Grizzly Hollow Cry Me A River

Silence filled the air between them for a few moments before Yvly blurted out a question, almost tripping over her words. Amaryllis felt her cheeks heat up.

"Unfortunately, it's mainly collecting or organising herbs or learning new ones for me." she chuckled nervously. It sounded strange but she found a sort of serenity in learning about the plants and their uses. It kept her mind blissfully blank when she was sorting through the herbs, to place them within groups depending on their respective uses. She liked it when that happened. That meant she could sometimes forget her life in the past and just be herself. "Though I'm also partial to stargazing as well. My father taught me the constellations above our pack when I was younger. I loved it." She tilted her head upwards, kowing there were no stars to see now, since it was high noon but still. "He taught me all sorts of stars. Said that our loved ones were up there, watching over us. He told me that they could be called upon to help us, in times of need." She sighed. Maybe that's what Veho meant when he spoke of his ancestors. Or at least something similar. She still had to ask him about it, out of some curosity. "But I've never quite believed in it. Always thought we carved our own path in life and all." Her faith in the ancestors had been tested quite a bit of course but she wasn't going to share that with Yvly, not unless she probved further. "What of you? What do you do outside of your normal duties?"

@Amaryllis This post ended up being a little longer than I thought it would be lol

Apparently the life of a medic-in-training was a very boring and repetitive one. Yuck. Yvly could not imagine doing the exact same thing over and over again and find it enjoyable to do. At least with scouting she was constantly exploring new places and meeting a wide variety of wolves. Simply gathering the same smelling and looking herbs for days on end would drive her insane. But to each was their own. If Lily found solace in that then she would not question it, even though the idea of doing it herself was abhorrent to her. She would much rather spend her days out in the open spaces, feeling the wind in her face and the ground beneath her paws.

But when Lily brought up stargazing, the tawny female's ears perked up. She sometimes also looked up at the stars when night came around, though for a different reason. They were pretty in the way they twinkled, and she liked pretty things. She had never really taken much note of the constellations, and no one in her pack had ever bothered to teach her about them, so she just took the stars for what she saw them as: pretty twinkling dots in the night sky. While Yvly did not quite agree with Lily's fathers' ideals, and it seemed she did not either, she did approve with the thought of carving ones own life through their actions. She was in control of her own life, not some mystical force above. When Lily asked what she did in her own spare time the tawny female merely shrugged. "I find different ways to entertain myself, mostly. I like living a fairly quiet life away from everyone else." In fact, the most interesting thing she did was leave pack land and run into other wolves. Her days consisted of running a border patrol or tracking down prey. It was very repetitive, but it was doing something she liked, so it was at least partly enjoyable.

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While it might be considered boring to Yvly, Amaryllis enjoyed her duties. But she wasn't going to bore her further with anything. Amaryllis hummed slighlty as Yvly answered in return.

"That is fair enough," Bobbing her head a little, Amaryllis could understand why Yvly liked being by herself. She enjoyed time alone as well. But she needed to also know the others within the pack, so she could understand what their normal health was like. "I could teach you a few constellations, if you'd like one night?" She offered the twany female, it being a genuine offer as an ear flipping back as a squirrel ran down a tree and scampered  away from them, chittering nervously. It did not like these two wolves lurking around nearby and had decided to leave. Pale eyes trailed after it, wondering for a few moments as anothee silence before going back to Yvly, something popping into her head.

"Oh! I have a question.  I hope don't mind my asking but is Crystal a nickname for you?" She hoped she was not being too  intrusive to Yvly. She did not want to alienate the one wolf she could conisder a friend. "It is just, Veho mentioned the name Yvly and I have been curious ever since."

(This post was last modified: Apr 14, 2016, 12:16 PM by Amaryllis.)

@Amaryllis

Tawny ears twitched curiously at the offer of Lily teaching her a couple of constellations at some point in the future. Yvly shrugged, a lopsided grin on her face. She would not say no to the offer, plus it would give the two of them some time to bond with each other. The grayscale female seemed really nice, and it would be good for her to have a close ally in the pack if things ever got a little bit... rough. "I don't suppose why not," she responded just as genuinely as the question had been asked. If anything it would give her something to teach the little ones when they were born and ready to explore the world, if their parents permitted it. Speaking of which, she had no idea if it was Oula and Veho, or if one of them had sought out another wolf. She would find out in due time.

