Sacred Grove kamikaze airplanes in the sky

<i>/sigh; here we go. challenge/entertain me... see if you can get Fenru to talk because this is one heck of a task trying to write him out as he is. <3 thanks in advance.</i>

<blockquote><i>Early afternoon; Overcast; Current Temperature: 37° F/3° C</i>

The fact that the sun wasn't able to shine through the clouds had Fenru worried. Of all things the boy had to worry about, it had to be just that... Not the fact that someone had unearthed the squirrel he had caught and cached away nor the idea that his treasured scrap of boar hide from his first pack hunt had gone missing (and he couldn't remember where he could have had it in his possession last) nor the realization that these days he often {and almost constantly} wanted to be alone. The sun. Being hidden away behind a veil of thick, gray clouds. In the <span class='word'>omphalos</span> of the Grove he had spent the last few hours of his morning gazing upwards, listening... waiting. He wasn't exactly certain what he ought to be doing but one thing was sure: he absolutely did not want to go anywhere else.

The River banks. The den he had been raised in. The new den where his new siblings would soon be keeping Mum hidden away. The old, moss-covered log where he had commonly spent his playtime as a pup. These places had all been blacklisted in his book and, even though he would rather spend today in a spot more interesting than the ovular grove clearing he was in the middle of, he decided to stay put. A good distance in any direction he was convinced would bring him to any of these locations. Something he actually feared.

A bird soaring across the open sky above reflected in his warm auburn irises then disappeared entirely behind the towering treetops. His black-tipped tail swept across the ground behind him before he tucked it close to his left hind leg. As much as he didn't want to admit or embrace it, things had changed. Too abruptly for his taste, actually, so here he was... telling himself otherwise in his head, trying to let go of the inner self the flood had unceremoniously locked away from his grasp. <i>Take a deep breath. No more time left; this is what I thought I wanted. Why am I afraid?</i></blockquote>

(This post was last modified: May 17, 2012, 09:33 PM by Fenru.)

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)

<i>.. are we going down or will we fly? ~</i>

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. The sun was hidden. Ice didn't mind that so much - he only minded when the stars were hidden. When they were, he felt desolate, lost and alone; very small, and very insignificant. The stars were his anchor, his stability, guides and judges and spectators all at once. In a sense, he lived by what they told him, though the force that drove him in one direction after the other was nothing so ethereal. It came from within, and was nothing but the silvery essence that was Ice, showing itself through his eyes and his boundless energy. At some point in life, he had simply attributed everything to those distant suns, and the childish fancy had stuck. Stargazing couldn't be done by day anyway, so the cloud cover didn't bother him, even if it did leave the world a little gray and diluted. Flowers were more vibrant in sunshine, the waters sparkled as they played their way down the brooks, and the very trees seemed to glow with the nourishing light. Still, sunlight meant warmth, and warmth was annoying, so all in all, Ice was rather pleased with today's weather. It was with no specific goal in mind but an eager spring in his step that he began his journey towards somewhere, striding through the Grove with youthful confidence. It was a good day for adventuring, and when he came across Fenru's old scent, he decided that the Tainn yearling didn't have a choice but to participate in these adventures. As the Guardian tracked his designated playmate, his thoughts began to roll like restless oceans. If he thought about it, something felt very wrong with the child these days. Come to think of it, he hadn't said anything, not as much as a pip, in quite some time, but it wasn't really that strange - he'd never been as noisy and bouncy as Rihael. At least, Ice had never perceived him as such. Paws pushing against the moss beneath, Ice frowned. Surely nothing was wrong with him, and if it was, his mother was probably on it anyway. Shrugging it off, the ghost of a wolf kept tracking the younger boy, pondering where to take him for today's adventure. If he'd been even half the fisherman Triell was - or rather, if he hadn't been so terrified of water - he'd probably have taken him up to some dam in the Creek and fished with him, but as it was... Catching small game that might interest a boy of his age wasn't Ice's forte either, and he had a notion Indru'd skin him if he took him out hunting bigger game and got him hurt. For his size and age, the Tainn pups were still relatively untried in the ways of the wolves, but it wasn't his duty to fix that problem. He was just to teach them to sit on the borders and look scary when loners came too close... which was far too tedious for today. So what could they do, then? Take a trip to Hidden Tree (heartache), or just go someplace beautiful, like the Wildflower Glade? That was a bit too far though, they'd not reach it until sometime the next day, and he was sure Corinna would skin him for gallivanting off with her boy - if she could. She'd probably have Indru do it for her. So lost in his thoughts of what to do with Fenru he nearly stumbled over the youth. Abruptly Ice stopped with all the grace of a steam tank, and stared down the length of his muzzle at the child. He was just lying there, staring up at the gray sky with its thick swath of clouds, and if it wasn't for his noisy approach, Ice would've quietly stolen away and left him with his thoughts. It was probably too late now, and he wasn't going to let Fenru's thoughts ruin a day that itched to be captured! Besides, thinking was bad for your health. Wrinkling his nose a little Ice moved forward again, cheerfully unaware (or perhaps just ignoring it) of the heavy mood that seemed to cling to the Tainn. Being heavy of heart wasn't good for your health, either. "Hey Fen Fen," he called out, for some unknown reason duplicating his nickname again. It just felt better calling him 'Fen Fen' instead of 'Fen'.. but he had no clue why. Oh, well. No point in thinking about it, he'd likely not figure it out anyway, so with a wolf's shrug he swept up to stand in front of the child, tail wagging behind him. Man, he'd felt like his own little sun until he would in on Mister Raincloud here! Pushing aside the nagging worry that maybe something was wrong he leaned down to affectionately nip the kid's ears for greeting, for now ignoring the fact that they were about to join the adult ranks and should be treated as such. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

