Drooping Willows running around leaving scars

<i>Night; Clear — Current Temperature: 37° F/3° C </i>

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. He felt feverish; infected. He needed to get away. He needed time and space to breathe - to cool off. The Sacred Grove was just confining, grating on his nerves and chafing on his spirit, driving him near mad until he'd burst out of it, across the swollen rivers and creeks, disappearing south as the sun slipped towards a bloody horizon. For a moment, the world was red and orange, the sunset lighting filtering down through the trees and casting everything in a fiery glow; minutes ticked by, the sun sank further, and the brilliance died down. Deep purple bruised the heavens now, a couple of stray clouds painted crimson by the setting sun. Light bled from the world and this was the Zeitgeber for many species, be they plants or animals, but not so much for wolves and certainly not for Ice. He prowled like a hungry demon across the face of Relic Lore, leaving large paw prints in the soft spring ground as he went forth. Easy to follow, should one wish - but one should not, for his mood was nothing short of terrible. As darkness rolled in like waves coming to shore, Ice's urgent strides lengthened into a casual lope, carrying him south by west and into forests he had not traversed before. Spacious, was the first word that came to mind as he passed tree trunks that smelled foreign, brushing against the clinging, hanging hands of weeping willows - skeleton fingers, bare of green, nothing but whips and lashes against his hide and mind. Snarling, Ice chose a path free of trees, not wishing to feel their ghostly touches along his spine. Enough with the night wind, increasing rapidly, hammering against him, stroking his fur with fingers of desire and forcing tears to his eyes. Vision blurred, Ice slid to a breathless stop, ears flat against his skull. Damn, it sure was windy, ripping against him and threatening to push him aside. Keening, caught off guard, Ice turned the other way, offering his backside to the strong wind. It howled through the trees, the branches of the willows swaying, whipping in the gusts, creating a sound that was as unpleasant as it was enchanting. It seemed to make the night darker. It definitely served to cool his anger, though. Naira's betrayal still stung, and coupled with Indru's absence, it was near driving him mad. Swift River's densite was ruined by the flood, and everything he saw just spoke of the gaping void the pack was tearing in his heart. It felt like his soul was weeping blood at times, and the confusion - the enigma of Naira's behavior, her very essence neither black nor white - was tearing away the last shreds of ice cold patience. Spring had already set a fire in his blood, and the recent happenings had done nothing but feed it. But here, alone in an unknown forest with only a whipping, roaring wind for company, he felt infinitely better.. which was both strange and unnerving. Briefly, he growled under his breath, but the sound was lost in the din of a night-time storm. His gaze flung itself heavenward, where the brilliant stars were slowly being covered by clouds driven in by the wind. They were coming, massing in the west, but not yet here - not quite. Only a few scattered stratus clouds were above him. Feeling entirely out of place, and yet it all was so perfect, Ice settled down on his haunches and threw his entire head back. The wind pushed against his sturdy frame, ripped at his long, thick fur and rushed past throwing half-heard whispers and screams at him; and the stars, the stars gazed serenely down, reflecting in his solemn eyes. For the first time in so long, Ice spoke to them again, spoke to his lifelong companions and beacons of hope and guidance. "When demons dance and the winds blow, when joy and warmth seems a lifetime ago, who guards and guides all of us lost .. but the stars that shine above like frost?" And the world was at peace. .ice aesir

<i>open for anyone and everyone! :)</i>

let the stars above shine in your soul

The sun goes down, the stars come out, and all the little wolfies lay down their heads and go to bed. Ava had followed that routine faithfully, for more than two years straight, up until a few days ago. Following her acquaintanceship with her pack's second-in-command and some newcomer with a drawl, she had found that night would fall over the mountains and she simply couldn't find peace. Her mind was wandering too far to bring it back. The night they had formed Poison Path was a frantic night - they fled with urgency, which was expected as three of the four had been fleeing a pack. Ava knew that, and slept just fine. But then the details came forward: Naira, the former pack's second, and Rhysis, a subordinate, had conceived and stolen away with another one of the packmates in the middle of the night. Oh, Ava had heard the lead female's cruel snarl echoing behind them as they ran that night, singing a devastating song of betrayal and promising repayment. Now she knew just why the woman's cold words had been so severe.

That night Ava had watched the brilliant sunset, the colors dripping down into one another like a wet painting until finally the sky was black once again. She had planned on watching the glittering stars reflected against the lake shore, as she had the night before and the night before that, awaiting exhaustion to finally take her down. But as she picked out familiar formations of stars against the water's surface, a desperate fire began to burn in the muscles of her legs. Suddenly the Poison Path sylph could no longer bear the pain, and she disappeared from the packlands within minutes. Her dark form snaked through the climbing mountain paths, and for the first time ever at her ascent she did not look over her shoulder to her home. She only leaped over the ridge of the mountain and began the downhill race. Her strides were long, running to each cliff and rock in her path and leaping from it, her black body outstretched and poised for landing and feeling the wind beneath her belly. It felt like flying - she missed it desperately.

