Willow Ridge just give me a reason

just give me a reason

Angier Lyall

just a little bit's enough

It all could have been music to his ears but for one reason or another, and surely it was the latter, Angier held back. Repect. Loyalty. Trust. His grin edged away and he remained in silence for a few seconds' time. It slowly dawned on him that even though he had been gone, away from her, even she was not reprieved of betrayal and faithlessness. He forcefully gulped down the saliva that had pooled at the back of his throat. A few months ago he could have been the one to make Elettra Archer feel the way she did now.

He brushed the tip of his tongue over his nose then gave a soft snort. He still did not look at her, recounting in his head the misdeeds he had carried out since his arrival to Relic Lore. "You... need me?" he questioned again. "How are you so certain, my Lady, that I will not betray you too?"

Angier shifted his weight from one elbow to the other, again turning to boldly gaze into her face. "I cannot control my wanderlust," he revealed. "Never have been able to." A hint of fear made itself apparent in his voice, his words becoming suppressed in tone. "If I lend myself to you, to serve among your ranks, how will I know that I can keep my promise, to do what my duty requires of me?"

"I might have changed my ways since I've last laid on you, but I might as well consider death before I see you suffer another loss on my behalf."

written in the scars of my heart

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He questions her again, though her tongue is stilled, now allowing her to confirm yet again the words that had been hard enough to speak in the first place. Perhaps it was not true that she needed him for surely, the pack would survive without Angier Lyall, she would survive. But she wanted him with her so much she had easily spoken of need, where much uncertainty had plagued her over the past few months. She just wanted her friend and wanted his promise met: to someday service her by joining her pack. Though as his smirk fell, so did hers, tightening into a hard line at his question of too, betraying her. But how so? Did he have any plans to break pack law, object her word, disappear?
"Do you doubt yourself so?" And why? Even when he had been part of another pack he had managed to come to her pack lands, offering kill and herb when he needed not. It was obvious he had skill in medic arts just as Elettra and with a skill required travel and search. Elettra slated her own wondering soul in order to do such a thing when the weather allowed for it and yet still she was able to fulfill her duty as it's Leader. So why could he not do the same? It was so simple, that Elettra was left to think he was now pulling excuses out of his ass in fear of something he had once willingly accepted: her leadership. "I'd not welcome anyone in my home who is uncertain if they wish to be here..." Obvious disappointment touches her tongue, refusing to look into his direction any further as she cast her attention over the willow forest. There was once a time he had begged for her security, the protection of her pack and to serve it without question. Now, he did so question. But if a wondering boy had always been in his bones, then was his former proposal nothing but lies, something to turn from now that it was finally being asked of him?

just give me a reason

Angier Lyall

just a little bit's enough

"Do you doubt yourself so?" she asked. "Yes," he grimaced. "But I'll admit I desire above all things to..." Oh, this was going to sound foolhardy. Maybe ridiculous at the very least. "Be yours." That was anything but smooth. He tilted his head to look at her again, wondering if she would believe him.

"I'd not welcome anyone in my home who is uncertain if they wish to be here..." He could almost taste and smell the chagrin and displeasure in her words. It was apparent in his sensitivity that she was utterly disappointed. "I loved you, you know," he disclosed. "I'm sorry I couldn't say it before." The secret felt weird lingering from his lips, lifting from his tongue.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again, feeling as if his soul had collapsed and burst within him. If he had been human, he would have cried, taken her hand in his and kissed it a thousand times in hopes of being granted her forgiveness. As he was but a wolf, he merely bowed his head, his ears ultimately folding back along his nape. "All these years I've lied to myself, I've lied to so many others... I can't take it anymore."

"If I'm going to sincere with myself... with you..." the digits in his forepaws tensed, his pads pressing stiffly against the snow and the grass beneath it, "then let me begin with that. That, and you've always been at the back of my mind since I met you. It scared me before, I've never known such a feeling as attachment until you." His chest ached; he tried to breathe as deeply as he could but found that he could not. He sucked in a few gulps of air, the anguish still evident on his face. It had taken months to get over Vlarindara but in her dearth and under Borden and Jaysysek's watch, his mind conditioned itself, unearthing old memories and pinning himself to all he had promised the Leader of Willow Ridge. In the chaotic mess that accurately described his life, Elettra, he found, was the only constant presence amidst it all.

