Swift River Hold Me Close

<i>Never let me go...</i>

Hotei sighed. Most everyone was angry with him for some reason, and the black wolf had only an inkling of what that reason was. He shook his patches of black fur where the thick ebony mane should be around his neck, then growled through the brown fur held tightly in his jaws.

Unhappy with himself and the way his packmates were uneasy around him Hotei had gone out alone to hunt once again. He didn't want to bother anyone with his presence so the dark wolf kept away from the most traveled routes through the territory. The scarred wolf avoided the pack den instead finding a nice clearing in the trees where he might be able to enjoy his meal. For a long time Hotei just sat there staring at the raccoon he had caught wondering why it was that he wanted to eat alone. Wasn't there anyone in the pack who actually liked him?

One face came to his mind immediately after he'd asked the question to himself. Jessie. She had been the most welcoming of the Swift River wolves. Was it maybe because he had met her once before joining the pack?

"Maybe I should see if she's around?." Hotei looked up at the sky innocently dreaming about the female who was quickly capturing his heart. He wondered why he hadn't seen her for a while. A sliver of doubt formed in his mind. Maybe she's avoiding me too.. He snarled through the raccoon fur while biting down angrily on it. No she can't be.. Maybe Jessie has just been busy. He tried calming himself allowing his fur to smooth back down and removing his teeth from the dead animal.

Lifting his massive black head Hotei uttered a lonely call for Jessie. Once he was finished the wolf sat pining for her in his snowy clearing just waiting, hoping for her to show up.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/bluepups/Jessie-Table.png);background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; padding-top:250px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 15px;">

Not long ago, a loner had dragged its way into Swift River territory…leaving Ice and Jessie in a maddening clash, along with Triell…who she heard came shortly after. Not long after her fall, did Jessie start resting more, any kind of movement hurt…unless it happened to be with the back of her body. When she had fallen, the gray fae had apparently hit her head on a rock, leaving her with a pain in her head every now and then. It wasn’t the worst though…she was sure the worst injury she had was the long scratch that went right down her chest. The scab was extremely hard to miss unless you were blind and none of the wolves in Swift River, that she knew of, were blind.

For the time being she settled with laying down inside the denning area, her green eyes watching the area, wondering if she would see any sign of her family members. She knew that little Rissa dancing around would no longer be a currency here…neither would seeing Indru slowly stroll around, taking his time with everything he did. Time seemed to pass slowly when she had nothing to do, so she usually just settled to looking up in the sky and trying to figure out how some things in the world worked. Her time was not saved though, for the familiar voice of Hotei called for her.

She had not seen him since the incident with Rhysis…and honestly, she had been avoiding him for some time, fearing that he would snap at her again for being a coward. The weirdest thing had happened though…he had instantly changed from Hotei to Burn in a seconds notice. It wasn’t even something any of them had been expecting and it had caught Jessie by complete surprise. It was something she had wanted to talk about with him, but had been getting distracted ever since the fight…and a small part of her wanted to see him, to take comfort in his form and scent, and it was those tiny thoughts that forced her up.

She grunted with the effort and licked her shoulder briefly before limping towards where the call had come from. She had definitely lost a considerable amount of weight, something she had been trying to work on, but hadn’t had enough strength or speed to catch anything…if she even managed to see anything. This winter almost seemed as if it were promising it to be a cruel one, and Jessie didn’t think about it too much as she slowly made her way towards the male that she had mixed feelings about. Along the way her breath started quickening, before she quietly let out a short howl to ensure him that she was coming to see him.

It took awhile…but when she got there, she took in the handsome male before her, burnt off fur, skin, and all. Her ears twitched as she took him in, a small smile coming over her face as she limped towards him. She nuzzled him on the shoulder gently, before laying down on the ground, exhaustion taking over her body once again. She cleared her throat quickly, her lips moving easily as she spoke to him, "How have you been doing?" She braced her heart for another hit as she spoke to him, unsure of how he would react to her touch and words.

As soon as he heard pawsteps Hotei was tense awaiting who their owner was. He had heard Jessie's short howl answering back, but she was taking rather long time to get there. This worried Hotei further. Until he saw her form grace his vision.

He was all at once appalled. Why was she injured? He didn't even get the chance to answer her question as he looked over her beautiful form in shock. With a highly worried look settled upon his brow the balck wolf instantly got up and came to Jessie. He began quickly sniffing her all over and licking her cheeks, chin, and injuries. What happened? he wondered with a mixture of hurt and sadness in his mind.

