Jasper Rocks I'm gonna pick up the pieces

<blockquote><i>Late Morning; Overcast — Current Temperature: 45° F/7° C</i>

It was funny how his feet somehow led him here, even through the thick fog that smothered the air and blanketed the ground. To the <a href='http://dontheunsane.deviantart.com/art/Forest-Rocks-143904518' target='_blank'>boulders where Prosper and Theodore had been laid to rest</a>. He was sure, however, that the idea of the new litter, <i>his and Jaysyek's</i> upcoming children, had signaled his path to turn and deviate from the territory borders. As he faced the river, both welcoming and chiding its appearance before him, he gradually turned to fully glance where the bodies of his sons had been laid to rest. Quietly he approached the site, the corners of his mouth twitching downward as he lowered his ears.

Only now did he realize that while he had had some time to properly grieve them, he was gravely afraid of the months to come... he was afraid for the safety of his sons (and/or daughters) and how kind time would be to them, to the pack. Suppose another streak of wanderlust struck him (or one of the pups)? Suppose he broke Jaysyek's hea-- <i>No.</i> Borden was quick to shake his head. He did not even want to think of it. He had promised to Jaysyek, to Kade, to the pack, to himself, that he would be better. That he would be there for his family. No matter what. Kade had been and <i>was</i> right; they needed him.

<b>"I miss you guys,"</b> he whispered, the words barely above the sound of the breath it took to form them. <b>"I hope you're having a blast wherever you are."</b> A smile tried to break through the pained grimace that had formed on his face but his expression mellowed once more. Sinking to his haunches he settled onto the forest floor, casting his gaze to the steadily flowing stream to think for a while before taking up his patrol again.</blockquote>

(This post was last modified: Apr 29, 2012, 05:14 AM by Borden.)

Well, what do you want from me?

<3 could not resist.

<blockquote>She did not often go to the marker's that would forever keep her sons. She had not been in awhile, knowing quite well how much sadness it brought her. How helpless it all made her feel. Right now seemed to be the only time she could protect her children, for if she was safe they were too. It was a cruel thought, doing little to help her. She could no longer avoid seeing Borden, and when his fresh path followed the water, winding this way there was no trace of hesitation in her stride. They had not come here together, and the outcome of several things were merely whispers of ideas. Elettra gone, she had only hoped Borden and Kade would come to some kind of truce. She felt guilty for placing a title on either. Much like with Vlar. When it came down to it she knew it had to be done. Somehow knowing Kade, and how selfless she had only held onto the idea they wouldn't possible tear each other into bits.

Borden's scent proved that now, and it may bother her where Kade was. It was to Borden she was tied too, and learned no matter what that's the way it would always be. Quietly she does not exactly try to hide the fact she has followed him. She waits back, giving him a private moment where her ears catch his voice, but know nothing of the words said in the hushed tone. If anything she wanted to move to him in the moment, and speak her own soothing tones. Did not seem right to disturb him, maybe he was saying another goodbye. It was not until he sat, glancing back, possibly seeing her did she move. How could she not? Her tail swayed at her hocks, and a sad smile was painted on her face. She most eagerly closed the space that had them a part. She was hell bent nothing would come between them.

Carefully, she rubs her nose against his cheek aware her eyes might be tinted with her sorrow. Being here, seeing him, and feeling the tiny stirrings against her ribs. She could not deny she was happy. She was not certain if she should let herself speak, her tongue lashed against his cheek and she sat down nestling herself closer to him. She'd partially hide her nose in the dark points of his fur, breathing in his scent as if to make sure he was still real. </blockquote>

<3

<blockquote>Borden had caught the sight of a white figure just out of the corner of his eye; her scent alone was quick to distinguish her. He blinked a few times, trembling slightly as she made contact with him. His nose twitched and he swallowed slowly. Nothing physically hurt for once, aside from the customary dull pinching sensation in his wrist, and the wounds from his spars had fully healed by now. He shivered from the realization that the past, where his sons' memories had dwelled, was now one chapter behind him. There was no more guilt or sorrow or pain... Prosper Lyall and Theodore Alexander Dieudonné Lyall were simply <i>gone</i>.

