let the sky fall

sorry its a little later than anticipated, hard to find the motivation to post atm still x_x <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#004A80;"><b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;"> There was very little that he realized he could do at this point. Through everything he just wished that there was an easier way. All he felt now was that if he got close to anyone else in Magnolia glen that they, too, would leave him. First his mother than Eponine, he expected that if anyone were to leave him now it would be Lucero. It was a time where he needed her most, a time that his others loved ones had left in. So far, she was the only wolf that was consistently there for him. She looked after him, laughed with him, smiled at him and he felt completely comfortable with her. Even when they hadn’t seen or talked to each other for a little while, she was still there for him now even through that. Ataneq could only hope that she would be there for a while longer. The injury to his shoulder from the hunt was healing, it didn’t pain him as much as it had just after but there was some soreness accompanying it. The only thing that he did to help himself overcome the constant pain was to walk a little less than a mile each day so that his muscles didn’t get stiff and start to feel unused. Although he wished to begin his scouting duties and begin his training to further his abilities, strengthen his core to make long journeys he also realized that besides his injury, his age prevented him from acquiring a duty to his pack. It was a hindrance—his age. He wished he could acquire something officially now to keep himself active and moving, to take his mind off of things but he knew that @Borlla was right. He was still too young to take a role just yet. So his only choices were to make slow movement around the border, checking at every cache and keeping up on his daily routine. Secretly hoping that he would find Lucero out and about by the border but so far having no luck. If he didn’t find her now then he would look for her later.

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Life seemed to have fallen back into routine after the hunt. Though there was something troubling the Magnolia Glen leader. Borlla was concerned for Ataneq. She knew she should have acted sooner, before the hunt, but she felt her own mind a bit clouded lately, only allowing her to go about the motions of life. But after the hunt, she felt invigorated. While routine was still evident, it felt less like a haze and more meaningful. Her children were growing, their minds as well. She longed to teach them more, take them out into the world as far as their gangly legs could carry them. Borlla found herself wondering if Ataneq's mother had been so enthusiastic to draw her children out as she was right now. The woman had never seemed like the happy sort. Wandering towards the border, Borlla sighed, wondering how the mother could just leave her son behind. She hadn't said a word to her or Phineas, and from the way the dark yearling had been acting, Borlla got the feeling that she hadn't said anything to him either.

As the den faded behind her, she caught his scent, and her ears tipped back. They were in similar boats. Borlla had once found herself parentless, and even her stand-in father/brother, Indru, even Ruiko, had left her. And left her again and again and again, and eventually she was alone. But she'd left the sea behind now, so to speak, and stood on solid, dry, and fragrant ground. Maybe the boy just needed to see that his boat would find ground one day as well. His dark form came into view, and she barked a hello as she approached him, a smile on her face. She didn't desire to delve into such depressive tales if it didn't seem necessary, but she would help him, somehow she would. <b style="color:#32527a">

(This post was last modified: Sep 08, 2013, 01:01 AM by Borlla.)

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<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#004A80;"><b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;"> It was tough to go throughout each day realizing that you didn’t live with your mother anymore. It was half exciting but then there were parts of him that had realized he didn’t know what to do about it. All his life he had known how to function within her arms reach, to be independent and keep himself strong and healthy. However, he had never been prepared to feel abandonment. The sense of self had gone out the window, flying into the trees, the overcoming sense of pain being too apparent. Ataneq had built a strong shell on his body since his childhood and it had served him well until the one wolf he had never expected to break it, did just that. When it came to the Glen he could only feel that there might be hope if he stayed here. So far the only one he felt he loved endlessly was his friend, Lucero. The one who he had attached himself to on first meeting her and certainly still felt the attachment growing thick on his wall. It was almost as if his heart ached to be near her, for her to see to his health and happiness. She cared, which was the only thing Ataneq had ever wanted. Siku had taught him to build the shell but she had never taught him what to do when someone broke it down. Lucero was his kryptonite, someone he relied on tremendously. Bathing in the lap of luxurious soreness, he looked to his greeter and gave a somewhat warm smile quite unlike him. The life of Ataneq was a hard one but he was slowly learning to cope. Wolves would leave him, it would seem like a curse. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;">“I’m glad that my foolish attempt did not cost you the meal,” he said to her in point to the hunt that he had injured himself in.

i'm currently looking for any kind of short or long-term plots, so message me if you've got an idea!
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GUHHH i'm so sorry for making you wait this long.