After checking her over like a frantic puppy Hotei sidled up next to her sharing his warmth and licked her nose. Pausing his yellow gaze set upon her emerald ones Hotei asked quietly."Who did this to you?."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/bluepups/Jessie-Table.png);background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; padding-top:250px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 15px;">

It didn’t seem as though he paying any attention to her words though, much more fussing over how she looked…or her injuries for that matter. When he approached her, a wave of doubt trickled into her mind, but it was quickly blown away when she saw the passing look of concern play over his handsome yellow eyes. This was not Burn…it was Hotei! It confused Jess, but she didn’t let that show to him, she simply let him lick and check her over. She honestly wasn’t too bad, just thin with a long injury going down her chest, it would heal with time…at least she hoped it would. There wasn’t a healer that the girl knew of that was in Swift River, and she had no clue if she would ever have infection or anything of the sort.

When he settled down next to her, her own ears twitched when she heard his voice. It was normal again…not Burn’s voice. She took a deep breath as she looked up and into his yellow eyes. He hadn’t heard about the loner? She was quite sure Ice or Triell would have said something to keep everyone on the look out for the wolf. She silently shrugged her shoulders as her voice spoke to him, "A loner came into the territory. Ice, Triell, and I got into a fight and the loner attacked me. I collapsed. Not a big deal." She said this with every bit of calamity in her voice, as if nothing was wrong with her.

She knew why she had come though…she was seeking comfort from someone, and comfort was something Hotei could easily give her, but she also wanted to know about him and Burn. They were the same wolf…that she knew, she just didn’t understand why they acted completely different. Maybe a healer knew what was going on…but she? She had no clue as to what was going on with the burnt male in front of her. The thought made her stop though…burnt…Burn. It was a coincidence…and Jessie had to stop herself from asking…but in the end she couldn’t, "Hotei…ehm….how did you get those burns?"

She looked down at her paws immediately, embarrassed that she had asked such a thing to him.

Hotei watched her and listened as she told him what had happened. A wolf had gotten through the border? That was definately not good. The dark wolf thought of reminding himself later to check on the borders more often. Then he smiled and licked her muzzle.

"I bet they came out of it far worse than you. You probably tore them apart right?" He grinned then watched her face for any sign of amusment. He didn't like it when she was always frowning or thoughtful. He liked to see her with a smile. That always put thing right with him.

Instead she spoke about the one thing that always clouded his thoughts. She asked about how he'd gotten his burns. Closing his yellow eyes and putting on a pouty face Hotei tried to change the topic.

"You don't wanna know that boring old story..eh.. ah.. what about I tell you how I fell into a river once and went right over a waterfall! " He tried to make the new story sound much more interesting with a nervous grin but his yellow eyes gave away the hurt he was feeling. It always hurt when he thought about back then. His old scars felt like they were set aflame again just thinking about the fire...and about the family that was lost in the fire.

Her tail swayed behind her easily behind her while she spoke to him. It was a soothing feeling that came over her, though when he joked with her, she shook her head at him. She had definitely come out worse than the loner, that she knew of, at least. She had barely remembered anything after her fall. Apparently her sister had helped her back to the den so that she could rest…she didn’t even remember moving from her spot on the ground. She almost felt bad…about mentioning his burns…but when he changed the subject on her, the girl’s head snapped up to meet his yellow gaze. Hurt was laced in them and in Jessie’s own emerald eyes was something else. The gray and white female definitely had an attitude and she didn’t want to let it out, but ever since Indru had left, her own presence had begun to change.

Her eyes flashed at him, as if anger was welling up inside her just waiting to be released, when really, it was just aggravation. Her words were bitter when she spoke them, but her tone held a high edge of seriousness in them… "It is obviously something if it still hurts you." She sat down, her head held high and gaze challenging. It wasn’t anything to do with their ranking, but much more to do with their relationship. Jessie felt something…she didn’t know what it was, but whenever she looked at Hotei she was warm inside and she was so comfortable around him, but she knew she wasn’t falling for him because of the comfort…it was something else. She wanted him to trust her though…and she wanted to be able to trust him too..

Hotei watched the emotions play across Jessie's face. Though she tried to hide them. He was not happy with her being annoyed with him. His ears folded down disheartened by her words. At least she wasn't leaving him, that much he was glad for. However Hotei hated having to relive through those memories. So many wolves were lost to him during the fire even if the black wolf did not know that those wolves still lived today and had not succumbed to the seering flames.

Closing his eyes and laying his head onto his furless scarred front paws Hotei face twisted into one full of pain.

"A..a long time ago.. when I was young.. our pack was called the Hidden Tree pack. I loved it back then... all my family was around, and we were doing well for ourselves. ." He paused remembering old uncle Honijo and his parents. Their smiling faces lit his mind. "A fire.. it started somewhere.. it tore through our home, and...and the wolves, everyone had to run..." A snarl appeared on his face and the dark mans eye opened staring at nothing. His memories gripped the black wolfs mind.

