ammunition

<i>Light rain — Current Temperature: 38° F/3° C Afternoon.</i>

my weakness is that i care too much.

Clouds hung above the tree trops with a faded grey hue, and did not seem to be moving very fast. They specificly appeared to be drawn to the green forest, tempting to hide the sunshine from the members below. If it wasn't clear of their intentions a gentle sprinkle of rain they cried from the puffy depths to perhaps further force a darker gloom. The pale wolf seemed to hardly payed them any notice, they were nothing to her thick winter coat, the lighest of drops every ten seconds it seemed. The female was deep in thought, and the weather was only a small reflection of her mood. If it was not one thing, it was surely another, and her list of things to accomplish seemed never ending. While her future seemed like a thick myst of mystery.

She was not right by the den of Grizzly Hollow, but close enough within hearing range she could swiftly reach it just in case. She was seated at the base of a thick cedar tree, near the deep roots out of the little snow that adorned the forest floor in scattered patches. She was hoping to spot another member of the Hollow, even one of the youngest which might break her train of thought. A tired sigh, she leaned against the rough bark stretching her neck, and top of her skull against it as well. There she breathed the cool air, and closed her eyes to the dim lighting if for only ten seconds trying to think of absolutely nothing but the gentle pitter patter of rain.

(This post was last modified: Dec 28, 2011, 11:09 PM by Jaysyek.)

Raigo watched with golden eyes as the female leader of Grizzly Hollow settled against the tree. He had spent the day lounging near the heart of the territory; the pack's den. While the pups no longer need constant protection, he was still attempting to remain alert to their whereabouts at all times, and if they were not at the den, then it was his job to seek them out and make sure they were safe. Given the recent intrusion into the pack's marked territory and the potential threat she had posed to the two wolf pups, he was even more alert now than he had been before in making sure he knew where the young charges were. Almost fully grown now, they could handle themselves, but they shouldn't have to; not on their mother's lands.

Deciding to approach the white lady, Raigo eased forward onto his stomach. He had been laying next to a log, gentle rain water falling on his black nose every few minutes or so. He hardly noticed, nor cared. But as he rose up, he did notice with some disdain that mud had clung to the tip of his muzzle. Lifting a forepaw he batted it away irritably. Satisfied that he was not too ruffed up in appearance, he trotted over, tail wagging behind him as he approached her.

"Hi, Jayse," words were emphasized with a low woof. She didn't look all that amused today. "Everything alright?"

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my weakness is that i care too much.

The movements of pads against the ground would catch her attention, making her body tense wondering who was so close. Quick her nose would gently wrinkle to catch Raigo's scent, and her body slowly relaxed back against the cold bark. He was much closer than she'd noticed before, and she would peel her eyes open the closer he came, her chin leveling to it's normal place. She was welcomed by the sight of him, and her face lit with her pleasure in a modest smile. She would watch him make his way over, and bob her head offering a "Hey," back to the male.

A moment she would take in his thick figure, noting his health, and how much he had grown in these past months. He was hardly the small boy she had met, yet his golden eyes appeared the same, bright, and full of life. Her face would smooth upon his question, knowing she probably didn't seem at the best of moods. Nothing, and everything seemed entwined when she thought of answer for him. Borden was but a shadow, if that of his former self, and the intruder had her worried about the safety of the remaining members once more.

A sigh would tug from her throat, and she would shift too get more comfortable. "Best it can be,"she managed to answer with a weak smile, feeling he would understand some of the troubles. "How are you this fine day?"

(This post was last modified: Dec 28, 2011, 11:10 PM by Jaysyek.)

She didn't turn him away, which Raigo interpreted to mean he was allowed to venture closer. While he had looked upon Borden as a father figured almost as soon as he had come to Relic Lore with Vlardinara, it had taken longer for him to view Jayse as a mother-like figure. Truth be told, it was not until after Borden had left and it had just been the three of them, Elettra, Jayse, and himself, that he had realized just how much he respected the white she-wolf. And it was with concern that he approached her now, not wanting to be another burden upon her already sagging shoulders.

