Poison Path Behind the Scenes

This thread is private for Namara. Set on 03/19/12.

A misshapen with a dangerous male had almost cost the Poisoned wolves one of their pack mates. It was not something that was acceptable and that one would pay in the end, Ash would not be sure he would be able to handle not being able to rip flesh away from the one that had harmed Namara. She was family, a pack mate now and Ash needed to protect her. And so, after she had been treated by Eden, the Hervok had been lurking in the shadows, trying to stay hidden from Namara and watch her what she was doing, just to make sure that she was not straining herself too much. The dark hued man had offered taking over patrols for her and even demanding that he do so, but he could only work out certain deals with the committed woman, much the opposite of her brother, who already had two strikes and was incoming on a third.

The night was one of the days that Namara had demanded she do a patrol on her own, and silently in the bushes, the Guardian had sulked along, watching her back and making sure that no harm would come to her. After awhile, he was unsure of what his pack mates thought of him. Some thought he had a good heart, while others thought that he was just cold hearted and cruel, but the special ones, like Treena, Athena, and Belladonna knew of the in between. There was the name again…Treena. Closing his eyes briefly, while still walking, he pictured her in his mind, her beautiful coat, eyes, and her earthly smell. If she would not disappeared would he be the same man he was now? In a way, he thought that it was doubtful and in others, he felt as though some parts of him would still be the same no matter what. In his mind, he had gotten so caught up, that when a branch snapped beneath his paw, he froze, his eyes snapping open and his gaze drifted down to where he had stepped.

Glaring down at his paws he muttered under his breath, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” His ears perked up and he tried to conceal his large body within the shadows that he had grown so accustomed to. Swallowing, his mossy green eyes watched the form of Namara, fearing and knowing that she would have somehow heard and seen him. The bright full moon above their heads did not help his concealment factor. It made everything all the more easy for the light to reach him. And if she would look hard enough, she would just see half of his face in the moonlight. His graced features were not so easily hidden now that sound had been transmitted from his location. He knew next time he would have been be much more careful.

(This post was last modified: Mar 29, 2013, 05:27 AM by Ash.)

I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

Namara limped down the border, it was one of the few times she had been allowed out since her long stay in the Poison Path dens. She had to wash the stink of her fur from the confinement and found that certain positions still caused great pain to flare through her stomach. Though over time it seemed to have subsided a great deal from when it had happened. Of the event itself she remembered little, only the fall, the black wolves and Athena, coming to save her pathetic life. In her heart she felt a greater deal of pain than she ever had. The big she wolf slept more often than not and she knew most would think it due to her injuries but in reality it was very different. Not many knew the female had essentially lost her fire, she felt worthless, as the only care from her pack had been in fleeting moments, and when she had fallen. That's what it takes to care about you Namara, near death.

She was oh so lonely, yet the last remaining spark that lie near dormant in her heart made her give an ultamatum to the world. That even if she was no good, and uncared for unless she was nearly dead, she owed these wolves her life and so would strive valiantly and painfully to keep them safe and alive. Even if, in the end, it really would cost her her life. She cared not of the consequence anymore, for now there was nothing but duty. Namara would carry it with all that was left of her, till the end. She had set off still knowing that being out was probably not healthy for her recovering body and the limp that still plagued her hind leg, but she went anyways, she could not stand being stuck in the den for another second.

Onward she tread keeping the border close by and marking it accordingly. Her mind drifting away from the hurt to that one short moment she had where she could remember Ash being there and she had felt secure. Why she didn't know, but she had felt it surely enough. For some strange reason she felt an almost tender connection with the brute, but that was the extent of it. She had no idea who he really was, or why he was always so angry, nor why he seemed to have so much distaste for Kamota, sure he was to the point of near incompetence but he was a good hearted wolf and he tried. Namara however just was what she was, nothing more nothing less. I just don't understand why he would seem to have a problem every time I turn around, yet show up to help save my life. In truth she guessed it was because he was bound by duty, but still he never had to protect her, and she would never ask.

Lost in thought her head whipped around as the twig snapped, and her heart sped up long enough, to tense her muscles and cause a spasm of searing pain to shoot through her body. "Dammit." She hissed as the blinding pain subsided, she let her eyes focus and began to creep towards the noise, it was Behind her, fear wrapped cold fingers around her spine as she inched closer thinking frantically about whether or not it was a hostile wolf. until at last she saw his face. Half hidden by the bushes but the other half lit by the full moon. really? really? Her anger began to rise, but before she let it hurt again, she breathed very deeply calming herself to a simmer. Be it time of year, or the full moon she could not tell. But the anger drained from her as she gazed at his features. No, he was not the bad guy, just misunderstood. "Ash? Is that you?" She asked in an almost soft voice. Though still just as blunt as ever.