"I was running from the flames...running with Torla, but a tree set aflame fell.. It divided us and my fur.. caught on fire. I was burning, running through the scarlet orange lit forest and burning... " His body began to shake as each of the males old scars began to burn along with the memory. "My skin felt like it was being pulled off by a thousand fangs, It spread to my body and.. then to my face.. I..I closed my eyes and ran.. I don't know how far.. ." The big black wolf shook beside the gray female snapping his eyes shut and trembling.

"No family helped the burning wolf.. No one called out to him as he smoldered in the dark... burning.. burning..fire lit the dark night.. the dark night was burning..burning..." Hotei was almost hysterical now.

The dark mans trembling stopped. Burn growled darkly sensing the fea next to him. What the hell was he doing telling her his life story? Like she REALLY cared..If she were in the same situation she'd probably have left him too. Running from the falmes.

."Burning... burning... That's all there is to it.. that's how I got these scars little miss..." He growled low but did not pick himself up off the ground, for Burn was also remembering the pain. He lay there staring at his paws with a snarl upon his maw.

more text

The young Swiftpaw sat there with him, waiting for some other form of conversation for him to start. Even she remembered a reason why she had come, because of Burn…but she didn’t know how to start a conversation with him about that, she was just too confused at the moment. When Hotei did speak, she was intrigued to hear that he was actually talking to her about his past. She attentively listened, watching his body movements and facial expressions as he told his story. She could see, in his yellow eyes, the pain that he was holding within him. The painful memory that he desperately wanted to forget, yet the burns had scarred him with the memory for the rest of his life. The mention of the topic made Jessie feel worse and worse by the passing seconds…he was in so much pain. She had never wanted that for him.

When his story ended, the voice that greeted her sent chills down her spine. Her mind formed the words that he had been saying in her head silently. Burning wolf…Burn. Her emerald eyes flashed as they were redirected towards the crumpled black wolf in front of her. The voice that greeted her was not Hotei, but Burn…the switch had happened in a manner of seconds. She had no prior knowledge of this happening to any other wolves that she knew of and she had never heard of any others having the problem. The small grey female approached him, crouching down, though slightly, for he was quite a large wolf compared to her, and touched her nose to his cheek. She did not fear him like so many others did. She cared about the male and she would never fear him, no matter what state he was in. Her voice was gentle when she spoke to him, "I‘m here for you, though perhaps not always. I will be your strength whenever you need me to be." She then reached forward and nuzzled his cheek, licking his shoulder in the process.

Ever since his first meeting with this female Burn had been intrigued by her. She had shown to be stronger emotionally than all the others he'd met. Her gaze held firm to his and the snarl on his face faded to thoughtfulness. When all the world was against him. Would she still want to be watching his back as she did so now?

For once he was the one to avert his gaze. Unable to look the woman in they eye. She was too good for him and Burn knew it. He only hoped that she would see that soon enough and leave him. Leave him before he got too close to her. Dangerously close..

"Don't worry about me..." His grizzled voice sounded softly while the dark male stared at the earth. How many dead creatures make up the soil beneath my paws? How many wolves have died on the ground in Lore? His thoughts turned grave. He should have died back then. When his body was turned to fire.

Why had he survived? To watch what was left of his family be torn apart?

No.. Just to survive.. Hotei's response was to the opposing force in his mind. To try to live again.. love again.. Their yellow eyes closed, each sensing the female as she licked their face. For once both minds were on the same page.

"If I ever need..you.. If the forest was on fire again. I will come for you..." He spoke as both Burn and Hotei. Both dark and light personalities agreeing to the bond they had with the gray female beside them.

They were now face to face, golden eyes meeting emerald ones as they stared at one another, the sense of attraction easily noticeable between the two. It was she who had broken the gaze between them, the intense look in his eyes causing her heart level to rise. Jessie was not one to be afraid of anything or anyone, but it seemed that losing someone she was close to always seemed to be the one thing that scared her to death. It always seemed that after she became close to someone fate would rip them out of her paws and wound her heart. She easily confirmed her fear within her soul, she was not just afraid to lose Hotei…or Burn, she was terrified of losing them. His voice caused her to look his way again, her worries nothing that he could stop nor anything that would stop. Foolish man…always thinking himself better off without anyone, but what was in a man if he had no one and just himself?

She was so tempted to go closer to him but not wanting to alarm the male anymore simply stayed in the same position she was in. By the monotone sound of his voice, she just had to stare into his eyes once again, taking them in and feeling her heart flutter. His words touched her heart and in turn, Jess returned to favor, “As I will make sure that we find each other before the storm so we may stick together afterwards…” Her ears flickered back slightly, as if listening to something unheard. Emerald eyes gleaming in the setting sun, she tilted her head slightly, her gaze turning back to him. Clenching her jaw, she looked down, as if stuttering over her words, though confident in what she was saying, “I think I love you…” Her voice was barely a whisper as they looked to the ground before they looked back to meet his own.