Calanthe found herself wandering beyond the borders of Round Stone Crest again, the second or third time since she had joined her pack. The last time had been to escort Draven to Bowed Maple Bend; the time before that, she had gone out on her own to familiarize herself with the lands she might one day scour as the pack's Hunter. This excursion, though, wasn't for the sake of duty or soothing the wounds of a pack mate. This time she wandered on her own accord, seeking out somewhere she could be separated from the gloom that lingered over her home territory.
She didn't begrudge anyone their grieving, but being surrounded by so much of it made hers even greater. She knew very little she could do to assuage any of her pack mates, and the knowledge that there wasn't really much to be done made her feel more useless than she had when she was first welcomed into the pack. Hunting was a good way to distract herself, but she didn't dare overhunt within the pack's territory, and she could only entertain herself for so long with squirrels and rabbits and birds before she needed something else to do. Perhaps a few hours or so so herself would prove beneficial in the long run.
She didn't howl before she left the territory - she didn't expect to be gone past sundown, and in any event she didn't want to worry anyone or have to field any questions about where she was going and why. Part of her recognized that this excursion required her to shirk her duties for a day, and yet she shrank from telling anyone the honest truth about why she felt doing so was necessary. How could she cover up her motivation when it was a relief from so much pain that called her away from her pack mates? And spirits forbid if she had to explain herself to @Raela or Draven or @Gent; she couldn't bear even to imagine how they would look if she broke down and told them the truth - and she knew she couldn't lie to the three of them. She didn't have it in her to be so deceitful.
Instead she quietly slipped across the borders and made her way eastward, this time readily tracing her vanished trail from so many months before. It didn't hurt this time to let herself remember the loneliness she had felt when she travelled westward on this road. Neither did her chest feel ready to crack open when her thoughts briefly swayed towards other times she had wandered as a yearling, when Kenelm had always come to bring her home again. Why regret what could not be? Kenelm wasn't coming to find her this time; it was time she let the past lie and move forward.
Before she knew it, she found herself at the western edge of Nightingale Palisade. It was peaceful here, calm and overgrown with lush plant life. Here, she knew, there were plenty of birds and smaller prey creatures, and perhaps a herd of deer might even pass through here. She hadn't come to hunt, though; the quiet here was the sort that one nearly feared to shatter, like a fallen autumn leaf that was still perfectly formed and had colors more brilliant than the most glorious sunrise. Just for the moment, she wanted to stand on one of the lower spaces among the hills and let herself be surrounded by the quiet and the calm. All of the world could wait until the storm inside her heart had calmed itself again.