"If it's my respect, my loyalty, my trust that you want... If you give me the chance, I will do everything within my power to stay with you."

written in the scars of my heart

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"All of the things that I've done
Terrible things...you would never believe
Things that I've done Oh how you'll run
If you knew a single one
All of the things that I've done"
- April Smith, Terrible Things

The words fall from his lips and in a sudden rush a wave of heat overcomes her, burning in the light snowfall. Her throat tightens, her jaw tightens. He admits yet still he wants more then anything to be hers. Similar words had fallen from Kiche's lips, though they were void of the similar emotion. An ownership to property befell the relationship of Elettra and Kiche. She was his judge and jury, his Leader is all manners and he, her follower. A servant at her heel, feeding the hunger or rage and torment swirling in her gut. He pleased her in secret manners no other would, could... And yet...
He loved her. Whether he had loved her in the past tense of which he had spoke it or whether he still loved her, the cursed four letter word blinded her, catching her breath. Though still standing before him, she shifts, turning slightly, her face still pointed out towards the forest as it had been. Though she could see the large male from the corner of her vision, she refused to fully look, silenced by all this as he continued. She had for too long called him an ally, forming into something of a friend with a future that he would be amongst her ranks as a trusted member. Her physical attraction towards him without a doubt had been recognized in their first meeting. After all, Elettra had always opened herself up to him at her boarders. Had sought to even seek him out herself in wonder of where he had gone. But love? She had long ago accepted herself incapable of the emotion any longer, far too lost in the abyss of towering walls and black holes.
But now Angier claims he had always felt something for her; some kind of drawing, an attachment, wondrous interest or sexual desire...love. She could grip her mind around all of it savor the last. She was lost for words. Her mind spun as she stumbled over things that she might say. "...If you give me the chance, I will do everything within my power to stay with you." She breaths in deep, her head turning suddenly to strike the liquid silver of her attention once more back to him and him alone. "Would you?" She firstly questions, as she was so certain that he could not. She had been disappointed far too many times. By now, she knew Ruiko's affections towards her but they had banged heads far too much that it would have never worked. Elettra had been utterly blind to Phineas feelings towards her to the point where it not drove him away from her home. She was hateful in her utter frightfulness at the idea of allowing herself to love the way she had first loved: unconditional, wild, blinded...Could Angier handle such a roller coaster ride? Could anyone? "If you truly want me, would you fight for me? ...Take me as I am, for all that I am?" She takes a breath, holding back the whine as it threatens to slip up her throat.
And then a nausea moved in her gut and the realism of the world clashed into the fairytale at a change of love that moved under the cover of the willow tree. She knew, despite all what he had said, despite what fell from his lips now, he, too, would leave her. "I'm pregnant." She could do now nothing more but wait to watch him go.

just give me a reason

Angier Lyall

just a little bit's enough

His tongue slithered forth over his teeth, dampening his lips and chilling it with its absence against the wintry air. He considered the fact that he had used a past tense in his sentiment, that he had loved her when he still did. A part of him had assumed that she had found another and settled down for good. Then, a question changed his thought pattern completely, "Would you?" He nodded without hesitation. If fighting for her was not enough to keep him to her side, then he might as well be cursed; but everything carried in her response made him awaken within with an instinctual need to prove himself.

"If you truly want me, would you fight for me? ...Take me as I am, for all that I am?" His mind raced to answer the question but he stopped in mid-thought. The old Angier, maybe even the Hollow wolf called Danton, would have regretted even suggesting that he would have done anything. He would have embraced every doubt he harbored and apologized for thinking that he could accomplish such a feat; as a second-born, Borden had always taken everything from him.

It was never more clearer now, however, as he continued to open up to bask in Elettra's aura that Borden was not here. Other members of his family - his parents, uncle, and younger siblings - were not here. It occurred to him finally that within Relic Lore he was able to stand as an individual if only he just gave up the skepticism and the belief that he would never become more than what he thought himself to be. He had to ask himself, Could I fight for Elettra? Yes, and I will. Could I take here for everything that was and is her? I've handled Borden. I've suffered Swift River's wrath. Who is to say I can't? And, lastly, Do I want her? ...Of course. The two words brought him back to the present.

Of course. Why else had his feet led him here, time and time again?

He caught her gaze, watching as her expression morphed and changed, and his brows rose in genuine concern. Elettra took a breath and he held his. "What's... What's wrong?" his tone seemed somewhat hurt and he attempted to search the depths of her eyes to find the answer.

"I'm pregnant."