(This post was last modified: Mar 17, 2013, 06:46 AM by Namara.)

The sharp his of pain coming from Namara almost had him flying out of the bushes and to her side, but instead he kept his spot on the edges and in the shadows, where he belonged. Unfortunately, he knew the female to be a curious wolf and he was not surprised when she instantly turned to investigate the sound of the snapped branch. With her paw steps came the soft voice, with the same tone of voice that she had always used with him. With an aggravated snort, he stepped out of the foliage, his bulky shoulders pushing the branches and leaves out of his way as he stepped into the clearing where he could clearly been seen. His mossy green eyes seemed slightly brighter in the light of the full moon as he stared down upon Namara. No other wolves were here and he wasn’t in much of a mood to demand anything from her, and so keeping his stance neutral all he did to assert his dominance was lifting his head way higher into the air. They were alone and to be truthful, he had never had a problem with Namara submitting to him and so he simply kept his tail neutral.

His mind almost instantly skipped to sarcasm when wanting to answer her, but knowing better he simply replied in a polite tone of voice, “Yeah…it’s me. I was just going out on a patrol. I forgot that I had given you the shift tonight.” A voice whispered softly in his head, the sound of a female, though he couldn’t pinpoint who it was, echoed in his head, Silly, Ash. You are such a bad liar. You do not forget things when it comes to your job. The sweet voice was so familiar, so calming, he almost just wanted to lean into it and listen as whoever the voice was whispered into his ear as he fell asleep. The voice was as silky and smooth as honey and it calmed him down to great extents. The anger and stress that he had been feeling slowly faded into the back of his mind, his eyes watching the smaller form of Namara as he walked closer. Trying to change the subject away from his direct lie, he spoke, “How are you feeling, Namara.” The voice echoed in his voice again, If you are going to make your lie believable can you make your questions actually sound like a question and not a statement? Biting his tongue to stop himself from repeating the sentence that was suppose to be a question, he waited, hoping that she wouldn‘t notice his two slip ups.

I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

Forgot? No he did not forget it hadn't even been agreed to until earlier today, and he thinks he can just watch me? Namara snorted, in an irritated way, and left her tail limp her head low even though his following her, made her want to raise both and beat him senseless just so he got that she did not need it. But of course she knew she didn't have the strength to do such a thing and she never would, not to Ash. There was a silence that followed his words as she decided whether or not she should let him think she was fooled. Oh Namara, you already know you can't do that, it would be no fun. so when her response came it was short and sharp. But when she spoke it it seemed to make things worse, for her. "Ash, don't lie to me, I know you were following me otherwise you would have been growling at me to get back to my den."

The big silvery she wolf knew that in truth she should be grateful and in no way talking to her leader in such a tone. But she did not want to fall in the avalanche, nor be fussed over. The more she thought about it the angrier she got, It had only been an instant, her eyes began to gleam angrily at the alpha and in a split second it happened. It was a shooting pain worse than most she had had since the accident and of course her tongue would not hold its place. An exceedingly loud yelp escaped her muzzle as she fell, or rather sank to the ground. "I don't need anything!." She growled the words and kept her teeth clenched until she had become calm enough to speak clearly again. She stood back up and faced him, "I'm sorry Ash. I shouldn't have gotten angry. But I don't need everyone fussing over me feeling as if they have to, I will be fine." That said she kept her last few words to herself I only want to be fussed over if I deserve it. If I'm needed, or even wanted. She tried to shake the thoughts but they were wedged solid.

Then a thought began to prick at her, maybe talk to Ash, maybe he can help, or at least make you feel like you're not a burden? She waited, knowing she was about to be sent to the den for her outburst, Namaras head hung and waited for him to snap at her and say it.

(This post was last modified: Mar 18, 2013, 03:31 AM by Namara.)

