this may be our last goodbye,

@Anastasia

He had ever intention to prove his worth. A worth that extended to Anastasia and Anastasia alone. She was the very creature which bound him here, she was the power which she held over the masses, likely to insure his placement within the ranks was secure. His knowledge of her stepping down from Leadership had yet to be found and so, he trudges happily through the lands with a near sureness he could get away with everything, anything. Though this day he had willed himself to seek outside the skirts of his new 'home' and to find a meal. A meal that would be a gift to the woman which he held in high regards if only due to her value towards him. He would win her over, one way or another, be it in friendship, lust or love, all which would allow him to get away with things he would have otherwise not. Now with a child, a fawn, clutched so hard in his jaws he could feel the spine and windpipe crushed and scratch along his canines, he ventures towards the pack's den site with hopes of her presence. Today, he was all about playing the jaded, dark soul who had made the mistake of falling in love.

(This post was last modified: Aug 09, 2013, 05:55 PM by Beelzebub.)

<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;"> To Ana the change in leadership meant everything to her. It made her feel like she was just a screw up—believed that her past was true. That her, a very woman from the packs core, was unable to do any major job well. It must have been obvious to Shade that Anastasia was not leader material and apparently, she wasn’t even ‘mother’ material either. Of course he had not said these things straight to her face but Anastasia inferred it. Otherwise, why would Shade have launched himself into a relationship with a woman that wasn’t caring for his children? Ana had dropped everything to help yet she was being offered nothing in return except a pack. A pack that she could make on her own, given time. As usual her musings left her feeling alone and pretty worthless, she removed herself from the packland as far as she could within alarming others. An felt like Shade had meant to finagle her. To show her that she was unfit to lead beside him and that was why she was where she was—a second subordinate and a teacher. She liked being given a pack role but it was no comparison to being an Alpha. While her walking calmed her nerves she immediately sensed the presence of another, of Bee, had felt that she shouldn’t show herself. She struggled with the decision to walk the other way, avoid him completely so that he couldn’t see the absolutely failure written upon her face.

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He'd catch her, of course, the slithering little spy that he was. If anything, scouting was most certainly something of a pack role he could attend to. He worked to find out information on others, did not care to cross enemy lines in order to gain what he wished and most certainly did he hold a sneaky, quick witted and silvered tongue ability about him. When he smells the fresh aroma he turns to it, lifting his nose high and thus, allowing the blood of the fawn to echo up his muzzle, cheeks and neck line as he sniffs her out. He follows and soon, finds the ghostly woman throughout the thick of the dreary forestry of soft and mucky earth which they called home. Why such a place, he would never know. To her obvious retreat he makes an obvious whine. His sound echoing out where he could not speak with child in his grip. He pauses, awaiting her reaction in hopes that she might turn around and take notice of him. It does not dawn in the demon that she had already caught sight of him and had a means to avoid him entirely. After all, he was such a handsome devil, so why would she? He had not known her questioning of him, that she could not trust him due to the fact that one members amongst the many did not care for him. Had he known this, he would have likely packed his bags and called it a lost cause long ago.

<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;"> There was panic written on her face, not knowing whether to walk a different way or to confront him. She liked him, for some reason, and she had never felt in danger or otherwise uncomfortable in his presence so why would someone else? It almost made her burst into tears, feeling so torn between what she felt and what others saw that she didn’t, but she knew what was right. There had never been anything in Anastasia’s left that had shown her to care about what others thought about her. Not really, anyways. She was her own self and if others thought poorly of her then that was their deal. Bee had done nothing wrong before or after his acceptance, so why judge him? Putting her best foot forward she decided to engage in conversation with him, while he emitted a whine that told her he was near and saw her, and turned to greet him with a forced smile. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“Hey Bee,” she was able to at least say something that wasn’t hoarse or was follow after with hurt and anger. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“What brings you all the way out here?” The question was simple but only meant to distract her from what she really wanted to say. That she was an absolute failure, enough so that she couldn’t even hold a rank next to a man that had lost his mate just before she had arrived to take care of his children. If that wasn’t failure, then she didn’t know what was.

