Just Make It Stop

Dated for 12/3/13

Ace Only.

I don't judge people; it blurs out the center

Adsila Slayer

of my attention, my focus, myself

She had kept away from everyone. It seemed when she was by herself the aching in her heart subsided slightly, and she could think that it had been her imagination; a scary dream. But every time her mind wandered to think about him, she burst into tears and fell into a heap of blubbering emotions; sadness, anger, confusion. All the wolves that she had known left without a word, no "goodbye" or "I'll be back soon". They just left her for no apparent reason.

First it had been her mother, Rosealia. She had left before they were even a month old, and the young princess couldn't remember anything about her. No sound of her voice, the smell of her scent, or the feel of her touch. It was all lost to her, but she didn't care. Just as her mother didn't care about her or Karpos. Otherwise she wouldn't have left them for dead.

Then it had been Capella, she had been her first friend - apart from Karpos - and then one day, she had just disappeared into the night. After that, it had been her father. Just knowing that he would never be there to comfort her again made everything worse. But the last straw was when Anastasia, Lachesis and Spectre had all left. Her adoptive mother - whom she had started to like - and Spectre - her new best friend - was the hardest apart from her father to let go, as she hadn't really spent time with Lachesis.

After everyone that she cared about left, it had created a huge hole in her heart, one that couldn't be filled. She wouldn't open her heart to anyone, lest it just be cracked into even more pieces and shredded to bits. The pain was just unbearable, and she didn't want to make it worse. No one could drag her out of the hole she had fallen into, not even Karpos. And if they tried, she would fight back as hard as she could.

But now, even Karpos had left her. His scent had grown so faint it was almost nonexistent, and she believed that he had left Pitch Pine trail behind, including her. She had run away; thinking nothing of her family left behind. If she wasn’t with Karpos, then she would truly be alone in the world. The last wolf in the Slayer line to keep true to her word of being a family, but now that was all gone.

Crashing to the ground, Adsila let the tears drip down her face as she howled silently into the darkness. Her pain was so great that she couldn’t speak, it was like there was a dead weight on her body, stopping her from moving. There was just no point to living anymore, she had no one to turn to, they were all and truly gone from her life. Forever.

482 Words

(This post was last modified: Jan 06, 2014, 05:54 AM by Adsila.)

Adsila was gone.

Searching around frantically for any sign; a scent trail, a patch of dark fur, anything really, Ace felt his fear and anger rise up until it was bubbling at the surface. The anger because she had left them with no notice, no “I’ll be back soon”; she had just left. The fear because she was out there all alone, with no one to help her in need. What if something happened to her? He wouldn’t be there to help her, and he would never forgive himself if she got hurt.

Ace froze as he caught the slightest of taints on the cool, wintery wind. Inhaling deeply, he caught the scent he had been searching for, and like a bullet being shot out of a gun, he darted forwards at a sprint. The cool wind bit at his nose and eyes, while he slipped here and there on the layer of snow coating the ground like a white, fluffy carpet. The moss underneath didn’t make it any easier.

His breath came hard and in short gasps. He wasn’t made for running fast and long distances, fighting was more of his forte. At long last Adsila’s scent became more distinct, and he heard the slight crunch of snow being crushed by a heavy weight. Ace came to an almost complete spot at the sight of the Pitch Pine Princess curled on the ground, as if waiting for death to come and take her away. It almost broke his heart.

Cautiously walking forward, Ace kept his silver eyes on her crumple form, and when he was a few feet away from her still body, he paused. “Adsila?” Closing the distance between them, he nudged her shoulder softly, before licking her face gently; his salmon pink tongue came away salty with tears. A soft, purring rumble emitted from deep in his chest and he pulled her close to him. “Don’t cry Adsila, I’m right here. Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

330 Words

If I could have you in my heart, I
would protect you forever

(This post was last modified: Dec 11, 2013, 12:13 AM by Ace.)

I don't judge people; it blurs out the center

Adsila Slayer

of my attention, my focus, myself

The sound of cracking timber and the sloshing of a heavy weight running through the slick snow was lost to Adsila. She was trapped in her own hell that no one else could reach. Sobs wracked her scraggy body, yet no sound escaped. Even when she was by herself, she would show no weakness. Weakness meant an easy target, and easy target would be eliminated quickly. Her goal in life was to survive and thrive, whether it be alone, or with a pack. It all determined on the circumstances. But right then, she wanted to climb into a hole and drift off. Maybe she just needed a friend, but there was no one left to trust. They were all gone. They left her behind. She hated them all.

When a familiar soft voice broke the deafening, eerie silence, Adsila barely stopped herself from looking up to see the face, the one that had been with her from the very beginning. She would not give her broken heart to him, only to let him crush it even more. He was supposed to protect her, and yet, he had been one of the many wolves that dealt the blows. He meant nothing to her anymore.