Of course, the little voice whispering inside of his head was correct. In the future, he would definitely try to pinpoint who the voice was, or if he was just plain going insane, but Namara’s sharp cutting voice cut his thoughts off and his green eyes watched her carefully, listening as each sharp word bit deeper into his mind. He sat down, his head watching her movements and turning whenever she almost reached out of his peripheral. When she finished snapping at him for the first time, he had to admit, she had an extremely good point. If she would not have had this scheduled he would have immediately demanded her to go back to the den and rest. The voice once again came back, I told you, Ash. Pursing his lips, he stayed silent as he listened to the many more angry words that followed, along with her falling down. Instantly, he stepped forward and bent down to support her shoulder, a small sigh erupting from his maw. Her final words were what left him silent for a small smile, his body plopping down next to hers, trying to give her some comfort.

Twitching his ears, he turned his head to look over at her, his eyes cold as he replied, “First off, I don’t have to do anything, Namara. If I do something, it means that I am choosing to. Second, the only reason I’m looking after you is because…I…” he paused for a moment, thoughts racing through his head. Well shit…now he had to think of an excuse as to why he was looking after her. The female voice once again returned, Didn’t I always tell you to think before you speak? Clenching his jaw, he cleared his throat, acting as if he had choked on something, “Because I have a say over the well being of my pack mates. And lastly, if I didn’t stick around your temper would get out of paw and what if I wasn’t here and a loner was on the borders and this happened? It wouldn’t be of exactly the best ending, don’t you think?” He stared at her, slightly relieved that he had gotten his act back. Or so you think, the voice whispered, Close. But not close enough, my dear Ash. Blinking his eyes, he tried to block out the honey voice, as hard as it was and concentrate on Namara.

I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

Namara almost wanted to laugh while he spoke, whatever it was he was keeping from her she could only wonder at for seconds before she wasn't able to care. His last words began to ring in her ears, over and over. Maybe it would be the best ending for me, maybe I should have died on that mountain. After all Athena had only shown up by chance and if she hadn't been there Namara would already be dead, frozen, probably with teeth marks in her throat so why not end it that way anyways. Her body and mind were a raging torrent of emotions, she flashed between that "spring sensation" as she called it, and her own pain, and hatred for herself. But now the pain was winning out. Maybe I should really be dead. her mind was a broken record repeating death over and over now. She had been so close to it, why hadn't she given up? Would it have been better for everyone? Why did she have to survive this? It would have killed other wolves but not her no, she was being tortured, stuck in her own mess.

Eventually she was able to turn her silver stare back to Ash and for once she met his eyes, pure emerald green, she had never seen his eyes this close before, always careful to keep them away most of the time but what she did see shocked her to the core. There were things swimming in the depths that looked akin to her own feelings, he wasn't happy. When she spoke her voice was soft and almost loving, but the words did not match it, they sounded out of place in her tone. "Ash I'm not okay, I shouldn't even be alive now, the mountain should have killed me, or that other wolf, there's no reason for me. I have nothing, I'm part of the reason Kamota is so fearful and so weak, I tortured and used him up the same way I've done every wolf I've ever met. This pack, everyone is so distant from me, and the only care I've found from them came when I was almost dead. Maybe being killed by a loner wouldn't be such a bad thing. I feel so unwanted" Her last words were barely more than a whisper and there it was, her lack of will to live, bared right there for him to see, she whined softly and lowered her head on her paws with a look of utter defeat. There was nothing she could do but listen to what he had to say as she felt herself sliding down into the pit in her heart, as if her very soul was struggling to live.

His eyes has locked with the silver ones of Namara and for a moment, his body almost tensed. Ash was not one to enjoy contact with other wolves much and having eye connection at the exact same moment made him somewhat uncomfortable. The brute had begun to get use to the life as alpha and always having members lower their gaze from his when he spoke to them or if he had just been in their presence and now it was as if she could see into him. For once, he was the one that broke eye contact, her broken voice greeting his ears quietly as she spoke. The way she was talking, it almost reminded him of himself in a way and the broken part of her…it reminded him of…he knew exactly who it reminded him of.

Twitching his ears he sighed, “Namara..you are wanted here, otherwise we would not have kept you around…you know this. For it would have been I that would have shoved you out.” His green eyes traveled back to her quickly, steely and warm, unlike all the other times that she had seen him, where he had been cold and stand offish. The voice once again returned, She can help… Bring Namara to her, she helped me, remember? This time, the voice inside of him crushed his pounding heart. He knew who the voice was, though in the beginning he had no doubt of who it had been. The dark male had been just trying to push the thought out of his mind, knowing that it was not possible. But it was her…it was Treena’s voice echoing inside his mind…he must have really been going insane. He complied with the voice’s wishes though, his mind focusing back on his pack mate.

