Dead Empress Backwater be damn proud of me

what i really need now is a double shot of crown

He snorted softly at her childish attempt to tease him, wrinkling his nose in return before he chuckled softly. “You have yourself a deal, Ms. Assana.” He teased with an overly pretentious bow in her direction with his head, exaggerated to continue negotiations.

He had been weighing the words since Vi had teased him about it… did he want to be a parent? And if he did, with who? There had only been one name to cross his mind and since it entered it, he hadn’t been able to rid himself of the image of it. This was all his cousin’s fault… his cousin and his floozer ways of yesteryear. He listened intently to her answer, genuinely curious about it. “I imagine… I hardly helped with raising any of Vi’s brood… but it was chaotic enough sitting on the sidelines. I can’t imagine being stuck in the middle like that.” He offered his condolences in a way, that the chaos had been resting on her even if she’d also had Vi and Vana’s support.

There was a soft smile and he couldn’t help the tease again. “I’m very glad you endured all of my torments… and I am sorry… about them.” He had never really apologized to her for his behavior before, but better late than never, right?

She went on to consider him a good father, despite him not having a brood of his own and he felt the heat rise to his cheeks in the moment, feeling as she bumped her nose against his cheek and he was nervous that she might have felt the heat of the flush radiating off of him in that moment, but he bumped back lightly. “I don’t know… any time I think about it, there’s only one I would really consider starting a family with… I just don’t think there’s any returning interest, you know? And I'm not like Vi... the whole arranging to have a litter but then going out and finding love. I just... I want love the first time around, you know? I know you both did it for the pack before Vana was in the picture, but I'm not in that same position as he was a year ago. We already have an alpha who can provide.” He posed, not willing to admit aloud that it was the very woman he was talking to. He wasn’t sure when it had happened…

Just that it had. “I was kind of mean to her in the beginning…” He hoped it would hint enough without having to admit to saying it out loud…

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol started playing towards the end of me writing this post, and I think it is a very fitting song choice xD

A pleased crooning sound left her maw at Vayko's admittance of agreement, along with a short bark of laughter at his overdramatic bow. She was greatly enjoying seeing this newer and more playful side of him, and to be honest it made her chest and stomach flutter with a feeling she didn't quite have the words to explain. But it wasn't a bad feeling, so she had no complaints.

Clover raised another shoulder in a half shrug with a soft sigh, remembering all too well just how intense that period of time had been. "I didn't expect everything to be quite so... out of control, but I knew Viorel had my back so that made it a little easier." She didn't think she would've been able to get through it all without him, and was eternally grateful for how he had stepped willingly into the role of fatherhood.

"You weren't that bad," she said with another grin, "A little prickly yes, but nothing I couldn't handle." Clover appreciated the apology nonetheless, even though it wasn't necessary in her mind. She could understand where he had come from, especially given being freshly thrown into a whole new world unwillingly and separated from half his family. He deserved some leeway for that.

Her nose felt warm at the contact with his cheek fur, and she was glad he didn't pull away, even a little surprised at the returned bump. She stepped backwards to a comfortable distance, ears pricked forward as he launched into a seemingly impromptu speech. Clover squinted slightly at the mention of unrequited feelings, struggling to piece together who it could be considering only her and Vanadis were unrelated to him in the pack. Perhaps it was an outsider she hadn't met yet? She interjected her thoughts when Vayko paused briefly, feeling like it was a good moment to share what she thought was valuable information.

"Well, maybe you should just tell her how you feel, there's a chance she feels the same way about you. And I think love is an important factor when considering starting a family; what happened between Viorel and I was a bit of an unusual case." But as he finished his remaining thoughts she felt her jaws open slightly in an 'o' shape of surprise as revelation filled her.

Oh. Oh. The unrequited feelings were about her.

She was definitely blushing ferociously now. "Have you really thought about... starting a family with... me?"

what i really need now is a double shot of crown

Vayko remembered witnessing the chaos from the outside. He had not been mad with Clover. He had known about the plan, that she was supposed to end up pregnant… he’d been furious with Viorel for putting them all in such a compromising situation. It had all worked out, but the litters had also been fairly small in the process. He hummed with a nod in agreement to her statement. “He did… we all did, even if it didn’t quite seem like it at the time.” She had become a part of the Valle family with that, even if she didn’t carry the last name.