He drew a deep breath and exhaled in a weary sigh as Jaysyek placed a 'kiss' to his face and nestled herself against his fur. For several moments he did not dare to break the silence. All that mattered was that the space between them had lessened until the fibers of their pelts melded together. Ashen white to mottled browns and grays. Once five minutes had just about passed, he gazed down at the white lady against him. The sight of her nose buried into the sparse fur that made up his spring coat made one side of his mouth lift in half a smile. <b>"Well, hello,"</b> his voice burbled, a little louder than it had been when he 'addressed the boys.' He pressed his lips to her forehead, the small touch of his tongue to her brow planting a small token of thanks.

His pale eyes, rendered a true light olive green from the verdant grasses and trees around them, sought her mismatched irises. <b>"Didn't expect to see you 'ere... you all right, love?"</b> He was certain the part of the woods he had traversed had been well-marked and that, somewhere through the fog Raigo, Kade, and the rest of the pack were right now minding the part of the forest he had yet to reach. There wasn't a reason he could think of at the moment for Jaysyek to be anything worse than "all right," but he still just had to ask. Just to be sure...</blockquote>

Well, what do you want from me?

<blockquote>His sigh collected in her ears, sounding like he was in need of rest rather than exasperated. She still did not speak. The silence this time around did not bother her as it might have. It was a bittersweet kinda quiet, remembering where they were, and those little things to be spoken still neatly tucked away. It was a brief passing of time she could live in his company, enjoying it without thinking too much of everything else. These were her favorite times when there was just them for some silent seconds. She leaned against him, resting, almost unaware of everything.

Eyes flashed opened, hearing his short greeting. She smiled back, her face pulled from his shoulder to face his, and to accept his own affectionate touch. She then held onto his gaze with her own trying to read what the pale green swirls might say. She did not have to guess to greatly. <b>"I am,"</b> she was quick to respond not baring the thought of causing him any more anxiety. <b>"I just caught your trail, and had to follow,"</b> she would further add, hoping this might answer his own questions. She had had no intention to come this way when she had awoken, but it had only seemed right with him here. She had desperately wanted to see him, to see how he was holding out. The fact they had not come here together, bothered her. That feeling was gone now.

<b>"Are you, Bo?"</b> She asked, with slightly raised brows. If it was his job to watch out for her, then it was hers to do the same for him. She would not see any immediate wrong, when she continued softly gazing at him. She guessed he'd come here with purpose to visit, and wondered what had sparked the idea. This answer she did not want to merely guess. She did not really want to bring up any delicate subject. Sometimes no matter how strong they seemed after all the storms they'd made it through, they were no less fragile in her mind. A short release of breath, much like a sigh escaping with some of her anxiety she soon dare speak. <b>"I miss <i>them</i>,"</b> she quietly states. Meaning not only Prosper and Theodore, but Trisden and Hocus. <b>"I only hope the ones that come home will...some day."</b></blockquote>

(This post was last modified: Apr 28, 2012, 02:13 PM by Jaysyek.)

<blockquote>Her answer was swift and he acknowledged that she was well with a dip of his muzzle. The smile on her face was enough to fully rouse and free him from the sadness that had started to creep up within him. She had followed him. It had been as simple as that. The plume-like tail at his back stirred then continued to lay limp on the smooth pebbles that made up the river bank.

<i>"Are you, Bo?"</i> she queried. <b>"Mmhmm,"</b> he replied with a two-noted hum. <b>"Jus' fine. Wanted to think for a lil' while, really. Sort things out."</b> He paused and for a moment the silence washed over them. <b>"I'm glad you're here though,"</b> he added warmly, still not withdrawing his gaze from hers. Jaysyek sighed and he quickly looked her over as if to double-check that nothing was physically ailing her. It was only when she revealed that she had missed <i>them</i> did he only begin to understand, especially when she hinted at her worries for the two remaining pups of their bloodline.

