, Sita chose to carry a rabbit to his healing den. In the vicinity of the den, she could smell him. So she doubled back and grabbed a small meal that perhaps they could share. She walked with confidence, more certain of her stance over the last few weeks.
He looked...scrawny. Smaller than he had been. Her heart ached. "Vasco?" She approached slowly, keeping her voice quieter, slightly muffled around the rabbit.
He had dozed off, but her voice reached him like siren song, drawing him back to reality. Dull-grey eyes blinked open, heavy lids fluttering several times, as if to make sure he was really seeing her. He’d know she was here of course, but it still wasn’t the same as seeing her for himself.
Raising up his head, the skinny wolf grimaced a little at the stiff ache in his neck. He had to take a moment to shift a little in place, trying to rest as well as he could while holding his head upright. It felt wrong, staying down, he wanted to run to her, to greet her as she deserved, but he couldn’t. All he could do was rasp: “Sita…?” His voice was a hoarse croak, kept low as to not irritate his scratchy throat too much; “It’s… It’s really you…?” He couldn’t help it, he’d been searching for so long , he needed the confirmation.
A momentary attempt at support was all she could offer, like she was actually helping him hold up his head before she pulled hers back to finally answer him. "It is. I didn't think I would see you again." But they'd all been scattered. Though he wasn't blood, why not him, too?
She was so gentle, so kind to him even though he’d failed her. Her words making his heart ache, contrary to her intention. But still he smiled, a pale grimace on his worn face, but true all the way through. He barely even noticed the meal she’d brought, though his stomach gurgled as she dropped it before him, but he had eyes only for her, soaking her up, trying to fill every fiber of his being with her, to drown out the pain. It was simply too good to be true. After all those months, he was so astounded, so happy to know that she was safe, that they were all safe. Even though he hadn’t been the one to save them. As she lay down next to him, he had to focus hard on controlling his breathing, knowing how too deep a breath would burn his recovering lungs; in the end he struggled to even breath at all. Her brief touch was heaven, the dome of her head fitting so perfectly on his shoulder. It was a blessing and yet a relief when she quickly pulled back, allowing him to breath again; Slow and steady… Hazy eyes looked over at her, wide with adoration, even as he felt the pain of his failure, knowing what it had cost. “Me neither…” he whispered. Part of him wanted to explain himself, to plead and beg. Surely, she knew that all this time he had been searching for her? But it was too great an effort. In the end it didn’t matter, he couldn’t save his family, and, in the end, they had to save him. He was silent for a long time, just looking at her, longing to reach out but fearing how his body might react to the movement; And fearing her rejection. Finally, he simply said: “But here we are, all of us… I’m just so happy that you’re okay.” And he meant it. For whatever else he felt, he could not wish anything bad on Sita or their children. . Thoughts ”Speech” |
The silence lingered and she saw no need to fill it so began to gently groom his ears. A tentative motion at first in case he pulled away or expressed signs of pain. She would only stop to answer, "We are all OK, and soon, you will be as well." There was hope behind the words. She longed to mention Hazelnut to him, but thought better of it. What would it do in this moment other than cause him pain? Sita finding herself with another man, letting her judgement lapse in a time of stress.
"How did you find your way here?" Sita asked before grooming him again.
Just being here with her was a blessing unlike anything else on earth. His heart swelled with love, looking at her gentle, beautiful face, causing a painful tightness in his chest. He found himself drowning in her brilliant blue eyes, forgetting, for a moment, all the time that had passed; What had come between them. Her caress however, brought him violently back to the present, tears welling up in his eyes, though he quickly blinked to hide them. He wanted to just stay here, lean into her touch and drift off, safe in his love’s embrace. For a moment her allowed himself to savor that feeling, quivering slightly, then, thankfully, she pulled back. Her words were almost as painful though, the genuine care in her voice making him feel all the worse about himself; You’re too kind…! Perhaps it would have been easier if she wasn’t, if he had come here to find her happy and in love with someone else, without so much as a glance left for her secret lover. Then he could have simply died in peace, knowing they were all safe. And yet the very thought pained him, imagining her with another man. Weak as he was now, with her before his eyes, he was imagining all manner of ways to dispatch of this newest interloper. He’d done it before, it could only be easier the second time around; And then, what about the pup… The unwelcome thought almost made him flinch, eyes drifting to his paws. That was a much more complicated thing, and one he preferred not to think of at all; I couldn’t hurt a child… He wasn’t that callous, not yet. Lost in this spiral of horror, he almost missed her question, awoken only by her continuing to nuzzle him, oh so gently. It was too much to bear! Averting his eyes, so as not to see her hurt, he pulled away, biting down on one cheek to collect himself. “I didn’t,” He started, voice hollow, eyes directed firmly at the ground; “Not really. I went all over the place, in all the wrong directions, searching all the wrong places. If it hadn’t been for Xuli, I’d have died without ever finding you.” He swallowed, tasing blood, eyes stinging again at the very thought of having come so close, only to fail. Finally he took a deep breath, forcing himself to look her in the eye; “You… You were all put here, together?” It seemed especially cruel, that he should have been dropped so far north, with the rest of his family gathering up to start a new home here, all without him. . Thoughts ”Speech” |
She flinched, her lips twitching instinctively at the sudden movement and then the smell of blood. The anger was not directed at him; simply reactionary. They settled with her haunches after a brief moment. He was lost, very lost, found only by sweet Xulia. A role reversal. Sita hummed thoughtfully at his short tale and then shook her head. "I crossed a mountain with two others to find that Viorel had managed to find much of our family. He's a smart boy. Strong." The best of them, who didn't deserve the hand he'd been dealt. And yet somehow was still winning the game.
He hated this, hated being so fragile! It had always been his worst bane, being the runt, the lanky youth, the gangly stranger. In his earliest time at the Estuary, he had envied Platon that one thing – though he told himself he preferred his brain over the brute’s mindless brawn – he so wanted to be that man, the one who could fold his Sita within his power and protect her. He’d won in the end, proving to himself at least, that cunning won out, and in the time after, he had come to forget the weakness, as he reflected himself in his lover’s eyes. But now, he was a shell of even that, his mind feeling as shriveled as his body. He knew it had gotten better of course, and that it would continue to, but lying here, with her gaze upon him, he felt weak once more; Unworthy…! So when she answered his question, giving just a little inside into the fight she had gone through to make it here, he only felt worse. That he hadn’t been there for her, that he couldn’t ease her struggles as he had sworn to. And it stung as well, knowing what his behind that phrasing: others. But he couldn’t face it. Not now when he was still a shell, a dried twig that even the puniest opponent could snap, and without the brains to outwit them; Yet… So he would wait, until he knew more, and until he was ready to face the truth, tooth and claw if it came to it. Instead he focused on the second half of her statement, smiling faintly; “That he is,” he agreed, humming lowly with pride; “I would never have wished for them to be tested like this,” he paused, both for breath, and to allow the weight of those words to sink in; for what parent would wish any of this on their children? “But he has come through it with glory! To manage both finding everyone and assuring their safety. Leading a pack of his own, I couldn’t be prouder!” And it was the truth. The only good thing to come of all this mess. . Thoughts ”Speech” |
"Proud, proud parents." Sita hummed in agreement and leaned very gently against him. "Perhaps its best to get some sleep now."