Stonewatch Timbers not enough for you

@Raela

May 2nd, 4:20am, Light Rain Shower

Minka had refused to see anyone since she had found @Tokino's body, choosing instead to send @Gent to inform the rest of the pack. The only exception being when she had asked @Bane to go back to the site and bury the body, she couldn't stand to do the task herself. Now she knew that her pups would arrive soon, within the next week she was certain and it was only cementing the fact that she would do this alone. The expectant mother spent most of her days sleeping, or eating, away from her subordinates and reclused in the birthing den she had made herself. She couldn't piece herself together enough to be presentable, and she would do anything to keep herself from falling apart when she was supposed to be leading. So when she needed to relay messages to the other members she would call for the guardian who her late mate had assigned to her detail but requested he too stayed at least far enough away to be out of eyesight unless otherwise specified.

Tonight, or rather early in the morning was different. Minka awoke from her sleep to a sharp cramp in her side, while she knew it wasn't nearly strong enough for actual labour it meant it would be sooner than she thought. Perhaps days away rather than a week or more, last time she had these sharp cramps on and off for only three or four days before she had given birth. Grunting with discomfort she shifted in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain to no avail. Sighing she heaved her body up and out of the low opening, blinking against the light rain as she looked about. As she wanted none of the pack was near and the moon was still high enough that sunrise wouldn't be for a couple of hours. Minka was all alone, and it seemed like she was going to have to get used to it.

Raela's tawny form drifted quietly through the trees, their moonlight shadows draping across her moistened coat. Held securely in her jaws was the pelt of a hare, together with a few of the larger leg bones. It had been an easy catch from the day before; carried with her to her resting place and devoured for dinner. She had thought then of both the new pups and of Minka, as she so often did now. It was such a horrible situation for the mother to be. The news had brought a thick, frightening air to the wolves of the Crest and their new domain. Their leader had been killed. While she was sad for Tokino's demise, the woman's thoughts had focused much more strongly on what would become of Kova and his mom. She worried for Noble too, but the girl had been gone for such a time that Rae was beginning to doubt her survival as well. The subordinate's heart was broken for her leader, and each instinct and impulse at her core begged for her to find the now reclusive matriarch. She had lost Tolas just last year, and around just this time. She could feel it in the cool night air and in the droplets of cold, uncaring rain. The thoughts would have drawn tears into her eyes if she was not so set on her mission. Raela had awoken some minutes before, as she often did in the middle of the night. Instead of trying to sleep though, the girl laid awake, listening to the rain and feeling in her heart that Tolas was near. Even if she did not believe in spirits or gods, the girl knew when she felt close to him. It happened out of the blue, and usually when she was alone. Tonight it just had to happen. Everything about tonight was the same. She'd looked to the remains of the rabbit, knowing then that she had to go to her leader, despite the strange time of night. With a heavy heart she had risen to her paws, gathered her gifts, and set off.  She understood why the woman wanted to be alone. For nearly two weeks Raela herself had become a recluse, returning only when the pack commanded. For two weeks she sobbed alone, unable to stop. But she had lost only a brother, and Minka had lost a mate; the dearest of all dear ones. Though Rae herself had never found another to love, she knew her lady must be in a similar, only more wretched state at his loss. Compassion pulled her onward, and the desire to offer help nipped at her heels. Hopefully the Alphess would accept her presence, as long as her gifts were satisfactory. The concentration of Minka's scent brought her closer and closer to the birthing den, a place she knew better than to enter without permission. Before she was within eyesight, the girl called out; breaking the nights morose and sorrowful silence with a mournful yet questioning whine. It was long enough to be a howl if her mouth were not so full. She would wait there for approval, or if the woman were so inclined, dismissal.  Image © Chris Smith Photography Manipulation © Jenandra

            

Shallow water has trapped several fish in a small pond. Hunt Opportunity

I'm literally the worst, I'm sorry this took forever

The last couple of weeks had been almost a daze for the woman, she couldn't distinguish one day from another, they all seemed to the same. It was as if she were in some odd dream where she watched all of her actions from above but she wasn't able to control herself, just watch. Her usually sharp golden eyes looked unfocused, even when staring you dead in the eye and sometimes she cried even when she didn't realize. Mostly she slept, while wolves typically spent most of their lives sleeping this was taking it to the extreme. Minka was asleep much more than she was ever awake and when she was conscious she wished she wasn't. In her dreams Tokino was still here, in her dreams none of this had ever happened, her children would have a father, she would have her mate, the pack would have their leader.

Now though she knew she wouldn't be able to lull herself back, the cramps were far too uncomfortable to even think about staying still. So she stood out in the rain, light enough that it didn't absorb past her outer coat and so she wasn't bothered by it. Other than a much more frequent blinking of her eyes to clear the moisture Minka barely registered that it was raining at all. Another cramp claimed her side and the expectant mother twinged at the pain, perhaps she would as @Bane to go to the infirmary for something to relieve her discomfort in the morning.

The whine that broke the silence was surprising, she wasn't aware that any of her members typically were awake and moving around at this time of the morning. Slowly turning her cranium towards the source of the sound the golden eyes lazily looked for the figure responsible. Other than this she gave no indication of a response, she didn't react by sending warning growls as she usually did when her members came to close but she wasn't exactly overly welcoming either. Once more Minka felt herself giving into the haze that surrounded her mind, she didn't care about much anymore. Her children of course, and that meant a thriving pack, but she held little interest for the interactions she once held so dear.

click!

