Swift River kiss me hard before you go

She stood as still as a statue.The slender sides of the girl heaved with the sharp inhale and exhale she released – her eyes stared down to the depths of the river she so carelessly breached. The rock her creamy paws found strength in was slick with the splash of the rapid waters, ice and frost slicking the grip of the smooth surface dangerously.

Kisla Tainn feared the water – any Swift River wolf who had witnessed her near drowning experience would know of such a thing, and yet here she stood, just as the sun began its arc to the heavens above to greet Relic Lore with another day. Another day that Rissa would not see.

Her heart throbbed; the anxious yet sickening pounding of such a vital organ within her chest seemed it drown out the noise around her, as if she could only hear the blood that pumped through her veins. Rissa was gone. She would never come back.

What was it her father had told her once? Long in the past, when she was but a cub and he had actually attempted to be in her life. Had pretended to care for them all. He had told her the duties of the Yearling rank – she and her brothers would look after the future cubs of the pack, ensure their safety.. teach them what they needed to know along with the pack. Kisla had failed in this, just as she had failed at any other venue of her short life.

Now, as she stared blankly out at the water, her paws inching ever closer to the edge, she waited to feel that familiar thrum of fear that accompanied her at such closeness to the water. Instead, she felt empty. The hole in her heart caused by Rissa’s disappearance blanketed her, and even on the brink of what could be an easy death if she truly tried, the she-wolf could not even feel alive.

sparking up my heart

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the ICE breaks. Today was a heavy day. He had woken, curled up with his tail over his nose and sturdy limbs folded beneath him, with absolutely no desire to get up at all. It was like all the fight had gone out of him, as if he for a moment had resigned itself to the fate of Swift River weighing them all down — as if he agreed to be drowned. After longer than he would've liked to admit, he'd finally rolled over and gotten back up, shaken off the snow and set out in a world that felt grayer than it was. It was like every responsibility, every sign and every shortcoming came back to haunt him that morning. Even the rabbit he devoured from a cache was tasteless and felt like dirt in his mouth. And every thing he had done wrong, or even borderline wrong, etched itself brightly at the forefront of his mind: the ridiculous way he'd acted to Indru and Corinna at first, befriending Ava (she was supposed to be an enemy!), not tearing Indru apart that spring, trusting him again, Marsh, Ava and the hellebore, going up the mountain, forcing Kisla into the Woods, not being able to stop Indru leaving with Torrel, not being enough, allowing Blaze to injure Jessie, Hotei, Aiyana, Rissa... He lived and she did not. That was enough to nearly make him stop breathing. Ice had never been fond of running water, if it was deeper or faster than a mellow creek. Following a wolf to Swift River had been absurd, and yet he don't done it, for some unknown reason — perhaps it had been the pull of star, moon and tide, something beyond his understanding which had driven him to accept. And now, after a year with them, he was.. more used to it. Even after the river had flooded he'd not feared it, and this fall he'd willingly dragged Triell into it (maybe because Triell had been unwilling). And so, he didn't find it entirely strange when he found himself close to it, as he didn't bother to avoid it these days. He'd shown Rissa to hunt water birds in it. A tawny shape balanced on a rock, and Ice drew to a halt where he was, halfway out of the forest. His white pelt blended in with the snow, his silver eyes lined by black and dark nose, along with the iron gray hairs down his back, broke his shape up even more. Why was Kisla perching on a rock by the river? But Ice didn't ask — he didn't really feel like interacting with anyone, least of all one he felt he somehow always let down, yet for some reason he couldn't will his paws to move away. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

She waited – bated breath unfurling soft turrets of smoky vapour in the cold winter air as she listened to the rushing waters. She waited for her senses to kick back to life, for logic to intervene with grief and pull her from the more slippery edges of the rocks, and yet she continued to feel nothing. Even as the gentle crunch of snow announced the presence of another, she could barely grasp their presence. Her bright green eyes, the very same as her mothers, glanced up sharply then, and she saw him. The frosted pelt of the male was thick from the winter months, and even as she felt her heart clench in grief just from the haunted stare in his eyes she found him more handsome than before.

Neither spoke – his torment upon her within the haunted woods had not left her so open to the male, and without a word, she turned her eyes back to the moving waters. Had the gentle noise of pawpads belonged to Fenru, or her mother, Kisla’s wall of emotions likely would have broken down heavily then. Yet she remained, as if she too had become the rock she now perched, and she swore if she looked hard enough, she could see the reflection of her sister in the hues of the rocks of the river bottom.