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The carcass of the child is settled before his paws, a lick to his blood stained maw given as he stares at her beyond bright, pale attention. A carnage of lust and deviousness in such a gaze, as an expression Anastasia had been offered since day one. A forced smile on her lips caused a quick in his expression, a single ear turning back as she calls out the nickname she had since given him: Bee. He hated it. It sickened him. For a name as 'Beelzebub', one of the many his Lord had been granted, to be slandered in such a way caused his lip to nearly quiver, but he holds back, tensing only and his eyes softening as cover, as though in worry of the woman before him. "For you..." His voice echoes out, breathing the words sweetly, or so he tried. Though he had every intention to show her that he had 'growing affections towards her', his secret disgust in this act of disguise (though it worked so perfectly not to do it!) could easily be played off as a rough, darker kind of man, torn with these new feelings he did not understand and was not sure he wanted to understand. Oh, did he play the jaded brute so very well... "Something is wrong." It was obvious enough and he was making it clear to her, eager to know the new information he would be fed. She was like a newspaper to him, an open book, and he would read the pages she left out for him greedily.

<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;"> There was no denying that she felt jiltED by Shade but she felt that it was also unfair for her to be so upset about it. Shade had supposedly found ‘love’ in this woman but it also happened to be a woman that she felt had something against her. Perhaps Spectre had found Anastasia’s leadership to be unsatisfactory and she had teamed up with Shade to take her down so that Ana wouldn’t be up there anymore. Cerulean eyes looked down upon the carcass that her friend laid out in front of her and while in other situations she would have felt the necessary pull to salivate, she couldn’t. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“Thank you,” she offered when he announced that it was for her. It certainly looked very delicious and would quench her hunger but it wasn’t what she wanted right now. Being so upset had taken her appetite away, so eating was the last thing on her mind. He then stated that something was wrong—was it that obvious? Anastasia gave a mid-shrug, finding that anything and everything she said was likely to sound worse than it was because it hurt so much. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“I stepped down from my position,” she stated uneasily and without making any sort of contact with his face or body, <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“Shade has placed Spectre in my position as they have come to find love between themselves.” It was certainly a very hard thing for her to process, especially when she felt like she had gone above and beyond to secure her spot and yet here she was. She might have been placed as a second but she felt like she was at the bottom of the food chain. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“I helped out a complete stranger to care for his children and this is the thanks I get,” she whispered almost inaudibly and somewhat surprised herself with how spiteful she was being. Normally she would have quickly uttered that she took the comment back but… did she want to? No. It was the truth and she didn’t keep secrets.

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He listens to her, hearing that she had stepped down from position because Shade, the leader he had yet to meet, had fallen in love with - oh, low and behold - Spectre, the very wolf which would rather have him spat out from these lands then to live amongst him on equal terms. His body remained tensed, a scowl forming over his lips at this as she finished. He was both angered by her by having 'stepped down' and that he had lost out on something important, mainly to a foolish child as Spectre. "Arrogant little shit!" The words growled from his tones in a huff, his left paw lifting to slash at the carcass and in this, tossing it to the side. He decided not to bother to curb his words. Perhaps Anastasia knew him enough to know he was not the kindest fellow on the planet. She would learn of a temper, of a hidden rage that likely stemmed from a bad childhood or acts of some tragic war. Ether way, it fit perfectly and after his outburst he finds himself striding into her direction. "You deserve better then this, Anastasia. You are better then this." His words fall low now, his head lowering at his approach, to befall lower then she hung herself now. The demon's throat trembled once more with a growl which gargled within his throat as he continued. "Had it not been for you, he would have not even been able to found this pack. You are it's founder, Ana..." Sweetly does her nickname roll from his tongue, coaxing her as though in attempt to redeem this situation and get her back into the position he needed her to be in. "....His motherless pups would have died." Even the demon, as treacherous, tricking, and thieving he might have been, could understand the lack of moral his so called Leader held in doing this.

