She felt pained to the heart. Her own woes were nothing against what had transpired in Grizzly Hollow over the past year, and she beat herself mentally for not stopping by sooner, when their scout had stopped visiting the Woodlands. She should have known it would be serious, for Merlin not to make any contact for so long, but she’d been caught up in her own conditions, too exhausted to think beyond her own borders. Now she was ashamed. Walking through the cedarwood, admiring the different landscape that these wolves knew as home, Aideen wondered when she’d grown so blind. She prided herself on caring for others, it was why she had become a healer, jumping at the opportuniry to aid others in need. But her eyes had turned more and more inwards lately, ever since she took over leadership in fact. She no longer saught to help wherever she could, but worried about her pack, and them alone. To the point where she had missed the pain of others, even this close by. Now she went in search of her friend, though she had taken her time gathering herself for it, harrowed by guild annd afraid of what she might find; Another friend I’ve let down..! But she was determined to not let this one down again. Finding his scent within the Hollow, she approached with a soft call: ”Merlin?” Her own feelings would have to be pushed aside for now, her friend was in pain. Word Count: 247 Thoughts "Speech" |
It occurred to Veho at some point that he really should tend to his guest. Mourning the death of his daughter or not, he couldn’t just ignore the responsibilities of an alpha forever – especially when the wolf who’d arrived was a friend. The excuses were limited, and quickly running out. Still, the grey wolf didn’t exactly hurry as he picked his way through the cedar forest, careful to avoid heading in the direction where he knew Ophelia rested.
The path brought him to Aideen anyways, as if the Ancestors had set his wandering feet on this path. It was strange, the way that worked. As if a cessation of effort on his part actually allowed him to finally do the right thing. Something to reflect on later, at any rate, and he stepped forward, bowing his head in greeting to his old friend.
“Aideen. It is good to see you.” That part was true, at least – to see a friendly face from the outside world. Maybe a bit of change was good for him, even if he’d just had a sabbatical. His tail gave a single wag before he sat, motioning for the woman to do the same. “What brings you to Grizzly Hollow?”
Please, don’t let it be more bad news…
She’d expected him to be affected by what had happened, worn both physically and mentally by his loss, and she had tried to prepare herself. But you could never really prepare for seeing someone you cared about in such a state, no amount of imagination could do it justice. His shoulders sagged, dark lines visible on his face, under the silver fur that jutted out in matted lumps all over his frame. She wanted to throw herself at him, wrap all of her petite figure around him and comfort his hurt. But this was no puppy with a boo-boo that she could kiss all better, she couldn’t even begin to imagine the loss he had suffered, or the hurt he was feeling. And yet, he greeted her with perfect civility, a shadow of the wolf she knew, but a no less polite or disciplined one. She smiled shakily, following his silent invitation to sit down across from him; Overpowering the urge to move closer for the time being. But his question made heat rush to her face, her kind expression faltering. She struggled for several moments with what to say, not wanting to throw her own, much smaller, troubles in the face of her grieving friend. “You too, it has been too long since we last spoke,” she finally settled for, and the words were honest enough, even if they omitted her true motivations for finally making the visit. “I missed my friend. I was worried what might have happened here since Crystal stopped coming to the Woodlands.” Her voice grew quieter as she spoke, eyes wide and blank when she continued: “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner… So, so sorry.” She ached for him, body unconsciously leaning towards him, wishing so desperately that there was something she could do to ease his pain. Word Count: 304 Thoughts "Speech" |
Oh. Just a friend visiting a friend.
When was the last time he had just a friend? It caused Veho to pause for a moment – everyone he associated was family or packmate or just mate first, and he’d become so used to it that the notion a wolf might want to stop in and check on their friend was almost foreign to him. Almost. Because he used to do that, once. He was a better friend, once. There were a lot of things that went by the wayside to becoming a good leader, Veho was realizing, and perhaps his manners were just some of those many things.
He allowed Aideen close as she drifted, as if it were gravity. The large male sat, and if the other alpha was interested in a more physical contact, she was welcome to it – even if the Grizzly Hollow leader himself did not seek it out himself.
“Do not be sorry. You could not have known. None of us… None of us knew. Had any idea.” The words grew thick in his throat, leaving his mouth dry. The father swallowed hard, eyes stinging at the fresh memory of his poor daughter, battered and ragged as she drew her last breaths. How many times he thought to himself, what could he have done that morning? That week? Sometime during Ophelia’s short life, to prevent such a terrible fate? “It is…confusing, though. To have so much healing knowledge…and I could not save my own daughter. I wonder how far I have strayed from the Ancestors’ path.”
He looked so tired, like he’d aged a lifetime since they last met. The weight that had fallen on his shoulders was too great for any parent to bear, and hearing the lurch in his voice was close to making her cry. But the small wolfess closed her eyes, breathing deeply to hold back the tears, there was a limit to the helpfulness of empathy; Her crying on his shoulder was about the last thing he needed right now. Seeing the pain on his face though, she had to give in to the lesser urge, leaning the last bit forwards to touch her head against his neck, muzzle folding over a silver-grey shoulder in a comforting embrace. “I’m sorry anyway,” she whispered against his back, pressing into him for a moment before pulling back to look up at his face. She knew there was nothing she could say or do to make it all better, as much as she wished to do so. The only true balm for his grief was time. Meanwhile, the best she could do was offer an ear to his thoughts and support him to her best ability. This was why, hearing his words of failure, she held back the first impulse to deny such a thing. Praise would do no good, even if every word of it was true. Instead she tilted her head slightly, leaning further back to look up into his eyes. “Some wounds cannot be healed,” she began, citing a lesson that no doubt the other medic knew just as well as her, but it didn’t hurt to be repeated. Then she sighed, turning briefly from him to look into the forest, brows lightly furrowed. Aideen had been raised to believe in realities, hard truths and fact. She’d only had brief encounters with religion since, but after a life of change and loss, she couldn’t remain so pragmatic about the whole affair. Moreover, she’d learned the importance belief played to others, how their faith could lift them up in their darkest times; Or weigh them further down..! She shook her head, looking back up at her friend with a sad smile; “Are you so sure you have? That you aren’t still on the trail they laid out?” She might not be particularly spiritual herself, but far be it from her to challenge other wolves’ faith. Consoling him meant meeting on his premises, and following wherever his thoughts let. Word Count: 410 Thoughts "Speech" |
“I am not sure of anything anymore.”
The thought did give him pause, and Veho hummed under his breath. His whiskers prickled. He rolled the thought around in his mind, sighing softly as he considered the weight of it. What if this was still the plan? Could they really be so cruel as to plan out Ophelia’s death like that? While it was true that all wolves had to die at some point, surely such young wolves deserved more…
Ophelia deserved more. Neha deserved more.
But he knew, somewhere, on some level, deep down in his dark heart, that it was his selfish wants and needs speaking. Ophelia and Neha did not feel pain, not anymore – they were beyond this life. They were one with the Ancestors now, and that was likely far better than anything they experienced here. It was he who missed them terribly, who had to suffer the hurt off loss.
Veho shuffled slightly, moving closer to Aideen. He started to lean, if only a little. It felt nice to have a friend nearby. It was different with Rook, and the others of Grizzly Hollow – everything they saw was tinged by the traumatic loss. “I think I might want to leave this place. So much has happened. It feels cursed. And I had never intended to stop…stop healing. But leadership…” He sighed, shaking his head. “You understand, don’t you?”