“Torrel, Rissa.. Aiyana..” she finally began softly, her muzzle canting back in the direction of the wolf who pulled at her emotions in so many different manners. “They weren’t supposed to have the life Rihael, Fen and I did. They were supposed to know their father, and to never witness their mother’s pain.” There was a small stretch of silence between these statements, and the creamy she-wolf felt her lips tug back in disgust. “Instead they have been smothered by darkness far more than my littermates and I have.” She swallowed then, green eyes regarding the icy figure of the male. “Why?”

(This post was last modified: Feb 14, 2013, 01:27 PM by Kisla.)

sparking up my heart

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the ICE breaks. For a moment he wondered if she'd not noticed his approach, but then she turned, to look at him. Would Rissa have looked like that, had she been given the chance to grow up? Perhaps a tad darker, and with golden eyes instead of green... Silently he kept his gaze upon her face, tracing the familiar likeness of Corinna in it. She seemed more of her mother, than of her father, or was that just a trick of his mind? They had the same mottling, the same pattern of highlights and lowlights, but Indru had been far, far darker. He couldn't deny the fact that she was Indru's child, even if he wanted to; when she looked aside, so did he, glancing at the snow on the river's bank. What was she doing there, anyway? He drew in a breath, opened his mouth as if to speak, but then thought better of it and remained silent. What could he say to her anyway? For as long as she looked away, he fell into his thoughts. Deeper, and deeper, into the mind-numbing apathy of today. Why could a chain of events, the loss of a few, affect them so? How could it hang so heavy on their hearts and minds? Why could it make a young she-wolf, soon to be an adult herself, perch on a rock as if she contemplated the mystery of life and death? As if she pondered to find out on her own? Slowly he drew his gaze to her paws, and watched the play of movement in the muscles of her legs. What if she lost her balance, and fell..? Her voice broke the silence between them and his head craned up, his silver gaze open in their grief. “They weren’t supposed to have the life Rihael, Fen and I did. They were supposed to know their father, and to never witness their mother’s pain.” Indru the Traitor. Indru the Betrayer. Indru, he who abandons. Ice's ears slicked back against his skull. What if he had never allowed Indru back that spring? What if he had driven him off, if he had listened fully to his broken heart, the sense of loss? If they had grown up believing Ice their father — would that somehow have solved everything? He was still here, wasn't he? But what was the point in thinking back, on all those what ifs, when he couldn't go back and change it all? And why did she always leave him bereft of words, of ways to help? In the Woods, the on cure he had known had done nothing; and now, she asked a question he could not answer. He longed to be able to comfort her, to tell her something that made sense, but he had no answer. "I don't know," he finally said, quietly. Large paws whispered over snow as he moved closer, to stand upon the bank below and watch the rush of water fighting the oncoming ice. What more could he say? Again, he opened his jaws as if to speak, but found no words, and shut them again, teeth clicking against teeth. Pieces of the story the Tainn children had reminded him of his own, except his father had been constant. Whenever Indru had been here, he had been loving. Sceral, had not. Ice's ears fell back again. "I sometimes wonder if some things just weren't meant to go the right way." A meager wisdom, without warmth. Pessimistic, but sometimes the only truth. Sighing, he lowered his silver eyes to the river's surface, wishing she would ask him a question he could truthfully answer. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

Indru. The path of Swift River’s pain was easily traced back to the male – the supposed founder of her home. Founded by him or not, he had spent more time in absence of the pack than within it, and in her mind, he was dead to them all even before he had sealed this fate by taking her little brother. It was hard to feel remorse for a cub she had never even truly met, but Indru had stolen the chance to meet him from her, and the pain he had inflicted upon her mother was not only unforgivable, it was worthy of death, in her darker opinion.

As much as the hate and rage burned in her chest from the male she so ironically resembled, Kisla knew the disappearance and death of Rissa could not be placed upon him. If she closed her eyes and focused, she could still hear the sing-song voice of the little girl, and the chirp of a giggle she had when she had been up to a mischievous romp.. which had been almost always. If anything, this had been her downfall. That, and her sister had failed her – Kisla, the yearling to whose main responsibility within the pack was to keep charge over it’s more youthful members. To teach them. To protect them.