<i>8D !!</i>

<blockquote>The sounds of someone approaching, the rhythm of their footfalls rustling the grasses and the direction in which they were traveling, might not have fazed Fenru in the least - or even move him from his comfortable spot - but when the rather impressive figure of Ice stopped just mere inches from him, the youth craned his neck upward took look into the pair of silvery eyes with a slight frown. <i>"Hey Fen Fen."</i> The boy's inkling of a scowl melted away and for a moment the 'old Fenru' shined through before fading away. His head canted to the side but almost instantly he straightened himself. Ice drew close enough to stand before him and Fen's ears drew back apprehensively before lowering.

The Guardian tenderly nibbled at his ears to which the yearling returned with a respectful bump of his nose to his superior's chin. He proceeded to tuck his chin close to his body, curling up into a tighter circle in the grass as he looked up at Ice out of the corner of an eye. Perhaps Ice was here to scold him. To set him back into motion and assign him the task of patrolling. Or something. Surely his siblings were out and about being useful and productive right now. A low whine emitted from his throat. For one reason or another he assumed Ice had put up a cheerful front in order to soften the scolding he was possibly about to receive.</blockquote>

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. No, surely he'd just imagined that something was wrong. While it was a bit strange that Fenru was just lying here in the spring grass and didn't look at him until he was practically looming over him.. everyone had off days. Maybe this was just one of them, and as the youngest Tainn looked up at him, he decided that was the case. Good old Fenru was there in those amber eyes, so maybe he was just a bit down today - or tired, or sad, maybe he had a cold... Nothing and adventure wouldn't cure! Ice was just about to launch into some tirade of excessive enthusiasm and joy, even having drawn a deep breath, when it felt like someone paused the world. Even the sun lost its warmth and the birds seemed to grow quiet. Fenru's greeting hadn't been out of place, but, this... Ice shut his mouth with a click, deeply troubled. Something was wrong, but he just couldn't put his paw on what it was, or why, or even how. What was he going to do, anyway? Run in on Corinna like some hen mother and babble about Fenru being, what, sick? He didn't even know! Besides, Fenru was supposed to be able to take care of himself, and Corinna was busy being fat with new kids. No. He, Ice Aesir the Idiot, had to fix this. Somehow. If he had no clue how to exorcize whatever unhappy demon that lived in Fenru's soul, he'd call, uh.. Marsh. Okay. Now he had a plan. The silence stretched on as Ice inspected Fenru. He couldn't smell any wound, so he wasn't injured at least. That was something. A frown shaded his gray eyes as he peered down at the yearling; he'd curled up tighter, as if afraid or.. unhappy. He seemed to be wound too tight to be entirely comfortable, and didn't even look at him with his customary, if cautious, curiosity. This wasn't like the young wolf at all, and he even whined for no reason at all..! Frustrated and worried, Ice crashed down on his hind end. He had a notion the Tainn kid wouldn't start talking all of himself, so.. he likely needed some prompting. But how does one prompt an unhappy kid to tell you what's wrong without turning it into an interrogation? Dejected, Ice decided that their adventure would have to wait until this was solved. With a bit more grace and precision than his usual floundering gave the impression of Ice laid down, curled in a semi-circle so he could bring his nose and head close to Fenru's. The worry he felt within reflected clearly in his pale eyes, and cautiously he tried to bump his muzzle against the child's. "Fenru - what's wrong? Has someone been mean to you?" His voice was low, but sincere, and he dread lodged itself in his gut. They'd had an increased number of Poisoned visitors at the borders - their insulting smell was impossible to mistake for anything else. Had one of them done something to Fenru..? Perhaps not physically, but mentally? Had they scared him? Had Hael, careless as he could be despite his love, done something stupid? Was he in love (stars know it makes me unhappy at times)? Ice's mind raced, but his eyes never left Fenru's face. Tell me. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

