Lost Lake I think I'm sick, I think I'm sick

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. It had festered in his heart. It had boiled in his gut, had caused storms to rage within his soul. It was like slow, seeping poison, slowly weakening the mind and causing the body to crumble; it was a disease, a disease without a name, but one that gnawed away at your thoughts and your will, until there was nothing but ragged edges no matter which way you tired to think of the world. Everything hurt, and Ice couldn't help but feel like a betrayer, but who had he betrayed? Marsh? Whatever had happened that other night by the river had put that to rights, laid it at rest, and started the chapter of something new - something different. His nameless Poisoned friend, whom he had helped? How had he betrayed her? He'd betrayed his own pack to help her! And then.. then.. left her. Not come back, after delivering the flowers. He'd shut her out from his pain, and hurt her by doing so, and now he hadn't even had enough wits to go find her, too worried about Marsh, his pack, the cubs, Corinna, the Poisoned cubs, if they would tear Ava limb from limb if it was found out she associated with him... Packs were so very volatile in spring and summer when the cubs were young and vulnerable, usually spitting at anyone who came within range of the borders - more violent, alert, ready to defend. Ready to attack. The last thing he wanted was to cause her more trouble. And yet he couldn't deny the urgency in him, the venom that slowly bled his defiance dry and somehow knocked down every logical reason of why he should not search her out. They had previously met only when running across the Lore, and she'd come to his home in an emergency situation, to save a friend from dying, but what right did he have to scamper up to hers for no better reason than that he had to see her again? That, too, tasted like guilt, like selfish bitter bile, but he commenced the journey up the mountains anyway, holding the taste in his mouth. He could not hide it, hide from the nagging thoughts that he might jeopardize her safety only because he felt a little lonely and down, and let it roll around the back of his throat like a sharp-edged reminder. Unlike the last time, the sun was shining; he'd walked through most of the night, and yet the sun had not risen far enough to warm the world, making it pleasantly cool. The sky was pale and blue, clouds absent, and a fresh mountain wind blew down to touch him. It felt much better this time, not the dismal, melancholy gray that bled the colors from the world - the dew sparkled in the grass like pearls, the lush grass surrounding his path was vibrant green. And the sun, the sun was warm and bright, yellow in the sky, and the songs of summer birds lifted some of the worries from his shoulder. But, he could never be completely free of them, not until she was here and told him it was alright, that she wouldn't get killed because he came. Not until then would he be at ease, and that worry kept gnawing at his gut as he crested the rise and the Lost Lake, aptly named, spread out beneath him. The surface was cool and blue, sparkling in the sunshine, its banks covered in green vegetation and steep rocks; somewhere here, her pack lived, but he had no idea where exactly. Resigning himself to the potential fate of being mobbed by angry Poisoned wolves, Ice tossed his head back and let a low, deep call roll out; a nameless friend looking for his nameless playmate, and the sun made his pale coat gleam like polished armor. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

<blockquote>Morning was a good time to patrol the surrounding mountains for fresh game and fresher loners. The prickly air that accompanied the rising sun suited her overwhelming numbness. Night patrols used to be her favorite, but it had been a long time since she'd gone off adventuring beneath the stars. The twinkling lights that had once guided her now seemed to mock her, cruelly shining like personal spotlights to mark her shame and failure. The sun, at the very least, basked the entirety of the Lore and left her feeling much less singled out. So daytime runs had replaced her nighttime ones, even though these mountains surrounding the Lost Lake were entirely neutral territory. Despite the fact Ava knew well that herself, as well as the rest of her pack mates, treated the peaks like they were their own - they basically were, anyway. Out here another wolf's howl came seldom if not never, for there was no reason to call unless they smelled the borders. That made the low call that sounded suddenly through the mountaintops a rarity, but nothing to be concerned about... for her other pack mates, perhaps.

It was a voice she would recognize anywhere, though it sounded so foreign in the mountains that her casual lope came to an immediate halt just long enough to turn her wide-eyed stare to the sky. The coal-pelted female was quick to realize she could not remain frozen for very long and pounced forward, taking off like the devil was on her heels toward the source of the howl. The immediate feeling that rose in her chest like a tidal wave of cold water was fear. Stars forbid that one of her pack mates got to the howl before she did. As rarely as that happened, Ava could not help but dread the worst. The one time she would recgonize a call, the one time it would be imperative that she got there first and no one else did, would have to be the one time that some other stupid pack mate of hers would appear and smell Swift River on his grey-dusted coat and alert the troops. Things seemed to be working out with such kindness for Ava in her life; it was only fitting that it would play out as such.

As her long strides swallowed the cold ground beneath her she felt her paranoia growing more and more intense. What if it was a trap? What if the River wolves had come seeking revenge for her pack's constant intrusions on their borders? What if they were returning Mist's head as a warning for the next Poisoned wolf stupid enough to go close? What if that silent coppery wolf was there, fangs glistening and hungering for the blood of an enemy? Or Corinna, left her cubs with the babysitter and come to show how her snarl hurt less than her bite? Or even Indru Tainn, some sort of famed leader that she knew nothing of at all, here to prove his reputation to the newest pack of lawbreakers? Maybe they had found out that she and Ice were friends, <i>close</i> friends, and forced him to come and howl for them knowing that she would show up without reinforcement and completely off-guard. They knew, somehow they knew that Rhysis and Naira had abandoned them and now they came as the angels of karma to forsake the followers whose leaders had forsaken not only their oaths to Poison Path but their oaths to Swift River as well, just to prove that karma was as evil as their little pack.

Her legs quivered as she leaped further up the mountainside, her dark ears pointed forward to catch the slightest sound of an ambush. The wind failed her and whipped around her in just about every pattern but one to bring her the scent of Swift River. It was not until Ava pounced through a cluster of rocks slipped from Riddle Heights before her bright eyes caught the pale figured situated stoicly on a ridge of the mountain that provided a lovely view of the Lost Lake. There was no one but him, no scents but his, and against the bright blue sky his many shades of grey seemed stark white.

