Kingsfall what i’ve felt

It had to have been almost a year since the last time he’d seen Nori. And, about a half-year since Siyet had decided to broach that topic with him, back at the Cove. They had been through a lot, since then. His own transformation, which had been drastic even then, had only continued in the subsequent months. He’d found himself opening up to, and attempting many things that he would never have considered before he had come to the Lore.

Except for that one thing. He’d tried to put it aside, shove it away, bury it, forget about it. And he’d been pretty successful too, until Finley had birthed her child. Now, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Though he wasn’t, and never could be, a part of Jet wished he could have been the dad. At least then, the kid wouldn’t have to grow up wondering, hurting - as he had.

And it had gotten him thinking again. About his past, his future, and the reservations he still had, because of it.

For several days he’d thought until he’d decided he’d done enough of that. He needed to talk to her again. So, after tracking down a gift, the dark one had wandered away from most of the others. Away from the lake, and into the mighty forest he had already come to like, and still hoped to call home, once this drought thing cleared up.

Then he’d sat back, at the base of a massive tree, placing the singular red flower he’d tracked down at his paws, before calling to her.

surprise thread for @Siyet when you have time!

Siyet was wondering around the forest, it had become a new home for her and Jethro, as well as the others around the area. She wasn't too familiar with the others but she had comfort in the fact that she at least had someone she knew.

She was working on gathering leaves, branches, anything she could use to make a temporary bed to take a long nap in. She paused for a moment to strech, feeling her hamstrings and back muscles stretch out pleasantly. It was then when she heard his call.

The all too familiar call of Jethro. She wondered if something was wrong, so she finished her stretch and started trotting to where she heard the call. She found him, he was sitting near a tree, with a flower at his feet. Siyet thought this was a little odd, and wondered what this might be about. She hoped that there wasn't something wrong. She was still getting used to the customs of this new place.

"Hello Jethro, is everything alright?"

She said this in a tone that let off she might be a little worried yet curious.

The white figure stood out amidst this forest, and there was a look of.. was it confusion? Across her countenance. A feeling he shared, for he hadn’t the faintest idea as to whether this, and the whole flower-gift thing was a good idea, or not. It had seemed like it, at the time. He’d know soon enough, though.

Is everything alright, she asked. Nothing about the gift, but she’d probably noticed it, so it was too late to go back now. Taking a breath, Jet offered a nod. ”Yes. This is for you,” the dark one spoke, leaning over to gently grasp the flower by its stem, before sauntering a few paces forward to deliver it at Siyet’s paws.

”It’s not much, but.. I wanted to give you somethin’ t’show my appreciation to you, for you being here.” That counted for quite a lot, actually. As much as Jet found himself missing Nori, his first friend - he didn’t want that to be at the expense of someone that was still here. That didn’t make any damn sense at all.

Siyet was taken aback, she was surprised by what Jethro had done. She didn't expect the flower to be for her, especially after what Jethro had said in the past.

"Than...thank you. It's a very pretty flower."

She smiled at him, and if he could see through her fur, he would see that she was bright red.

"I'm glad I came with you here. We've had quite the experience here I wouldn't have had back at the cove. So, thank you."

With this she couldn't contain herself and her tail started to wag. She was getting hopeful, but also cautious. She hoped that something more would come from this but also didn't want a broken heart.

It was a very pretty flower, she said. Her smile told him the words were genuine. It, too, was very pretty, though Jet found he didn’t quite have the courage to say that. Thankfully, he didn’t have to think about that for too long either, as the other thanked him in turn for this experience, too.

Jethro felt himself mirror her smile, as he dipped his nose in a modest nod. ”Sure has been, hasn’t it? It’s been good, though. Mostly..” Minus a couple of key, major points, anyway. Still, the experience wasn’t one he would have traded for anything. The mention of the cove, too, provided a decent transition into the next topic, too.

”About the cove, though. And what you said, there, ‘bout.. uh, your feelings,” Jet started, pausing for a breath, and then to consider his words. He’d thought about what he wanted to say for days, though now that he was here, none of it seemed good enough. He had been through so much and changed in so many different ways, over the last year. Why then, was this topic still so difficult to think of or speak about? Even now he felt himself wanting to change or evade the subject, but he’d done enough of that.

They couldn’t avoid a conversation like this forever, and they did need to know where they stood, however this would play out. ”I wish I could tell you I feel the same. A part of me wants to, but.. I’m afraid of hurting you, or.. not being good enough. And then, there’s Nori...” he trailed off, sure that his friend would pick up on the implications there. If she ever came back…, he really wouldn’t know what to do.

At the time, Siyet had, oddly enough, almost predicted those feelings. It really did seem to be true, that absence made the heart grow fonder - but a part of Jet loathed that it was at the expense of someone that was still here and a part of his life. This was all too confusing. So much for a clear head, and an easy discussion.


---ah, this darned stubborn boy still don't wanna cooperate yet.

Siyet listened to his words and offered a slight smile. She could see that he was struggling with decisions and how he felt. Siyet knew that feeling all too well. Since she had confessed to Jethro, things have felt a little off between them. She couldn't quite understand what it was but she think she understood now.