<i>Aaaaand the game of 20 questions starts... maybe...</i>

<blockquote>Ice seated himself and Fenru turned his eyes to the forest just to the left of Ice's figure, staring at nothing in particular just to avoid the man's concerned gaze. Ice's muzzle gently grazed the boy's ivory snout and Fen slowly rotated his neck to shy just centimeters away from the Guardian's touch. Numbers in his head lit up the darkness that had clouded over his mind. <i>Reprimanding in 5... 4... 3... 2...</i>

<i>"Fenru - what's wrong? Has someone been mean to you?"</i>

The young River wolf blinked. That was <i>not</i> a scolding at all. A question, actually. He looked back into Ice's silvery eyes then quickly shook his head. Again, he averted his gaze, almost as if he were embarrassed. No, no one had been mean to him. Not even Hael nor the rest of the pack, despite the antsy and fretful nature it had taken on in anticipation of the pack's newest and youngest members. It crossed his mind that nothing had ultimately been wrong with him, but in the end it was fear that had been gnawing at him from the inside. And it wasn't just about being afraid of the River (even though it seemed to be behaving as of late whenever he caught glimpses of it through the trees), no, he was beginning to harbor a fear of what he couldn't possibly know. Some days he didn't want to mind what went on beyond the territory of Swift River or be bothered what could be happening near the den when he was practicing his hunting skills on the opposite side of the territory. The reason why he hadn't bothered to speak was a different matter. Suppose he said something, pretend to wish a terrible event upon someone, and it came true? After frequently finding himself a victim to angst-stricken trains of thought, he could not even risk a breath. Perhaps Mum would never forgive him if he found out that he didn't want more siblings at one point before accepting that another sister would be 'okay.' Or maybe the Uncles would become upset if they found out he had actually thought of running away in order to find himself?

If anything, everything was just.... So. Different. <i>He</i> was different and that alone, in itself, was horrifyingly unsettling.</blockquote>

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. He actually pulled back. He actually pulled back, as if Ice's touch had been uncomfortable, or slightly painful. A frown creased his pale face, and he nearly wanted to kick his bruised brain back in motion, but.. there was too much pain there. Flashes of black wolves and russet wolves and gray wolves, all tainted with Naira's and Rhysis's scent and purple flowers and... He didn't really know, he didn't want to think about it, for it was just a shitload of pain that hid behind the fuzzy veil in his head. He had no wish to explore those painful memories, no wish to actively remember them right now - he wasn't quite ready to go through that turmoil again, to feel the self-loathing creep up his legs like little black spiders nibbling his skin all along until they came to his eyes and ate them, too. He just knew that he'd done something horrible and hurtful to someone he cared a lot for, and had found no real peace with it. It would've drowned him in the River if he hadn't let go of it, but the result couldn't be denied - he was slightly broken in the head. The depth he usually could dive into when he wanted was murky and tasted bad, like death, so he stayed away. But Fenru... Maybe he needed Ice's particular brand of wisdom more than an adventure (though no doubt that would do him good, too). The question was - could he dig his paws into that massive, twisted knot of pain and confusion, extract something useful, and somehow hold it all together? The last thing Fenru needed was Ice falling to pieces in front of him. No. Stay away. He brought his head back and slightly up, tilted to the side. Fenru didn't want his touch, so he would not force it upon him, even though he wanted nothing but to curl up around him in a protective ball and breathe safety into him with every breath they drew. A head-shake dismissed the theory of someone having been mean, and Ice tried to wrench Poison Path wolves from his mind. They hurt to think about, too, mostly because they smelled like pain these days and were utterly, irrevocably stupid most of the time - well, with the exception of a black girl with fierce eyes. He was glad to shove them out of his mind, and brought his eyes back to Fenru. He seemed so... defeated. Tired. The tip of Ice's tail twitched in anxious frustration, his teeth grinding against each other once with a dry noise. "Are you ill, or hurt?" he asked after a moment, voice cautious. While he didn't really smell or seem wrong, maybe he was. Being sick could often bring the spirits down, but what troubled him more... was the fact that Fenru had only answered one of his two questions. He had only shook his head at the latter, but done nothing to indicate he'd even heard the first. What's wrong, he had asked, and received only silence for an answer. It was unusual, mildly disturbing; the boy had never been one to chat your ears off, but he'd always responded when you asked him a direct question. Nor had he ever shown signs of following Marsh into the non-verbal bog of confusion. Perhaps if Ice asked enough questions - wrong questions - he'd get fed up and shout something, or tell him what was wrong. Somehow, he doubted even that; he looked so tired and worn, so .. miserable .. that he'd need to be truly heartless to just try and goad him into some form of anger. Likely, if Ice began saying idiotic things and insult his mother, he'd just curl up tighter. It didn't feel like he had any spark at all, and that was troubling. Very troubling. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