The overwhelming pain that shot through her veins at ever heartbeat seemed worse tenfold as she stared, but surprisingly her legs refused to lock. They carried her up to the Guardian slowly, weighed down by the guilt of all the thoughts she'd had on her way over. Sometimes Ava stared straight at him, happy that he was here and hopeful for something good, but other times her gaze averted to her toes and she wondered how he could possibly be here for anything good. Her idiot pack mates - and she too, even - were doing nothing but causing trouble for him. It just wasn't probable that his business on the mountain was <i>good</i>. Yet Ava begged mercy of whatever deity that did not exist in the sky above for pity.

Her ears slicked against her skull as she stopped directly before his chest. What she had hoped to be a professional and strong facade broke as a whine escaped through her clenched teeth and she reached up to touch her dark nose to the underside of his chin. Forgiveness, she asked, she begged. Not from Swift River, not for the other Poisoned trespassers, just from him to her.
</blockquote>

art - threads

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. And the wind blew only silence as an answer. Of course she wouldn't return the call, for if it wasn't obvious enough by her running off - if she ran off - then crying out at him would certainly blew whatever meager cover they still had. Within his chest, his heart started thumping faster, filling his ears with its steady drumming rhythm, and he knew that every second was critical. Each moment meant the risk of the rest of her pack descending on him grew larger, each moment also meant the risk of her choosing to not appear at all grew larger. The first was a piece of reality he could not ignore, a worry standing upon a solid foundation, but the second was nothing but the worry of a paranoid, gentle heart; he cared very deeply for his friend, but what if his clumsy way of dealing with this mess had hurt her so deeply she would not come see him? What if she instead alerted her pack, said that it was a fucking Swift Riverer come to kill their cubs, and sent Rhysis on him? Rhysis, backed up by an angry back. Ice couldn't take it again, especially not without back-up, and if he didn't get out of here fast enough... He swallowed. Worry was pointless. The former he could worry about, the former was a very real threat, but the rest? He chose to have faith in her. The minutes ticked by and Ice remained perched, ready to flee, upon the ridge's back, silver eyes scanning the terrain from under lowered brows. The sun was in his eyes, making it hard to see anything, and the way it reflected so brightly upon the lake's surface was painful, and somehow it kept creeping into his eyes no matter where he looked. In frustration he ground his jaws together, teeth against teeth, but the wind snatched the faint noise away and diminished it; he could barely hear it over his heartbeat anyway. Adrenaline kept him on edge, for a quick reaction could mean difference between life and death today. Somewhere an eagle cried, and Ice let his gaze sweep across the mountains again. It was hard to pick out movement when the sun stung him deep in the eyes, and so it took quite the long time before he saw it - definitely wolf, black. It was either Ava, come to either check out what her friend wanted to scream at him for being an idiot, or Rhysis, come to tear him to pieces. His heart beat differently now, with less excitement and more anxiety; what if it was Rhysis? What if it was his friend, but she was pissed at him risking her like this? He keened, frustrated - why couldn't they just drop the hostility? Because they've run in across our borders fiftybazillion times the past months. Ava herself, the pair - Mist and Kegan, the one Marsh had torn a piece off of... That, and the fact that they were led by a pair of fucking traitors who didn't even have the decency to apologize for what they'd done! The familiar fury bubbled up in his heart and he spread his legs wider, lowering his chest slightly. If it was Rhysis and he came alone, he'd not come back in one piece. Ice didn't know for how long he was perched there, tracking the shadow's progress, not knowing who it was, but it felt like eternity. The wolf came closer and closer, and the more and more convinced he was that it was, in fact, his nameless friend; the legs were too short to be Rhysis', the lope much too rushed, there was just something different in their shades of color, their build... Quiet, hesitant joy bloomed in his heart and he waited, pawing at the beaten path, and when the wind finally brought the scent to him he knew that he was right. It was his friend, and he couldn't quite suppress the vigorous wag of his tail, or the excited yelp that leaped right out of his mouth before he even knew what had happened. It was her, but what if she was angry? What if she was going to beat him up just to pretend she wasn't fraternizing with an enemy? What if she was going to beat him up because she hated him? But she didn't. She just rushed up to him, stopped short of bowling him over, whined, thrust her head against his; every worry fell away, every fear grew brittle and broke and blew away, and the budding joy exploded into a myriad of colors in his body. A soothing sound, halfway between a whine and a content rumble, escaped him and he pressed the side of his muzzle against hers, silver eyes closed as he gave what she asked for and asked the same; he gently licked the base of her nearest ear, simply because it was within reach and it felt right. It was like saying we're still friends, and he drew in her scent deep .. frowned, and did it again. And again. And again. It took several moments before he realized what was wrong with it - she smelled a lot less of Rhysis and Naira. Still frowning, he drew back a little, enough to get a good look at her face, and rested his nose against hers. "Have you been avoiding your leaders?" he asked, the surprise visible on his face. But for whatever reason? Unless Ice had been left completely out of the loop, she liked her leaders, even vicious Rhysis! But if she knew... He swallowed the thought. Better let her speak first. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

<blockquote>His tiniest gesture of acceptance couldn't have made any more than the world of differance it did. The rumble of his voice reveberated through his chest and into her own body, further solidified by the simplest lick to one of her ears. For once the sigh Ava heaved was far from apathetic or angry - she was <i>so</i> relieved that not everything had gone up in smoke in front of her face. The pale fur felt so familiar, his scent having undergone minimal changes. Though her bright eyes had closed she saw him there anyway, the light at the end of the darkness, foregoing the mere role of the knight and actually being one. Ava did not know if it was selfish of herself to lean on him in such a way, but it truly felt as though he was her hope.

She remained as still as she could and let his heartbeat fill her with peace, but only resisted slightly when he pulled away. Ava lingered in the moment as much as she could, feeling equal parts drained and replenished at once. It wasn't until his nose bumped against hers that she opened her eyes and met his silver stare. There was some odd curiousity in them, or was it confusion? The Poisoned girl had been expecting <i>something</i> of their reunion, though she couldn't say exactly what, so the look he gave her was not so strange. What was, however, was the question that followed. It was not the words that slapped her in the face but the answer that formulated in her head. Black jaws parted briefly, but her voice refused to leap out. A film appeared over her eyes, masking whatever emotions that bubbled within her heart from showing on her face and she cast her gaze on the stone ground once again.