She walked up to Jethro, nuzzled his neck and said, "Jethro, you don't need to try so hard. I know that I shared my feeling with you. But you said you weren't exactly in a place to have those feelings too. I want you to be happy, and I want you to do what is best for you. If that includes me, then great. If it doesn't, then that is fine too."

She released the hug and stepped back and looked into his eyes.

"Regardless of my feelings for you, I want you to feel comfortable with your life. So don't feel like you need to choose between Nori and me. Follow your heart.

She offered him another smile. She was genuine with her words, she had already felt the heartbreak once. She could take it again if that was what happened. She was slightly optimistic though, hoping that Jethro would want to be with her.

Surprisingly, the soft touch, from his friend, short though it was, was a grounding one. That, along with her words provided relief from the many odd and chaotic thoughts plaguing his mind. Maybe she was right, though, and he didn't need to try so hard, or to worry so much. Jet might've been more tempted to agree, if he didn't think that his efforts and concerns were the good kind. He wanted to make sure he did right by and for everyone he cared for, that was important.

She had said it before, but it was assuring to hear it again, though, that their friendship wouldn’t be damaged, regardless of how these other things played out. Was she right, too, that it didn’t need to be a choice? Follow your heart, she advised. If only it felt as simple as that.. but perhaps, in some ways, it was.

”Would, if I knew what it was tryin’ to tell me. I know, though, that I do want you around.” However this played out, that, Jet was sure of. He’d have said the same to Nori, but for whatever reason, she was gone. If leaving had been a decision on her part, and she’d been gone all this time, he supposed that spoke to how she felt about him and her family. If, though, the decision had been taken from her, and she hadn’t come back for this long.. one could only assume the worst. Either way, it meant any feelings he had weren’t likely to be reciprocated.

”But.. there’s not really a choice. You’re here, and she’s not. You’re everythin’ any guy worth anything could ever want, and it’d be dumb of me to ignore that,” Jet admitted. The whole Nori thing was a damned hard pill to swallow, even if he’d come to that conclusion, on some level, a while ago. But that also meant it was even worse to push away someone that was still here.

Blinking a few times, though, Jet realized something. ”If I were to say yes, to this, with you, what.. is it that you’d want, Si? From me, and, in your life?” Sure, she’d told him how she felt, and that she wanted to be a part of this pack idea - but what else? Maybe knowing more about what Siyet wanted, would give him a better idea of whether or not he could actually be that, for her.

(This post was last modified: Jul 12, 2022, 11:19 PM by Jethro.)

Siyet listened to Jethro's words and pondered them for a moment. His words were a little odd for him. One things that caught her attention was that he said that, You are here, she is not. She hoped that this didn't mean that he would settle. She hoped that he meant that because she was here and Nori was not, it meant that she being there was meaningful to Jethro.

She sighed a little, but not in an unhappy way. "Jet...when I confessed to you I was hoping that something could come from it. I mean...I still think that the time I have spent with you has been the best times of my life. I would....like to spend the rest of it with you."

She looked down at her feet more embarrassed than ever. She laid it all out for Jethro once again. It was terrifying and at the same time she felt relief that she could talk to him this way without feeling any sort of hostility coming from him.

Siyet listened to Jethro's words and pondered them for a moment. His words were a little odd for him. One things that caught her attention was that he said that, You are here, she is not. She hoped that this didn't mean that he would settle. She hoped that he meant that because she was here and Nori was not, it meant that she being there was meaningful to Jethro.

She sighed a little, but not in an unhappy way. "Jet...when I confessed to you I was hoping that something could come from it. I mean...I still think that the time I have spent with you has been the best times of my life. I would....like to spend the rest of it with you."

She looked down at her feet more embarrassed than ever. She laid it all out for Jethro once again. It was terrifying and at the same time she felt relief that she could talk to him this way without feeling any sort of hostility coming from him.

His friend's answer was a little less specific than he might have liked, but Jet supposed he wouldn’t have known how to answer that question at all, had it been posed to him. Siyet deserved the very best, he thought - and the dark one was not sure what it meant to be anything more than a friend, and for the longest time, he’d been unwilling to learn about that. And certainly, he’d never thought anyone would have these kinds of feelings for him.

Siyet seemed uncertain too, perhaps. Maybe they both were.

The whole rest of her life bit stuck out, though. That was a thing, wasn’t it, among some wolves? How could anyone be so sure that they’d.. love the same person for so long? ”That’s a heck of a long time, Si. Are you.. sure? Cause, I dunno.. if I can really promise that kinda commitment.” Those sorts of promises had always seemed foolish. Times changed, and with them, sometimes feelings did too. He was evidence of that.

”But, I could.. try. You deserve happiness too, and if I give you that, somehow… well. That’s what makes me happy.” If it meant experiencing and learning about more new and potentially awkward things, well. That was something Jet was willing to try to commit to, for the sake of Siyet, for keeping her here, and making her happier. And for himself, too. He couldn’t ever really know if this kind of relationship was right for him, either, if he didn’t let himself experience one first.