The realization that Trisden and Hocus had stolen away from Grizzly Hollow had been slow, but as soon as he grasped that they might not be coming back or had been drawn away by the temptations of exploring, he was dutifully attempting to rule out the idea that they had been avoiding him. The fact that the two of them might have abandoned him as their father had hit him hard, but for Jaysyek's sake, he did his best to remain in the confines of her markers and simply hope they were fine on their own (they had each other after all, right?). He - and the pack - would not stand if he gave into the impulse to personally track them down. Rather than announcing his findings, he was certain Jaysyek had picked up on their disappearances much faster than he had and kept quiet. The last thing he wanted to do was to give her something more to worry about.

<b>"I do, too,"</b> he admitted. <b>"I always have."</b> His brows rose quietly and he glanced out to the foggy bank on the opposite side of the stream. <b>"Goodness knows h-how... how much I've wanted to put everything r-right with them,"</b> he sputtered, a chill shaking him for a second before he recovered himself. <b>"And how much I've wanted to tell them that I love them. More than anything else on this earth, but, perhaps... it wasn't meant to be... after all this time."</b> <i>I wish things had been... better.</i> He shook his head to whisk away what had gone unsaid, looking back to her in search of some sort of assurance. <b>"I'm scared, Jayse,"</b> he continued. <b>"For Trisden and Hocus... for Arlette, should she choose to leave home. For the... new additions to our family. I'm scared I might... <i>disappear</i> again."</b> A whimper interwove itself with his next words, <b>"I love you. You... You know that right? Heaven help me if I dare separate myself from you again. I won't... I won't survive."</b></blockquote>

Well, what do you want from me?

<blockquote>His thoughts seemed else where, all over even by the tones of his voice and choosings of his words. She did not waver, she hung close to him in support and comfort for both their sakes. Her eyes were holding to his, and she had a want to relieve his pain. On the thought she had not disturbed her, put a trace of a smile on her lips. The smile would not quite have life, it would flicker to a stand still with all the weight of her world crushing onto her shoulders.

She had looked for Trisden and Hocus. Even a clue where they would have gone. The message was clear, they had gone again. Part of her didn't blame them. She had often wanted to escape in her own ways, and at their age it wasn't completely out of the ordinary. She kept the idea they'd return again. What else did she have to cling to? The next litter would keep her cautious, and giving more reason to live. It was sadness and guilt she needed to escape. The quiet seems right as if in humble respect of everything that has passed, and for their children.

A whimper of sorts hums presses in her throat. This is where she would gladly give him all the memories, and time he missed. Speaking about things of the past brought back a new fresh strike of pain. With him she seemed she could bare it again, and pulled herself closer to him. At the same time her ears drawn to his voice when he began to explain the fears of his own heart. She wasn't sure what was more heartbreaking, hearing this, knowing it, or how hopeless he was. <b>"Oh love, forever is a long time...more so when you think you did wrong and never believe to make it right,"</b> she was talking about when he had left, and now. She had wanted things between the family mended, but it was up to them. <b>"I'm sure they'll be back....<i>one day.</i>"</b> Her whole heart was almost in those words, because she really did. She reaches to touch the tip of her nose to his. She never once stopped listening, she was hanging on every word. <i>My poor Borden.</i> All these months he'd suffered alone, how he was still suffering. She would not let it crumble him to an end.

Her eyes became dampened, and she had to take a breath to keep back a sob. <b>"I know you love me without a doubt,"</b> she began keeping her bright eyes glued to his, <b>"and I'm scared too. I think can we do this again? What will happen to <i>these</i> pups...what will happen to us?</b> She tried to clear her dry throat. She drew comfort from the fact he couldn't live without her, because if he was no more...if she was alone again..she would refuse to go one without him. <b>"I know I could <i>not</i> do that again...never. I'd refuse to live any more. So..this time...<i>please don't go...without me.</i>"</b></blockquote>

<blockquote>Her words, though few, were comforting and it provided him several degrees of comfort. She confided that they would return, gently met his nose with her own, and confirmed that she knew he loved her. But, she, too, was scared. His ears lowered upon hearing the phrase but his brows lifted slightly as she also said that they could do it all - reign together, looks after a pack with one another, and raise their family - again. One thing was certain though and it stood out clearly in his mind: if he left Grizzly Hollow ground, if he did not come back, she would not soldier on without him... He would have to be sure to take her with him or risk having Kade and the other wolves he had betrayed on his trail. <b>"Of course."</b>