Legs contracted and Raigo settled down to his belly, looking up at her mismatched eyes as she answered his question. It wasn't really much of an answer, but even as he opened his mouth to inquire further, he closed it again. If she did not want to disclose her thoughts to him, that was perfectly acceptable. That same luxury did not apply to him, not that he had much to hide. Tail wagging idly behind him he opened his mouth again and answered, "Can't complain. Just...living. Sometimes I just feel like I don't do very much. Today is one of those days, I guess." It was a weird feeling to have, but it was the truth, nonetheless. Perhaps she would understand and offer some words of advice for how to get out of this rut.

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my weakness is that i care too much.

Eyes shifted to the motion of him drawing closer. One ear cocking in his direction, and a brow raised at his open mouth. He said nothing, and her face relaxed. Her answer hardly counted as much, but confessing to him all her troubles seemed thoughtless of her, and something she wasn't open to share with anybody. He had his own burdens to carry, and she struggled with the thoughts of Vlarindara. Should he know she was back, what she had placed upon her? She cleared her throat, but it was a silent action not to draw attention to her torn thoughts.

She tried to relax her tight muscles without making it looked force. When he spoke both ears lifted at his masculine tone. Her pale skull would tilt as he described his feelings. They weren't as upbeat, and it stroke a chord within her. How hard was it for him to see Vlar, and Borden go? They had to have been the closest thing to family, and she knew it had been different, probably hard, maybe even strange without them, and with her instead. After all the this time she'd like to think he felt apart of the the family, of those who had stuck with Grizzly Hollow. It was those feelings that would make telling the truth so hard. She would be silent clearly thinking about the Akreon's words. "Nothing wrong with taking a lazy day now, and then," she'd offer a smile, though it would fade when she added,"but feeling like your accomplishing nothing isn't the greatest feeling either." She sat up a little taller, tucking her tail close around her while staring off into the distant. She had guilt about not doing enough, but if she didn't take a breather she was bound to snap. Shifting back to him, she affectionately bumped the side of his muzzle. Then pulling back with a thin smile she said, "I hope you know you are free to wander if you get too bored. I know the pups would be up for an adventure out of the forest for a hunting trip or even to see something new." A glimmer of happiness seemed to spark in her eye, she trusted Raigo would keep them out of harm, and maybe it would rekindle good spirits for the hollow wolves. Perhaps another group hunt was in order, for the caribou Indru had told her about....when the pups were ready.

She would let him think upon her words, listening to the distant tune of the forest in hopes of being distracted. But all she could think of was Vlar, and her marred face. Those thoughts her eyes looked away from him for a second time. Decisions, decisions, but the Enap female could not be a coward, he had to know. Face turned once more to his golden eyes."And there seems to be many a lone wolf coming to the Lore with the pressing cold. Some more friendly and respectful than others, maybe you could gain a new acquaintance?" The idea was out there, but she wasn't insinuating he had too. She had scented many a young female, and a couple males with no ties to the Wildwood who he might relate to. Someone his own age could be good for him, and a loyal pack member would be a blessing to the group. But if he passed the idea she couldn't blame him, no one stuck around very long it seemed. "Or run into an old one, like.....Vlar."

Raigo Akreon was in an odd place right now. All he wanted was to curl up in his den and sleep away his days. There wasn't anything else to do, really. He could pound his paws against the same track around the borders of Grizzly Hollow all he wanted, but nothing was going to come of it. The intruder who had invaded Grizzly Hollow territory had not returned, so life had returned to normal. He had been avoiding Borden, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He had often wondered what he would saw when he did finally come face to face with the previous leader of the pack, but every time he began to formulate an answer behind his golden eyes, he pushed the thoughts away. There was too much there that he was unwilling to deal with for the time being, and he would let it go until it was finally time to vanquish that particular demon.

Ears perking as Jayse spoke, he listened to her suggest taking the Grizzly Hollow youths on an adventure of some sort. Perhaps! Who else in the pack loved to explore as much as he did? Grin found its way to the youth's handsome face and he nodded his head enthusiastically. Mind was already running away with ideas - had they seen the mountain? Would they like too? Or maybe to the snow drifts that were beginning to form in the open fields of Relic Lore? Or to the frozen lakes and rivers? There were many places he could take them, perhaps give their mother a break from baby-sitting. Though at six months old now, the youths of the pack hardly needed a constant eye to watch over them.

