Ghastly Woods Not a Contest, Nor a Conquest

<blockquote>Listening to Jaysyek's words carefully, his eyes traced the angles of the trees and shadows alike, comparing the rough of their bark to the tone of her voice. And then she spoke of death. The word itself had the power to numb the male's mind and body, as he'd accepted long ago that only death would erase his scars. It was not a thing of nightmares; after all, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Without shifting his gaze he would agree with her in his mind, ears flattening against his broad head at the thought of his death and as he envisioned Jaysyek standing over his body, old and grey, laid to rest in and beneath the snows of Relic Lore. The vision only he could see felt as cold as his heart did at the moment. <i>"Kade?"</i> the angelic voice reached for him.

He didn't move. For a moment he didn't even breathe. Outwardly it appeared as though the subordinate had fallen into some waking coma, but inside his thoughts raced. <i>What would be the fate of Jayse and her mate, the fallen hero? In that wake, where would Kade stand, if not beside her? </i>Thoughts of dreams he would leave behind him in the coming days were quickly pushed away just as soon as they'd dared to cross his mind. He sought no mate, and did not think of Jayse in such a manner, but as thoughts of his death prowled, he was curious why he'd not envisioned his future children standing above his dead body instead?

With a soft sigh, the brute finally turned back to his companion. <b>"No one can escape the loss that is death. I've only just found you...There will be a goodbye, one day. I just hope that when the time comes, we can both look back on our lives - whatever directions they may take - knowing that we bravely followed our hearts."</b>

He watched the language of her body calmly, leaning from her as she'd from him, planting a foreleg to lean his weight on as he pondered.</blockquote>

my weakness is that i care too much.

Conflicted thoughts, conflicted motions knawed like a monster behind her pale coat. Had she ever felt a peace near anyone? Had her gut always twisted in this tortured way? Fear, and guilt was that her daily feeding? She wanted to live without regrets, and what ifs. She wanted her life back. Her fears had worn her out. She wanted more than just okay. She was the one who had to make the change, it would be her who took it back, and wielded it the way she wanted. Giving up so much good for all the rough was not a fair payback. Part of her didn't belive she deserved to be happy, she was meant to carry the weight of the world. Even if she had been happy. Until little by little things had fallen apart.

All she could do was let her gaze linger upon him, and question what was happening beneath his dark facade. He did not even flinch nor turn at the sound of his name. She was patient. There was no rush, and no need to push. It felt like one of the longest moments of her life. She had barely began to express the rips in her soul. The calm of the night did little to comfort her.

The release of breath her ears sprang, and she blinked softly her mismatched pools never parting from him. Wise words slip from his lips, and she felt they were spoken directly to her own heart."You're right, and that is my nightmare," she slowly started in hushed tone. "I'm afraid of what will become if I listen to my speaking heart any more." This time she rose standing tall, and bold. The fear she was speaking of was not evident in her stance as she would not be defeated. No, what the leadess knew was her choices affected those around her. She could care less about her own heart (it wasn't whole any way) it was everyone else's well being. She concluded if she made anyone else's life worthwhile, maybe she could die in peace. She leaned over to the black gentleman and bumped her nose to his before pulling back to hold his silver eyes. "I just wanted you to know you have a part of me, but I'm sure it's broken. And I don't want you to be." A sad smile delicately curled her lips. She didn't want to leave him a hole instead of a heart. Nor did she want his life to be a waste. She was aware he might not reguard her any more than his leader. She only wanted him to know exactly how she felt. It was love, affection, or merely adornation she could not decide.

She quickly pulled away a forced breath emitting forth. A rough shake of her head, she drew back to the numb ache more loudly speaking. "Theodore was bitten by a snake, and my first born who my mate went looking for, was found not so long ago taken by death. I was visiting their graves when that delirious female came upon us." The lump in her throat she'd push back, her raised crown bending away from his face looking at nothing but the black shadows trying not to feel. It was the safest thing in life, and sadly she knew her daughter Trisden was so similiar in her own choice to do so.

(This post was last modified: Feb 03, 2012, 04:01 PM by Jaysyek.)

<blockquote>The hard tone of his demeanor softened at the feel of her touch, more comforting than ever even in the face of such a timeless dilemma. The leadess stood with an air of strength, her words falling upon his ears as winter snow flurries fall upon an autumn landscape.