When Ava hit the bottom of the mountains, as they began to bleed into the forest. Stone turned to soil beneath her paws as she fled, feeling the familar give beneath her strong legs as she pushed forward. The night was windy, which awakened her from her confusion greatly. Every stride she took was another smack in the face of cold air and a variety of smells - deer, and squirrels, and grass, and willows, and something else coming from the north. <i>Swift River</i>, she knew now. Her pace slowed slightly, a nervous touch shining in her amber-colored eyes as she looked in the direction of the land they called home. From here, she could not see it, but the wind carried to her the faint scent of their borders. She couldn't help but shudder before she continued forward.

But the movement of her legs was stopped short, as another great gust of wind blew past her from the left, carrying with it the strong scent of Swift River. Her dark chin lifted to the sky, head craning in all directions to attempt to find the wolf before he found her. For all she knew, the wolf had eyes on her the entire time she was running. Did she turn back, return to her conflict? It seemed wise, but adrenaline grasped her heart so tightly - she could feel it like a cold fluid rushing through her veins. So instead of the wise move, the dark huntress slunk low to the ground and approached the scent of the supposed enemy pack through the willows.

Fear nearly caused her to drop dead when suddenly, a voice cut through the howls of the wind. She inched forward and focused through the trailing branches of the willows to spot a large, grey male. In the moon's delicate lighting he appeared almost silvery yet what struck her most was the fierce scent of his pack, almost as if she could see it radiating off his body. Ava realized she herself reeked of her allegience - Athena and the newcomer, most freshly, but also of Rhysis' territory, and Naira. It was too late to turn back, however. Feeling as though her heart were about to crawl up her throat, the dark female pushed through the willow's drapery and made herself visible.

"<b>Perhaps you'd tell me, then, how to take guidance from the stars,</b>" she started quietly, taking no more than a single step out from the willow's cover toward the male, "<b>because they seem only to haunt me.</b>" Ava's voice was gentle, and her posture was basically neutral. She held her spine straight, no pose of attack but only the poise that she was ready for action, if there would be any. Just two wolves, on unclaimed territory. Only her eyes betrayed her calm stature - they were vivid, alert, and would follow his every move.

(This post was last modified: Apr 04, 2012, 09:57 PM by Ava.)

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you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. Silence didn't answer him, as he had expected - a voice did. For half a heartbeat, he thought the stars had answered, but reason settled itself like a dull ache around his heart and his large head came around. The wind whipped around them, roaring, pushing clouds in, slowly covering the stars. Ice brought his pale eyes down from the heavens and onto the mortal standing near him. A dark she-wolf with glowing amber eyes watched him, having posed a question that he wasn't certain he should laugh or cry at. In silence he studied her, even as the wind ran past and nearly snatched every trace of her scent from the air, but he caught it anyway - Athena, Rhysis, Naira. A familiar spark of anger flashed across his soul, but it faded quickly, snuffed out by the raging wind. This female had not been in Swift River. She had not left them. She was merely aiding the traitors, but could he punish her for that? On the night he'd sought to be free from his own fury? To attack her for crimes she hadn't committed, would be to prove his quest for peace of mind a lie. And so, weariness settled in the place of seething fury, his blood cool as it pumped through his powerful body. The female was bold, to step into his presence, to softly ask questions the din of the wind nearly hid - but she was no fool. She was waiting for a reaction before settling her pose, perhaps vying for a peaceful encounter, but those shining eyes were quick, locked onto him the way one lock's onto prey. Disconcerting, but fully understandable. Ice blew out the air in his lungs, a long sigh that condensed in the air and rose as a pale cloud.. or would've, had the gust not scattered it the instant it slipped out of his maw. After so long of anger, this cold clarity felt purifying, and he gave her question more thought than one might've expected of the sometimes rather dim-witted wolf. Even as the very things they spoke of began to darken with the storm, Ice looked up at them. Hopefully it was too cold for a thunderstorm to break out, but if the Lagoon held enough warmth, it could possibly be possible... but if it truly began to rain and hail, he'd be upset. And run off. The wind was welcome, though. Slowly, his wandering eyes and wandering mind settled back on Ava. "Is there something in your past or present which you are still thinking of? A problem or an incident that you are not yet done with?" His voice was free of scorn and free of anger. It rang clear and true through the noise of the gale, soothing despite the volume needed to carry over the constant background noise. It was a relief to find himself incapable of anger, because anger was not one of his core elements. Anger was a hot emotion that incinerated reason and brought you to your knees. Anger was not who Ice was, and yet he'd lived in a perpetual state of aggression since the night Naira had run away. To find solace, and himself, in the presence of someone from her pack... Ironic. He decided not to think of it, but simply accept the strange gift he'd been given. Blinking, his eyes re-focused on Ava. "Something that the stars remind you of?" he prompted gently, knowing full well that this conversation was toeing insanity and delusions. The stars had ever been his beacon of hope, his leadstar, his guide, but how or why he could not say. He only knew that they soothed him, that talking to them sometimes gave him insight, and.. they were constant. Even when he'd been far from home on his first journey, hungry and cold and facing some obstacle, they'd been there, coming out at night to watch him, see him through the trial. To attribute intelligence, personality or even some sort of role to them was madness, but he couldn't escape it. Perhaps he was mad. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

Unmoving, she watched his eyes rove over her form, similarily studying him now that he had met her eyes. She was unable to read his expression, which alarmed her as it would alarm anyone else, though she did not make any move at all to show the rapid beating of her heart. It seemed like hours that she dark she-wolf stood, beaten by the night winds and pet by the willow's cold branches before finally the great male sighed. Without knowing what it meant, she inadvertantly relaxed. The silvery male had passed his judgement on her - now she could only wait to find out what it was. Patiently Ava allowed him to search the darkening sky before returning his gaze to her. His eyes were strikingly bright and pale, yet they seemed to hold no monstrosity within them.