Her lip curled, her eyelids sliding shut as Ice’s words washed over her. They gave her no solace.. no true answer to the mystery of the world and why it always had to hurt so damn much. “I feel as if there is a curse over this place. That we were never meant to be happy here.” The words left her muzzle in short of a whispered tone, her paws clenching more firmly upon the rocks as she felt her body sway slightly with the breeze that surpassed them. How easy would it be to allow the water to wash over? To steal her worries and pain, and offer just sweet silence in return? Her heart thudded in her chest then, her throat becoming raw with the turmoil of emotion. Rissa was dead. Torrel had been stolen. Indru and Rihael had abandoned them. And here she was, a useless mess.

sparking up my heart

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the ICE breaks. From being a strong, secure pack, they had been reduced to faithless shambles, whose very hearts ached with memories of loss. Sometimes, he marveled at how they all got up from the ground again, went about their business, hunted, ate, slept, to wake again, and do it all. Then, he realized, it was the routine which saw them through the darkest hours in their lives, and began to cherish it. Now, when he looked back on the past half a year or so, he wondered why everything had happened to them.. why they had been cursed with seeing the moonlight glisten coldly upon the dried blood of Rissa's bared skull. Every trial Indru had forced them through, even way before Ice's time, had somehow built up, and the loss of Rissa had been the climax, the moment when Ice had thought, I can't take another thing. If Indru had been here.. would it have happened, anyway? Ice blinked at the water which rushed past, frothing and foaming, steaming in the chill air. Indru was the clouds which obnubilated their sun, the darkness which lay across them, but ultimately, he was not the reason for Rissa's death. Ice hated him anyway. “I feel as if there is a curse over this place. That we were never meant to be happy here.” Blinking his pale eyes, the Guardian slowly raised his head. A harsh judgment, but one he could relate to, at least now. If he thought back, on how it had been before.. last winter... How happy he had been, in a family that functioned, and appreciated his presence. "Once," he said, quietly, watching as Kisla still perched upon the rock. Would she fall? "I think we were meant to be happy here." Did she want to fall? "Once, I think we were happy here." His gaze fell to Kisla's distorted reflection, easily seeing Indru in it.. though the flashes of her eyes were green, and not gold. "But he lives here, in the water, among the trees... This is his home." Ears pressed against his skull, 'brows drawn up. "Not ours. When he left, he took the happiness with him, and now he haunts us." It was unfair, but you couldn't fight ghosts. A stronger wind pushed against him, and he shivered slightly, casting a glance at the sky. That one wolf could bring so much joy, and then, so much pain, and anger, and frustration... .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

She felt her tongue slip out to smooth across her lips, her eyes suddenly reverting back to the waters as she stiffened. Ice spoke of a happier time – she could not recall such a moment in her life. “Perhaps that was before my time then,” she spoke, not sure if it was or not. Abandoned when she was too young to remember by her father, only to have him reappear again and attempt to settle in their life once more, she could not even recall then when she had been at peace and with happiness in the River. The oncoming promise of siblings had lightened the hearts of all Swift River members it seemed.. all but her own. In that moment, even as much as she loved her sister Aiyana, Kisla could only wish that the girl never had been born. If only to save the dark furred girl from the fate of the world and what Indru had left them to despair over.

But even she knew that was not fair to think. The girl, despite her sudden quietude, was a spark of life in this world. She brought a smile to all those around her, especially her older sister, though she likely did not even realize. To not have Aiyana in this world..

The thought brought on a pain far more unbearable than she had ever imagined.

Pursing her lips slightly, she felt her figure sway, her eyes glancing sharply up to Ice. “Why do we stay then? Aiyana is old enough to travel.” Why then, did they stay in the land her father had built, and brought to ruin all in a few years?

