Sanguine Cove Time wears on like the tide

For @Aquene

Having the children gone was like a small gasp of fresh air. He felt guilty thinking it, but his own litter had turned out to be quite the little hellions and Oksana's wayward. at least they were all back now, returned mostly healthy and with a somewhat new respect for the dangers of the mountain. It seemed strange to immediately send them out again. At least @Chan had gone with them, to help the Backwater with the sudden flood of almost-yearlings they were facing. It comforted the leader to know his brother and nephew were looking out for their future.

With more time to spend to themselves, Nash decided it was time to have a very important conversation with his wife. He could feel it itching under his fur, smell it in the air. The time was nigh; the women would be going into heat very soon, and Nash wanted them to have a plan before hormones got in the way.

He wandered toward the medicine den, where he suspected his wife would be, and let out a gentle, fond chuff to get her attention.

She had been withdrawn all the same, just trying to breathe and live her life, but it certainly showed to others. She worried constantly, found trouble sleeping and when she wasn’t lethargic, she found herself jumpy and almost reactive. The only one that could soothe her was Nash, but even that had been growing something more complicated.

Their children brought her some peace, though she found her mind lingering back to Peyter, wondering how he would have gotten along with his younger siblings… if Aleister was watching over him now, if there was any of that spiritual longevity after death she had thought that she believed in.

She had been absentmindedly sorting through the stores for what felt like the hundredth time when Nash’s chuff caught her attention, her eyes wandering for a moment towards the mouth of it when her body began to react and she found herself floating in his direction, gently nuzzling against the nape of his neck in silent greeting.

Aquene Slayer

(This post was last modified: Feb 21, 2023, 02:06 AM by Aquene.)

He thought sometimes that she might be getting better - at least when he was around. He didn't know what she was like when he wasn't by her side, of course, beyond the complains of his youngest daughter about not being the center of attention. He was trying so hard to stamp that out, but seemed to be failing at that, too.

Nash smiled as his wife drifted to his side and returned her nuzzle, murmuring an affectionate hello before standing back to look at her. "Walk with me?" he asked, gesturing toward the lake. He wanted to take her around the shores, perhaps even beyond their borders, but stay somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. But somewhere they wouldn't be interrupted.

She found herself trying to force a soft smile onto her features, to show she was happy to see him. She was, it was just that she’d found herself having a hard time showing it on her features. The request was met with a soft nod in turn, leaning her body against his for a moment before she fell into step beside him.

”How have you been?” She asked softly, though in that moment she felt like something of an awful mate for even having to ask, for not instinctively knowing. It somehow managed to make the mental break worse. ”It feels like we hardly get time to ourselves anymore.” Idle talk, but she needed to fill the silence with something.

Aquene Slayer

(This post was last modified: Feb 21, 2023, 02:05 AM by Aquene.)

To his delight, as it was always, Aquene agreed and fell into step beside him. If her smile was forced he politely did not say, only waited for her to start conversation - which she did. "I'll admit having the children gone for a time is a welcome break," he said. "I feel like I can relax a little more. Especially now that none of them are missing." And Woya's son had returned. Things seemed to be taking a turn for the better, finally.

He glanced over at his wife. The questions he needed to ask, the conversation they needed to have, danced in his mouth, but how to begin? He didn't want to fracture her - not after something had already made her fall back into her depression just when she seemed to be getting better before. A little pleasantry first wouldn't hurt. "How has your day been, my love?"

Aquene had tried to block Chan’s words out of her mind, convince herself that they weren’t true. A logical part of her brain had tried to convince her that he was just deflecting his own problems onto her, but none of it stuck… it had caused her to slip and slide back down that hill. “I imagine.” She stated, a hint of sympathy in her voice, knowing that it was rough to constantly worry. At least it was some kind of expression, some kind of outlet despite her words being soft and almost timid.

It was almost reminiscent of when she first arrived at the Cove.

He asked about her day and she offered a shrug. “It was pretty… okay…” She had paused for a moment as if she was searching for the right word. “I went through the herbs and pulled out the ones that are too old to be effective, in case any of the pups come back sick.” Altitude changes could do weird things to an immune system.

Aquene Slayer

Nash tried not to grimace when it took his beloved a moment to answer, and how she paused before saying 'okay.' He wished there was more he could do for her, but if she didn't want to let him in yet...

She offered a good distraction in her explanation of her day's activities and a small smile played at the leader's lips. This time last year he'd been helping her refill the herb cache, even travelling down the mountain to trade with Clover. "That's good," he said. "If you need help gathering fresh ones, you know I'm always happy to help." Then again, last year he hadn't had as many duties as he did now. Even so, he would always make time for his wife. Always.

And now he supposed he couldn't delay any longer. Or, shouldn't. "Beloved..." he began, trying to think of the best way to phrase it. "It will be spring soon," he decided on, leaving the implication hanging. "It's been a hard year... What are your thoughts?" thoughts on children, on adding to their family, on her own mental state maybe. Her thoughts.

She would find a soft smile at his offer, nodding with a soft hum. “I will have to take you up on that… though some do not grow on the mountains… it might require a trip to the Backwater.” Perhaps even an opportunity to see her oldest, to feel the warm embrace of her daughter for a moment in the hopes that it might set her head straight.

And then, there was a topic she had been avoiding for multiple reasons… Chan’s words echoing in her head, her past failings as a parent… all of the above.

Children. She was not certain she deserved to have more, or that she should… though in that moment she knew such thoughts were intrusive… that she did all she could for them and yet somehow they ended up wild or grew apart from her… she did not know what to make of it. A hard yeah… she paused for a moment, bringing her gaze over to him in a thoughtful manner, a hint of life in her eyes.

“Are we certain we can handle another litter like our last?” A soft attempt at a joke lingering, knowing how much hell their children could raise if left unsupervised. “What are your thoughts?” She would deflect instead.

Aquene Slayer

(This post was last modified: Mar 06, 2023, 04:59 AM by Aquene.)