Then he spoke, which entirely surprised her. Ava had anticipated his attack, and if not his attack then perhaps his mockery or some other form of cruel words. As the words fled his mouth she couldn't find any trace of sarcasm, nor did it seem as though he was attempting to humor her idiocracy. Was he genuinely responding? Mometarily the corners of her dark lips tugged upwards, as if she wanted to smile, but the gesture disappeared within half a second. It was not yet safe.

Still... Ava continued the interaction. One lanky leg slid forward slowly so he would see her approach before the rest of her body followed. She really only took one step forward because the willows, in all this battering wind, were beginning to bother her. They felt eerie and other-worldly and she needed very much to remain on earth for this time. Her head simply couldn't escape her now. Clearing her throat, she considered his words. What was still on her mind? Try as she might to place it, Ava wasn't sure at all what exactly was bothering her. "<b>I don't know what it is. Stars are supposed to remind me I have survived one day, and that another day is coming. Now, I don't know if that's what they mean.</b>"

On the surface it was apparent that the cogs in her mind were working hard: her nose was scrunched up and she squinted at her paws as though they might have the answer. What was it she was feeling? <i>Why</i> was she feeling whatever indescribable feeling it was? It seemed that asking herself that flicked a switch in her brain that started the reel of her life - little moving pictures, snippets of her memories, flashed in front of her eyes. Her loving parents, her protective older brothers, her two littermates, her baby twin siblings, all mashing up in an array of happy memories. Then the border skirmishes got worse. The fights began. The opposing pack took land, and lives, but most importantly, Patak and Pakshi. She felt the betrayal of the betas, the stiffness of her months under their rule, the grief of her mother's passing, the rush of freedom she felt when her brothers and she slowly left the lands to seek their own destiny. But for whatever reason, in her memory, she felt not freedom but immense guilt. She'd left behind her loving father, alone in a pack that had been taken from under him, with a family that had dwindled down to just two of his children remaining with him. Then she saw her littermates' faces as they approached her somewhere far away from the borders of their own pack. Back then it had meant that the family was finally free. Now, she knew it had only meant the family was finally broken. Father dead, mother dead, siblings dispersed.

Was that freedom?

No, it was no more free will and choice than it was she was simply lost. She recalled her dwindling health after she had left the company of her siblings, the way she crossed into the lands of Relic Lore nothing more than a dirty black-furred bag of bones. At that point, Rhysis had been her savior. Now in his pack, she wasn't sure what to think, except that she wasn't truly safe. The lands were well guarded and difficult to get to, but Ava knew they had enemies. Out of all the Poison wolves, she preferred Naira the most. Knowing that she, the Swift River second, had betrayed the pack out of no where brought a close-to-home pang of regret and worry and sadness. But still, she couldn't really say it was <i>guilt</i> keeping her up at night. Her jaws parted in an attempt to talk it out.

"<b>I feel as though-</b>" she sighed. The words in her head sounded incredibly stupid, and yet she decided to say her agley piece anyway. She glanced over at Ice almost embarrassingly, hoping he wouldn't roll his eyes at what she was about to say. "<b>I have planted myself a new life here, so the roots are in the ground, but they just haven't taken yet. The hold's not strong. And everything is just... uncertain.</b>"

Her plant girl metaphor had been incredibly silly, but at the end of her words a strength actually rose in her voice. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was the uncertainty of what she was doing, what she had done, what she was going to do. She didn't know her place, didn't even know if she had a place, knew she had no place anywhere else, couldn't all of that mess with one girl's mind? Suddenly she found herself looking intently at the male, her eyes shining with hope that he might be able to make sense of her at all. By her gaze, he could assume that if <i>he</i> was mad, surely Ava wasn't far from it either.

(This post was last modified: Apr 07, 2012, 02:03 AM by Ava.)

