The king was reeling, consumed by grief he'd never thought to know, punished for the meager strings he had extended from his small heart to connect with those of others. This bridges he had worked so diligently to build these last two years were crumbling all around him, inexplicably and without time for him to even attempt to save them. Death was sweeping in, far too early as it always had been ever since the passing of his father, and cradling those Gent had invested the most in to lull them into eternal sleep. This was what happened, he supposed. This was what had been deserved for being so weak as to think that that forging such
caring relationships was practical, for being arrogant enough to think that he could control every factor that played within the lives of others.
His emotions were fickle these days, fueled by the dual losses of life he had endured, as well as the disintegration of the bonds he'd fought to form with Minka's offspring. Anger often took him, a seething, burning thing that coiled tightly inside of him and constricted his heart with a vice like grip. This was kept inside, as the king refused to let others see this side of him, not since his promise to @
Raela. These were the times that he stole away from the rest, avoiding them to the extent of his abilities, and chasing them off with a silent, frigid baring of his fangs when they persisted. After hearing of Daniel, he knew that this would not be enough. He needed to step out of his own domain, away from the reach of others and seek refuge elsewhere, at least for the day. They would be angry within, perhaps, for taking liberties he refused to extend unto his subordinates. Yet as risky as the venture was, he knew as assuredly as the sky was blue that staying would be even more dangerous.
And so with word to Raela, the only woman whom he now would answer to, he departed, a single destination in mind. The effort had not been conscious, but his paws had taken him there all the same; to the creek, where Daniel had been born. As though the memories could be a barricade against the vicious reality he had found himself trapped within, he allowed imagination to take hold of his mind, hazing his senses as he recalled the boy's birth. Despite @
Titan's absence, it had seemed as a new beginning to Gent, heralding something great for the bonded friends, for their packs, for their futures. It was an outside influence, and he thought himself able to maintain such a thing. Able to protect Danica and Daniel both, even if from such a great distance. How miserably wrong he had been, and the recollection was not allowed to develop too deeply before fury crept in again, pulling the man from the reverie and forcing him once more to face the cold truth he found himself competing with.
There was someone to blame for all of this, and while he doled out a significant portion of the onus unto himself, not even a drop of it would be delivered upon Danica's pristine cream shoulders. She was, and perhaps always would be, innocent within his eyes, a victim to the injustices forced upon her by others. Whether this was his own breed of
love, or simply a necessary
hope for the beast to hold onto, could not be deciphered, and possibly never would be resolved. Especially not when others were so readily available to step up to the guillotines. @
Nina's possessed a very small portion of his anger, though the king knew that he had not enough information about Danica's home life within with thickets to validate this targeting. No, the one who shouldered the brunt of it would be Titan, the boy who had, to Gent's knowledge, been utterly absent his son's entire life. The boy who had abandoned Danica like the other men in her life, the one who had contributed to her instability and who should have been there to help carry the burden of raising a child. Who should have been the one protecting them both.
He had known, hadn't he? Danica had informed him of the seed he'd sown within her womb, and that had been the
last she'd seen of him. A coward, a heathen! The insults raged within his mind, hackles raising as the thoughts rallied against the Thorben heir. The boy had better be dead, it was the only solution to the miserably-ending equation that would satiate the shadow beast. For what else could have kept him away from the life he had created and the woman he'd sworn to always love? Mateship was sacred,
child-rearing was sacred, even a wolf of such a skewed moral compass as Gent's knew these truths as universal. They were not some
amphigory, a fanciful impulse who's consequences could be tossed aside at whim. Yet in his glacial eyes, this was what Titan had done, and forgiveness could never be afforded. Not with Daniel's blood now painted thickly upon the boy's paws.
Once more, as though cyclically, this rage began to ebb. The flames died down, crystals of ice forming within his lungs, traveling into his heart, seizing his chest. A low whine slipped from his muzzle,
blame put aside to once more focus on the
loss that had befallen him. It felt as though every channel he had opened, every pathway that he been so meticulously kept had been shut to him. Hollow Heart Keep and @
Naira, Chulyin, @
Iopah and Secret Woodlands, @
Astraeus, Lugh, Minka, her children,
his children who had chosen to shut him out in the wake of their own grief, Titan, Daniel and Danica... everything had morphed beyond his control as soon as he thought they had been secured, and try as he might he could not stave off inklings of fear, ponderings of
who would be next.