He snorted softly. He was he really not that bad? He offered an incredulous look in her direction but she seemingly accepted the apology. He was still working through the trauma of being abducted by aliens and separated from his family. .That would only take time to work through, but it was a little better now that at least his father was there and sticking around unlike his Aunts… and then there was his mother. He hoped she found her way to them soon. He missed her terribly, more and more with each passing day.

He saw her squint and for a moment he thought perhaps he had missed his mark… she just wasn’t interested but really, he had to shoot his shot, didn’t he? She suggested that he just tell her how he felt… and he was flabbergasted, staring for a moment and blinking. Did she really not gather from all of that, that he was talking about her? He opened his mouth to very bluntly state ‘I’m trying to right now’ but the ‘o’ made him confident that his point was finally getting across…

And then she was clarifying, that heat rising again as he glanced at his paws with a unique interest for a few moments. “Is it really that outlandish to believe?” He asked softly… perhaps he had just read the situation all wrong. “Yes, I have… quite a bit.” He clarified his own language, though he was certain that he was just being stupid and ruining the friendship that he had with the healer in front of him.

All thoughts unrelated to the emotional bombshell Vayko had just dropped vanished from her mind, and instead she consumed with overlapping new introspections and trying to piece together when exactly he had developed these feelings. Was it recent, or had she just been oblivious this whole time? And now she was questioning her own feelings and emotions, which was not what she had been expecting to do this day.

She looked his way, noting how he stared down at his paws as if they were the most interesting thing, but mostly focusing on what he was saying. His answer took her breath away, and she had to force herself to inhale and exhale, lest she feel faint and fall over. It had been one thing when her and Viorel had discussed having children together for the sake of the pack, but Vayko had pointedly mentioned wanting to love before starting a family, and she found herself licking her lips to try and figure out how to work her mouth again.

"I just... didn't think you liked me in that way," Clover finally said, her eyes still widened in surprise. It had taken a while for him to even warm up to the idea of them being friends, at least from what she could see, so now hearing an admission of feelings left her just a bit speechless. "I didn't even let myself entertain the thought of... being with you, as I assumed you only wanted to be... friends." She was starting to regain full use of her mouth and brain again, but found herself still stumbling over her words as she spoke, having not been prepared for this type of conversation. Usually she was so good at speaking eloquently, but how the tables had turned.

what i really need now is a double shot of crown

It wasn’t often that the healer was left speechless, and there was a small part of him that was satisfied that he had managed to pull such a reaction from her… and that part was overridden by the anxiety of wondering how she was going to react to the information she now had access to. Surely there was no way she was interested back, right? The family tree alone if they were to have children would be enough to make her run for the hills, right? She explained and Vayko found himself frowning.

Was this her subtle way of rejecting him? Surely he hadn’t been that secretive about his feelings, the added attention, the showing her places he admitted he would not show the others… it had started around the time he’d fought the turtle, and only grown and flourished. Perhaps he really was just that good at hiding his emotions, pushing them down so they do not break outside of the little box he tried to fit them all into. The best lessons from dad, was he right?

She admitted that she had never even considered it, and he felt his heart sink further. She had never let a single stray thought of it cross her mind? It brought a frown to his features. “I…” He trailed off, finding himself speechless as he tried to figure out what the hell he was supposed to say to that. “At first, I think I did… but somewhere along the way… just being friends didn’t seem like an option I was happy with.” He admitted, to the point as he always tried to be. God, he was such an idiot. What was he even doing right now? He found himself hopelessly protective over her and it scared the shit out of him. He wasn’t used to feelings like these. He’d never done this before; he’d never let himself feel this deeply before. She was caring, and kind, and a calming temperament that perfectly balanced out and reigned in the chaos he so frequently expressed… how could he not want something deeper?

Clover immediately felt a pang of... something inside, at the sight of the frown on his face, knowing that she had caused it, even just accidentally. But for once she didn't know what to say to make it go away, now feeling more tongue tied than ever in her entire life. She could only assume this is what a yearling with a crush felt like: not knowing what to say or do in fear of making everything worse. Thankfully Vayko continued speak, saving her from just standing there silently.

"Oh." Well if that wasn't a love confession then she didn't know what was, other than actually saying the words outright. Was it love? Was it just a crush? She couldn't tell, but his words definitely brought forth a surge of warmth to her face, and she found herself still just sort of staring at him. "Well I'm always willing to... try," Clover managed to get out, pushing through any awkwardness of admitting that she did feel something, but just never let herself dwell on it.