That's right... nobody else knew but them. How eerie it would be to have to speak it out loud one more, to hear herself tell the truth. She had finally been recovering, or at least, no longer deteriorating. Ice's arrival was the first spit of happiness that had brightened her existence in weeks. As much as she did not want the fact to ruin the pleasant feeling that had overtaken her, Ava reluctantly agreed that the darkness had to seep back into her eventually. It had been foolish to think it was old news when the secret had remained confined within the mountains. Yet to her surprise she had no itch to contain it any further than she already had; after all, what was the harm? Swift River was not Poison Path's enemy in the way they were to the wolves of the Grove. All their secrecy had been to protect Rhysis and Naira and the growing brood of the tawny she-wolf's belly. There was nothing to protect anymore, save Belladonna and Datura... but as Ava finally looked back into his liquid metal gaze she couldn't find it in herself to believe Ice or any of his pack would come storming the mountainside to kill harmless <i>pups</i>.

It was the strangest sensation she felt in her throat, a wild desperation to tell him already and a ceaseless hesitation to relive the pain of speaking it. Yet finally, one side won her tongue: "<b>They left. Athena leads, I am her Second, and as of yet we have no <i>competant</i> complemant to our leader's side.</b>"

Immediately following her words she swung her body around so that she was parallel to his side. The weakness in her legs grew too strong and Ava, having grown accustomed to it, allowed the emotional strain to take physical toll. All she could do was lean against his side with no particular care for the smell that was to rub off on her dark fur, hoping the feel of a true friend would prevent the misery from drowning her yet again. But once she had begun broken the barrier of speech Ava found it hard to resist her emotions and instead let her mind purge itself of its thoughts. They finally had a safe recipient, after all.

"<b>This would be a wonderful opportunity to try and fix the relations between your pack and mine,</b>" she began, a nervous-sounding energy ringing in her voice. "<b>Had we not a shitload of fucking idiots trespass on the Grove...</b>" The she-wolf remarked dryly, though she did not include herself in the list of <i>fucking idiots</i>. She would refuse to mention that Kegan, of all of them, was their stand-in leader until Tlarx found the right moment to take him out of his place, nor would she beg any question of Ice about Mist's whereabouts. The she-wolf had never reappeared at the Poison Path densite since her visit to Swift River, as far as Ava knew. Vafri had come back and tried to spin her a tale of lies, fitting for her was their bard, yet the moment he was informed of Rhysis and Naira's disappearance the white wolf had fled the packlands again. <i>Some loyalty,</i> she thought bitterly, though the irony of such words stung her heart immediately following.

A <span class='word'>surfeit</span> amount of words bounced around within her jaws and she simply couldn't allow their escape, not yet. Ava wondered if Ice would have as hard of a time grasping the facts as she had, and allowed the silence to prevail for his own expression to fill.
</blockquote>

art - threads

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. Was he truly so much stronger than her, or was it simply her need that drove him to not break? He had never perceived himself as such, but hadn't he protected Fenru in much the same manner despite knowing that something was breaking his heart? For him, for little Fenru, had he pulled himself together and somehow done a miracle. And this was the same; he might've fallen down in front of her otherwise, but she needed him, and she needed him strong. So for her, he was, a warm presence in the windy mountains, a rock that wouldn't get dislodged and slide down the slope. He promised to be there and yet she hid from him when he asked about her leaders. Worry tinged his heart and with troubled eyes did he watch her lower her veiled gaze. What was she hiding? Why was she hiding it? Didn't she trust him? After all I did... But he knew that it was not always easy to open up your heart. He knew that it was often easier to laugh and wave it aside than cry in front of others - it hurt less, when no one could poke about in the wound with dirty claws. Something had happened. Of that he was certain, but he had no idea what had happened. He wouldn't know until she told him - if she told him. It was just something like "Rhysis having a fit", this was something so much more. What else could stun her into silence like this, steal the words from her mouth and make her hesitate? It was contagious and his heart sped up again, his mouth felt dry and tasted of bad stress; the guilt of coming here had evaporated with her greeting, but just how stupid was he if the first thing he did was to remind her of something unpleasant? He keened softly, tail falling but still waving, albeit with solemnity now - slower. And finally, her familiar voice tumbled out with words that stunned even him. "They left." After all they did, to Swift River, the risks they took for passion, never speaking of themselves and only allowing the scents in their fur to reveal their location, after the fight in the Rise and the several intrusions... They'd just left? Abandoned everything? What about the pups? Had they taken them with them, or were they still here, or had they - stars forbid - died? Plenty of times had Ice wished ill upon Rhysis and Naira, but never had he extended that to their innocent children. Born of traitors and out of uncontrolled lust, but they'd had no choice in it. What if they were dead, simply because Rhysis was an asshole and had left? And, by Ava's statement, Athena was the only competent leader - the males were just idiots, all of them. Or something. "Damn," he finally said, softly; he'd not changed posture from his readied one, which helped to keep him from toppling over when she put her weight against him. With a rather surprised grunt did he shift his weight slightly to balance the pair of them better, and then he settled, relaxing what muscles he could. It was, in a sense, an immense relief that she wasn't smelling of those traitors anymore; she smelled all the more of Athena, but that was okay. He gave a hushed laughter when she spoke again - had she read his mind? He'd been thinking about the exact same thing earlier, and gave his head a small shake. Well, he had several things to say, but each had their own given time, and surprisingly, he was to start with Athena. "You know," he began, a slight smile of amusement on his face as he stood by her side, looking out across the vast Lake. No location leaped out at him as a suitable pack den, but his vision was limited because of the sun. "Athena was one of the first wolves I met in the Lore. I come from far over the mountains, and spent the last summer living in the Heights on my own. Fall drove me down, and my life down here began in the Fireweed Rise. I met the former Second female of the Hollow, she was nothing but skin and bones and scars, and then there was Athena. She was so small, hiding in the grass, not daring to approach, but I caught scent of her and confronted her about it - told her it was rude to eavesdrop." He grimaced. Social interaction had never come naturally to him, and after a year or so spent alone his conversational skills had hardly been stellar. "She said she'd just been cautious, because it wasn't every day she met wolves as large as I, something like that - I wondered if my size made it legit to eavesdrop on me, at which point the ex-Hollow butted in chewed me out for being aggressive for no reason at all!" He snorted. "I was just confused and tried to make sense of what she was saying, but I got fed up with it at that point and wished them good luck with their lives and left them. And to think of little Athena - once eavesdropping on larger wolves out of uncertainty - now leading a pack!" He shook his head, finishing the tale with bemusement in his voice. He'd left out the part where Athena had been a part of Swift River and then tossed them all to the wind to follow Rhysis. She was a traitor too, but somehow, not as much. Ice sighed. He'd shared a tale of his early Lore ventures, an attempt to perhaps lighten the mood, be the gallant knight she needed, but there were more serious things to discuss... He blinked, and gradually his expression faded from whatever it had been, and became more concerned, serious. "But enough of that," he said in a hushed voice. "The shitloads of fucking idiots pissed Marsh enough to warrant a pack meeting; he had a scrap of white fur off one of them. One of the few I wasn't busy trying to murder." He frowned. Why was he saying all of this? Wasn't it like, pack secrets? And why was he confessing to her that he'd been hell-bent on destroying her pack mates? She was their Second now, damn it! "I.. wasn't quite right in the head after the whole hellebore deal," he mumbled, then gave his head a small shake. It was over and done with. Apart from being irrationally suspicious about Hotei, he'd been fairly calm - his usual self. "None of us knew Rhysis and Naira left, but we decided to wait until after our own pups were a little older, to minimize the risks. This.. might change things. We weren't going to do anything drastic," he quickly added, realizing it might've sounded like plotting an invasion. "Just get up here and let you know that your wolves were running amok in our forest, not just prancing at our borders but we caught two of them past the borders, and tell you we were pretty much done being merciful with them. You know, you should keep them at home if they haven't got enough sense to stop at borders." But he said it gently, as if joking, but then his expression turned serious again. He couldn't keep running from everything by pretending it was alright; there were certain things he had to face, some things he had to say, had to know. He was nearly afraid to ask it, afraid of the answer; that maybe it was the reason she seemed so sad and so weak. Ice hesitated for a moment, but then he let the question out, quietly. "If Naira's gone... what of the pups?" Please tell me they're okay. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

( oh my god yeah I had no idea this behemoth of a post was coming, i am so sorry. )
<blockquote>Ava remained in a stand-still reality that followed her words, as though when the truth came out its power had taken time away from her. She had been certain the universe would come crashing down around her like it always did every time she thought of their (most recent) betrayal, and yet that couldn’t be what she was feeling. Forever more was she empty, but this time it just didn’t… hurt as much. Ava would not dare call it a relief to tell someone new, to admit one of the secrets that made her heart black, but at the very least she did not feel so miserable as she had before. Maybe when he left she would drown again, but for now, her head was above the water. Beneath her weight she felt him shift and for a moment thought of someone other than herself. Perhaps the heaviness of her heart was translating into her build. A hushed sigh escaped between her teeth and she slowly lowered her bottom to the ground to stop herself from transferring her stress to the pale wolf.

There had been no way to predict what his reaction would’ve been. From any other Swift River wolf, Ava might have expected joy. A party thrown in <i>their honor</i>, a hilarious testament of irony and mockery both. Ice, however, was her friend too, and she had long before realized he liked her just as much, if not more, than he hated Rhysis and Naira. He’d proven to her his good heart, but even a good heart could beat cruel now and again. Maybe he ought to have laughed at the fact that the Poisoned founders took off and left them in a mess, after all he deserved to enjoy their removal from Relic Lore. Ice didn’t laugh or grin, though – he launched into… a tale of Athea? His story took Ava entirely by surprise, and for a moment she just furrowed her brow and tried to make sense of it. Why was he telling her this? Yet for whatever reason he chose to disclose these little bits of his past, this encounter with the Athena that Ava had never known, it comforted her.

<i>The mountains</i>, he’d said. <i>Fireweed rise</i>. Places that their poison had stained. Ice had been here long before they had. Swift River had been here long before they had. And yet they’d taken what they wanted when they wanted and went on with their selfish way of life. She ought to have never agreed to this life, but then again Ava would have never guessed this was what her promise had entailed. His briefest mention of the Cedarwood pack hit her strangely; he said the former Second and all she could think of was Elettra, and what Kade had said of her, but who knew if they were even talking about the same <i>former Second</i>? This had been long before her intrusion into the Lore.

Then he painted her a picture of her new Leader: Athena, hiding, eavesdropping. Well she was a cautious wolf, Ava would have to agree. A smart wolf, and back then had she anything? Ava imagined if she had been small, she probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere near Ice… well, maybe not. Size had nothing to do with the sheer size of her gall. Maybe if she had been a loner, though, she would’ve stuck to herself. Athena had to have been a rogue then. For a moment her mind drifted away from the white lady and she wondered how odd it was to be in Ice’s position. This teeny wolf he met in the Rise once would someday join his pack, betray his pack, defend another betrayer in the same place they’d met and ultimately take over the still-betrayer pack. Life had an odd way of just shitting on everyone, now, didn’t it?

<i> And to think of little Athena - once eavesdropping on larger wolves out of uncertainty - now leading a pack!</i> “<b>You never see those things coming,</b>” Ava remarked with a slim smile, though as hard as she tried to keep it up it waned continuously. Tiny Athena becoming the leader of a pack. Ava showing up at the Swift River border. Leaders of a pack abandoning without a single word. All such things to strike a wolf with surprise.

Ice changed the subject, yet the last subject lingered on in her mind for a moment into his words. It had been easy, living in the memory he told her, but reality begged to be seen and Ava could run from it no longer. Not with Ice around, at least. Quietly she returned her attention to him, bright gaze toned down as he spoke his side of the story. It was actually quite a relief to know the truth, even though she had known all along. Her pack mates were dumb as rocks and they got what was coming to them.

<i>Marsh</i> was a name she would not soon forget, a name of copper and the similarly metallic taste of fear and blood. So the two wolves made up the welcoming committee for visitors at the border – how odd, that they were such… polar opposites, or at least they appeared so. Though at a pack meeting regarding a bunch of Poisoned assholes, she didn’t figure they would act very different from each other at all. The very first detail pulled her lips back in a growl: <i>a scrap of white fur</i>. "<b>Vafri,</b>" she spat, her distaste marked clearly on her face. "<b>He was our storyteller... actually told a good one, once, but tried to weave lies about he found Marsh <i>on the mountain</i> during border patrol and <i>fought him off</i>. First of all, it's hilarious because he reeked of Marsh and some other River wolf… and the fuckin’ Sacred Grove. You’d think if he wanted to lie about where his face was rubbed in the ground he probably should have figured out if <i>I</i> had ever been there first. What’s more, if you've never seen Vafri, he was lanky enough to blow over in the wind. There was no way in hell he was going to fight off two River Guardians on our own mountain... and just no way in hell River Guardians would come here without reason.</b>"

Her rant ended with an angry huff; what did these fucking wolves take her for? The very lies that their pack was built on was beginning to make her sick and even more sick was the fact that she almost understood where Jedd was coming from when he left their tainted group. How dare everyone doubt her authority… how dare everyone think they could do as they pleased. At least when Ava had trespassed on the River wolves it had been her leader’s bidding, and nobody had found out about it either. Blood was boiling quickly beneath her skin so to close the subject the she-wolf remarked viciously, "<b>He's gone now too, abandoned us when we found out Naira and Rhysis had.</b>"

Just as she knew that the Sacred Grove pack would not approach their borders unwarranted, Ava was unsurprised that they had chosen to wait until <i>their</i> brood was safe before coming to tell their nemesis that they’d recruited a bunch of morons. But the timing was just funny in such a sick and twisted way. Ava even went so far as to laugh, dry and humorless and dark, at the very extent to which karma would go to knock their Poisoned heads together for their past transgressions. Oh, sure, why don't your leaders abandon you and half your members disappear and also raise these children, and then you know what else? Here come your enemies at your doorstep. Enjoy! However morbid her thoughts were, Ice’s plaintive statement about murdering her pack mates seemed to fit right in. No shock accompanied his admittance. Ava knew, she'd smelled Ice's scent on Kegan when his wounded ass had returned, though she frankly would not have minded if he hadn’t come back.

Ice’s gentle reminder of common courtesy was meant well – that much she could tell from his tone – but the words still felt like pins in her spine. It was downright <i>shameful</i> to be associated with wolves so stupid. “<b>I guess Naira and Rhysis didn’t inform the newbies of our lack of Swift River friends during their orientation,</b>” she began bitterly, “<b>hoping that they would be smart enough to stay away from pack borders. Every wolf knows that. Especially wolves fresh off the loner life. How <i>stupid</i>. It’ll be different now. It will be. Now that <i>I</i> have some kind of pull with them, I’ll make sure the rules get followed.</b>”

The bite in her voice could not be denied. Ava was different now, and she could not find it within herself to care if the change was permanent or not. One night she had opened her pain up to Treena and the two had purged their emotions through song and play. Then she found the she-wolf cooing gently to a sick-minded loner over the borders and had to <i>correct</i> her mistakes… and the female still had it in her mind to resist Ava’s orders. There had been something horrible and angry in her jaws when she took Treena’s, wanting to bite down and cause her pain for thinking she would ever be right against Ava’s opinion. But drawing blood would not make their broken pack strong. Somehow she would find a way to make sure the stupidity would never again go unpunished. .. somehow.

Yet she was not allowed to drink the venom of her anger much longer as Ice’s topic drifted into a stranger territory, one tat she had been avoiding quite fervently: <i>the cubs</i>. This time, Ava did not hesitate to answer. They were already pouring salt in the wounds; there was no more pain left to anticipate. “<b>She... she took two of them. Probably couldn't carry them all. They were not even a month old...</b>" Ava whispered, still somewhat fearful for the safety of the children. "<b>We have two, though. Healthy and alive.</b>" At the very least a solemn smile could etch itself upon her face at the thought of Datura, a little ball of golden fur, who snuggled at her side whenever she paid a visit. The child was Ava’s to raise, and her scent would always be in his memory somewhere around the association of <i>mother</i>. But she couldn’t help but wonder how they would turn out with such a strange family.

Ava said nothing more, but gave him a half-hopeful stare. At the very least, they were still trying to move forward.</blockquote>

(This post was last modified: Jul 05, 2012, 10:16 PM by Ava.)

art - threads

No worries! XD And Ice has a tendency to talk so much, urgh :/

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. “You never see those things coming,” and it was so true; a smile of his own matched her own, then dwindled as hers did, as if he understood her thoughts. You never saw two pack members - one so loyal she risked her own self to drag a yearling out of a flooded river - abandoning you coming, either, nor how an enemy could become a friend so randomly as they had. Good things happen without forewarning too, he wanted to say but the words got stuck in his throat. What was the point? He felt like her grief was pulling her under, but he sank down beside her all the same, leaning in to offer a silver shoulder for her to lean against. Ice was a hardy creature. He was unlikely to fall down the mountain and drown in the lake simply because she leaned on him. Besides, it felt good to be able to do something, small a gesture as it was. As he told her of the pack meeting Marsh had called, she butted in with a harsh snarl, and Ice broke off his sharing of news while she spewed venom about the wolf it had belonged to. Vafri, their storyteller. He'd told a pretty tale of Marsh being on the mountain, eh? Ice gave a hushed laughter. Marsh leaving the Grove in these times, when Corinna was confined to the den, was as likely as the mountain just being gone one morning when they all awoke. "Cali," he said, gently almost. He had no innate fondness for the wolf, but he couldn't deny the fact that she was rapidly proving herself to be an asset. It seemed she had Marsh's respect at least, and if their first encounter was anything to go by, it had been hard-won. "Vafri had nearly overwhelmed her at the borders when Marsh showed up." He had no reason to doubt Cali's honesty when she'd informed them of her shortcomings at the meeting. Part of him wanted to comfort her on the losses of her pack mates, the other part of him wanted to tell her to deal with it. Over half a year in Swift River had taught him that loyalties meant nothing to some wolves, not just traitors like Rhysis and Naira, but to others, who simply were gone one day never to return. That Vafri had left was hardly a surprise if he'd gotten on Ava's bad side. It was something she should just learn to accept. She still had Athena, right? He sighed softly. "I've learned to not grow too attached to my newest pack mates. They have a tendency for vanishing; if you don't count last year's pups, there's just four besides me who have been part of it since I joined, and one of them was gone for a long while, too." His name is Indru and he's my leader. I know your pain, but not with such finality as this. He grunted acknowledgment when she spat more and cursed her stupid pack mates; it seemed to infuriate her as much as it had done them when Poisoned wolves had come hopping across their border with little respect for them. Her words, her promises, seemed desperate, but for what? For change? For safety? For not seeming like an idiot in the eyes of Ice? He could never see her as an idiot, for she had a sharp, clever mind behind her miserable eyes, and she was loyal, faithful. She held her ground even when it slid out beneath her paws. It sent his mind spinning back in time, to a stormy night among whipping willows. He was quiet for some time, only breathing a sigh of relief when told the pups were alive. "I'm glad," he said, genuinely, and leaned in to nuzzle the base of her nearest ear. If those two that remained had died... Their blood would've been on Rhysis already crimson paws. A flutter of old rage stirred in his heart, but it died before it took root, and with something distant in his eyes did he look out across the sun-bright lake. "Your roots have taken, stranger girl," he mused in a soft voice. "I remember a black female from many nights ago, who doubted everything her life currently was. She found someone who was supposed to be an enemy, but he did nothing to harm her. He spoke to her of stars and purpose and life and the future. He, too, had a heavy heart, but somehow his rambling tongue lifted some of her burdens. She said that, even if her pack was birthed from dishonor, she would not let it keep going that way." He was silent for a moment, snatches of conversation still clear in his mind despite the time that had passed. For all his goofy ways, Ice's mind was keen, and his memory too. "I don't think she let it; she was not to blame for what her leaders did, nor for how deeply they hurt a lot of others. But that blemish on Poison Path's name is gone." He turned his eyes to hers. "I know you can vamp this up. I know it, friend. Loss hurts for a while, and betrayal darkens the mind and sows seeds of distrust - but distrust is not what you wish to grow, is it? Your roots on this mountain are deep now, for not even that storm could fell you. The children you have are still alive, and there is a future in that. A change. I don't know what Rhysis would've raised them to be..." Monsters, most likely. "But unless Athena is a fool, I think you'll raise them just fine. The trespassers were never ordered to our home, so perhaps their loss is nothing to mourn if they were suicidal enough for such ventures." He waved his muzzle in the direction of the rising sun, its pale disc casting the world in a warm, fuzzy glow. "Look, the sun is rising, not only on the world, but on you, and your pack. You have a chance to start over, to make things right - to make sure that the tree that grows here isn't crooked and twisted, but strong, and healthy." He leaned in again, pressing his cold nose against her cheek. Why was reality never as simple as the colorful words that flowed from his mouth? Why couldn't simply his words patch things up, glue the shattered seams of her world back together? He wished he could be of solid help, but he would never leave Swift River and Marsh, not even to help this particular friend of his. Poison Path was something she had to solve on her own - something she had chosen to stay with, despite the hardships she suffered at first. Her voice when she spoke of the pups hinted at the fact that she would never ditch her pack when those were alive, and since they had survived without Naira for so long... well, they were doing something right, at least. They were holding things together, somehow. It seemed as if everything had just been hard - coming to terms with her leaders leaving, being left with a pack of idiots, trying to raise two kids more or less on her own... He looked out across the Lake again, searching for words, but finding none; for a time he sat quiet, already having decided upon that he'd have a talk with Indru, Corinna and possibly the rest of the pack when he came back again. They had to know that things had changed over here, that Rhysis and Naira had left the pack - that they'd try to keep a firm paw on their foolish recruits. Without the two traitors to incite anger in him, he'd never allow anyone to come here to hurt Ava, or the two bundles of fur she cared so deeply for. He just couldn't. And suddenly he knew exactly what to say. "I am Ice." .ice aesir

(This post was last modified: Jul 09, 2012, 11:03 AM by Ice.)

let the stars above shine in your soul

( :O We swapped 200 for 200! But on that note I'm going to apologize profusely for this shitstorm of an awful post. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. )
<blockquote>
For the past month Ava had been living within a cloud of her own, dark and dreary and awfully selfish. The weight of her sadness had consumed her and there was nothing more important than her own depression to concern herself with. Friendliness was a kindness she had rarely imparted, and even on her few interactions with loners her words had come clipped and careless and when the moment was over she would find more shame come into her bubble for how impolite she had become. It was within the shadow she remained, awaiting her pale friend's reaction, taking comfort in the consistent misery though it caused her daily pain. There was no <i>under</i> to be pulled by her grief any more - she was entirely submerged in the blur of her world. Half-life, she liked to think of it. Stuck in drowning. Never feeling the release of life nor death. Awful, awful thoughts they were, but thankfully they only struck in the dead of night.

Through the water she heard his interjections, giving a name to the female scent on Vafri's fur, though she held her scoff inward at the comment that followed. <i>Was she new?</i> Ava could never say something so cruel to Ice. It was just a plain asshole type of question, even if she thought it to be true. Vafri had seemed so... unbecoming. She had never been frightened of him, even before her personality had taken a turn for the worst. How could he have gone to Swift River and taken on a member of their Guard - and actually have put up a decent fight? Her dark fur bristled slightly, only to have her flame extinguished at Ice's mention of loyalty among the River wolves. <i>There's just four</i> besides him. Five wolves who actually meant it when they made their promises and swore to serve. Five wolves, that was all.

Life was nothing but learning to balance the difficulties. How did one accept trustworthy wolves, yet disarm their emotions when they turned out to be the opposite, all while maintaining a safe enviornment to raise children that weren't even her own? Ava took what little comfort she could in Ice's nuzzle, but time could not stand still. The moment words began to infiltrate her bubble of dread all pleasantries were lost, replaced by reality again. He told her a story that, within her dreary cloud, sounded like just that - a story. A happy ending. A false hope concocted of someone else's mind. And Ava would have been happy to think of it in such a way, had there not been just the strangest beat of her heart that made her listen closer. So familiar, these characters, because they were not created of falsehood: They had been real, once, some several months ago. They were them. A nameless paladin and a stranger girl.

His story was a reminder of the past, and yet it struck her differently than others did. Something in her hollow heart had felt an emotion that was not overwhelming misery. It was difficult to lift the shadow that blanketed her away from her skin. It fit right in among the darkness of her fur that she sometimes wondered if it had truly become part of her. And yet everything Ice said was true - would always be true. There was not even a <span class='word'>mote</span> of liar's bone beneath his pale fur; his word was trusted. If he said so then there was a future to be found, if only she could swim back to shore. Traitors were traitors but they were gone. Children were their's to mold and no longer the brood of monsters. And all others be damned, if Ice said the sun was rising, then it was damn well rising. Quietly she lifted her hooded gaze from the floor and observed the pale glow up above, trying to fashion that it was not a spotlight on their failures but the encouragement for their success.

A good leader. Some smart wolves. Two pups to raise. Land and food and home, still, even if it didn't always feel that way. A new start. A past detached. <i>Friends</i>, both here and beyond the mountainside. For the first time in weeks she smiled of her own accord - something pleasant had entered her thoughts. Suddenly the silence they shared did not seem so deafening. The amber tones of her eyes shone with gratitude as Ava finally looked over at her friend, the cold of his nose actually registering beyond the numbness she'd worn as a second skin for so long - and then he said three words.

Wasn't it supposed to be the simplest of things? <i>A name</i>, a short, one-syllable word, one that was usually exchanged within minutes of greeting another without actually knowing anything about your company. It was a formality, saying it was just some kind of common courtesy to pretend you had some kind of respect for the existance of another wolf you never knew. But that wasn't quite their case. A name, a short, one-syllable word, and it destroyed everything that had ever existed before, if destruction could be a good thing. The world they'd built before - made of glass, always stepping on eggshells - shattered. They no longer needed to pretend like they didn't know each other. They were no longer explicitly forbidden from interacting. All the restriction that they had swam through to become friends went down the drain as the plug was pulled so suddenly.

<i>Ice</i>.

Well, he certainly looked the part, didn't he? Her bare smile cracked open just the smallest bit wider, enjoying her own terrible humor as it finally made it past the dark gate that had closed over her mind. Just as he had killed the illusion, however, Ava had to do her part too. She was no longer a stranger girl - no longer "just the fourth pillar". There was a place for her, and it was no longer being a nameless ghost beneath the cloak of the night.

"<b>And I'm Ava,</b>" she breathed after a moment, still holding a genuine smile static in her expression. There was no going back now, but that was what needed to happen, wasn't it? The past could no longer be dwelled in, for it no longer existed. The children would grow, Swift River would know, and the earth's rotation would not stop for any mopey wolf. Moving forward was difficult, but she was finally free from the gravity that held her back with only one knight in shining armor for which to thank.

A half-laugh escaped her as she shook her dark head and looked back to the sky. Was it more blue now than it had been before? "<b>I don't know how it happened. I don't know how I went from that stranger girl, so self-assured and so ready to take on the world, to this mess. But you're right. I can't let it go on any longer. We have all the right things... they just need to be pieced together.</b>" And what an easier job that would be with all the problem wolves gone. Sad or not, it was the truth, which always had to come out. The excitement of a new life that flooded her veins fell quiet for a moment in which she met his silver stare like she had many times before, sans a goofy grin and a fiercely wagging tail. "<b>You didn't have to come up here and save me. I didn't deserve it.</b>" But her voice did not ooze with a pathetic anguish that her agonized tongue was used to - Ava was only speaking the truth, as simply as she could. "<b>But I'm really, so happy you did.</b>"

Gently as she could Ava bumped her head into his cheek, reveling in the fact that she could actually feel the contact. "<b><i>Ice,</i></b>" she murmured almost gleefully. So much more than just a simple name.
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art - threads

<3 I'm honored! And s'okay, I didn't think it was bad at all ^-^

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the   ICE breaks. If Ava had asked him if Cali was new, he probably would've said no, she just sucks anyway. So perhaps it was for the best that Ava didn't ask. He wasn't certain if she was even listening anymore, but it wasn't with annoyance that the notion struck him, but rather a profound worry. Ice frowned as he turned to peer at her - she was still and quiet, barely acknowledging that he'd spoken at all. There was something distant in her eyes, distant and gray, as if all the colors in the world had been sucked right out of the scene in front of them. Like that grayness had blanketed everything, sitting just behind her eyes. He recalled the way she'd slumped against him, as if exhausted; whatever had happened up on here, no matter how bad it had shaken the pack, she'd suffered greatly for it. What else could break the proud spirit, the wolf who was so eager to knock sense into her pack? He figured he'd gotten away easy, if all he'd done was walk around in a daze for half a month. It had been a protective numbness, a layer of soft down, but just as much as it had protected him from harm, it had cradled his mind and swept foolishness around it. He'd been more of a beast than Marsh ever had, knowing only base emotions - mostly rage - until he'd started to wake up. It had been unpleasant, unsettling, but here he was, and he'd even climbed the fucking Mountain! Ava, on the other hand, looked like she'd sink like a rock if dumped in the lake. He shuddered. It would probably be a most unpleasant sensation, and if he had to stand on the shore and watch her drown... Well, fuck that, what the hell was the difference from sitting here, shoulder against shoulder, and watching her slip away behind her own eyes, as if drowning within? But then, all of a sudden, she smiled, and Ice felt the worry leap out the window. To see her smile, genuinely smile, excited him beyond the point of what ought to be possible, and his heart skipped along like a happy child in his chest. Behind him, his tail just twitched erratically, too overcome with emotion to be able to produce any coherent signal. Her eyes, they had color again, as if the world she saw had color too; he couldn't help but lean forward, toes scrabbling against the terrain, and she smiled even wider as his name registered in her mind. He couldn't keep the strange noise in anymore, it bubbled out like some yipped mess, more akin to the playful talk of a pup than anything coherent. It felt as if she'd awakened, come alive again, once more easy-going, playful female he'd come to know during their strange nightly excursions; the female he'd gone through fire - figuratively; it had been water in reality - for... The female he didn't love, and never would, but the female that, somehow, had become one of his closest friends. She had been missing during this morning, replaced by a tired stranger, but now she was back, smiling, and her eyes were bright and and and her name was Ava. He laughed aloud at that - not a cruel laugh, but a good laugh - a laugh from the heart. Wasn't it ironic, that their names were so short, easily spoken? He had no idea what to do with himself, and simply settled for hiding his head against her fur. It truly was like he'd been talking to a nightmare that had suddenly disappeared. He held there, close to her, for a moment, not sure why he was trembling, only knowing that hot spasms of something shot through him every once in a while. Relief, he guessed, but it made him feel giddy, too. It wasn't until she'd come back to him that he realized how worried and tensed he'd been - he'd been trying to cajole her out of it in his own way, and not until proof stared him in the face... Well, no matter! He let out a shaky breath and met her eyes, silver and amber merging once more. She was suddenly serious again, and he kept nodding vigorously without really registering what she was saying at first. Then, he abruptly stopped doing it, and raised a 'brow at her. "Pft. Saving damsels in distress is my job, I'd get fired if I didn't!" It slipped off his tongue, but the warmth beneath was unmistakeable. He didn't run about saving just any damsels, just the worthy ones. Just her. Ava. He grinned, his emotions still all over the place. They were quite unruly... "I'm happy, too - you looked a mess... I'm so glad you're back - Ava." And as if to prove it, he gave her a toothy grin. She bumped closer to him, and whispered his name, as if it was some ..spell, or something. "Watch it, I might melt!" he said in mock horror, but his tail was bashing the ground, sending dust motes dancing in the pale sunlight. It felt so good, that she was close, that she was back, like - like everything would be okay, not only she and Poison Path but maybe their pack relations, too. He hoped it would, otherwise - otherwise the newfound peace he had with Marsh... the strange turn their bond had taken... If Poison Path were still criminals in the eyes of Indru, even after Rhysis and Naira left - Ice was absolutely stinking of them right now. That was a leap of faith he had to take, but to be honest, he would've preferred to jump off the ledge he and Indru had been on than waltz down back home smelling like this. He swallowed, some of the euphoria evaporating. And there was that business of the cougar-wounded female, the one who'd started the whole shitstorm with hellebore... What had become of her? Had she made it? Was it another happy story to tell? He wanted to ask, but - she'd just come back to the surface. What if her friend had died? He didn't want to risk losing her again, not just mere minutes after having found her - but he wouldn't leave the mountain without asking, otherwise it would just rub and chafe at his mind... Content to have decided to not ask this instant, but later, he wiggled closer to her - Ava - and tried to bury his head in her neck fur. .ice aesir

(This post was last modified: Jul 15, 2012, 05:46 PM by Ice.)

let the stars above shine in your soul

k i'm gonna fake it till i make it...
<blockquote>It was almost a miracle, the way things worked sometimes. Just as quickly as the landslide had taken Ava under the brutal sea of depression, its uncontrollable waves had tossed her back, toward the voice of a friendship that was even deeper than the black water that swallowed her in the first place. It was almost as if that was all it had taken - a best friend to bring to her heart genuine acceptance - and then the smile could blossom once again. Funny how one of her most honed skills, to control the expression she wore, could be so easily forgotten in times of great emotion. Before it was turmoil which had sapped the light from her amber eyes - but now it was a brilliant fire that had started again, pulling on the corners of her lips and allowing a glimpse of white teeth to break though her dark mask.

There was quite the domino effect, it would appear - where her smile would prompt one upon his face, and the wag of his tail and yip of excitement rose her body from its slump. Reality suddenly appeared to her, but unlike in the times of her haze it did not ruin her any further. Now the world had possibility - not just misery. Or had it always been there, and she had just grown blind to it out of the selfishness of her own agony? Of course, that was probably the answer, but Ava made the conscious decision not to dwell on it. That had been her mistake in the first place - dwelling on it. Sure, the betrayal had cut like a knife, but all wounds would heal at some point. And she had plenty of company, and <i>good</i> company at that, to help the process along. Among the most important of her good company was just a hair's breadth to her side and that was a fact she could no longer ignore, and no longer wished to ignore either.

Something cheeky overtook her, shining brighter than usual on a face that had been so dull before. "<b>Oh of course, silly me. I should have known.</b>" It was his duty - he was Relic Lore's very paladin! Both in play and honesty, though, was the Poisoned girl honored that he had done his part, and willingly. Somehow the fact that he had stuck alongside of her - not literally, of course - this entire time was incredibly resounding in her thoughts at that very moment. He didn't have a reason to stick around aside from sole affection, and it was a realization that invoked a warmth within her chest that probably <i>could</i> have melted her pale friend, had she been capable of bursting into flames from it. Ava, obviously, did not have any sort of desire for that. His gracious allowance of shoulder to lean on was much too comforting for it to disappear into a puddle, though she did chuckle a little bit at the image of it.

Her amber eyes flickered up toward his expression as she mused slyly, "<b>Don't worry, I didn't bring a lick of flame back with me from hell. Figured you weren't interested in a souvenier.</b>" Ice was indeed safe from her madness. Any remnants of it, should they have any inkling of reappearance, would be snuffed out much quicker than they'd need to appear around her <span class='word'>compeer</span>. So despite her toothy, wide-spread grin's direction, the black-pelted female truly did mean what she said. And in case such a point wasn't clear, she accepted his head burial as though it were some kind of ceremonial rite to finish the proceedings. First her, now him, providing the shoulder to lean on and accepting the lean as it came.
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art - threads