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you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. The land is silent... before the storm. The wind roared and toyed with the veil of willow branches as Ava disentangled herself further. Ice understood her reasons for not wanting to linger there, memories of their faint, ghostly touches imprinted on his skin like freeze brands. A shiver coursed down his spine, reliving the sensations of it. The world took on a dream-like haze, the blurred insight one might find when dreaming, as if staring at the truth through a fogged-up glass. It was there, but you couldn't fully comprehend it, just sense it over yonder, and even so thoughts followed different paths, and came up with different conclusions. If it wasn't for the chill bite of the angry spring wind, he might've been inclined to believe that he was dreaming this stormy encounter with a dark, bright-eyed young female in this forest of willows. Her voice was real enough, though, carrying through the discordant storm. Somehow, he got the notion she was surprised that he'd done nothing but sit here and offer some resemblance of soul-searching conversation. Perhaps he'd be surprised, too. In thoughtful silence he drank in her words, her voice, her eyes as she spoke. She, too, was thoughtful. Funny how they could concentrate on such fickle matters even as the wind howled and moaned around them, keening and whining through narrow slits in trees and rustling branches. The sky darkened further, and he kept himself from snorting. Ava was far more interesting than a storm, and the star's role in her life... He concluded that she'd led an uncertain life, a life where not even life could be taken for granted. True, Ice's past wasn't all sunshine and bunnies either, but he'd always had a bit of a weird approach to it. He'd never feared dying, not out of cockiness, but simply because he'd never dwelt on the prospect of it. To die was something that just wasn't in his books. He didn't know if he could, and wasn't too keen on finding out. In that sense, Ava seemed a lot more aware of her own mortality. Strange, to think of stars as cues to your own fragility, your own physical weakness - if skin is cut, it bleeds. If flesh is rendered from the bone, you cannot move. No air, means death. No blood, means death. So easy to die; drown, break a leg, infection. Fall on a sharp branch, a sharp rock. Get kicked in the head by a moose. Ice frowned. Surely she wasn't bothered with the stars because she was getting lazy and well-fed? It had to be that she was just getting tangled up in other thoughts. The stars couldn't change purpose in her life, without her changing perspective. Something had happened, to make her wonder, to think, thoughts perhaps thought at night, when the stars were out.. So stars became the thoughts, and the thoughts gave her no rest. Happy with this conclusion, he watched her, a pale silent giant sitting in the raging wind. Rugged fur blew about his face, and he shifted slightly. Too long in this, and his back would go numb, but this was too interesting to pass up. It wasn't every day that he got to have philosophical conversations with strangers.. especially not strangers you had screamed at when they ran away with your friends, your family. He'd never talked about that, not with Cori and not with Triell. He'd not had to say anything to Cori on that night, and ever since, he'd been afraid to mention Naira and put his leader through it all again. And with Triell.. he just wasn't certain they were close enough for that kind of talk, or if it was strange of him to dwell on it. But fact remained, the betrayal cut like a hot knife, deep into his heart. He doubted he'd glean anything of their whereabouts or even their reasons from talking to Ava, but as she'd picked up on his invitation to talk about stars, he'd wrestled those things from his mind. Naira and Rhysis had no place here, not tonight. Tonight, it was just him and this girl, and whatever thoughts they'd decide to share. A safe night for secrets, for no one further away than two yards would hear what passed between them. She began again, halting midway, reshaping her words. Ice's ears perked up despite the wind robbing them of all warmth, and he nearly told her to go on when she tried again. Roots? Uncertain? She wasn't happy with her pack, or was it just that stability was foreign to her? His mind ran over her previous statement again and his interpretation of it. Mortality, fragility; and then, stability. Her stars represented change, and perhaps she wasn't certain of what to feel about that change. Wolves are creatures of habit, but seek stability all the same. Sometimes, those two things can clash - Ice, always having had wandering feet, was living proof of that. While he diligently guarded his pack's borders, he sometimes found himself at some far corner of Relic Lore. "Change," he said, the depth of his voice revealing in just how many layers his thoughts ran. Deep, like the rivers of his home. Ironic. "Change is the essence of life, and yet, it can be so hard to accept and get used to." Ice's large head tilted sideways, his pale eyes looking even more bleak in the lack of light. "I know that afraid is not the best choice of words here, but it's the most fitting I can think of. Are you afraid of the life you have planted? Or of the changes? If it was the right thing to do? Of having these new and fragile roots torn up?" Perhaps for one who's words indicated a lack of stability, the prospect of losing the stability you had found would be...upsetting. Finding himself curious and drawn in, Ice's ears were alert, waiting, wanting words. In spite of himself and the grudge he carried towards the girl's pack, he found himself genuinely intrigued; caring. That she was willing to share in such mad talk with someone who had no reason at all to treat her gently proved a strong, independent will - and a deep soul. He found himself wanting to know.. wanting to help. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

As the night sky darkened even further Ava spared a honey-tinted gaze upward. It seemed the word was trying to snuff out the starlight by shrouding the little dots of light with its blackness, yet it failed entirely. Against the pitch-black sky their subjects of thought were vivid, almost as if they were burning brightly like candles above them. For the moment she considered their strength to be greater than that of the moon. Perhaps it was the starlight that bathed the land after nightfall? Returning her sight to Ice, she felt strangely comforted by his presence. The black female didn't dare mistake his patience and kindness for weakness, but she did wonder why she was supposed to be so fearful of him. Because she truly <i>was</i> supposed to stay away from Swift River, or any other packs for that matter, to lay low and reveal nothing. She had said nothing to betray the Poison Path, but that wasn't a big enough reason to take the edge off of encounters with enemy wolves. He was far larger than her, stronger, probably smarter as well. If they fought she could not win, she could only run and pray he'd tire out before she did. And yet for some reason the regularity of her heartbeat had returned.

The wolf's slight shift in posture brought her away from the reasons for their encounter, shifting her mind back into reality - if that was how she could really consider the moment in time. Perhaps her vision wasn't so dream-state as it was an alternate reality. The moonlight came in streaks as the willow's wispy branches danced in the violent winds, creating the strangest illusion that the very earth was sparkling. She saw it reflected in the male's pale eyes, shining at her through the spinning darkness. Cacophony surrounded them, the mixture made of leaves rustling and winds howling and branches clattering, not to mention their own melodious voices snaking through the whirlwind of sounds.

