Iridescent Lagoon Just keep kicking as you go down

M and CW for suicidal ideation

Archer

Archer's ears swept back as his peace offering was ignored. He looked away. "That's not fair," he said quietly. "You had friends you wanted to take too." But you asked about Kat first, a bitter part of him whispered. He'd ruined everything - and for what? She was gone. He could look back on all his decisions and see how many mistakes he'd made, how many times he'd failed. It's all he'd ever done, again and again and again. He'd failed his family at every turn.

If he had any more tears to shed his eyes would have welled, but as it was Archer simply felt empty. "Can we not argue? Please?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know how many times I can apologize for my many failures; I know it can never be enough. I destroyed my life and hurt everyone I've ever loved. Even Ally. Sometimes I wonder..."

His gaze turned to the lake and drifted over its open, calm waters. What would it be like, he idly wondered, if he simply waded out until his paws couldn't reach, dove for a fish that wasn't there, and just... never came back up? Would he be afraid in that moment, or would he finally feel at peace for the first time since he was small? Would Sephrina meet him there, on that sandy bottom? Would his ma? Eros would take good care of Ally. She would be better off in a pack that could care for her. Viorel had said his children were always welcome when Archer failed. When, not if, and he'd been right. Archer failed. He failed so extraordinarily - like he always had.

Archer blinked slowly and turned hollow eyes back to his brother. He couldn't leave his daughter; he'd promised never to abandon her. But... he could give her a choice, if Eros wanted to meet her, couldn't he? Mine, the selfish part of Archer hissed. She was his daughter. His. And he would raise her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, voice a rasp, and he didn't know if he was apologizing again for his failure, for his betrayal, for his momentary thought of letting it all go... or perhaps it was for all of it.

(This post was last modified: Jul 18, 2023, 12:21 AM by Archer.)

Archer is very haggard and thin; it is obvious he is not doing well.

Archer seemed to just keep breaking, and Eros' gut twisted. That wasn't what he was here for, even before finding out about his nephew's death. His ears lowered, and his brother's grief-stricken heart pendulumed back into its depression.

'Can we not argue? Please?' His jaws parted to insist he wasn't trying to, but the other young Valle kept going, making Eros' own chest hurt more with his pained words.

"That's not what I'm saying," he spoke emphatically, head lowering as he took a small step closer, aiming to gently nudge his brother's shoulder if allowed.

"We don't have to keep talking about it now if you don't want. Where's Ally... ? I'd... I'd love to meet her."

(This post was last modified: Jul 18, 2023, 12:30 AM by Eros.)

Archer

He barely heard his brother's words, just the echo through the chasm that had torn itself into Archer's soul. He didn't fully blink back into focus until he felt the touch on his shoulder. Archer looked and noted that his brother had gently nudged him. He blinked again, about to ask what it was he'd said, when Eros continued.

"We don't have to keep talking about it now..." and Archer paused. Now. Keep talking... now. His ears lifted slightly at the implication that there would be a later, another conversation for them to try talking about it again, one where maybe Archer could order his thoughts better. Now he knew the conversation would happen, rather than spin endlessly in his own head wondering what he would say, when he'd thought he would never see Eros again.

When he thought Eros would never want to see him again. Archer had never been so relieved to be wrong. He'd thought he hadn't wanted to see his brother either, but here they were and they weren't trading hurts the way they had last time.

Archer nodded, some of that relief shining through. "Yes... later," he said, the implication now firmly an assumption in his mind, even as their conversation turned back to Archer's previous olive branch. He looked back behind him again, to where their den was and where he'd previously been awaiting Ally after calling for her. It was... actually concerning she hadn't arrived yet. Maybe she'd heard them talking and been afraid? "She shouldn't be far... we were just getting ready to leave. I'm sure she's on her way..." he turned now, nodding for Eros to follow him back to their little cove, their temporary home.

Maybe there was one good thing to remember here after all.

Archer is very haggard and thin; it is obvious he is not doing well.

Eros couldn't help but mirror a small measure of his brothers concern, and moved to jog alongside Archer.

"Let's go find her then," he said gently, with a confidence he didn't necessarily feel- gods, what if he'd distracted her dad just long enough for her to die to? Eros could only imagine he'd dive into the swallet at that point.

His peach eyes would be sharp, nose twitching as he assisted Archer in tracking Ally down.