His jaw lowered, confusion flickering momentarily across his mask-like features until he regained a hold of himself. The new Angier would not snivel at misfortune. He would not settle for things as they were. And, most importantly, he would not let his emotion get the best of him. His nostrils flared twice as he sampled her scent, it took more than a moment but he was able to pick up a note that seemed somewhat "off." It made his blood boil and a primal part of him terrifyingly jealous.

The emotion that came to harden his expression, if looked upon just briefly, seemed becoming. Otherwise, the way he wore the light scowl and the faint wrinkles edging up along the bridge of his muzzle, was something that seemed like it had come naturally to him. He stood up slowly, his sizable frame straightening to stand only a hair taller than hers. His pale gold eyes scoured her face once more, his nose and whiskers twitching. "You have all that I have to offer, Lady Elettra, what is it that you want me to do?"

written in the scars of my heart

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He nods quickly and with certainly, allowing no question to cross Elettra's mind in his decision. Though he was seemingly very much uncertain of himself, there was not uncertain that what he felt for her was real. Be in love, or be it devotion of being at her side as pack mate and friend. Elettra had a very pessimistic view that their 'love' relationship would fail before it ever started, much as it had been the path of any and all before him and yet, she cared for the male. She liked him as friend and as something that could be more and so, though her heart was shielded, her mind was open and ever curious of how he may wholeheartedly try.
Yet still, as he questioned what was wrong and she answered (for there would be no hiding it and it was best to know sooner then later for him) she was left to feel that his decision to do all that was in his power to stay with her would be drastically altered. Altered, just as it had been for Phineas, whom had thought to have done much to 'woo her' and yet quickly turned away when realization struck. Phineas had claimed to care for her just as deeply and he had left, why not Angier? Love, she believed was not only marred in pain and deceit, but was fickle all the same. At least, the love she knew.
His jaws dropped, his nostrils flared in an attempt to pick up the scent of where another had been weeks prior. Confusion crossed his features in a manner Elettra had seen before and for this, she did not blame them and would not blame any of the rest of her pack as they slowly began to find out what had happened. Elettra had laid with what had for the longest time been the dog of the pack, their untrusted lowest. But he was not that anymore. No longer the lowest as he had challenged his way up, now middle ground amongst the rest. Still Elettra found reason and purpose to her claim over him and would not regret the decision which had become of it. These pups would be great. They would be her own. They would be Archers.
He raises then, looking at her hard and holding his large body near to the natural height it was - above her. Her limbs tensed, grey toes pressing into the thin layer of snow under them. She stands her ground, noses inches from one another as she looked up to him, silver meeting gold. There is a moment of stillness in the land as she awaits him to turn away and when he does not, the shock upon her features could not possibly go without notice. He asks her what she wants him to do, still claiming he had all he had to offer her and it was all still there for the taking. She is silenced for a moment, obviously having not expecting this from the man and thus, severely caught off guard. When he said what he had said, he had meant it. She takes a deep breath, even a gulp, as her nose shifts downwards with the turning of her gaze. A submission not given easily, but a sign of her obvious vulnerability against something she had never encountered before. She could not master this with brains and physical strength as she could all else. "I want you to do as your soul tells you." For the mind would see only reason and the heart would be blinded from it. It was his very soul which mattered most.

just give me a reason

Angier Lyall

just a little bit's enough

As he grew more sure of himself, the expression on her face gave way to surprise, or mere shock. She turned away and he lifted his head enough as to actually look down upon her. His tail even rose in turn as if to test out his newfound assertiveness. "I want you to do as your soul tells you," she plainly said. He forced his breath through his nose, a simple sound and verification of his compliance.

Seizing the opportunity, he dared to reach out and lightly nudge his nose to the bottom of her chin, to lift it and bring her gaze back to him. It felt strange seeing Elettra draw back and turn her muzzle downward; that was something he should have been doing. It just was not like her... and Angier tried to correct it. "Then I will," his voice rumbled, a soft but sanguine smile on his face. "And I will make you mine." But first... His brows relaxed and the arrogant expression melted away. "Firstly, I belong to you..."

"If you want me to fight, I will fight," he whispered. "After all you've shown me, I will take nothing less. I've weathered many storms, I can 'andle an' bear whatever tempests you harbor. No other leader has been able to keep their grasp on me like you have; you shouldn't have t' turn away from me." He repeated the sentiment softly, "I'm yours."

Angier drew away from her finally, just far enough so that he could look at her and not have to focus his eyes on one of her pitch black attributes to another. In that instant a part of him wanted to take back all he had said at the beginning of their conversation, about how he had been afraid that he might betray and fail her as he had all the others - his parents, Alexander, Indru, and maybe even Borden (though he had made no formal promises to keep Grizzly Hollow functioning as a pack, only their family).