<i> "I just wanted you to know you have a part of me, but I'm sure it's broken. And I don't want you to be."</i> A ghost of a smile broke the solemn look of his mask, his eyes tracing the saddened one on his companion's face. <b>"Every piece of you only makes me more whole, and stronger,"</b> he reassured her, the tension in his muscles dissolving slowly. He had been a broken thing and for a long time, but Grizzly Hollow had the male on the mend, and with Jaysyek's support and encouragement, he was confident that he had a brighter future ahead of him now.

Listening intently as she continued, he imagined the young pup, braving the world until it had gotten the better of him, and <i>another</i>, taken by the wilderness. The thought made his heart quiver; such a loss, and she, such a young mother. It was no wonder that Jayse carried such an invisible burden, and the incident with the rogue made sense now. <b>"I am truly sorry."</b> He was certainly unsure of what to say, part of him believing that his words would have little impact on her sorrow. Nothing could replace her sons, or alleviate her grief, but he offered his fellowship at her side. Gently conveying his support and with a faint wag to the tip of his tail, he nudged her cheek slowly, softly, before allowing his head to fall to the level of hers as she looked into the darkness.</blockquote>

my weakness is that i care to much.

The softness that returned to his dark facade brought a warmness back into her heart. His smile an assurance she needed, but not enough to have her own lips shift. Words were a clue to his own suffering that must have marred his own once whole soul. What had he been through? What was his puphood, and early years? Where had he come from? Who had he lost? She imagined it had been something between bloodshed, and a long time of solitude. Eye's lingered back to the steel colored depths of his, being pulled as if they might tell his unspoken story. That she might see what was missing. What seemed like an uncomfortable time,what she hoped was not, she returned her sight to the twisted background. She did not trust herself to speak. No one knew her history beyond Relic Lore, not a soul. If she asked him she didn't want him to feel he had to tell her just because she was his leader. She rather he would want to share it. She pressed lingering questions away, just drawing in quiet breaths wishing it wasn't so quiet.

Her pale face likely reflected the grief she could not escape, but held at bay. His deeper tone worked to bring comfort, and she wagged her tail in unsion with his, accepting his condolences. She welcomed his returned nudge, but other than that she held still, the light of the night sky seeming brighter than before by her long adjustment to the dark. "All wounds become scars...in time," she spoke like someone with experience, letting a wisp of a fragile smile play at her mouth. It wasn't anything happy, but more an acceptance she would only continue day to day as she always done. While in reality some scars were deeper than others, and took a longer time to mend she didn't mind they were ever reminding her the past was real.

<blockquote>Expressing his agreement with a solemn nod, the dark man took in his companion's words of wisdom. He didn't like hearing of her hardships -<i> the death of her children</i> - but he knew that those events were<i> defining</i> moments in her life and in turn were a part of who she was.

Questions of her past with her mate were still pressing, lulling in the back of his mind, but for now he would be content with the answers he'd received, unwilling to have her rehash anymore of her memories. With a frigid wind to his back, and the dawn just upon the horizon, the Attaya male had it in mind to head home. After all, it was his fault that Jaysyek had been drawn so far from it in the depths of the night. However, the man remained statue-still, in full attention; if there were anything else on her mind, he was not inclined to cut their time short by any means.

<b>"I wish that I could erase some of them,"</b> he added softly, canting his muzzle as he peered genuinely back. With an adept <span class='word'>auscultation</span> of her heart sounds via sensitive ears, he wondered if she'd ever be whole again.

Though he didn't want to pry too deep, there was one answer he felt as though he could not leave the Ghastly Woods without. <b>"Jayse..."</b> he started, a smoldering to his eyes as he realized how far they'd come in their friendship and fellowship. <b>"...<i>What is his name?</i>"</b>

</blockquote>

my weakness is that i care to much.

"Me, too," was her short reply, knowing sadly it was not quite possible for things to be erased. She only wished she would have one heartache at a time, though one right after the other didn't count. It was worse. She hadn't really had time to mend, making each blow more fatal.

She avoided his gaze in the unsettling silence, realizing too how long they had been here, and how soon the sun was coming. It didn't seem right, but the lack of sleep was weighing down her eyelids telling her otherwise. Could she return, and lie down to sleep? This time she was usually just waking, starting her patrol of the forest. She too didn't want to head for home, not if he wasn't ready. She had come this far to comfort him.

Sound of her name, her chin titled, her eyes trying not to see the burn in his eyes. Pale brows creased puzzled, and she was close to reaching out to him once more, when he voiced what was on his mind. It was almost like his words had been some physical force, and she tucked her chin to her chest. "Borden Lyall." She whispered into the silk of her fur.