His was the next to sound, clear compared to the loud snarl of the wind that whipped the fur of her chest as she stood in its path. Despite the clarity of his words and the knowledge that what he was speaking was true, Ava felt the immediate urge to reject the fact. Why was change the only guarantee in life? Why did they seek stability when it was literally unattainable? She turned her head away for a moment, as though physically turning away from the notion, and stared at the swaying willows while he continued. <i>If it was the right thing to do.</i> There, he had basically figured it out for her. She blinked in suprise, although she kept staring at the surroundings. "<b>I guess I really do wonder if I have done the right thing. I can't stop myself from seeing it from both sides. However blindly I swore my allegience,</b>" which was very damn blindly, "<b>I cannot turn my back on something that saved me. But at the same time, why is what I've chosen so... <i>wrong</i> to everyone else but us? And if I wasn't literally dying when the choice was given to me, would that have made a difference at all?</b>" In that moment she wasn't sure if it was Rhysis himself, or the pack which now gave her a home and food that she was calling her saviour. And despite the wanderlust that festered in both her feet and mind, she truly was beginning to love the challenge of life in the mountains. If she could just turn off the part of her where she questioned everything, Ava would be completely content with her life.

Finally looking back at Ice, it was clear that she couldn't.

A short sigh escaped her as she slunk to her haunches. It was wearying to stand so stiffly for so long, and the constant wind was nearly freezing her into a statue. Not only that but Ava now felt just a limited presence of threat, and even that was only in her own head. She knew he was <i>supposed</i> to be one, though physically there was not a sign of it. The safety she felt within the apotropaic fencing of the willows became apparent as she went on, "<b>I'm so stuck in between proving that I am worth something and wondering if it is worth me. Everyone there is so foreign, and they underestimate me.</b>" A low growl had crept into her words. She was quite bitter about it. Ava hadn't yet figured out if it was her own neuroticism and ego that made her feel so alienated, or if everyone else was uncaring and arrogant. As the thought popped in her head she felt immediate guilt. Maybe they were just guarded. The female was careful, and clever as well, but she was more than willing to be open. "<b>Maybe that's to be expected. Maybe I just wasn't prepared for it,</b>" Ava added softly, basically admitting to Ice that he was correct in his diagnosis. Closing her eyes, she attempted to find clairvoyance from the words they were speaking.

(This post was last modified: Apr 08, 2012, 09:33 PM by Ava.)