Her gaze was caught by a red squirrel running down a nearby tree and scampering wildly away, chittering and chattering as it made its exit from the two bothersome wolves. The urge to chase after it was strong, but by the time she would even begin to move it would be long gone. Still, chasing squirrels were a fun pastime. Yvly's head snapped back to look at Lily when she posed a very invasive question, brows furrowing and a muscle in her cheek twitching. She remembered Veho mentioning her real name back when Lily was still being accepted, but had not thought much about it, rather hoping the grayscale female would forget al about it. Apparently she had not. Rolling her shoulders to try and seem nonchalant, the tawny female gave a half nod of her head. "Yvly is the name my parents gave to me," She began in a fairly monotone voice, "But I'd much prefer to go by the name Crystal, which is why I introduce myself as such."

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Amaryllis had not expected the sort of reaction from Yvly at all, thinking it was a sort of question she was asking. But no, as Yvly's head snapped back to look at her, after watching the squirrel scampered away and she thought she saw a muscle twitch in her cheek as she frowned. A familiar feeling of dread filled her, even if she was far away from the wolf who normally caused her such a feeling. Such an reaction to an innocent question and yet something more would come from Amaryllis.

"I'm sorry!" Amaryllis nearly flinched away at Yvly's bland tone, tucking her chin down and against her chest as she curled inwards, almost as if it was an instinctive response from past experiences. "I did not mean to bring up any bad memories," Amaryllis folded her ears back and tucked her tail in both apology and embarrassment, guilty panic clearly washing over her face as she did. She honestly did not mean to bring Yvly such discomfort and if she could take back her words, she would. "Please forgive me. I don't wish to lose a friend." A tinge of hopeful begging entered her voice as she spoke as her yellow eyes flickered up to look at Yvly. She truly did not want to lose her as a friend though she would completely understand if the other didn't wish to hang around her anymore. Amaryllis berated herself silently as she waited for Yvly's response. She was always making mistakes anyway and would deserve if Yvly truly didn't wish to speak with her ever again...

"If it makes you feel any better, my full name is Amaryllis," she murmured softly, eyes still cast to the ground between them, as if sharing her own name would alleviate all tensions between them and put them back to what they had been before the question had been posed.

(This post was last modified: Apr 16, 2016, 02:06 PM by Amaryllis.)

@Amaryllis <3 ;~;

While she may have been acting quite standoffish, the tawny female had not prepared herself for quite that reaction. Seeing how Lily curled inwards almost instinctively, chin tucked down to her chest and ears folded back against her skull, Yvly's jaws gaped open slightly in surprise, ears splaying to the side apologetically. She had not meant to scare Lily and make the grayscale think she did not want to be... friends anymore, the question had simply just caught her off guard and she had responded in the fashion she had always done: either sarcastically or with little emotions, the latter in this case.

"No, no I didn't mea-" Yvly began hesitantly as the other female tried to apologise and, in a hopeful and begging tone, wished that she had not lost a friend. This was definitely not her area of expertise, this... emotion stuff. "I didn't mean it that way," she finished, ears drooping slightly. This was not how she had wanted this conversation to turn out, and if she had to be honest with herself... she felt kind of bad for reacting like she had. But it had just been instinctual, a reflex, of sorts. "I'm sorry," The tawny female blurted out, head lowering so it hung at her shoulder level, dark amber eyes glancing at Lily as she spoke again, but this time in a much more reserved and withdrawn manner.

Her tawny ears perked up slightly at the mention of Lily's full name, noticing how she seemed to be trying to fix her mistake. It was a pretty name... after a flower, if she remembered correctly. "Your parents must have known you would grow up to be a healer, naming you after a pretty flower," Yvly said softly, a hesitant smile upon her face, trying to coax the grayscale female out of her cowering position. This was not how she wanted their relationship to end, and if she could, she would try to show Lily that she had not really meant her words the way the other had interpreted them. She was not mean on purpose, it was just a learned habit to turn away and make little of something.

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It wasn't the words that had set Amaryllis off; it had been how they were spoken. They reminded her so much of him, who could be so sarcastic yet sweet in a split second.

She had no idea how he could be so dual toned, a soft and sweet light to his voice to a sarcastic, rough voice the next. And his even, voice, the one when he was trying to be condescending to her without letting her know.

Taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself, Amaryllis closed her eyes and tried to focus on the dark her closed lids brought as anxiety bubbles within her. It was something she had learnt helped calm her down. She just hoped it didn't try somaticize into more serious things.

Understandably, Yvly was caught off guard by her reaction and tried to apologise. She tried to coax her out of cowering, telling her that her name was pretty.