No sound entered the air in response to her call. The quiet patter of raindrops and the gentle swaying of trees in the night breeze remained the only audible happenings. The dark silence had her frozen; unsure if she should continue pressing her luck with the mom-to-be. The time between her call and the response she desired drew longer still, leaving the tawny woman to reconsider her actions. It was a strange time of night; perhaps Minka was asleep like most of the others. Surely if she were awake the leader would have let her know? Or, maybe she wanted Raela to think that so she could be left alone? Seconds came and went as she stood there in the woods feeling more and more uneasy. Was this really a good idea? Curiosity began pulling her limbs forward step by step; quietly urging her toward Minka's strengthening scent. Immediately Rae's posture had adjusted; head low and tail tucked tightly against her belly to signal her submission and to wordlessly apologize for entering the area should the matriarch be in a foul mood. She trusted the older woman not to tear her head off for this, but she was still doing something very risky. As soon as her shrunken form parted the foliage near the den, the girl's attentive golden eyes landed on her leader. Suddenly fearful, she dropped the gifts hastily, shrinking backward with her eyes locked on the deceased animal's pelt. An explanation came swiftly in an attempt to excuse her intrusion. ”Minka I- ” Finding her voice hoarse from disuse and emotion, Raela cleared her throat before speaking again. ”I brought you something, for the pups.” The subordinate allowed her eyes to flick upward a moment to gauge her lady's reaction. Looking back to the offering, she continued, hoping to better her case. ”There's a pelt for the den, and some bones they can play with.” It was clear in her voice that Raela was nervous her gift and presence would not be accepted, but that she strongly hoped for it nonetheless. Her brilliant pools would remain fixated on the presents at her feet, moving only when she was spoken to. The next few moments would be tense for her, and the rigidity of her body reflected it clearly. She was ready to run; being chased from a birthing den was not a new experience. Image © Chris Smith Photography Manipulation © Jenandra

            

The rain continued to fall around her, Minka completely unaware to Raela's internal struggle over her decision to come forward or not. At the sound of approaching footsteps the fae turned her tawny head in their direction but once more made no move of aggression or welcome. The fog that consumed her didn't let her feel anything but numb, which was better than feeling the intense grips of grief she felt in the moments it lifted. She welcomed it even, isolating herself so she could give into the feeling of void, nothing but her and the children inside her. With every nudge and prod they provided her a new wave of grief, as if their kicks were in accusation that they wouldn't have a father. It was her fault, it was her fault that Noble had disappeared and it was her fault that Tokino had gone out looking for her, it was her fault that now her children only had her and she could barely hold herself together.

As Raela came into her view the expectant mother blinked away the moisture from her eyes, though she neither knew nor cared if it was from the rain or tears. As she stared at the pelt in the woman's jaws it made her realize that she hadn't even began or thought about lining the den with her fur. While she was sure with how much time she spent within its walls it had happened on its own she couldn't help but feel guilt. Her children weren't even in the world yet and already she had begun to fail them, they would have no father and now a fog filled creature as their mother.

The golden orbs stayed trained on the pelt on the ground, even long minutes after her subordinate had finished speaking. Suddenly she realized that she hadn't responded and Raela might have been expecting her to say something in return for the gift or her words. Blinking upwards until her gaze was focused on the tawny maw of the woman she opened her mouth but no words escaped her. Closing her jaws and swallowing she tried again, "Thank you Raela." Her voice was raspy from disuse, lately she had communicated only in warning growls to ward off those wandering too close. It had been so long since she had spoken actual words.

click!

A longer amount of time passed with her eyes on the gifts than Raela was expecting. She was afraid to move her gaze, but she couldn't help wondering what the Alpha was thinking. Clearly she didn't want to chase her off, or it would have happened already. Her haunches eased slowly into a sitting position as the minutes dragged on. Some worry began flicking her eyes upwards in stolen glances; the rain the only sound in her lowered ears. Minka...? she wondered, her eyes finding their way up the matriarch's chest and toward her face. She was still staring at the gifts too. After another drawn out moment with the subordinate unwilling to say a word, Minka seemed to realize what Rae was waiting for. Her empty stare tore itself from the offerings, landing on Raela's unsure face. Instinctively her eyes fled the scene, returning to the ground as the leader opened her mouth to speak.  Everything was happening so slowly. Even Minka's response seemed to come at a snail's pace. However, the garbled “thank you” was more than a relief to the nervous woman. Yellow pools moved now; seeking the source of the pathetic sound. This wasn't like Minka at all; though Raela could hardly blame her. They both knew the next thing the darker girl was going to mention, though she hoped she could bring it up without causing too much pain. I'm sorry... the words were never enough. “I'm sorry” didn't change a thing; didn't help at all. No, she needed to get around the useless condolences. There was a reason she was standing here tonight; in these wee hours of the morning, and it swept through her fur on the cool breeze as the rain fell. It was all around her.  Sadness settled like a stone in her chest, and Raela looked away with a quiet sigh. It was so hard to break this thick, sacred silence, but she couldn't let Minka feel this way alone. She wasn't alone. Neither of them were. Her mouth hung open gingerly, tongue practically twitching with the words she wanted to say. Her voice slipped delicately between the raindrops. “I lost my brother Tolas exactly a year ago.” It was airy, gentle, and just louder than a whisper. She recalled carefully just how much of her past the matriarch had been told as she stared at the dark forest. “He was the only one in my whole pack that cared about me ...and they took him.” The melancholy woman would have added “away” but she feared for her voice. She didn't want to descend into trembling, blubbering tears at a time like this. Her eyes climbed upward, gazing listlessly into the dark sky.  “But I don't feel alone tonight.” Image © Chris Smith Photography Manipulation © Jenandra