She stayed – his rushed words had elicited a silent response from her, and as her attention fixated upon him – silver eyes flashing across his ivory features, he found himself lost for a moment at what to say. “My old pack killed my ex-mate’s family and took her home with them.. and then I took her as my mate?” It was not such a black and white picture – he had truly cared for Desdemona, and the rivalry between the two packs had been the breaking point of the attack.. but from Demi’s point of view, how could he have been anything but a monster?
“We have a dark history,” he began, watching her as she sat down, likely fatigued by the extra life she now carried. “Our packs were rivals, and after a few small battles back and forth, my father lead our pack on a raid against theirs, as we killed most of them – I believe it was me that took Desdemona’s own father’s life. My family took her back with us – she begged for it, and at the time I had seen it as complete defeat..” He paused, giving his muzzle a quick shake. “I fell for her. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for her, and I guess in my blindness, I didn’t realize that she was holding on to everything we had taken from her. How could she not? So when she bore our pups – what I thought to be our pups.. I caught her in the passionate embrace of my best friend a month later and it all fell in to place. Why the pups had black pelts – not white, like ours.” He continued on, his heart shifting uncomfortably in his chest. Why now, was it so important for Elettra to know of his previous life when they were no longer tied to one another at all?
“So I left. And I came here. And then there was you. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man to step in and raise another man’s children. The wounds were still too fresh.. But I wanted you to know.” There was another pause as he lifted himself higher then, his eyes fixating upon her pretty features. “You dodged a bullet with me, El,” he murmured, a small but embittered smile pulling at his lips.
She shifts awkwardly, the swelling of her round tummy brushing the earth. "If I had known... If you had told me, before hand..." She spoke, taking a deep breath but overwise remaining in her placement. Her eyes met his own, a weak small followed by his. She had never cheated on him, had never broken his trust the way his ex-mate had and yet, having been so broken she could not blame him for not taking the news well even if she was not his to begin with. "I wasn't ready, you know..." She admits then, turning her gaze away briefly, back towards the West where she belonged. "To let myself become vulnerable, to trust. Choosing you meant something perminent, something real that I wasnt ready for." And there, without mentioning her horrible past that had made her so afraid, so paranoid and untrusting, she told him her reasoning for not seeking him out in the first place, seeing as he had not sought her out ether, until it was too late.
His eyes regarded her quietly – his past held some of his darkest secrets. Secrets he had kept close to his heart, in fear that those he cared more for than anything would hold it against him. Elettra did no such thing – it was with surprise that he heard her speak.. her desire for him having told her prior to now. Had he not been so afraid to relinquish this part of his past, perhaps his life would be very different now. Would they have had their own children, the year after? Would he have gained the crown of leader for Willow Ridge and kept it? It was impossible to regret his life the way it had played out – if not for his paths previously chosen, his children would not have existed. That was a world he could never envision.
“I will always care for you, El,” he spoke then. She was pregnant once more – she no doubt held a mate now, and they were likely content. He could only hope they were happier than himself and Borlla. The silence that distanced the two was becoming harder to bridge.. and he was not sure it would be possible, even with children on the way.
It was with these words that he drew himself up. Allies, now, he could only love her from a distance. It was even possible they would never see each other again. But the time was passing, and he would need to return to the side of his pregnant mate.. the one who did bear his children.
He watched her go -- the gentle sway of a pregnant she-wolf,, and yet she glowed. He wondered quietly who the father was.. who it was that had finally tamed Elettra's heart to trust, if even a tiny bit. He offered no more words, simply a nod before she had turned to leave. Her swarthy form moved away from him, though he stayed rooted in the spot -- the what if's of life plaguing at him in that stolen moment. Only until she was no more than a small spot in the distance did the male turn, feeling a flood of guilt as he made his way back to his own family and mate.