<blockquote>A tickling sensation built up in the boy's throat and he shook his head at first to confirm that he was not ill nor hurt. As much as he was aware of nothing was causing him pain and not a drop of his blood had been spilt. Ever... actually, now that he thought about it. Panicking sure hurt, if he counted the disaster in which the den he had grown up in was flooded over but outside of that... Nothing hurt since then. <b>"Nnnno,"</b> the singular word came out just louder than a whisper or a puff of air when he forcefully exhaled. As if to make up for withdrawing and inching away from Ice he gradually looked up at the silvery male. Eyeing the forest just beyond him at first before gazing at his shoulder, his neck, then eventually his eyes... before glancing back to the guardian's shoulder.

<i>I don't understand...</i> he wanted to desperately say. A small part of him had actually hoped Ice, through some sort of miracle, would just straight out provide him with all the answers. A frustrated whine sounded out in a brief note and he swallowed a few times as if to test his vocal chords. His gaze flitted back to the Guardian's face and he nervously staggered close enough to whisper into his ivory ear. If he didn't utilize his tongue or maybe even open and close his jaws the simple question might have just been air being blown into the depths of Ice's ear canal and mind. <b><i>"Am I safe?"</i></b></blockquote>

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. His mind felt fogged over, as if everything just below the silver of his eyes was white and blank instead of blacked out, as it was commonly called. Another shake of the head, silence, and Ice felt vipers uncoil in the pit of his stomach. They were ready to bite and inject real worry into him, because every passing second just upped the level of worry-chemicals in his body. Something was horribly wrong with Fenru, and he had no idea what. Not even the slightest. No one had been mean, he wasn't hurt, or ill... He was just, silent, in every way that silence is disturbing. It wasn't the natural silence of Marsh, whom Ice would surely stare stupidly at if he began talking, but a pained, sick silence, like that of a dying animal. Ice's jaws were ground tight together, the teeth sawing slightly against each other with a disturbing noise, and then, a single, drawn-out word, so silent, pierced the air. Ice's ears flipped up, gaze intense. No, but so hesitant, so.. fearful. The Guardian expected more, though, and held his own tongue, watching the youth with a burning mixture of curiosity and worry. Finally, those auburn eyes briefly met his own, and despite the painful fogginess just beneath his own gaze, Ice tried to convey both safety and worry at the same time. He wanted to protect Fenru from whatever demons that plagued him, but without knowing what they were, he was powerless. Their brief eye contact broke again, a frustrated whine punctuating the silence. Ice didn't know which he would've preferred, honestly - a child that broke down and mewled, or this silent, withdrawn shadow of a former self. In one way, it was easier on the mind and nerves, but... In other ways, it was so much, much worse. It seemed harder to shake Fenru out of it than it would've been to soothe a crying child. The Tainn boy staggered closer, and Ice's world ground to a halt. He stopped breathing, and the only sound was the faint whisper of the wind and the deep, steady rhythm of his own heart. He could feel the soft rush of breath from the other wolf's jaws on the side of his head, the faint brush of hairs against his own, the heat of a body - Ice's eyes drifted half-closed, ears receptive, listening to nothing else but the breath rushing in and out of Fenru's body. It came out in a different pattern, shaped to sound different from a regular breath, and it bore a question that Ice had no concept at all of how to respond. "Am I safe?" His heart felt heavy and leaden, red pain seeping up through the white fog, but he couldn't move away, couldn't pull back from Fenru and his impossible question - he couldn't even comprehend it, less answer it. Safe from what? Bears? Pain? Death? Mud? Bugs? Discomfort? Rihael? Bitterly he recalled what he hadn't told the stranger Mitsu, that nowhere is truly safe. Slowly, Ice craned his head backwards to get a better look at Fenru - large, like his father and brother. So small and fragile on the inside, that it felt like the merest puff of wind would shatter him. Somewhere he was dimly aware that it was stupid to make promises, stupid to pretend things were good when they weren't - stupid to say someone was safe, when he thought that nowhere was truly safe. And yet his tongue shaped words he wasn't sure what they meant, what they would expect from him in the future; he had no clue how to live up to it, much less if it was good to say it. It just slipped from the compassionate depths of his heart and soul, bubbled up like water in a spring and spilled gracefully from his mouth. "With me, always." .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