A ragged breath fluttered its way into his lungs and he affectionately pressed his temple to hers, closing his eyes. After a sigh escaped his lips, he stared down to Jaysyek's paws. <b>"Everything will be all right... right?"</b> he asked, quietly. A meek smile managed to play briefly on the slim line that formed his lips. <i>Enough about his worries and the paths he had taken to hell and back...</i> <b>"Is there anything I can do for you today?"</b> His ears rose up to their normal places atop his skull as he withdrew from her just enough to fully see her face. <b>"Could I hunt down something specific for you later, maybe?"</b></blockquote>

Well, what do you want from me?

Sorry for making you wait. <3

<blockquote>Assured by his answer, she brushed her cheek against his. It was something else that had frequently become the opening of her nightmares, making her fear what would come. There was nothing that would be left of her ,she presumed, if that past repeated itself. It was settled no matter what they'd do it all together, and she would try not to await the day or expect it to happen. They could live a few years without sorrow for all these could they not? She could only hope as they aged it would not take so much to live, and that these pups they could watch grow. Even pass on their legacy. For now she'd try, very hard, to live in the moment. It was easier that way. Something not extremely possible for Jayse.

She listened to the quiet thrumming of his heart, and deep breathing when he drew closer to her. She had greatly missed the simple, yet enormous comfort drawn in close contact from him. It had always been that way, why she had not been great at seperating herself from him. She needed him too much. She quietly stirred from her serene thoughts, and nudged his cheek. <b>"I hope so, I'm afraid will have just as many to look after this year. I think with everyone left there should be enough eyes."</b> She would smile, confident in the remaining Hollow wolves this year had to be different. She thoughtfully rested her ears back, and blinked, letting her eyes rest on the ground upon his question. <b>"Well, anything sounds good reallly. Whatever you found I'd have no problems finishing."</b> She softly laughed, and stood up to playfully nip the side of his cheek. The motion sent a lot of wiggles in her stomach, and she laughed further. They would surely be very busy this summer.</blockquote>

<i>No prob'. <3 Been lurking quite a bit lately. Patiently, too, I might add. 8)</i>

<blockquote>To hear her say that she <i>hoped</i> they would be all right was enough to pacify his nerves that were dangerously close to completely unravelling. The hint of a smile lifted his features just enough for one to register his relief and he returned her small grin much more confidently after feeling her playful nip and hearing a peal of her laughter. He slowly stood up beside her and nuzzled the bridge of his muzzle to her shoulder. <b>"Sounds... good,"</b> his voice, though emboldened by her assurance, still came slowly but he was quick to turn around. After quietly grazing his tongue to her chin, he started his departure into the fog. <b>"I'll see you in a bit then, Love. See if I can get you and those lil' ones a good lunch."</b> He wagged his black-tipped tail as he glanced over his shoulder at Jaysyek, woofing softly at her before vanishing into the forest.</blockquote>

Well, what do you want from me?

<blockquote>She clung...no she firmly grasped onto this feeling of happiness forcing it to remain, and stay with her. She'd been denied a lot of happy days, and placed with too many unpleasant ones not to have this <i>one</i>. She leaned against his sturdy structure, taking in a swift breath of his scent to trap it into her lungs Slowly she let her weight fall back to anticipate his next move.

It was away from her, but her happy features did not fall. He wanted to get her something now, and she would not ask him to stay simply to stay. He'd be back, something she had to simply say to herself in reassurance. <b>"Okay, I'll eagerly await your return,"</b> and her tail smoothly wrapped around her haunches, and she had to keep her muscles from moving to follow when the foliage ate up the last of his tail and paws. She felt it was weak to continue to worry she would not see him again. She emitted a sigh of sorts, and decided to walk a little closer to the pool where she'd roll onto her side, her head up to listen for him.. and anything else that may be out and about in the forest.</blockquote>

(This post was last modified: May 20, 2012, 05:41 PM by Jaysyek.)