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you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. The wind buffeted him and he kept swaying to its tug-of-war, unable to clearly predict when it would lull and when it would gust. Truly, it was getting violent, and every once in a while his wary eyes would drift from the black girl and onto the surrounding trees while his ears strained to catch the telltale creaks of breaking wood. He had no intention to get trapped under a tree, and with the intensity of tonight's winds, he had to stay alert if he wanted to avoid it. Likely some tree in this whipping willow forest was old and with fragile roots. He gave a snort of laughter that was snatched away by the wind. Wouldn't that just be dandy, a tree falling even as they spoke of roots, and he could tell her that she should be glad it wasn't her roots. It seemed that his humor had really hit the lows, and as he blinked wind-induced tears from his eyes, he gave his head a small shake. No point thinking about it. If a tree fell nearby, it did. If it tried to fall on him or on Ava.. they'd best be quick on their feet. Sitting down wasn't an ideal preparation, but he found that his energy didn't extend so far as to care about that particular detail. Dark silhouettes swayed at the horizon, but he gazed at them only for a moment before focusing on the other creature of flesh. In the wake of his words she looked aside, as if facing him was suddenly a task too heavy to tackle. His head slid to the side in a tilt, a mannerism he must've picked up from Corinna... Why did that make him sad? He was grateful for the distraction Ava proved, banishing all other thoughts from his mind. Truly, for one who preferred to think as little as possible most of the time, Ice's mind had many hidden nooks were so many thoughts lay unthought, just waiting for the moment to spring upon him and force him to think them. When those times came, he brooded like there was no tomorrow, and found that one could see the same thing from so many angles it made his head hurt. "Did you hear us the night Naira, Rhysis and Athena ran?" he asked, softly. He wasn't certain if this she-wolf was the one that had accompanied them when they fled the Grove or not, but chances were it was. "Did you hear the raw pain, the fury, the anger, the sorrow? Did you hear our hurt?" Despite the anger the memory could still invoke in him, he found it gone, now. His voice was quiet as he spoke. He didn't judge Ava for being with those traitors, for she had never betrayed. At lest, he didn't think he did. He wasn't sure. "And why did it hurt so much, you might wonder? Because we cared. We trusted. We placed faith and value, in Naira most of all. She saved Kisla when the river flooded. She hunted with us, offered to teach our young of herbs. Corinna trusted her, and in a time when her mate is gone..." It all came back to Indru, all the time. "It felt like having your heart ripped out, stranger girl. It felt as if the stars were torn down, as if the world shattered. It wouldn't have surprised me if the dead walked the land again, or streams ran uphill. Trust is a fickle thing, and we trusted. She broke it, and it goes against everything I've ever been taught, or witnessed. How could she? Why did she?" He gave his head a small shake. "In a time when we would've needed her the most-" Theoretically. Without Indru, there would be no pups. "-she abandoned us, for something Cori cannot have without Indru. And when someone makes you feel like your heart is being ripped out through your chest... it's not a wound that heals easily.. if ever." He fixed his silver eyes on her amber ones. "That is why it is wrong, to us." Maybe she would understand, maybe she wouldn't. He sighed, thoughtful, uncertain of why he'd told her all of that. Did he need her to understand why Swift River was so upset with Naira and Rhysis fleeing? Or was it for Ava's own sake that he explained it? It doesn't matter. The words were spoken, and couldn't be called back. "You make me think your doubt springs from the fact that we are unhappy with how your pack was founded," he said, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice. She'd sunk down on her haunches, as if trying to relax in this hell-sent wind. He was cooling rapidly himself, and if he didn't say something terrible to make her run back to wherever she'd come from, they'd have to continue their conversation afoot. "But does it really make a difference? It's a pack, it's got a future, pups on the way..." This time, he couldn't keep the bitterness out, and his voice faded into stormy silence. "A pack should be built on trust, on love, a genuine desire to protect and cherish those you call pack mates." Many swore false allegiance to Swift River too, disappearing without a word. They didn't understand what pack truly meant. He had no idea how this new pack operated, but Naira was gentle and Rhysis had seemed a good sort, until he'd knocked their Second up and stolen her and another subordinate in the night. He doubted every word the black male had ever spoken to him since that had happened. "Look, I'm not going to caparison this with talks of purposes and meaning, or roll it up in a wad of cotton as to not break your bones... But with so many doubts and concerns running through your head, do you really fit there? Is it really were you want to be? Either you make a stand and beat someone up to make them understand you and your value, or you do the dishonorable thing and ditch them." Ice would be surprised if she did the latter. Ditching them was exactly what Naira and Rhysis had done with Swift River, and.. if he didn't dislike that pair so much, he definitely would try to talk Ava out of such a thing if it caught her fancy. As it was, he found the hypocrisy lodged so firmly in him that even if he'd try to say something to make her stay with her current pack if she began to sway, it'd be a complete lie. Ice hated lies. "I'm not going to lie to you. I wouldn't cry if your pack fell down around your ears, for it is born of something I find myself unable to forgive or forget. But you, and others you might've gathered, did not partake in their crimes." He gave his head a small shake. "Perhaps all of us are in doubt, sometimes. Sometimes.. things happen, that you wonder if they could've turned out differently, and if it would've been better if they did. Most often, there's no way to figure out, and to think of it just hurts your head. When it is actually happening, though.. you tend to stick to the familiar. You don't dare to take a leap into a future that could be worse than the one you already have. Consider this. You currently seem uncertain about pretty much everything your life is founded on. Say, I offer you a place in Swift River, either just because I'm a damned kind fool or for a piece of information, such as Naira's whereabouts. Even if you wanted, would you dare?" He gave her a moment to think on it. "You can make your own future, you know. There, here, wherever you want to. I don't blame you for sticking with something that saved your life. I know how heavy some promises can be." He felt like he'd been talking for years, as if his opinions kept flowing across each other and changing.. as if he couldn't really get it out the way he wanted to, to make her understand. How can you make someone else understand that which you can't really understand yourself? Ice wasn't certain it was even possible. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

Unlike her companion, the dark she-wolf was quite oblivious to the growing storm in the surroundings, for she was much too concerned with the storm that had been festering in her mind for far too long. There was not enough concern in her body to give to the willows' branches as they whipped behind her, or to the wind as it cried louder and louder each time that it snaked between the two wolves, practically trying to knock them over. Ava's brooding was far too mentally consuming to notice that the weather was fighting for her attention.

<i>Did you hear us?</i> Ava finally gave movement in the form of a shudder, caused not by the chills of the wind but the memory of their snarls echoing behind them as they ran for it, her scent contributing to the reason why they weren't able to follow them too far. Even with his judgement-free tone, she refused to meet his eyes, fearing that the anger and resentment and pain he spoke of would be reflected in his gaze instead of his words. But Ava took the brunt of it and listened closely, especially as he spoke of Naira. Out of the Poisoned wolves back home she had grown to love Naira the most. She'd even given thought to studying beneath their tawny leader, to find medicinal herbs the way she could. Of the female wolf she thought nothing but the best, even knowing she had betrayed the Swift River wolves - betrayed the wolf she was speaking to - Ava could not find it in her to disapprove of Naira in any way. Delicately she picked up her head at the small fact Ice dropped, that Swift River was lacking one of its leaders, and she felt sympathy well in her chest. When she looked back to the male, there would be an inkling of understanding growing within her expression.

Ava came thisclose to correcting him, that her name was not stranger girl, but rather it was Ava, before she shut her barely parted jaws and considered if it was bravery or foolery that was controlling her actions now. It wasn't his response to it that she feared, but Rhysis'; in the back of her mind she considered what he'd do to her if he found out she was here tonight. Truthfully Ava knew it was practically harmless - in fact, it was probably better for the both of them to speak. It didn't matter that she and Ice were speaking to each other, necessarily, but it was clear there were feelings within both the wolves that would only cause turmoil if left to bubble within their souls any longer. Regardless, Rhysis could take it as the very scornful betrayal Ice was talking about. He could take it as fraternizing with the enemy. Disloyalty. Worthy of exhile, or <i>death</i>. So she kept her name to herself, one measly speck of proof to claim she had never been here at all.