<i>All my feels(!) 8c</i>

<blockquote><i>"With me, always."</i> Ice's answer washed over him just as the ocean often did when it met the shore. The words didn't <i>crash</i> into him though, they merely lapped at his face at first before seeping into every fiber of his being. He <i>was</i> safe. The boy blinked quietly then looked to the Guardian with a quirked brow. At this very moment Ice could have been anything but now the hefty male was in every definition the true description of his role, his pack duty.

A protector in gleaming, brushed steel armor. A harbor in the storm. A barrier against all of mother nature's destructive elements; after all, Ice had been the motivator in helping the boy keep moving to higher ground when the flood had taken the only safe place he had ever known from him. Ice had been, and still was, the hero Fen had needed after all this time.

Perhaps... as long as Ice was there (in addition to his family), Fenru <i>would be</i> safe.

The yearling gently grazed the bridge of his muzzle to Ice's chin before averting his gaze again. His large ears folded back, not fully out of timidness but gratitude. <b>"W-will... Will y-you ssstay?"</b> For some odd reason or another his mind flashed back to the times when Indru had returned, when his uncles Kenai and Kinis had been apart of the pack for some time before disappearing completely, and when wolves showed up to the pack meetings one day then were never seen again thereafter. A part of him understood clearly how immediate and unexpectedly things - namely, life as he had known it to be when he was a pup - changed and how some things - like how he could always depend on his siblings and parents even if he rarely saw them - would be an everlasting constant as long as he kept faith that Swift River would always be there for him.</blockquote>

(This post was last modified: Jun 22, 2012, 08:31 PM by Fenru.)

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)

<i><3</i>

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. He couldn't help but wonder what passed through the boy's head, yet knew that he would never know. There was only silence, seeping through the cracks in the world like sunlight shining down through trees. Ice's sleeping mind was a keen thing, but now, it was asleep, and the waking one perceived only the topmost layer of everything. Impressions upon the senses, and the most obvious meanings of words - he had no capacity to dwell upon it and dig deeper, for the only thing that greeted him below the surface was pain. And so, he was left with only one thing to do: observe. It struck him again how Fenru's physical appearance was so at odds with who he was inside. Despite how tightly wound and curled up the yearling was, he was still as large as Ice - but in his mind, Fenru was no more than maybe half his size, still a child, someone he would be able to hide in the thick mess of pale fur. Someone he could stand over and hide in his shadow, not someone that maybe outsized him. If the stars had the capacity to meddle in their lives, this was the strangest joke of all. Fenru would've been more Fenruesque if he'd inherited Corinna's size, but Tainn testosterone... Ice didn't get to ponder it much further before Fenru's head lightly touched his own. Instinctively he returned the pressure, taking the opportunity to give his ears a fond lick when he withdrew. Rihael had gotten all the energy, or so it seemed, and Ice guiltily wondered if it sometimes made them neglect Fenru. He'd always been kind of quiet before, had his silence meant they often overlooked him by accident? Ice forced the thoughts aside. They hurt, too, but in different ways - Ice didn't want pain at all, so for now he shied away within. Calmly he looked upon the boy, though the worry still skittered around like drunk spiders beneath his skin. He had no idea what he was doing, really, if he was making things better or worse. There didn't exist an enchiridion for these situations, and he was very aware of it. But what if he just made everything catastrophically worse? As dismaying as the thought was, Ice tried to not worry about that, too. If he did nothing at all... His ears twitched at the question, and once again, he wasn't sure what to make of it. Right now? Sure. Forever? He didn't know if Fenru wanted him hanging over his shoulder all the time. Did he mean Swift River? Of course. Where else was there to go? He hesitated, not knowing which answer would be appropriate. In the end, he gave a jumbled mess of all of them. "Right now? If you want me to. Swift River..." He let out his breath in silence, looking at the old trees of the Grove, the thick, lush grass, breathing in its scent - it was home. After a few moments, he returned his sincere gaze to Fenru. "There's no place I'd rather be than here." And it was the truth. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul