Hush Meadow Took a Deep Breath in the Mirror

The lone female mirrored the path of the sun in the sky, following it westward to the fate of the sunset. Ecco didn't care for the materialistic sightings for the surrounding forests and mountains she traversed through. They were all the same to her; dull, repetitive, an obstacle, meaningless. Perhaps if she were in better circumstances with her current situation, the D'Oliva would have more of an appreciative eye for such. The outside world was a cold, empty existence that was just there. Ecco couldn't bring herself to the here, for the here was a devastating reality she rather not kill herself sooner over. She found herself much more pleased to be trapped in the hysteria of her mind as of lately, and felt such a thing slowly spiraling downward into dementia. Shielding herself from the bitter reality that was, Ecco cared not to dwell too much on how many more days it was until sickness overcame her, or starvation finally withered her away, or even the cold would freeze her to death. Time was ticking, against her.

Coming upon the flatlands of the meadow, the extinguished fire of her amber gaze lifted. Ecco felt the peculiar evenness of the ground beneath her, unlike the woodland where pine needles were plunged into the delicate flesh of her pads, or her paw falls were calculated to not slip and gash over sharp boulders. There was a serenity about these barren fields striking Ecco. It was the breadth and width of the void of this meadow matching her soul, her situation of nothingness in her life. From a brisk trot to a slow waltz, Ecco walked to the middle of the meadow, where it was there she gracefully collapsed on her stomach. This was the first place to genuinely rest without looking over her shoulder or around a groove of trees to anticipate anyone stalking her. It's so nice here. Open. Quiet. Just the breeze and me. It's all I need. Ecco sprawled out her withered figure on her side, slipping her eyes closed. A sense of safety enraptured her, for the first time in a long time. Which was strange, when one would think they should be on their guard out in the open. Ecco remained there in silence, enjoying the cool breeze brushing through her coarsened fur.

If this is the place I could die, this would be nice.
     "You're much too young to die yet.."
Life is wasted on the youth, anyway. The best only die young.

Ecco opened her amber eyes, staring into nothingness, and heaved a heavy sigh.

The first icy sighs of winter had already browned and wilted the once verdant meadow, and even without seeing it, the frigid bite to the wind was enough to tell the old wolf that winter was on its way. It wouldn't be long until fresh snow coated the fields and forests in a sheet of white, but today, thankfully, the sky seemed to be holding off. Skana seldom ventured far from the pack's territory, though not for lack of curiosity. There was only so far her aching limbs could take her, with much effort taken to hide the handicap. Purpose and propriety were carried in every measured stride, at the expense of her aching joints. She was a pigheaded old thing, and the fallen queen would be damned if she'd let anyone catch her limping. Skana was well aware of her leader's skill in healing and knew well enough that if she asked for it, Elettra would help. Much like the gift of a rabbit she stubbornly rejected when first entering the Lore, Skana had too much pride to accept such charity. While life seemed to be trying damned hard to stop the crone, she'd never admit defeat.

Her leathery black nose twitched at the wolfish scent, from which she could only tell that it definitely was not one of the Ridge wolves. Her eyes narrowed, sweeping over the wide expanse of grasses as she searched. Her sight revealed nothing of interest, with a clouded glaze cast over half of everything anyways. A huff and a wisp of vapor left her jaws as she continued onward, wondering if an eye that half worked was worth having it at all. Snout to the earth she followed the trail, finally coming upon a black heap settled in the grasses. Lifting her head, her notched ears cupped forward and her brushy tail arched upward, for the most part neutral in position but leaving no guesses as to where the woman thought she stood. Skana's eerie amber gaze was fixed on the other female, seeming to look at and through the wolf at the same time. Skana remembered the deplorable state travel had left her in upon arriving in this land, and noted the lean frame of the charcoal wolf. "You not from around here?" She asked in a neutral tone.

(This post was last modified: Dec 29, 2012, 09:31 AM by Skana.)

          Thinking if she laid in this spot long enough, forever, it would have at least brought her to some sort of resolution of peace in her life. No will to even raise her tail in a thump, Ecco stared into the nothingness in the narrow vision of blades of grass and some of the sky from what her peripheral vision seen. Her withered frame blended in with the grasses of the meadow; the rest of her unmoving, and what sparse tufts of fur flitting in a light breeze, moving with the rest of the ocean of green (which was wilting itself in the cold).

          "You not from around here?"

          Ecco only minutely craned her neck in the direction of the voice, where her gaze was met with a half-image of a large female in her proximity. From her narrowed vision and what her peripheral eye could see, the large female was dark brown, holding a warm chocolate tint with creamy undertones. One eye rivaled the amber hue of Ecco's own eyes, although the other was clouded over. Even that one amber eye of the female before her probably held more life and wisdom than Ecco's young amber gaze did, which lost its essence of fire and passion many months ago. There were fine indentations of scars across the female's face, telling of silent tragedies and hardships.

          For a moment, Ecco glanced away. As if her mind was slow in registering her question, a sigh heaved from her, raising her flank up and then down as if attempting to meld her presence away from this world and sink into the Earth itself. "If I was from here," Ecco started, taking a pause as if out of breath, out of exhaustion for even talking. "I don't think I'd have thoughts of being all right with dying right here, right… now." Her eyebrows tensed, then looked away from the female entirely, unmoving. No shame, no sarcasm, not even a hint of any particular emotion was put into that statement. It was just bland words.

Left waiting for a moment too long, Skana was almost surprised when the wolf finally raised her head the slightest amount and offered forth a few weary words in answer. Skana's stare hardened, her scrutiny taking a vicious edge. Skana could see no blood, could smell no sour stench of ongoing infection, no signs of outward harm to the younger wolf. There was no indication of impending death. She looked worn and bedraggled, sure, but did not seem to be on the cusp of moving to the other side by her physical state alone. She sure as hell sounded like it, though. Skana supposed some diseases did reside hidden within the flesh, and others in the heart. She had felt the latter herself, but like all things it was only an obstacle to overcome. It annoyed her when people would just lay down and give up. She could see in the female's posture, voice, and most of all, the emptiness of her gaze, that she had already given up.

"All right with dying." Skana grumbled, her voice incredulous. "What, did a snake bite you? Or are you just tired of it all?" She could have easily turned away and kept on walking, to let the female stew in her own suffering alone. This woman wasn't her subordinate, wasn't one of hers or one of Elettra's, and it was really no matter of her own if the wolf did die out here under the unseeing face of the sun. Skana didn't pity the wolf, but somewhere in her old shriveled heart did she feel some sort of empathy. "Get up. Life isn't cheap enough to throw away like that."

(This post was last modified: Dec 29, 2012, 09:31 AM by Skana.)

          Did a snake bite you… huh. An entertaining thought. The D'Oliva would add that to her mental list of ways to make her demise short, sweet, and semi-painless. Tired of it all? If there was any way to explain that better, yes. Matter of fact… "Don't believe you can get any worse falling ill, miscarrying your first litter, and stripped of your pack." Her words were strangely unemotional. Her miscarriage was something she couldn't bring herself to be crying about every night before sleep. Come to think of it, not a single tear was shed. It wasn't like she knew them personally, despite growing inside of her and how they were literally a part of her. Maybe it was her naive attitude, being her first lost litter.

          The older female commanded Ecco to get up. Ecco shifted her amber eyes back to her, not moving a muscle. The rest of her body would clearly protest the command, quite comfortable in the spot it was in. Ecco noticed her tattered ear, silently observing back to the multitude of scars blemishing her face. Ecco wanted to know why a female who was aged and appeared to be wise was so scarred like that. Everyone had their back stories to them, but it had been unusual in Ecco's birth pack to see the females deeply scarred unless it was from a hunting accident. Age was beginning to take over the female, though she appeared well fed and sturdy enough to still have life in her (well, life that was more than what was in Ecco).

          The D'Oliva's eyebrows creased, giving a snort. "Why should I? Look at me. Nobody's going to see any potential in this. I'd be a fool wasting time going to pack borders here like this. Completely broken." Ecco responded, a fraction of emotion cracking in her tone at broken. Who knew if after that miscarriage she would have the capability to even breed again. She was more susceptible to Canine Distemper now she had once been infected, so she was basically the entity she was born into: nothing but a lowly Subordinate, not having a chance in the higher rankings nor to successfully carry on a legacy. That's how she looked at it, at least.

Skana huffed a long sigh, her head slowly shaking. It was a sad tale, particularly for a wolf so young, but it really wasn't the end of the world. She had the feeling she was dealing with a petulant child who didn't want to get out of bed. She had to remember this was a grown woman, her pain as real as anything else. Her plight struck a chord with Skana's, though she didn't know the exact details. As much as she would have liked to lift the small black wolf by the scruff and set her right on her feet, she knew that wouldn't really help matters. Her stubborn pride wouldn't let her leave the broken wolf in pieces, and if she had to she really would drag the female up.

"I just see a fool wasting time lying around like she's dead. It could be worse, you could be dead. Yes, I suppose you wish you were dead. But you're alive, and within that I see potential. With that sour attitude, maybe not as much potential, but attitudes can always change." Re-positioning her battle scored limbs beneath her, she sat on the cold earth. "Lucky for us wolves, we're social creatures. Just depending on ourselves to survive, that's tough. But with others..." She let the thought hang unfinished, her gaze drifting out over the plains. It had been pride that had held Skana back from joining a pack again. Skana hadn't wanted to lay down and die, but found it difficult to accept the shelter a pack provided. Shade had come at the right time, giving Skana the kick she needed to swallow her pride. Maybe all this girl needed was a 'kick'.

"I should be dead, could be dead, either torn apart or starved out in the middle of nowhere. Stripped of my pack, and my mate torn into a thousand tiny pieces, I could have just given up too." Her voice was hard, not without emotion but rather steeled to the truth. What had happened was history, to be remembered but not lingered upon. She looked back down to the ebony wolf. "But I walked my sorry ass to this slice of nowhere and a pack took me in, for just doing what I can. I think it was worth it. Anyways, you've got more potential than this old bag of bones."

(This post was last modified: Dec 29, 2012, 09:30 AM by Skana.)

          A fool. A simple word that struck an annoyed tone within her. It wasn't like Ecco wanted to be in this situation. It wasn't like she wanted to give up her title of a safe and secure female in leadership, to leave behind the once love of her life, to leave everything she ever knew in her existence up until this point. The D'Oliva felt as if she held some sort of right to be this beaten down, to act the way she was. "If I was finally dead, I wouldn't have to deal with all this anymore." Came a bitter reply, albeit weak in reasoning and point. She was right about something, though; attitudes could change with time. Life might have been at the very worst point, but it was a lot better than not being in existence, not doing something, or something happening, to change it all around. Perhaps Ecco was just tired of getting beat down constantly. It was hard to get back up when all everyone wanted to do was shove you down, especially life overall.

          Perhaps there was a silver lining in it all, and the 'kick' Ecco needed was from her. Ecco's annoyance was brief, and her heart immediately softened again once the female spoke about the social nature of wolves. Deep down, Ecco missed her birth pack more than anything. No matter how intelligent, how foolish, or how insignificant another was, the female hit it on the head when the longing for another's companionship was something that could be easily obtained within any given situation. Even now, with herself withering away in this meadow, the elder female found some sort of way to approach, even if she could have walked right past Ecco to leave her for dead. "I don't know. I was born at the end of the wolf food chain... to a subordinate pair of wolves. Small, not that strong, only around to serve the better at their convenience." Ecco sighed. With the amount of other lone wolves out there, there were better candidates than what she could offer.

          Ears flicking to her steel words, her amber eyes shifted back up to her. Her scars seemed to shine anew with her brief taste of her own downfalls of the past, most of which similar to Ecco's own losses. Her scars and her tale made Ecco want to know more about her; how someone who was on the brink of losing it all (including their life and sanity) could be brought back up and taken in, even with all their faults of the past. Ecco let the female's words skin in, feeling some sort of newfound connection made from her end. So she knew, or at least had a very close idea, of Ecco's place. "So you've been through the same, and look at you now." Even with her scars, at least she was still thriving. Well nourished. Alive. She was no bag of bones at all. Here was a seasoned wolf with experience, wisdom, insight.

          It seemed there was much contemplation going on across the D'Oliva's face and in her mind. There was silence before she spoke again. While her voice was previously crackling and low, there seemed to be recognition in her tone that Ecco was considering the reasoning the female spoke of. Just doing what Ecco could for the packs in this region didn't necessary work in her favor. One of them chased her from their borders for merely attempting to help assist with a wound. "What would the packs even be looking for here? Potential, I mean..." Ecco questioned. Perhaps the female could give her some insight about the canine culture in these lands to better familiarize herself with them.

Skana was satisfied to see that the wolf's annoyance at her harsh words was short lived, and that she was succeeding somewhat in getting through to her. Slowly she nodded at the female's mention of her lowly birth. Skana didn't place much value in royalty given rather than earned. It said more of a wolf who fought their way up the rungs of the hierarchy ladder than those who were placed at it's pinnacle simply by incident of lineage. However, being stuck at the bottom did make it much more of a challenge to do any sort of climbing to the top.

The female seemed to be digesting what the elder had said, and with bit of light returned to her eyes and spirit in her voice she had asked of what the packs here might be looking for. Skana hummed in thought, not one to hurry her answers.

"Packs always need hunters, and you just need legs and teeth for that. Any pack would find it hard to turn someone away who was a capable hunter. Even if you haven't the brawn for deer, I've seen more agile wolves do quite well as fishers; with a bit of practice, of course. Guardians are fairly important too, if you've the mettle for that sort of thing." Skana mentioned these things with somewhat of an assumption that the younger wolf was physically capable. Hunting seemed a more likely route than guarding, however. She was sure there were small, scrappy wolves out there who could hold their own as sentinels, but Skana had the feeling this slight woman was not one of them.

Looking over the dark wolf, she wondered if perhaps disease had rendered her unable of such physical tasks, as age had taken her abilities from herself. As she had found, just because one couldn't hunt didn't mean they were entirely useless. She was sure the younger wolf had her share of life experiences, but Skana did not feel advising an advisory position to the female would be a good idea. She still had much left to learn, even past what life had already thrown at the young woman.

"I've met a few healers..." She started, thinking of something that might be suitable for the lady. She held off on mentioning it was her very own leader she had in mind as a healer, though she was certainly not the only one. "That wasn't something I was even familiar with until I came here. If you know a bit of medicine, that's pretty valuable to a pack. And even if you don't, I know there are a couple healers running around the Lore that might teach you a thing or two."

(This post was last modified: Dec 29, 2012, 09:30 AM by Skana.)

          Ecco listened with patient to the elder female's words of pack potential. Hunting. The good thing about Ecco's time on her own was she lost enough fat content to the point where her speed was quite unusual for her small stature. The D'Oliva was impressively quick on her paws and agility coupled with flexibility made her just as agile as deer prancing through a heavy vegetated forest. She was right about one thing: running and a set of teeth (in which thankfully, Ecco had lost none yet) were usually all one needed to be at least a mediocre hunter. Her dark ears perked at the mention of fishing, to which Ecco revived her particularly unique skill from growing up. Coming from the Far North where her birth pack often relied on fishing holes amid the sub-zero temperaments, fishing was one of the more trickier skills a canine could learn. "I know about fishing." Ecco chimed in, suddenly entertained with the thought of practicing again. Guardianship was something Ecco had no interest in due to her size and strength at the moment.

          Healing was another one Ecco could relate to, as surprisingly for her condition, she did know the basics. There was a newfound life suddenly breathed into the Alexander wolf, as she lifted herself from her sullen state of laying down to at least sit decently on her haunches. Ecco gave herself a shake, coming more eye level with the elder female than gleaming at her from a peripheral standpoint. She had been kind thus far to listen and offer her words of advice to Ecco, and Ecco was intrigued to learn more. "So... since it sounds like the packs aren't too critical of an outsider's skills, how many are here exactly? What pack are you a part of?" Ecco said, taking interest in whatever knowledge she could gain from this encounter. The elder female was being more than a lifting help for Ecco in this moment, for she was really her only source of future survival at this point.

Skana nodded confirm the wolf's assumption, taking from her own experience as a leader that it would take a particularly disagreeable or useless wolf for her to turn them away. She hadn't personally acquainted herself with each pack however, and could only speak generally. "I would think so. As long as you're earnest about what you do and pull your own weight, it shouldn't be difficult for you to find a pack to call home."

"These are the four that I know of, that still exist today." She began, letting her eyes drift unfixed and staring over the plains in thought. "There is Swift River to the north, and Grizzly Hollow to the west. A pack also resides in the mountains known as Poison Path. I can't say much about any of them, but I can at least say nothing particularly bad about any of them." Skana avoided mention of her leader's conflict with the king of the Hollow. From her perspective, it seemed to be a personal issue, and without further evidence she would not warn anyone against them.

"My pack is Willow Ridge, just a little ways north of here and south of Swift River. My leader is Elettra Archer, very firm in her ruling but not unreasonable." Her eyes snapped back to those of the younger wolf, a warm motherly glow in Skana's unclouded amber eye. The crone had found she was growing fond of the younger, if not a little stubborn, female. She did hope things turned out well for her, rather than a continuation of her rough life so far. "If you ever do come by, I wouldn't mind putting in a good word for you to her." Suddenly Skana realized she didn't even know the woman's name, and a laugh threatened to break through with a grin on her face. How rude of her to forget her manners. "Say, what's your name, by the way? I'm Skana Coho." She said with a slight dip of her greyed muzzle.