"It...it is okay. And thank you." Amaryllis opened her eyes and smiled at her friend, though she was still curled in on herself. "I apologise, I should not have asked that question. I just...knew someone who used to use that kind of voice in a not very nice way." Uncurling herself finally, she tentatively leaned forward and would try gently bumping their muzzles together in an attempt to comfort them both. Pulling back, she would settle on her haunches.

“My parent named me that because they thought it would help me remember to always be kind to others,” she decided it would be best to try swing to conversation to something a little...lighter, happy Yvly didn't seem to hate her for her folly.

(This post was last modified: Apr 17, 2016, 12:51 PM by Amaryllis.)

This took forever omg @Amaryllis

Tawny ears rotated forwards at Lily's next words as Yvly tried to make her posture less intimidating. This had been the complete opposite of what she had had in mind, and she had no idea how to react in face of this, so she was doing all she could to try and make it all a little better. At the greyscale female's seeming explanation of the cause of her averse reaction, Yvly's brows furrowed slightly. While she could be standoffish at times, bordering pissed off, she had never physically harmed another just for the sake of it. if it ever came to physical contact it would be for a good reason, and though sometimes her words could be mean, it was usually a cause on her end and not meant to be taken literally. It was her way of diffusing her emotions, and she was trying to fix that so it happened in a less destructive way.

When Lily slowly leaned forward to bump noses with her, a small smile spread upon Yvly's face. The simple act reminded her of when Pip did just that when she was excited or grateful. So far only two wolves had done that to her, and... she considered both of them to be more than the usual acquaintances, maybe even friends. "Well you're certainly kind," the tawny female said with a slight grin, tail wagging tentatively by her hind legs. She then remembered the seemingly forgotten bundle of herbs laying nearby, dark amber eyes seeking it out. "I don't suppose you would like some... company on the way to the den?" She asked slowly, eyes rising to meet Lily's yellow irises, a hopeful expression on her face.

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no as long as it took me to do this. XD hope you like

She knew about her anxieties, she thought they had been overcome and conquered. But sadly, it seemed that not everything had been sorted out in her mind and she still reacted negatively to the smallest of things.

Stupid. Idiot. Useless. Had been and was quickly becoming a short mantra in her head again, until it was interrupted by Yvly’s voice breaking in. Amaryllis nearly started at the voice but quickly relaxed. Yvly was kind, Yvly was nice. She wouldn’t do anything with any sort of bad intention.

Fighting down the heat that came with Yvly saying she was kind - no she wasn’t, she was unkind, bad for letting someone die - Amaryllis lowered her gaze down to the herbs, having also forgotten about the little bundle. “Yes, I would like some company.” She answered simply, an almost shy smile working its way onto her face as she looked back up at Yvly. The other was slowly becoming her friend, along with Pip and Veho, though he was still her leader and she respected him as such. “Would...Do you want to some border patrols with me, once this bundle is dropped off? I think I smelt a fox close to the south border and wanted to make sure.” It was a flimsy excuse to spend more time with Yvly, to keep this nice fluttering in her stomach going, though she’d not welcomed the near silent walk they’d surely have to the den, because it felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. And she did not want Yvly to hear that.  

She just hoped Yvly didn’t see pass the ruse and tell her no, that all she'd see what a friendly gesture. That's all she wanted to be with Yvly, a friend.

Wasn't it?

(This post was last modified: Jun 28, 2016, 12:57 AM by Amaryllis.)

You can fade the thread @Amaryllis :)

Yvly's tail wagged happily down by her hocks. She was glad Lily had accepted her offer to accompany her to the den. It would be nice to chat for a while longer, or at least have another close by if the herbs prevented legible speech from the one carrying the bundle. The tawny female's theory on chatter was slowly changing, her gradually becoming used to speaking more often and in a less harsh tone. It was difficult some days and with some wolves, but change was a slow process. Soon she hoped to be well versed in speaking with others even when it was challenging, especially if she was to become an official scout for Grizzly Hollow.

At the greyscale female's query of doing a border patrol together, Yvly nodded, a warm smile upon her maw. Yes, she could do that. "Of course!" She chirped out. She had been meaning to do one before but became... distracted by the sun and the warm rock. It had been too good of an opportunity to pass up, if she had to make an excuse for her actions. But if there was a fox close by then they would most definitely have to check it out, lest it get too close and possibly endanger any pack mates. "Would you like me to carry the bundle in case you spot any other herbs on the way there?" The tawny female asked with a slight raise of an eyebrow. She did not mind either way, but the offer was there on the table anyways.

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