Nodding his head to her, he spoke, “I want to take you to meet a family member of mine…her name is Nina Reinier, she is my sister, and I want you to meet her.” I think she can help you. his last words remained unspoken though, for Ash was sure that is he had said those words that she would have instantly declined. His mind kept focusing back on the voice, a qualm of doubt rising in the pit of his stomach. If he was truly going insane, it would not be safe for him to lead by Athena any longer, he knew this quite well. Though, his own self kept reassuring him, reminding him that so far the voice had only done things to guide him on the right path. Maybe everything would be okay…and Treena’s voice would help him somehow.

I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

Deep down Namara knew her leaders words to be true. Especially those of him running her off, he would be the one to do it. she thought about it for a moment, and something struck her. It was funny, for the first time on what was close to a year she began to laugh, at was soft at first, but it grew, it grew until she had to stop because it hurt. Yet once she finished laughing at it she looked up Ash again only this time noting his earlier discomfort studied his left ear."Yes Ash you would be the one to run me out of here wouldn't you? With all of your terrifying meanness that Kamota is so afraid of."

Namara had decided, Ash was not so big and bad and cold hearted. Merely she guessed he was doing his job as leader. Why Kamota was so terrified she did not know but there was no reason for it in her eyes. Still once she calmed down and gathered her thoughts, Why would he take me to see his sister? The big wolf shrugged the thought off and very briefly met his gaze for a short enough moment to say, "Okay, but you have to promise me we won't have to traverse any cliffs, I don't think I can handle another one for a while yet." She let her gaze avert and Namara's eyes began to regain the silver sparkle they once had, as in a few moments, Ash had lifted her spirits without even realizing it. She began to feel truly a part of Poison Path.

Her brown ears twitched slightly when her hysterical laughter granted his ears. Flickering them back slightly, they pricked once the high pitched screaming fit was through with, his unease slightly increasing. Upon her first words, his ears perked straight towards her, his face falling slightly. Of all things that she would bring up, she would bring up this one. Growling slightly, Ash snapped at her, “Well, perhaps if your brother did his job and did not make up excuses, then perhaps I would have been much kinder to him.” He huffed loudly, his large nostrils flaring as his mossy green eyes stared at her silently. Getting off of his ass and stretching, he shook the dirt of his pelt and waited for Namara to follow suit as he muttered a quiet, “Sorry.”

Her next question to him had him tilting his head slightly to the side an amused grin playing on his lips and his tail wagging behind him. “I make no promises,” he spoke clearly, before his lips fell back to their normal position. Smiling was a rare thing for the alpha to do and clearing his throat briefly, he nodded towards the female and led the way to their far away destination. Lifting his head to the sky, he howled to Athena, telling her where he was going and who was going with him. Another trip to his sister…even after his sisters. This was going to prove to be an interesting trip. Looking back towards Namara, he nodded towards her, “I will help you to the best of my abilities.” He then set off on their long ass journey.

I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

Namara almost lept back into anger until Ash said sorry, for the sudden rush in her blood that was gone so quickly she got a dull pain in her stomach. Just great I can't even get angry anymore without crying out like a pup. As he stood and shook out his pelt, Namara wondered what truly lie beneath the cold stare that he so carefully kept. She wondered what was inside this wolf where his heart lay and what had happened for him to be this way. No wolf could walk around in a bad mood all the time, if he had done that he would already be dead. No something else caused his strange mood. But just as before it was not her place to ask unless he volunteered it.

It was not so much a question of how they would get to their destination but when, grudgingly she mumbled a halfhearted "Thanks." to the male. It was not her way to accept help from anyone but every time she heard prey among the growth she had to sigh and walk away. She had tried several times to hunt, but her injuries would only let her get so far, before she would collapse for a few moments breathing heavily from pain. Sadly without the help of Ash she would never make it to Nina, she would die on the way. So with heavy paws she rose as one thought occurred to her, Ash knew not of her secret vow to Kamota. "Ash, when I am healed, I am going to train Kamota, I've seen his weakness. I help make him that way, and I shall make him as strong as me, I swore to myself I would make him better than me." She set her eyes down wondering if he would still show anger at Kamota. She would have to talk with her brother when she got back, to boost his confidence, to do whatever she could do to be useful while she was injured. She set off, limping still behind Ash as fast as she could go without hurting.