Sanguine Cove It's not what you think

For @Moonshadow <3

It had been a few weeks, but Nash's conversation with his brother still weighed on his mind. Sure, he'd been able to set it aside sometimes. Not think about it. Certainly not show he was upset. At one point he'd thought about just... Walking away for a while. Slipping off on his own and leaving the mountain behind.

He'd come back of course, but it might have been a while. He'd spent so long travelling and no time actually looking, seeing, learning. Why had he spent so long obsessing over finding wolves that had left on their own? Why hadn't he left and found his own life, like Chan said?

Stupid.

He'd spent hours sitting on the border, staring out, willing himself to take that step. He'd been beyond the borders of course, but this time the weight was different. The meaning.

He'd turned around and come home and laid on the Lakeshore on sullen numbness.

Nash decided he should talk to his mom. He had months to figure out what he wanted, and what Chan had said made an impact, but Moon's opinion was still important, and he didn't want her to feel left behind.

He headed toward the den, hoping she would be around. "Mama?" he called softly.

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

Note to self: This is set earlier in the day before @Kajika's arrival

The inky woman stretched her long limbs as she exited the communal den. The sun was higher than she had anticipated. She mentally scolded herself, she really needed to be getting up earlier. She felt guilty for sleeping in constantly, despite usually going to bed late. She didnt want to slack on her responsibilities, or have anyone feel like she wasnt contributing. So the large woman decided she would do a complete border check, to  go all the way around the territory.  But first things were first, a drink and some breakfast.

Water dripped from her dark chin as Moonshadow finished her drink from the lake shore. She was making her way towards a nearby cache when she caught Nash calling out for her. Mama?  She would have turned to meet him regardless but something in his voice concerned her. Quickly changing her course, Moon steered towards him. Worried mercury orbs fell on his dark frame, scanning for any obvious signs of physical injury. Seeing none she settled on his facial features, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Good mornin' love." she greeted trying to keep her worry hidden. Moonshadow had a habit of being a worrywart so she had learned to try to keep it concealed. As to not worry the one she was worried about.

Word Count: 000

To Nash's delight - and perhaps trepidation, because it meant he actually had to have this conversation - his mother was drinking just outside the den. He offered her a smile, which he hoped was convincing, and greeted her with a kiss to the cheek before stepping back a bit. "How are you?" he asked, procrastinating. Maybe he could just steer the conversation toward something mundane; he didn't have to talk to her about his future plans; he still had so much time to make up his mind, and maybe if he talked to Chan some more, cleared some things up...

But no, it would only confuse him more. @Chan would only feel guilty for giving him this level of internal conflict, and might even backtrack his invitation. Nash liked having the option open to him.

He wondered if by joining his brother, Nash would be smothering him.

Nash heaved a sigh. There was nothing for it; might as well get it over with. There was not good way to start a conversation like this. "Mama... we need to talk."

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

His smile did little to hide his trepidation or convince her it wasn't there. He asked her how she was though his mind was clearly on something else. The ebony mother smiled understandingly at her youngest son and replied "I'm doin' alright love. How are ya?" Mercury orbs studied his features some more as his gaze was adverted. After some moments of silence Nash let out a heavy sigh and finally looked at her. Emerald eyes shone as he said they needed to talk. A near silent whine fell from the Eastfall woman as she closed the gap between them to nudge his cheek. She hated seeing him upset. "Of course my love, whats the matter?" Concern filled her gaze as she waited for him to say what was on his mind.

Word Count: 000

Nash knew his mother could see right through him - she'd always been able to. Maybe it was a mother's super powers. Maybe he was just that transparent and everyone in the pack was laughing behind his back. Maybe he was Maybelline.

His mother quickly came to him and nudged his cheek affectionately. He returned the gesture before sitting down. How did he put this? "I was talking to Chan, a little while ago," he started. He didn't want to out his brother, but their mother was perceptive and probably knew his plans. She wasn't as naïve as he was.

So stupid.

"I was talking to Chan, and he's planning on leaving in the spring," he finally said. "And I... I might go with him?" It came out weaker, all his uncertainty laid out plain for his mother, who probably would have seen it anyway.

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

Sorry about the wait! :(

Mercury orbs shone as she waited for her youngest son to reply. She mirrored his action and allowed his inky haunches to rest on the ground under her. Nash spoke slowly explaining how he had spoken with Chan. He explained that his brother had planned to leave the cove in the spring causing the mother's ears to flick back at the news. This was the only indication of any reaction to the news as Moon wanted to focus on Nash in that moment. Though she wasnt surprised, Chan was a wanderer at heart. A warm smile pulled at her ebony lips at what came next. Nash said that he might go with but worded it as a question. She moved and nudged his cheek once again finishing it off with a reassuring kiss. "Well that certainly sounds like it'd be a fun adventure." the greying mother responded, her warm smile still present on her speckled maw. If he wanted to go with his brother, she wouldn't have any problem with it. They always returned anyways.

Word Count: 000

Her response came as both a surprise and... Not. Nash found himself more surprised about his surprise to her answer than he was actually surprised about her answer. Of course she was supportive. She always was.

"I'm not sure yet," he quickly added. "There's still so much time between now and then, and I don't know if I want to leave home again." I don't want to come back to find it empty again, he didn't say.

He didn't know what had gotten into him lately. Why was he so restless? He loved his home. Even when he'd been searching he'd stayed close. He'd always called it travelling, but was that really what it was? He'd met no one. His biggest experience was loneliness. So why was he thinking about leaving?

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

Wanna do one more round then archive? Then we can do our new thread! <3

Her silver tipped tail flicked as it was wrapped around her paws as she watched surprise his features. As quick as it was there it disappeared, and he responded that he wasnt sure. The younger dark wolf quickly added that there was still so much time before then and that he was unsure if he wanted to leave home again. Both reasons were completely understandable and she wouldnt be his mother if she didnt know his fear of finding the cove empty again. "There is plenty of time for ya to decide, no need to feel rushed." She smiled at her green-eyed boy. "If ya do decided to go with him, we'll be here when ya come back." She offered giving his chin a nudge to life his head to hopefully in turn lift his spirits a bit. "I'm not goin' anywhere this time love" she offered to hopefully reassure him. Looking into his emerald gaze her own became misty. She still held so much guilt for leaving the cove and it then falling apart and him eventually finding it empty. But she would remain on the mountain alone if she had to to ensure Nash never came back to it being abandoned.

Word Count: 203

Nash knew he was lucky to have the family that he did. They hadn't left him on purpose, and he was just as guilty for their separation as they were. He was the one who'd wandered off to scout on his own when he was only a yearling. He preferred that they leave the territory than succumb to the coyotes that had overwhelmed the Lore. And he was lucky that his mother was so loving, even if it meant he might be leaving her for a while.

The youngest Eastfall son gave another weak smile and nuzzled his mother's cheek. "Thanks, Mum," he murmured. "I'll... I'll keep you updated. We have the whole winter ahead of us; maybe he'll decide to stay." It was an overly-hopeful thought and Nash knew it. Chan wouldn't be convinced to extend his stay again.

But Nash had time to think.

FADE

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

The inky mother smiled at her youngest son's words. There was a whole season ahead of them and a lot could change in that amount of time. Though whatever his - and Chan's - decision was she would always love them. She moved to take her boy in a wolfish embrace, wrapping her neck around his to pull him close. After a few moments and an internal battle of not wanting to ever let him go she took a step back and smiled. Moon looked her boy over once more before saying her goodbye and turning to leave. There was a couple of cache's that needed to be refilled.

-FADE-

Word Count: 107