The suggestion to leave the territory for a bit for his own personal amusement was also given, and Raigo cocked his head to the side curiously. A friend? That concept alone seemed foreign to him. The wolves of Grizzly Hollow were his family, but he didn't not necessarily view them as friends. This conversation with Jayse, though terribly one-sided, was the most sentimental one he had had since his accidental run in with Borden many months ago, back when he was still leader of the pack. The yearling did not really have friends, and perhaps it was time to change that. Maybe he could recruit the new friend to the pack, so he could have them by all the time? That would be something. Somebody to beat the same trails down every day, or to help him teach the pups what limited knowledge he had.

But Jaysyek's last words destroyed all potential thoughts in Raigo's head. With a start, he was on his feet, clearly agitated. Eyes grew wide with shock, and his ears were fully erect, as if he had misheard her and was trying to catch her words again. Vlar? How long had it been since he had seen his white furred sister? She had left without words as well, just like Borden. "How do you know?" His voice was soft, a whisper. He couldn't believe what it was he was hearing from her, and he had to be absolutely sure. Just like his thoughts of Borden, thoughts of ever reuniting with his sister had been pushed out of his mind. Why dream of the impossible?

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my weakness is that i care too much.

Here yes were careful, looking, trying to decipher his quiet thoughts. He appeared to like the idea of taking the young ones somewhere, thinking where they might go or do she presumed. Everyone needed a change in scenery once, and awhile did they not? She was a little surprised he did not speak, but she did not interupt letting him ponder what he may. The idea of a friend seemed a bit odd maybe, but she knew what it was like to be lonely. At his age she had had her own siblings for companionship, and knew there was nothing quite like having someone your own age to do things with. She assumed he'd never really had that, maybe a little with Vlar, and sorta with the pups. Nothing the same, as a playmate, and someone to confide in. She doubted she was much for company, and entertainment. She had not really played in awhile, except if the pups prompted the start of a game. She smiled through the quiet, happy at least he was thinking over her suggestions.

It was too easy for everything to be cimmerian these days. Of coarse, Vlar's name had the effect she suspected, breaking the good of everything she had started and setting him on edge. She'd never really known how he had felt without her, and had never really asked. Like Borden the topic had became taboo. No one asked, and no one mentioned it. Keeping her composure, she drew in but a single breath seeming to collect her words, the story of what had happened that day. If she were not the sole leader of the Hollow she would have wanted to hang in head in shame, but she did not. She sat upright, and kept her face smooth, so serious than it once had been. She recalled how Vlar hadn't wanted Raigo to know about her return, but Jaysyek felt he should know, and what she had done to his sister.

Slowly she started, her words far off like they didn't belong to her."Just before Borden returned, I was out on a patrol and I spotted her just past the lines of Grizzly Hollow. I made it clear she wasn't welcome back, and I would let you know she was around. She told me she thought it best if you didn't know, and she asked me how everyone was. I told her it was nothing to her more or less. But it didn't end well. She challenged me on the spot, and she left with my marks on her face." It was clear she wasn't proud of what had transpired. Her mismatched eyes drifted to the golden pair of the lad, waiting for what he might say or do. It would be no surprise he became mad at her, and she braced herself for what was to come.

On his feet, Raigo began to pace back and forth, turning about in a circle as Jayse answered his question. His heart was pounding wildly, and even as he paused in his steps in response to her admittance that she had attacked Vlar and left wounds, he wondered if that particular vital organ would push through his chest. That was the only logical explanation, considering that he had just heard news that completely changed his world. His sister, the one who had brought him to Relic Lore in the first place, had now returned. Additionally, she had returned not only to Relic Lore, but to Grizzly Hollow. But, she had not been welcomed back, and rage reared its ugly head. Golden eyes met Jayse's mix-matched ones defiantly, and he growled softly at her. But he checked himself, and began pacing back and forth again, eyes narrowed, brain trying to process what it was he was hearing. Why had Vlar been turned away when Borden had been taken back? And he asked the question, voice half-challenge, half-question, "Why was Borden allowed to return then? Vlar left just like he did, but you turned her away. Why?"

