Remembering the Past...

Azariah was feeling a bit blue and she wasn't sure why. Things had been going well in the pack and with Hollow, although she wished that they had even more time to bond.. even though every spare minute of hers she seemed to spend with him or at the very least thinking of him. But right now, she was thinking more about her past and where she had come from. Things were so different now. Better, but so very different.

Growing up she had been a veritable pariah... for reasons that she still could not completely pin down. They feared catching the illness that had plagued her from birth... and yet it was not contagious. She had lived day and night in as close a proximity to Solarra as a wolf could. Yet, the Master Healer had never contracted the strange illness. But that hadn't been enough for the rest of the pack. They avoided the undersized fae like she was death itself. At the order of the Alpha's. But it still broke the sensitive fae's heart for she could not understand their disdain.

The golden fae didn't know why this was on her mind more today than it had been in a very long time, but she felt that she must get away for a bit and just contemplate her life. She loved her life now and would never trade it. It was time to let go of the past if she could. For some reason the Springs that she had first found and spent time in called to her. Yes. That was where she needed to go to sort it all out in her head. Hopefully she wouldn't be long and cause @Hollow and the rest of the pack worry. As a Healer she often trekked off on her own. This would be little different. At least this is what she told herself as she left the Thickets behind and made her way to Secluded Springs.

Destiny leads and I follow...for I am Destiny's Child

The Secret Woodlands alpha found herself wandering around more than usual now a days. It might have had something to do with the fact that she had been holed up in her den for what felt like years and had nothing else to do while the pups were born. Today she was doing a border run though and came upon a fairly fresh scent of Azariah. She had not seen the young girl much over the several months since she had joined and Nina had meant to speak to her several time, but had never ended up coming around to it. Now she found that it was her chance to find the young woman and possibly get to know more about her subordinate, perhaps even comfort her if something was wrong. So taking a look back to make sure that Hollow had not disobeyed her and stayed within the confines of the infirmary, Nina pushed her way through the thickets and back towards the place she use to call home. Letting her emerald eyes take in beauty f the Secluded Springs, she couldn’t help the large smile that broke over her face. It was much more open than the darkness of the thickets, but she still loved this place. The creek that she had learned to love so much glimmered in the distance and she could not help but feel the tug of longing her heart to go swimming in it once again and soak in the cool goodness, but she knew she couldn’t risk such a thing, she was still learning her limitations with her leg every day, she did not wish to risk it popping out ever again.

She knew that was not why she was here anyway and pushed the thoughts of Copper Rock Creek out of her mind as she pushed forward, following her healer’s scent with ease. Seeing her creamy form, Nina cleared her throat to announce her arrival before striding up to Azariah and sitting down next to her, looking in the direction that the younger woman was facing. Letting her voice be calm, she spoke in soothing tones, "Bothering things in your mind aren’t all that pleasant?" Her words might not make much sense, though her puzzling words might have made sense to some, she did not know how well Hollow’s love knew her. They had never spend much of any personal time together but Azariah was still a pack member…a family member and if something was bothering her, then that concerned Nina. She wanted to make everyone as comfortable as she could and if it meant being alone with someone and giving them some of her time than she would do it.

It seems when you're around, my life is complete.

Azariah was so lost in her thoughts that the sound of another approaching made her jump slightly, before she recognized the familiar scent and voice of her leader, Nina. She quirked her head slightly at the unusual wording, but not for the reason one would expect. She understood what Nina was asking clearly. Her manner of speaking at that moment simply brought memories of Solarra even stronger to her mind. The Master Healer had often spoke oddly, often in riddles. The nuances were strangely comforting, even though they differed.

She gave Nina a quick lick to the chin as the emerald eyed fae came to sit with her. Her ears and head lowered quickly, despite her smaller size, showing the proper submission to her alpha. Then she looked forward again, gazing fondly at the clear spring water. It was so cool and refreshing. She remembered wanting to jump in and cleanse all her sorrows away and the thought still appealed, but with Nina here she felt a bit more self-conscious.

She glanced back at Nina briefly and gave the slightest shrug of her pale shoulders saying, "I guess that I'm just thinking a bit too much on the past today. I'm sorry for leaving the Thickets.... but... I guess that I just needed some clarity." Then she realized that her words might be construed as she was unhappy, which was far from the case! "Don't misunderstand, please, my Lady! I love the Woodlands and have no thought of leaving!" Her words came out quickly, filled with nervousness. However, after a moment, she tried to relax and convey what was truly on her mind. What was so wrong with her that they should shun her and wish her dead?

With obvious hesitance she murmured, "Why didn't my old pack want me?" Of course, this would likely make little sense to Nina, who didn't have the whole story. She didn't want to go into any detail at that moment. What if Nina was just being friendly? She probably didn't want to hear her sad story about being unwanted...

Destiny leads and I follow...for I am Destiny's Child

It did not seem as though the woman anticipated her presence and Nina saw the small flinch that Azariah gave when she spoke. Sighing softly, she listened to what Azariah had to say, a small smile appearing on her face when the young woman began to be nervous with her words. Nina understood what she was saying and did not mind the way she was speaking to her. The question that was given to Nina caused her to frown and her brows to crease in concern as she tilted her head slightly to the left so that she could see Azariah better. She did not know much of the young girls past, but if it brought up such a question as this, she would have to answer it to the best of her abilities, "I don’t know my dear…you are a wonderful wolf. Beautiful, talented…intelligent. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their family."

She was silent then, looking around the territory she had known as home for so long, before she looked back to the young healer, her single emerald eye burning with the familiar fire she would always get when surrounded by her old home. Standing up quickly, she spoke to Azariah in soft tones, "You know, before Secret Woodlands, I lived up here. I wish to show something to your eyes." She then moved towards where the pack den use to be, making sure that Azariah was keeping up with her. Eventually, they got there and Nina scaled up the rocky domain of where she had slept and saved many lives within the pack. She sat down on the rocky outcrop, waiting for Azariah to sit down before she continued, "I lived here with my alphas. I cared for their young and saved one of them once….and then one day they told us all that they were leaving. At first I blamed it on myself for not being there enough and thinking they hated me, but then I realized…they needed it for themselves. We weren’t the problem…it was them. They didn’t know what to do with their lives so they left us. I still love them with everything within me…but I still miss them, so much. And that will never go away." She then finished her story, trying to get the message across to the Healer. She was definitely not the problem in whatever situation that she was talking about, Nina just hoped that she realized this.

It seems when you're around, my life is complete.