i'm actually weirded out about anastasia's sudden ... anger. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;"> Every second that she had spent with Shade’s children had made her like him all the more. Seeing a man love his children unconditionally and would be so desperate to ask a stranger to save them was valiant. It showed that he was a strong individual that would do whatever it took to stay with them and protect them. Anastasia had even endured Adsila’s occasional attitude because she wasn’t Rosealia. She wasn’t the mother but what for? To be cast aside and replaced by another woman. Apparently Anastasia hadn’t been good enough for him and Spectre was now the children’s step mother and the packs Alphess. If Ana had chosen to fight, would she have won? Who knew. But what she did know was she felt torn down. Beelzebub’s outburst caused Anastasia’s body to shiver in surprise, finding that she didn’t really know who he was referring to. It was language that Anastasia rarely ever used and couldn’t even remember when she had ever used that sort of language. He then proceeded to get more angry, swinging his paw at the carcass and throwing it off to the side as if it was yesterday’s trash. Alright, guess he didn’t want her to eat that after all. Blinking she stood still and silent, not knowing what to say or do that might calm him down or otherwise subdue his emotions. It only took him a minute to seemingly gain some sort of calm stature, walking towards her with his head lowered as if she was still the Alpha. His confidence in her was appreciated and admired, but if she was better than this and deserved better than what was she to do? Anastasia’s breath felt hitched in her throat, grappling onto the sides and otherwise preventing her from finding the breath to form words or even thoughts for that matter. Ana agreed with him, knowing that she had been the determining factor of pulling the pack together—bringing up the female lead position so that he could form a safe environment for his children that she would be tending to. Weakly, she nodded. There still was no words that could form from the lump that had formed in her stomach and the loss of words. She knew that Beelzebub was right—if not for her, the pack would not have formed in the time that it had and his children would further be inching towards their last few breaths. Finally as if coming to a steady conclusion about the whole thing she realized what she felt aside from anger—betrayal. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“If he so felt betrayed by his mate who left him so quick, then he does not know betrayal at all. He has betrayed me and my purpose.” A match, lit behind her eyes but not quite a full fire, had begun. Shade was the betrayed and the betrayal and Anastasia could not and would not provide for a wolf that was as flaky as he.

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She nods ever so weakly in agreement and he finds himself moving still, face to face with the woman as he stood in front of her, his lips parted as a hot breath stirs the air between them. He does not speak more, not until Anastasia is ready to speak for herself. Her words on behalf of Shade's mate having abandoned him and thus, being betrayed, reflected in the same manner for which Anastasia was being betrayed now, or so this was how Beelzebub learned she was placing together. Yet still she hung herself lowly, defeated. There was a sadness in the woman where the demon which stood before her now craved anger. A need to cry to be washed away by a need to fight. And where was this newly loving pair now? He had not smelt ether of them for around a week's time. What Leaders were they, to abandon their pack and their children in order to, perhaps, have themselves a cute little hunny moon? "And should he be left again? Would he come crawling back to you in order to use once more?" The words were a coaxing whisper, made to stir within Anastasia's mind for questioning of how she felt towards the man she once stood side by side with, only to be tossed away at the newest tail that crossed his path. "What of the children? Had he not thought about what a third mother to those pups might reflect in them?" So many he was pulling some things out of his ass, but perhaps it would send that spark of flame in the white woman to burn higher. "They are gone now. I've not seen, heard, nor scented them recently.... No well thought Leading pair would leave the pack abandoned like this - leave their children abandoned. Have they not suffered these issues enough?" Had Shade and Spectre not thought that perhaps one of them should stay behind? That their children might be frightened that they, too, would not return? Horrible parenting at it's best.

<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;"> There were so many things to feel mad about that she didn’t even know where they came from. The man that she had come to know stood in front of her, building in her a confident anger that even she was baffled by. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“No,” she answered swiftly. He would not coming back to her to use her once more should Spectre turn to run. She would not be used as a replacement for a woman he longed for any more than she already had. Anastasia would not be used. This was solid and sound, she had been used before when she was much younger and she would not be treated like she was nothing but another wolf. Beelzebub continued to make valid points—the children now with a third mother, it would surely ruin them. Their leave had been taken note of; Shade had left first to go on a mission, this he remembered and Spectre had gone to hunt with him just after her stepping down. However, she had not heard news of Spectre leaving. No howl had been given to set someone else in the Alpha position until their return. Even then, she had looked after Adsila and Karpos once realizing that she had not seen hide nor hair of either. Anger spilled into her. They might not have been her children by blood but she sure as hell would not let some woman risk the lives of the children that she now had. It had not been until now that she realized the severity of the situation, building within her the choice words that she wished to tell Shade and Spectre should they return. Spectre would likely turn out to be an unfit mother because if Shade had been hurt or in danger, she too would likely be put in danger leaving Karpos and Adsila without parents at all. The anger continued to boil within her, a strange feeling that she had never quite possessed in her life but now she saw nothing but.

(This post was last modified: Aug 15, 2013, 05:10 PM by Anastasia.)

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