But she continued to hold his gaze as he spoke, reminding herself his explanation was not akin to him scolding her for what Rhysis and Naira and Athena had done that night... although with his sigh and attention change she did find a little relief. Despite the clear bitterness in the words that sprung from his jaws, she found them strangely reassuring. Quietly she interjected, "<b>It's not so much that I don't like where it came from... maybe that I don't know where it is going. What is pups, the future of the pack, and growth together from the very beginning, if there is an eminent threat laying over our heads?</b>" Even as the dark female spoke, there was less strength to the words she was saying. Ice had a point. It <i>was</i> the pack she had sworn her loyalty to, and it was indeed blooming with minimal bumps. It formed like a list within her head: Two leaders, a second, three subordinates, and little ones one the way. A beautiful territory, a variety of game, a well-hidden den. Any wolf could make home out of that. Why was she so reluctant to? <i>A pack should be built on trust, on love, a genuine desire to protect and cherish those you call pack mates.</i> Perhaps that was the reason why. She knew almost nothing of those packmates she was to love and trust and protect at all costs, but why was it that she knew so little? Crookedly she would smile at herself, shaking her dark head. She had though Athena to be guarded, though she never truly looked at herself. Maybe her effort had not been strong enough yet.

Her little smile disappeared immediately as he began again. His advice was entirely practical and true, but the outright words shocked her a little. Leaving was always a possibility. Who said she didn't have the option of flipping her tail up and saying "I'm sick of this shit!" and strutting away to create her own destiny. But those were the fantasies of fools. Life was much too cruel to allow for such happiness easily. Critically she considered his words, thoughts reeling through her mind quicker than the winds howled around them. No where in his many words Ice he outright tell her what was better - to stay and prove herself, or to leave and carry on her own way. Though a while ago, when she was laying before the star-studded lake unable to sleep, she had hoped desperately for somebody to just tell her what was right and what to do, Ava actually found herself grateful for the wolf's flexible and non-cottony advice.

"<b>There's something valueable in me that I could give to support a pack, I know it. And yes, it is a heavy promise that I made - and quite a debt that I owe as well. I may belong to a pack birthed from dishonor but I don't have to contribute that to its future. You are entirely right - wondering why something happened and what could've gone better is just nothing but a headache, and a few nights of lost sleep. Maybe it is a wobbly bridge I'm standing on, but eventually every bridge leads to solid land. It has to, it is built upon it. </b>" A teeny smile had crept into the corner of her lips as she spoke, tugging upwards. The uncertainty hadn't been entirely cleared, of course, but it had been shelved, perhaps permanently. "<b>Sadly, then, I'd theoretically reject your offer to join Swift River, not only because I can build my future however I want to, but because that's just a death sentence in wait.</b>" The female's demeanor was returning, as evidenced by her joking tone.

She turned her head and gazed through the thrashing trees in the direction that the mountains lay. Though she couldn't see them from their secluded gathering, she could feel them tugging for her to return and prove herself. Ava turned back to Ice once more, a returned life shining in her amber eyes.

"<b>If you and Swift River come for us in want of revenge, make sure you say hello before the carnage begins.</b>" She half-joked, a toothy smile the evidence of her gratuity to his words.