Now every door is closed to me, he thought solemnly.
Another jail. Another key. Another chain. All except Raela, and Danica... if he could ever find her.
His steps halted abruptly, eyes pinching shut as his tail extended horizontally behind him, rigid with frustration. The anger returned, but he bit it back,
sick and tired of this constant fluctuating, of this
pity he felt for himself and his efforts.
"Stop lobbing the blame around, Gent," he uttered under breath, dark lids slipping open to witness the ice particles left behind by his dissipating words.
"You had control. You still have control. Raela isn't going anywhere. You can ensure that, as much."As for Danica... she always seemed to sweep back into his life, green eyes glowing and a smile acting as the dam to all of her many sorrows. As much as he wanted to drop everything and chase after her, track her down and
make her come home with him, keep her guarded like a princess within a brimstone tower, he knew that this was not feasible. All that could be done was to... wait... for...
Gent's head picked, life instantly returning to his pale eyes as they rapidly scanned the air ahead of them.
Danica, his heart whispered fervently, but his mind was hesitant to accept the traces that his senses were picking up. More deep breaths, a few deeper scans, until he could no longer hold himself back. Rocketing forward, he careened through the forest, allowing no obstacle to slow him down as he raced toward Danica's phantasmal presence. His mammoth frame stripped the turning leaves from their perches and broke brittle branches off their soon-to-be hibernating parents. His wide, sturdy paw pads slipped through the bank mud, scrabbling over rocks and litter and
other things. Everything within the forest yielded to him, everything gave way. Nothing would be able to keep her from him this time. Tonight, Danica would be coming home with him,
where she belonged. Tonight, he would forsake the negativity that had so clouded his being these past few days. Tonight, he would rebuild,
take back what was
his and his alone.
A howl was raised into the air, melodic and yearning, but edged with
demand. It beckoned Danica to come to him, to
meet him halfway and haste their reunion. Certainly, she had missed him too. Certainly, she would need him as she faced the tragedy that had befallen them. And certainly, he would be there for her, as rock solid as ever despite the vicious weathering his stony facade had endured. She would come to him, and they would grieve together, and then she would finally come home to him, and all would be well. It was a promise etched deeply within his heart, one that he would not let go of without a fight. Hurtling over the land, everything that had gave away her presence grew stronger,
louder, screaming at him to race harder,
faster. To catch her before she vanished into thin air once again.
Then, the energy changed. His movements became fluid, then ladened, then waterlogged. Simmering to a full stop, she was within his view,
peace laced deeply throughout her being. She appeared as though she had found some sort of
tranquility, and his heart, which had been so feverishly spurring him onward only seconds ago now begged him to stop everything, to take the hourglass of time and break it open, emptying it completely and freezing time indefinitely. And if he could not do that, then to at least please,
please back away, go back to Round Stone Crest, avoid the fatal truth he knew he had to bestow upon her unwitting ears. Neither of these things could be done, his mind told his heart, and both were made cold with the definiteness of the realization. Tail sinking to curl between his hocks, and neck leveling with his fallen shoulders, he watched her approach with pleading eyes. A simper escaped his lungs, issuing into the air almost silently. Those pale, icey eyes had melted into liquid, but not with tears. Never with tears.
"Danica," he murmured, his breath hot upon the cold fall air. His tail lifted ever so slightly, a couple of wags forced into the banner, an effort brought on by impressive willpower. There was an edge of mirth to his appearance, a genuine happiness to see her as well as an effort to stave off what was the come. Why did it have to be him to shatter her world into pieces? The shade king held no qualms about picking them up after someone else's emotionally violent mess, would gather them and hold them close to his heart as he carried them back home with her in tow. He would piece them back together, devotedly and patiently until she was whole again. But could he truly do both? Could he fix it all for her if he was also the one to utter the words that brought everything crashing down around her?
"Nina... said you've been missing," he ventured, and truly he needed to know, what had taken her away from her son? The part of him that wanted to
blame craved to know, but it was concern for his dear friend's well being that rose above all else and took precedence in both his tone and his steady gaze. It didn't matter, ultimately, what she had to say. She could tell him she had chased a butterfly for days without a single thought to Daniel's livelihood and he would find some way, any way to twist this horrific truth and make it not so. Anything to preserve this last remaining tie to his past.
Anything."Where, Danica? Where did you go?"