Even before his leader could answer the question, Raigo whirled around so he was facing the opposite tree, back to the white lady as a thought occurred to him, a part of what she had said that had not immediately registered. Why had Vlar not wanted him to know she was back? Did she not miss him? Did she not care about him? "Why would she not want me to know?" The agitation was gone from his voice, and for the first time in a while, his age shown through. He cared deeply for the she-wolf who had taken him under her wing and kept him alive during that first year of his life. It hurt, cut that same racing heart to the core to know that she no longer cared about him or his feelings.

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my weakness is that i care too much.

His anger did not slip past her eyes. This was why she hadn't wanted to tell him, but doing the right thing was hardly easy, and such was the case. None the less she did not react to it. Neither his stare, nor his growl ;she let it roll off of her. If one thing she could do it was to let him vent this out. It was his right to be mad at her she had long decided, and the leadess had expected it to some degree. Despite how deep down her instincts might scream to reprimand him, it was her heart that kept her steady. A calm, emotionless facade she did not move from her spot unwavered by his mix of emotions. She watched with a stare of indifference, only prepared to defend herself if it came to such. All the while she tried not to let her own frustration get the best of her. When he spoke perturbed by why she would deny Vlar a home when Borden had been accepted she had answer on the tip of her tongue, but something stopped her from answering. His movement of occurrence perhaps?

The lad had realized what Vlar had said to her, about him, and now the question she had been waiting for most was voiced. A sigh, she shifted her eyes down thoughtful because he deserved the truth. She wasn't positive she could give it to him, as she never had understood Vlar. Standing up she was tempted to close the gap between them, but did not. "I don't know if I'm the one who can answer that for you. She said something about you being safer here, but nothing more about why I shouldn't tell you." She wanted to add Vlarindara was likely ashamed of how many times she'd left, and especially without telling him. The lady felt it best to let that remain her private thought.

Slowly she approached him, and put her nose to his cheek before withdrawing it. "I'm sorry, really I am. That's why I'm telling you this. I thought you should know she was back, and you not her could decide what was best for you. You're not a pup any more," she said keeping a level tone while she walked past him. She stopped, and turned her head. "Raigo I wish I could have told her she could come back, but she came and went to many times breaking my trust, and faith in her. As for Borden I can't really say if he is even going to stay."

It hurt, he couldn't even begin to explain how much. What was it with everybody around him wanting to go off in their own directions? Borden had left his family with seemingly little second thoughts to how they might react and get along without him. Vlarindara had done the same thing, and until just now, Raigo had had no idea that she had returned. Growling in frustration, the youth snapped his teeth angrily at the air. He might be hypocritical for thinking like that, having left Grizzly Hollow on his own without telling anybody. But that had been a simple mistake - a simple hunting mistake. Besides, he had been a yearling then, it was expected of him that he could go out and explore the world without being subject to his leaders. Wasn't that the right of the young?

Stiffening, the youth went stock still as his leader approached him, worried that she would reprimand him for his behavior. While she could not blame him for being angry, that didn't mean she would not punish him for mouthing off to him. So he turned his head away, shame creeping onto his face and steadily taking the place of anger. But she did not bite, she did not growl, and she did not speak harshly. Instead, she touched his cheek. And that simple touch was all it took. The tears of rage had begun to collect at the corners of his eyes, but they did not fall until the white she-wolf offered him the one thing that he was craving: comfort. The words she said were almost lost on him, so focused his mind was on his grief. But he caught the end of it, and he raised his eyes to meet hers as she walked passed him. "I am sorry, Jayse." For what, he did not say, but his watery eyes gave the message clearly. For his outburst, for Vlarindara breaking her promise to the leader, for Borden's abandonment. Only one was his fault, but the white lady suffered from them regardless.

Approaching her, he lowered his head respectfully, the sudden rage of fury that had consumed him resigned - grief was now his current state of emotion. Tentatively, he licked her chin and then took a step backward. She would understand what he needed to do. "Vlar. If she's still here, in Relic Lore, I need to talk to her. I need to know why she left, and why she...lied. I need to know, for me." He didn't outright ask, but his tone was implicit. He would not go if she did not want him to - his loyalty was forever to his pack first, her personal desires second.

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