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you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. Her words evoked a bitter, short laugh in the large male, and he gave his head a slow shake. "Touché," he muttered. It must seem really strange, that he sat here damning her leaders and saying he wouldn't mind seeing her pack fail, and at the same time.. encouraging her to do what she wants? How could he claim his fight wasn't with her, when what he wanted to tear down were the very wolves who had founded what her new life was built upon? If he brought them down.. the entire pack would fall. A stab of guilt, a glance aside, a sigh; she was right, of course. Either the entire pack was his enemy.. or no one was. Question was, could he remember that if he happened to be in the vicinity of Rhysis or Naira? Could he truly be so cold of blood that a female he had valued and begun to think of as a possible friend was someone he could think of beating, or even worse, killing? She was to be a mother, life squirming in her womb. And he, of all, understood the lure of that. How could he possibly justify his annoyance with them? Wasn't it the epitome of selfish behavior? But then again, if you fed every kill you made to someone else, you wouldn't survive. Naira had betrayed them, instead of trying to talk to Corinna she'd run. That was the sore spot, but the rest..? He allowed his gaze to fall away from Ava and onto the trees. He resisted the urge to explain his stupidity to her. He wasn't certain if he could abide to common sense and logic, so there was no point in giving her any false hopes that he'd be sensible and not tear her leaders apart if he got the chance. For a brief moment the idea that he could do just exactly that and then steal Naira's pups home crossed his mind, but then he discarded it. Angry as Corinna had been at first, she had shown a much softer side afterwards - a vulnerable side, even. Somehow, he found himself doubting she'd approve of it, even if it meant giving Swift River pups. Besides, as angry and hurt he was with Naira.. the only one he could imagine himself actually killing was Rhysis. It was so much easier to blame it all on him. Life would go on, though, whether he decided to end up hating everyone or no one. He actually found that if he had a choice between allowing Ava to live a happy, healthy life and reducing the new pack to a rubble, he'd much rather let go of his revenge and allow Ava to live. She was smart, too smart to hang out with losers, and perhaps.. perhaps with her in their ranks, there was hope for them. An appreciating smile came on his face as she mused on her future, eyes blinking in the wind. "Smart girl," he said quietly. Though, with Rhysis at the wheel, who knew just where her ship was going? To hell was Ice's guess, but that was a very biased guess. To be honest, he had no idea who Rhysis really was. The wolf he'd met at the Lagoon and the Swift River meeting wasn't a wolf who abandoned its pack and ran away in the night, a wolf who so obviously faked everything about him in order to be accepted. It just didn't add up, and it made Ice feel like bashing his head against a rock. The theoretical rejection of his theoretical offer pulled him out of his dark thoughts, and he gave a bark of laughter. But in the next instant, she looked away, and the night felt darker without her bright eyes. All he saw of her was black fur, but when she looked back, it was.. with a different look on her face, as if she'd found what she sought for. Her words were nearly a goodbye, and it surprised him to find that he didn't want her to leave, not yet. "Are you going to go home and prepare for a siege?" he asked her flippantly, though his sharp eyes betrayed the true question: are you going to leave? Barely waiting for an answer, Ice hauled himself up on all four. He leaned forward ever so slightly, head level with his spine, intense eyes on hers. Despite the buffeting of the wind his ears came up, tail raising steadily.. until it gave a twitch. "Because, if that is the case, I'll just have to stop you here and now!" he announced cheerfully, before launching himself at her in as friendly a manner he could. There was absolutely no anger on his face, his lips covering every single one of his white teeth, his tail wagging as if it was intending to pull itself out of joint; he really didn't want her to mistake it for a real attack, because that would just be.. stupid and heart-breaking in equal measures. And so, it was with the beginnings of a huge grin that Ice tried to bowl her over and pin her, deciding that he was done with deep thoughts for the next century or so. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

The black female was surprised to find she was actually proud of herself. Somehow, the issues in her heart had ended up working themselves out, and she had this wolf here to thank for it. A sly smile slipped across her maw, considering the curiousity of their circumstances. Not only was her mind recovering, there were his own dragons that had been battled as well. They were in likely the same ship. Then worry blossomed in her chest as she peered curiously into the male's eyes - were there consequences to his side of this encounter as well? She recalled the strength and anger in the Swift River leader's voice; it was easy to assume there wouldn't be smiles and wagging tails when he came back with her smell. Then again, it was awfully stormy... was it likely that on their travels back and through the night the opposing smells would cling to their fur? It didn't cross her mind she shouldn't be worrying about a Swift River wolf - what did it matter? Ava was good in her heart - she was kind to strangers and would never withhold help, so she found legitimate concern over what could be their predicament.

Had he any of the same worries she was unable to discern. Ice was much quieter this time around. Ava had enjoyed hearing his thoughts. She'd almost forgotten what a sociable creature she was raised to be, and how much she enjoyed sharing a lively conversation, even if it was one of deep subject matter. Of course, she wasn't going to intrude where he needed silence and thoughts. There was only so much to purge before your throat became too raw for the rest of it. The intensity of her reeling thoughts had wearied her mind to the point where it felt as though her body was affected as well. That was the strange thing about purification - in the end you felt better the way you were supposed to, but everyone always forgot that purification was draining. There was an emptiness - or if said more pleasantly, a <i>lightness</i>, like the wild winds could lift her from her earthly position and take her on wing, through the sky back home. Any vacancy in her soul was forgotten, immediately, when he quipped a question her way. She shook her head gently, refocusing on Ice, and was surprised to find such intensity in his gaze. Blinking it away, Ava slapped a wide grin on her face.

"<b>Oh, I can't tell you that,</b>" she teased, "<b>it's a pack secret!</b>"

As he stood her expression went blank. It truly wasn't her fault - she didn't mean to be distrusting, not at all! It was simply instinct that her heart jumped and she tensed where she was sitting. Ava quelled her desire to run away as fast as she could, drawing upon logic to remind her an attack was unlikely at this time - she needed to stay and see. Ava liked to think she wouldn't be surprised if the entire encounter had been a lie and Ice had been planning since her arrival to catch her off guard and rip out her throat, making short work of one Poison Path rival. It would make her life easier to think of him in black and white terms: just the enemy, nothing more. But in fact, she <i>would</i> be extremely surprised if he attacked her out of no where. Which was why she was so extremely relieved to see his threatless posture as he charged - the whipping tail, playful expression, no blood-stained teeth. All fear washing out of her veins, she barely had the time to stand and face him.

Ava pretended she had let herself go down, although in all honestly she was a crap fighter and a wolf of Ice's size was easily a contender out of her league. Wriggling beneath the larger male she cried out in jest, "<b>Get off me, <i>brute</i>! I'm a proper lady!</b>" And she would flail her little dark paws while yelling so, aiming to whap his ears and cheeks in an irritating, but harmless manner.

(This post was last modified: Apr 12, 2012, 02:41 AM by Ava.)

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