He had blood all over him, clotted scarlet that stained him like blame. No matter how hard he tried, he did not feel clean. He ran his tongue over his slender, frail foreleg and the blood did not go away. He ran his tongue over his lips, and the blood was still there. He just knew it, he could taste it. There was a madness to this taste, a warm satisfaction that was all too good and all too heathen. The vermillion elixir tasted all too much like a wonderful tonic, and all too much like a poison. Toxic fear polluted his veins, choked him, confused him, and sickened him. There was so much blood, not enough blood, too much blood; he couldn't decide.
Hunger had driven him to this. A hunger in his stomach and a hunger in his soul had robbed him of his senses. Hidden in the dark cloak of night, he felt his paws itch and stomach churn. He chased after his nose as it ran away into the night, feeling all the while like he was chasing a nightmare. He chased after his hunger and stumbled across a lame rabbit. It was a gift, a pitiful gift from... Or was it a gift at all? Was there anyone to give gifts to him, anymore? At any rate, there had been this scrap of tawny fur lying in the bracken, writhing and ferocious. The sight of something so lively teetering on the brink of death galled him. At the same time, though, he found it very tempting. After all, he was hungry. He hardly even thought about it.
And now there was blood all over him. In desperation, he suddenly bit down. His teeth sank down into his skin, and suddenly there was more blood. He wept with something between fury and fear, and stared down at himself, wondering at what he was, what he had done. He had murdered, he had slaughtered. He drank from another creature's life, and now there was a river, rather like his own life, flowing out of his leg. He was very tempted to devour his howl leg suddenly, to swallow his whole self up and not have to worry about anything. He was a creature, not a wolf and not a soul, driven by delirium, caught in a mental tempest. Had God deserted him because he was a wolf, or was it because he was a woilf that he had deserted God? Was he damned or was he alone?
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