Adsila kept herself limp when he nudged her shoulder carefully, like he was carefully wiping the dust off a crystal figurine, being very cautious to not shatter it into thousands of sharp shards. Her breath hitched in her throat as his rough tongue gently swept against her damp face. The soft, rumbling purr that came from deep within him was soothing, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t pull herself away from his gentle grasp. If she did, she felt like she would fall, and continue to fall until she could go no further. He was her last lifeline, and she just couldn’t let go. Burrowing into his warm chest, his familiar scent that had been with her since her birth, calmed down her racing heart, and broke free some of the dark tendrils that were beginning to draw her into the shadows.

”Ace,” she whispered.

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Her body was cold against his. Wrapping himself around her to warm her up, Ace gently groomed her neck and head. It was what his mother used to do to calm him down when something happened, and as far as he knew, it was the only thing he could do to help Adsila. He held his breath and paused when she whispered his name, waiting to see what she would do. But once he realized she was going to do nothing, he resumed his activity, mulling over what to say.

He didn’t want to be too harsh on Adsila, she was still young, and was very breakable at the moment. But she still needed to know what she had done was wrong, and couldn’t go by unpunished. But the longer he sat there with her, the more his resolve crumbled. It was painful even to think about it. She had gone through so much already at such a young age; that was a punishment in itself.

They both sat still for a long time, how long, Ace was unsure, but by now the rest of the pack would be wondering where they had gone. Soon, they would have to go back, but he didn’t feel the need to get up. He knew that it would take persuasion to get Adsila to follow him, and he would never return without her. One way or another, he would get her back to the pack.

Slowly, he drew back from the embrace and stared into Adsila silvery green eyes. They looked forlorn and dim; he missed the sparkle that had been there. But when Shade died, it diminished into nothing, disappearing from sight, presumably for forever. Exhaling softly, he spoke in a quiet voice, “why did you leave?” He left the question hanging.

300 Words

If I could have you in my heart, I
would protect you forever

I don't judge people; it blurs out the center

Adsila Slayer

of my attention, my focus, myself

Adsila was lulled into a half-awake state as Ace gently ran his tongue along her neck and head. It reminded her of when she was very young, still protected and kept inside the den at all times. When everything made sense. Before Rosalie left, and everything turned to chaos and confusion, anger and pain set its course to take over their lives.

Her silvery green eyes closed as she leaned into his warm, shaggy chest. Warmth crept from where their skin touched to her paws and the end of her tail. He reminded her of every good feeling she had had, but also of the worst. It was a win/lose situation, but it was better than being alone and afraid.

When Ace slowly pulled back from the embrace, she looked up at him, tears threatening to spill over. She dropped her gaze at his question, not wanting to look into his face and see the hurt she had caused him. The reason was obvious: to get away from everything. But how could she tell him that without breaking his heart?

Staring at her paws, Adsila tried to prolong the inevitable for as long as possible, but like everything in life, she couldn’t bypass it and keep going on. Taking in a deep, shaky breath, she hesitantly lifted her gaze to stare at his face. “I left because,” she broke off as a sob threatened to escape from her maw, “because everyone I cared about had left me behind. I wanted to escape from it all, but now I know that I will never be able to get away from it.”

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Ace waited patiently for Adsila to speak her troubles, and when she finished, it felt like a knife had been plunged into his heart. How could she bear all the pain without breaking down and ceasing to function? It was enough to make any wolf suicidal, just to be rid of the pain that was killing them from the inside out. She was taking everything and holding it in, not voicing her pain to anyone. It was too much for one to carry by them self, and she was so young! Not even a yearling, and she had gone through much more than any other, even some who had fully passed their prime, and were waiting for death to take them. But Adsila had her whole life ahead of her, and he would try to the best of his abilities to make sure that it was a happy life filled with love, friends and family.

His jaws parted slightly, as if opening to allow words to pass, but nothing came out. His throat had constricted too much to speak, and it was all the he could do to not let out the grief that was building up inside him. He had to be strong for Adsila, be her guiding light, her guardian, someone to care for her when there was no one left. But that wasn’t true, she still had everyone left in Pitch Pine Trail to look after her. Capella, Aeolus, Naia, Silver, and Karpos. They were all there for her, a family who looked after each other. She wasn’t alone in the world.

Finally, after much inner fighting for self-control, Ace closed his eyes and took three deep breaths, before letting his silver gaze fall on Adsila. “They haven’t left you behind Adsila, they just moved on to a place that was calling them, but you are still in their hearts. They cared for you and Karpos, and nothing could ever change that.” He paused briefly to let his words sink in, and contemplate his next words, so that it wouldn’t sound as if he was chastising her. “It is true that one can never escape from the pain caused by others, but with the help of ones who love you and who you love, you can overcome it, and come back stronger than ever.” Ace gently reached forward to nuzzle her shoulder. “Come back home with me, and I promise, Pitch Pine Trail will always be there for you.”

412 Words

If I could have you in my heart, I
would protect you forever