"Allow me show you what my soul desires."

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There is a sudden air of confidence in him, where he had admitted to holding so much self doubt and question. Perhaps this is what kept his emotion at bay. Perhaps this is why for so long her questions of his care and need of alliance to her had not been answered until now. Perhaps this is why Angier had not yet been the one to rise in power, as his brother did. There was a lack of confidence within him that needed to be upheld, to match what daring nature he held, his sly comments and half-cocked smirks. She allowed his test, though held herself still straight before him, savor the turning away of her muzzle. She trusted he would not mock this moment she offered him and was content to put him in his place if need be. But there was no ounce of need for correction on her part, for it was he whom corrected. A touch would lift her muzzle, to heightened it until the icy paleness of her gaze was dead upon him once more, as sharp and eerie in nature as it had always been.
He pledges that he will do as she asks and follow his soul's desire, a desire that happened to be of one day claiming her as his own - his lover, his wife, his mate. Something in her gut twists, another doubt of nausea coming over her that she is sure it is not from the brew which grows in her, but fear. A fear which stirs in her gut though dears not cross the features of her gaze, which is black, searching out his liquid gold attention as he continues on. 'I'm yours. He repeats it again. He would be her own, bend to her will be trying in his very hardest, to venture her further and know her. Fight through all the trails she had to give him, with a hope that one day she could offer him the same. She feels her own doubt then. Doubt not that she could be the great leader he wants her to be, but the woman he wants her to be.
Her questions to her own self are held silent, watching him as he steps back, looking her own. She does the same to him, looking over the man who confessed his desires of her, his desires towards her. There is a time to try, a time for trail and error and to learn from one another in a way she held no opportunity to do so with Phineas, with Ruiko, or any other she had shut down and them give no bother of chase. Perhaps Angier loved the challenge most of all. The conquest of the unattainable and what hells he would go through to gain it. She smirks then, ever so slightly. "Show me, then." She steps back further, her black nose twitching to the heavy scent of Grizzly Hollow upon him. Nothing yet could be done until his loyalty to his brother's pack was signed off for her own. Nothing yet of this encounter was set in stone. "...I'll be waiting for you return." A pause, as her body turns, moving away from him back to the heart of her home. "Do not disappoint me." He had promised her much this night, with the full moon as witness and she now expected much of Angier Lyall in wait of all he had to offer.

just give me a reason

Angier Lyall

just a little bit's enough

"Show me, then," she ordered him. Another growl was quick to answer her, a vibe of possessiveness rolled from his throat. He relaxed just slightly, nodding silently as she turned away, telling him that she would wait for him yet again. The three words that followed were nothing like or even similar to the ones he had anticipated or wanted to hear. It made him pine for her even more than before.

"I will not disappoint you, m'lady," he affirmed, his tone of voice hard and indicative that he was certain he would obey her. She began to leave and he shuddered involuntarily in the chill that came when she at last disappeared into the depths of her kingdom. His breath escaped him in another upward stream of moisture and he took in the stillness of the willow canopy all around him. She was gone and he had vowed to her all he could offer.

A part of him wanted to scream, to run away and never come back, but he had already set himself up for the opportunity, the grandest commitment, of a lifetime. He had been fortunate enough to bask in Elettra's glow; he had become even more enviable to have been granted a side of Elettra that possibly no one else in Relic Lore had ever seen. On top of that, he was expected to return. To her nonetheless...

Once able to regulate the terrible rhythm in his chest, he took a step forward then poked his nose through the sheer curtain before moving to edges his way through it. The clouds seemed to have understood how important such an occasion it was for Angier to be here. The first thing he noticed was how his stark his shadow had become and how lengthy it had become, stretching over the crystalline snow. He held his breath again as he tiptoed into the shadow of another willow, feeling vulnerable underneath the bright moonlight. He shook out his ragged coat and attempted to dampen his nose with the tip of his tongue. What had he done?

Angier forced himself to get a grip... This was what he wanted, right? Elettra. Her pack. Her protection. Her praise and the sound of her voice when she he, alone, was in her presence. Even Vlarindara had never been able to capture him in such a way. He sniffed. The Leader said that she would await his homecoming and that, in itself, was enough to make him set off running at a startling speed. The sooner he assessed his standing with the pack his brother had left behind, the sooner he would return to his lady's grace.

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