There was no reason to not like him, and he could definitely be charming when he wanted to. Clover had always wanted to settle down one day, but had been willing to wait until something flourished naturally. What better way to do that than simply try? For all her knowledge of plants and how to heal others, she wasn't very good at dissecting her own thoughts and emotions, but looking at him definitely brought up a different feeling than looking at anyone else in the pack. Was that what having a crush was like?

(This post was last modified: Mar 16, 2022, 02:26 PM by Clover.)

what i really need now is a double shot of crown

He did not know when all of his misguided self-confidence had turned to chaos and anxiety, but it had. He felt a pit in his stomach, the nerves quietly chewing away at his insides as he forced it into that little box to avoid showing it outwardly. It was always there… perhaps it was the fear of everything changing again, or losing his support system as he had partially with Modesto… he truly could not justify or explain his own reasonings.

She listened, and her response was… lackluster. He knew he had caught her by surprise. She had admitted that she never considered it before so how could she develop feelings in an instant? She couldn’t and he knew that… and then she was staring, and he found himself frowning. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to… you don’t have to decide anything right now or even today. I can be patient… I just… I needed you to know.” He admitted. He didn’t want her to pity with him… pity puppies or a pity marriage were the last thing that he wanted.

They could try. They could take it slow, or they could not try at all if she truly wasn’t interested and was just trying to save face with him because he was one of the alphas… he would find a way to be okay with whatever she wanted because it was her happiness that he cared about.

He was still frowning, and she wondered for a moment if she said something wrong, but along with his next words came a feeling of reassurance. An earnest look appeared on her face. "No no I want to! I really do! Clover tried to put as much sincerity into her words as she could, to show him that she did truly mean what she was saying. "I'm just... so used to putting everyone else before myself, so I guess I just don't really know how to navigate a relationship like this."

It wasn't that she didn't want to test the waters and feel out a more romantically inclined relationship with him, but she just had no firsthand experience so didn't even know where to start. This was very different than the agreement her and Viorel had decided upon, but it filled her with a sense of excitement and wonder. Perhaps it was time she took a step back from helping others to focus more on herself and what she wanted for once.

"Maybe we could take it slow, and just see where it takes us?" She didn't want to rush into anything too fast, but at the same time it felt like a new branch of possibilities had opened up before her, and she was eager to see where she would end up. Where they would end up.

what i really need now is a double shot of crown

She insisted that she wanted to and he could tell she was being honest, that she meant it… and he hummed at her words. Her selflessness was something he admired about her. He’d struggled so much with that very trait in the past. “Start by… putting yourself first. Maybe we can help each other with that?” She could teach him how to put someone else first and he could teach her to put herself first. They could figure it out together. He was willing to try and so was she.

She suggested taking it slow and he nodded. He didn’t want to press her beyond her comfort. “Slow is good. I can do slow.” He agreed with her, a smile on his features and relief flooding through him. He was relieved that she was willing to try at all, honestly. “Maybe we could start by eating together? I could pull you away from your plants for a meal a day and we could just talk?”

She nodded eagerly at his offer, tail swishing happily behind her. If it meant spending more one on one time with him, then she didn't mind what they did. Getting some pointers at the same from Vayko on how to go about not always putting others before her was just a bonus, and it would also give them a goal to work towards together. "I like the sound of that, and thank you." Her lips curled up into a grin then, glad to see he was willing to help her out, and that he agreed to take things slow.

Her ears twitched at his idea, a pleased-sounding hum leaving her maw. She did often get caught up in her duties, so taking a break to eat and chat sounded like a wonderful thing to do. "That's a great idea! Just make sure I don't talk your ears off," Clover said with a bit of a giggle. Once she got into something it was hard to get her to stop talking, but she'd try her best to not overwhelm him.

She nudged a front paw towards the rabbit Vayko had brought her, dipping her head down towards it with a questioning look in her eyes. "Well, since you've already brought me a snack - and thank you again for that - we could talk some more before I get back to my work?" There was much more to do, but it would be nice to properly think about something else for a short while, and she did know of a nice spot by a bend in the creek they could sit together at. "Only if you want to though!" Clover quickly added, feeling another soft flush up her cheeks, hoping she hadn't overstepped any bounds, not knowing if Vayko would rather do something else once they wrapped up this... eye-opening conversation.