I paced around for hours on empty
I jumped at the slightest of sounds
And I couldn't stand the person inside me
I turned all the mirrors around
-- Halsey, "Control"
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May 6th; Northern Drooping Willows near edges of Whisper Marsh; Hours before sunrise; Partly Cloudy; 50 ° F, 10 ° C.
He had been without her for a good while now - perhaps little more than a week in human time - and all Skoll Archer could deduce was that a majority of him had lived and breathed because of Morganna. Like a ghost, he drifted about in the night, his footsteps slow and his eyes unfocused as if he were staring ahead at something that really was not there. All that time without her, he had not eaten. He barely slept and he clung hopelessly to the idea that she might awaken him one afternoon just by settling down at his side. He only ever returned to his little hiding place when he happened to be there at dawn; as it stood, with insomnia just beginning to take root, he was prone to sleeping only when he could no longer keep his eyes open and he could no longer keep moving in the dead of night.
Tonight, he had awoken sometime just past midnight when the willows around him were too still and the stars twinkled in the spaces between the clouds above. When he felt he was able to take his first deep inhale of this vigil, he could have sworn that he felt nothing. Did his chest still hurt? Had the winds finally stopped howling in his ears? Were the aches gone from his shoulders at long last? It seemed so...
He figured caution would be best - which was uncharacteristic coming from someone who had always dared to do what he wanted and lived life without care. One step at a time. His breath came from him, ragged and scared; apart from Angier and Elettra, Skoll now had no one he could trust. Enoki, perhaps, but she barely knew him. Niles and Ravenna, also maybe, but they, like Greer, chose to keep their distance from their older brother (it was either that, or Skoll merely saw little of them due to the strange hours he kept).
For what could have been a very long time, he merely stared at the world beyond the curtain of willow branches just inches in front of his nose. Perhaps I had died that day, he considered, talking to himself now in his head. I remember running, but not where I went, what I did, who I met... how I got back here...
Overhead, an owl let out a wary hoot and a disturbed raven dared to answer it. It startled the Archer and immediately he flattened himself to the ground with his ears back and his eyes shut. Only until silence had prevailed did he crack open one silvery iris... then the other... Then, it dawned on him: he was a wolf, was he not?
He blinked, lifting his head quietly as he regarded the umbrella-like canopy above him, the grass beneath him. With his right paw, he swept his pads across the vivid green blades, their colors off in the darkness. Did ghosts feel anything? he wondered. If he spoke or uttered even a single sound, would anyone hear him? His jaws parted and he decided against it; he had assumed and decided long ago that no matter what Morganna had said, she would never, ever come back for him.