Now he looked back on it, he felt a pang of guilt. He knew how much the River wolves meant to Naira. She wasn’t the type to want her own pack, not like him, she wasn’t greedy. She was a healer, a team player; her life had been just perfect for her until he had come along. Still. He did warn her. He had told her that by letting him in, he would fuck up her life for her. True to his word, never one to lie, he had done just that. He had caused this. If he had just kept his mouth shut, kept his feelings to himself. If he had never told her how he felt, continued to bottle up himself. Hell, he was even debating running away and never seeing her again- surely that would have been a better choice than this!
An outward sigh escaped his lips and up into the warm air of spring. He’d been perched upon one of the many boulders which lay strewn across the outskirts of their territory. This one was higher up, giving him a wonderful view of the lake. The water glimmered, sparkled under the sun. The lake was still, quiet. Warm air enveloped his body and his black fur absorbed the heat, warming him to the very core, yet he still felt cold inside. Across the lake, he could just make out the entrance to their den, hidden to anyone who didn’t know where it was. From this vantage point, it looked like a prison more than his home.
Since they had split to explore, he had avoided Naira. Everything had been so messed up, he didn’t even know what to say to her. They hadn’t spoken since it had all happened. They hadn’t even discussed the fact she was carrying his children. Part of him was angry at her for that, but the other part just felt guilty. Hell, he even felt guilty for the River wolves he too had abandoned. The lead female had been kind, allow him in, sharing her home. Triell was there and he had always liked that guy, now he was going to hate him too. Everyone hated him. Strangers, acquaintances, even his own “mate” hated him.
Gaining his own pack wasn’t supposed to feel like this. He was supposed to feel proud. Accomplished, and instead he just felt guilty and like utter crap. With a snort, he lowered his head to rest upon his paws and simply let his grey eyes watch the lake.
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