She might as well been a ghost for all the good she did. Whether it was true or not she felt her company was not exactly welcome. She surely was not any brightness nor warmth. Why she wasn't so worn and ragged in appearance any more she was still a bit thin, and a times the life in her eyes could appear faded. Dull. She had started eating again, patrolling here and there when she felt like it. There was no doubt the will to keep going was being diminished. Her existence seemed of little importance any more.
She padded along, trying not to succumb to her dreary thoughts. She had made a silent vow she would not just wander off and hope for the worst. Leaving someone to figure out what happened ot her. She couldn't do that to Rook. With what might she had Jayse tried to think about seeing spring again. At least one more time. But, it was such a little thing to hold to.
The white lady paced herself. She had a small breakfast, and with no one near the den she had took to walking a broken trail. Hoping maybe to converse with someone. Even if she didn't do much talking, to not feel so alone helped. The further she trekked it was evident she was far behind, and unless she wanted to push her lungs she would not be catching up. A frown, she took a deep breath, and attempted to shove her sorrow aside. It was still pleasant in the sun, and walking helped keep her head clear. As the Limestone Bluff came into view, she paused admiring it for a minute, thoughts tumbling again. Mismatched eyes caught sight of the openings below she had never noticed. But, it was the dark silhouette of a wolf that had her attention. Brows brushed over eyes as she tried to decide who she might be seeing. There was something familiar. At a slow jog she dare approach, seeing that this wolf had lots of grays in her coat. Could it be? "Elettra?" She called, uncertain.
There was a moment she thought her cry would go unheard. Maybe it was not El after all, and she really was so desperate for the past. Just like when she had mistaken Rowan for Kade. A silly heart aching for old things long gone.
Hesitation caught into her step, but suddenly the woman faced her an despite the subtle hints of white Jayse knew that face! She knew those fierce, silver eyes! A smile stretched across her cheeks, tail sweeping behind her. Swiftly, she nodded, rushing forward to greet her friend, forgetting about taking it easy.
When the gap closed, a light laughter fell from her lips of relief, and joy. All that was in this world, this was her greatest friend, and she was still alive. Here of all things! The white lady was touched she should be greeted in such a way after all this time. In turn she planted her nose in the edge of the dark silver fur, taking in her scent, so different and yet still of memory. She had not expected to see her again. She didn't think fate should smile down upon her so. Yet here they were. With renewed spirits she drew a step back, meeting her familiar gaze."El, it is so good to see you. How are you? How is the Ridge?"
If Jayse could have used anything it was this. She had often reminisced about the old days, missing her 'family'. The original of the Hollow. Elettra put what Jayse could not in words. "Me either," she admitted. Especially, so recently when she wondered if she even wanted to hang on.
On the other hand El did look rather well for her own age, and this pleased the former white queen. Some things may have went to hell, but surely not El. For that she was grateful, and simply happy. It gave her some piece of mind to know after all this time things had gone well for her friend, and guardian. Her happiness lingered in her smile, in her mismatched eyes. "Aw, after a change in leadership it seems it takes awhile for the dust to settle, even if they are your own. Kinda funny to me, I mean ya think for the most part it would be smooth. But, I guess being their pupsitter then their subordinate is quite a change." Lightly, she shrugged her shoulders. For her in their world it just made the most sense for the pups to move up, or someone else to step in if they had a problem with it. Jayse couldn't imagine Morganna was so different from her own mother. "Trisden is leading Renegade's Reach. It's where we claimed after the sickness took over here. But I know it was certainly an adjustment for everyone. Even me, kinda hard not to patrol, answer calls, fuss over everyone." It still was, but she couldn't keep up.
Now Jayse, yeah she probably was the one who looked like hell. It must have shown. But, life had had a lot of those moments in between the bits of heaven. She really had hung on a long time when Borden began to forget, but when he had finally been put to rest it had hit her hard. Everything she had been holding couldn't be contained, then what had happened to Cinder.... Sometimes she wasn't sure how far she was from slipping back into that dark abyss. Sweeping in a long breath, her face became neutral. "Honestly? We both know I've been better. The last months haven't been no breeze. But, I'm trying to get my act together. Take it easy, eat, and remember how to live."
It was evident she was pleased to hear about Trisden. Which was only right. They had been the closest. Why, there was doubt they would see each other again, she was sure her daughter would like to hear how her former guardian was. How Jayse missed those days. Knowing well Trisden would have a litter of her own helped to ease the changes life no doubt would keep throwing there way. "She will be glad to hear of you." Gently murmured.
Jayse had no idea what had passed between Rook and the pack of Willow Ridge. Only since having gained two members it had brought on tensions perhaps. Why it should have been something for her to pursue she did not. For one, things were not as they had been. Two, she felt it would be her son who had to fix things. Thirdly, she was going to take up Trisden's offer of returning to the Reach. The Hollow wasn't home any more, and she didn't feel she could stay there much longer in her current state.
She glimpsed the worry in her friend's eyes. It furthered Jayse's love for the great woman, that even now she was concerned, wanting to help. She hated to crush that, bring her down. But, she could not pretend. She could not lie to @Elettra. Gently, she shakes her head."That is kind of you, but I think it is matters which my son needs to settle for himself. With his father gone, it's going to take him some time... " Mismatched eyes fell to the ground, trying to keep it all at bay. How long he had worked to make Borden better, and bring him back to the Hollow. His entire energy and being focused on the two. Now, Borden was gone. She was not sure what Rook wanted nor how to help other than the comfort of her presence. Her words seemed to do little. She only hoped he would pursue his own life.