sparking up my heart

alfagjagag kick me. <3

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the ICE breaks. Kisla had been a young girl when Ice had first come to Swift River, not yet a year old, but a clone of her mother all the same. Slender and lissome, with her green eyes, she had always seemed a bit quiet, subdued, timid and well-mannered, so easily being out-shadowed by her more rowdy and loud brother Rihael. Rihael.. who had gone with Indru. For a moment Ice stared at the water gurgling against the patches of ice which clung to stiller parts, and wondered if Tainns were either meant to be outgoing and, inevitable, leavers, or quiet and dark. Fenru, Kisla, Aiyana — they still called the Grove their home, yet they were introvert, nothing at all like Indru, Rihael and Torrel.. whom had all left. "You were here long before me," he said quietly, wondering why he felt guilt over claiming to have been happy here when she had never been. "But I was happy here, for a while, after I just joined.. that winter, until he was trapped on the mountain. And briefly, in the summer, but since then..." He grimaced. It was a long time of trial, a long time to be bereft of joy and easy breathing. She shifted at the edge of his vision and he turned his head around to look at her. Her green eyes were fixed on him, and for a moment he almost felt as if what she said was somehow his fault, but he shoved the notion aside. It wasn't.. really. Flicking his white ears back he sighed, softly, and looked at the other riverbank instead, remembering a sunny day and Rissa's tinkling laugh. "This side of the Serpent is chock full of packs," he began in a quiet voice. "And.. of memories. On the other side, there's sickness and-" His voice hardened, lips pulling back in a sneer. "-Rissa's killers. As long as they draw breath, we're stuck here." Blunt claws gripped the icy rocks as he leaned forward, staring down at the white devil reflection, its distorted silver eyes blazing in the depths of the water. Then, he leaned back with a sigh, and lowered his head. "I really need to go see Borden soon," he mumbled. "We really need to go kill those bastards." But I need to talk to Corinna first. But, not.. not now. Not right now. Right now, he was trying to talk to Kisla, wanting to help her, but afraid he'd just mess it up and make it all worse again. .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul

She stared at him abruptly then – his words striking her odd. Had she been born before Ice had come along? Her mind ached as she attempted to decipher such a thing, believing it nothing more than a lie. Kisla could not recall a time when the pale wolf had not been apart of their family, and her lips settled in a stubborn line in reproach to his words. “I do not remember a time you were not with us,” she offered, her words growing softer. Realization dawned upon her then – she had been upset with Ice for some time, taken by him, enchanted by him. Confusion would always surround her when it came to the male, and yet she also knew without question that life was not right without him with them.. with the pack. Ice was every part of Swift River as her own bloodlines were and she inhaled sharply with the thought.

He spoke of Rissa then and it felt as if the air had been punched from her gut. She swallowed thickly then, her green eyes shifting downward to her paws. It was hard to imagine that even as time went on that the pain inflicted just by the mention of her sister’s name was so great. It was then that she shook her pelt, feeling her figure sway upon the rocks and realizing what a fool she was. Rissa was not of this world, but she was, and playing with the longing of death would solve nothing but only add to the despair Swift River had come to know.

With grace that had only come with age, the she-wolf leapt from her perch on the rock, her paws falling upon soft ground. Her bright eyes cast upon Ice, she loped forward now, hesitance in her steps. She came to him then, her muzzle lifting to touch against his cheek – reassurance reverberating from her very figure. “You will find her killers and you will bring them to their knees.” She spoke with such assurance that she held no doubt the ivory male would avenge her sister. The sister who had been just as a daughter to him, as she had belonged to the pack.. and most of all, Corinna. As much as her heart wrenched with the thought of what Ice’s feelings could be for her mother, there was no indication it was anything but plutonic, and she dared not worry over it any longer.

With this spoken, the girl prowled past him, her figure brushing his to pass her scent upon him as a pack lover would, rather than intimacy, despite the chills it gave her. Ice would lead them to their former glory.. of this, she held no doubt. Without another word, the girl slipped past the brush, further from the male and their brief interlude.

sparking up my heart

you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the ICE breaks. With the clarity of an adult he perfectly recalled seeing the three Tainn yearlings the first time, and the feeling of despair as he wondered how he would ever tell Fenru and Rihael apart. He need but ask his mind to recall the memory of meeting the pack for the first time, with Indru there to keep them anchored and stable; to him, it was absolute truth what he had spoken. She was there before him, period, yet her soft voice was said differently. A frown passed fleetly across his brow before disappearing, and he could not for the world of him figure out what it could mean - but somehow, it made him feel.. pleased. Needed. As if he made a difference, but why, he didn't know. And at the same time, it filled him with infinite sadness, at seeing Kisla so beaten down and sorrowful. For all she remembered he'd been there all along, and not a damn thing he'd done to help her had worked. But then she left her perch, her lithe frame moving closer to his - it was as if something within her had.. changed, grown stronger, like the pieces scattered about had come together again to form a semblance of a whole. Her nose touched his cheek, and his turned, to trail against her soft fur. She spoke, and it sounded more like an order, and he thought that maybe it was the hope she needed to cling to to stay afloat; he had no chance to respond, to reassure her in return, because she was sweeping past him, white and tawny hairs mingling, sharing scents. And then she was just gone, padding away, and he stared after her for a long time. "Kisla..." What did the future have in store for her? .ice aesir

let the stars above shine in your soul