Sanguine Cove jack frost nipping at your nose

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

Aquene caught the way that he trailed off and stuttered over his own words awkwardly but she didn’t pry. She recalled their first meeting when he first talked about his brother leaving him and how he felt about it… and it didn’t take much of a leap to figure out what he had originally intended on saying. “I think the words I once said to you still ring true… loss never gets easier… if anything, I think it gets a little harder. Even if you don’t remember them much and you were young when they left m-the lake… it still had an impact on you.” She cared about him, and that included caring about his feelings and his abandonment issues and trying to soothe them as best as she could.

Then it was his turn to ramble, and admittedly tension faded from her body and she visibly relaxed when he mentioned that he didn’t really want to go. Was it selfish of her to be happy about that? She was pretty sure it was, especially when she knew what his brother, his family, meant to him. Her brow raised in confusion when he started to mumble to himself. Whatever did he mean by that? She wasn’t understanding… at least, not right away…

Her heart raced in her chest as his words fell over her, relief finding her features. He seemed so nervous, and she let a soft and kind smile onto her features, lightly nuzzling against his neck as she tried to formulate the words she’d been keeping in for quite awhile. “I like you too… a lot.” She was poised… most of the time, but even now she felt a little nervous repeating those words back despite knowing that he reciprocated the feelings.

“I… I don’t want to leave, and I don’t want you to leave… but I also don’t want to pull you away from your brother. I know how much he means to you. I remember how upset you were when you first talked to me about him leaving.” She explained softly, because she didn’t want him to hold any regret for the decisions that he made today. She wanted him to be happy, even if it meant ripping her soul out. “I… I love you, Nash.” She just wanted him to be happy and healthy, whatever that meant for her. It was his choice, fully and wholly.

It had been too much to hope that Aquene, ever the observant shaman, wouldn't notice his little slip up, but she did, and Nash could only duck his head and try not to be too embarrassed. The pack had been back together for almost a year now - depending on when one considered the pack 'together' - so Nash really should be over it.

His rambling words clearly helped the woman to relax, awkward as he may be, and he immediately wished he could be much smoother. He bet Chan and @Moonshadow never had these issues. He bet his father was the smoothest, and here Nash was, destroying romance with every stutter.

Warmth grew in his chest when Aquene confessed that she too liked him, a lot. A silly little grin began to pull at his mouth until she continued, explaining that she knew how much Chan meant to him. He looked at her for a long time (or what felt like a long time to him), and he could feel the right words, said the right way, coming. He could feel them creeping up his throat, feel them swelling on his lips, ready to finally say what he'd been trying to say, that she was more important to him than Chan now, that she was his family too; tell her just how much she meant to him, put it all on the line -

"I... I love you, Nash."

And he was hanging there like a fly caught in a web, jaw dangling while his mind tried to catch back up.

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

Aquene knew that about him, and it in no way changed the way she viewed him. It had been over a year and she was still hung up on her mother’s passing, and the way that she felt she had failed her mother, not that she ever spoke about it aloud to anyone… she understood where his head was at, just in a different way.

She knew her father had never had those issues… at least, that was what she had always thought. Little did she knows Karpos was just as socially awkward and abash with his feelings at her age, though his ended a little more tragically than she had a feeling hers would. She found his stuttering to be cute. She liked it, the way he tried to find the right words.

He seemed even now like he was trying to pick his words carefully, and she simply let the silence fall over them though she earned for him to cut it. Her words seemed to catch him in shock and she was both amused and concerned by his shock, moving and lightly bumping the bottom of his jaw with her nose to encourage him to close it. It was much too cold to let the inside of his mouth freeze like that.

“I… Nash..?” She trailed off with that concern in her voice as she tried to get him to say something, feeling just a little self-conscious that she had just put everything out there like that. She had been stewing and thinking about what these feelings were for a long time. She’d never felt this strongly before… she knew what this was, at least to her.

It took an embarrassingly long time for Nash to catch up and snap his jaws shut, teeth clicking loudly in the small space. Aquene's beautiful eyes glinted at him in the dim light of den, waiting. He needed to say something, anything. He began stammering again, searching for the words he knew he'd been about to say, the words that would have been so perfect, so smooth, so very much what Aquene deserved from him.

What came out instead was a fumbling, clumsy, "You do? Oh. Oh! I- I mean, I love you too. I love you too!" This second profession was perhaps shouted a bit too loudly, and his ears pressed back while he laughed nervously. "Dang it, I had- I was going to- I had the perfect thing!" he wrinkled his nose in frustration and took a deep breath.

"Okay. Okay. What I was trying to say was I don't want to leave, because you're here, and you're my family too. And- and I love you, and I don't want to go anywhere that you won't be. B-because, because you're my home now. I think." No! Nash! Why did you add 'I think' on there? It was so perfect! Stupid, stupid nervous brain! She literally already said it! You don't have to be scared!

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

Even his jaw hanging was adorable… he was just so wholesome and they shared so many values, especially when it came to family… she bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from giggling because it wasn’t polite for a woman to giggle, at least according to her mother, just letting an amused grin onto her features instead. He loved her too. Despite all the fumbling and general loudness, that was really the only words she heard and the only words she needed to hear as well.

He started to ramble again before he drew a deep breathe and she let him. He needed to express his feelings and she needed to give him the time to recollect himself to form words. She’d had a bad habit of interrupting him when he was trying to get the words out. Her eyes softened as he started to monologue, warmth flooding through her heart as her smile only grew and she nuzzled against his neck lightly to show her affection. “You’re my home now too, Nash.” She assured him, knowing what he meant despite the I think at the end because honestly, he had managed to word it more eloquently than she thought she ever could.

(This post was last modified: Jan 04, 2022, 10:17 PM by Aquene.)

Despite his awkwardness, Aquene seemed to understand what he was trying to say and didn't think less of him for his verbal struggles. He finally relaxed, returning her nuzzle as they cuddled up in the warm space, a shelter from the hostile winters of the mountain. "I love you," he said again, just because he could. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to stop saying it, now. It was an odd sensation, that.

Hesitantly, he placed a delicate kiss to the back of Aquene's head. "I love you."

(This post was last modified: Jan 04, 2022, 10:14 PM by Nash.)

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

While Aquene could be good with her words, it was almost exclusively when she was acting as a healer, and mostly because she had to be confident or wolves could die. She was not going to make that mistake again. No, thank you. She didn’t know how she’d survive letting another wolf she cared for slipped away… perhaps that was why it was so easy for her to form those words when the time came. She let her eyes close softly, fully embracing the cuddles as he repeated the words back, letting out soft content murmurs to show her comfort.

He placed a kiss to the back of her head and she smiled warmly at it. “I love you too.” She repeated those words, not afraid of using the word too much, more afraid of not using it enough. They continued to cuddle as the hostile winter storm raged outside.

Fade