She settled comfortably to her own haunches, glad to see him smile in return. Maybe she'd been worrying too much. Shaking the thought from her head, Borlla shook her head, giving him an almost scolding look. <b style="color:#32527a">"It could have happened to any of us. I'm sorry it had to happen to you, though." She wouldn't have wished injury on any of her packmates. <b style="color:#32527a">"And hey," The woman laughed, tail beating against the earth. <b style="color:#32527a">"You're still breathing right?" Her ears twisted back as she laughed lightly, treading carefully in case he didn't think it funny. But why not? What didn't kill you made you stronger. He was clearly still alive and well, and once his shoulder was better who knew?

Her chuckles faded, and her ears lifted again. <b style="color:#32527a">"I do hope you're feeling better though," Her voice was almost prying, though there was no question in the words, her tone lent itself to it. Watching him intently with bright orange eyes, she forced herself to relax, let things happen naturally. Not everyone always wanted help, and in all honesty, maybe she wasn't the greatest giver of it. She'd been a bully for the majority of her life so far. What did Borlla Tainn really know about helping others? Sure, she wasn't who she once was, but that didn't mean that she'd magically gained strange counseling abilities. The woman was best at going with the flow. So, perhaps, she would be going about this all wrong. <b style="color:#32527a">"We just want you to be happy here." She said after a moment, shrugging, coming out with it. It was hard not to notice how he'd been. And now she would just be blunt, like she'd always been. <b style="color:#32527a">

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no worries on wait, i've been super duper busy so rping has been on the back of my mind! <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#004A80;"><b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;"> Yes, he was definitely still breathing and it was quite the feeling. Being kicked that hard had certainly knocked it out of him temporarily but he was feeling much better now. It was a little sore every now and then but he could at least walk. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;">“I am happy,” he answered as best he could to the woman. It was an honest answer, he was happy but some things took its toll on him every now and then. Things happened and there was nothing he could do about it. With Siku, he had never explored much of feelings—being friends with anyone or having opinions of anyone aside from being strong or weak. However, since arriving here and his mother leaving him he had developed the strange bubbles of emotions more often. Particularly for one such wolf… <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;">“I put myself into the situation because I wanted to show off.” It did not scare him or feel as though he had put himself in the spotlight because he desperately wished to tell someone of what he was feeling just so that he could get another’s opinion. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;">“Borlla… I don’t really know what love feels like but I think I feel it.” There, he had said it. Admitted it. Done everything he could to express what he felt deep down inside of him and there was no taking it back. He needed advice or something, otherwise he felt like he was chasing his own tail. Running around in circles never getting any answers.

i'm currently looking for any kind of short or long-term plots, so message me if you've got an idea!
i.e. (friend/enemy/spar partner/pack recruiter, etc)

She smiled widely at him, glad to know that he was, in fact, happy. Perhaps it was just a struggle for some. She'd had the same problem once upon a time. No life was a bed of roses. Everyone had their trials, some just hid them better, she supposed. Rounded ivory ears perked up as he admitted he was showing off, only to flip back. That was...rather unfortunate. So the incident could have been prevented, not to mention whoever he may have been showing off for had gotten a less than wonderful experience. Her wide smile faded. She was mostly curious now, wondering if he'd merely been trying to show off for his pack mates, or if there was someone specific he had been trying to impress.

But the question answered itself rather quickly. Her ears lifted again, though she looked a little stunned. This was going in a direction she certainly hadn't expected and she wasn't even sure if she was qualified to talk about it. She'd said that phrase once, and she still wasn't sure if she really meant it. Not yet, anyway. The inward admission made the woman a bit ashamed, a lie spoken in the heat of a moment, exhaustion the only thing on her mind...Sliding back into reality, Borlla could only blink at the boy, trying to find the words with which to help him. What did affection feel like? Maybe not love, but something close? Something on the verge of love. <b style="color:#32527a">"I think it's kind of different for everyone," She pondered, knowing Phineas had admitted such a thing, and while she had exhaustedly reciprocated, it hadn't been totally a lie. There were butterflies, of course, but she'd spent a lifetime wearing her emotions on the outside, and for once in her life, she was terrified.

<b style="color:#32527a">"Whoever they are, you should let them know. Bottling that stuff up is never a great idea." The woman couldn't practice what she preached, and she felt a pang of guilt, but he was young and had been through a lot of ache lately. Maybe this grey cloud would have a silver lining. <b style="color:#32527a">

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<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#004A80;"><b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;"> It was difficult to express his feelings to another but he really had no choice other than to let it eat him up inside. Ataneq wished to express everything to everybody but he had a hard time even believing he felt something. Feelings had never been something he imagined having nor had it ever been a big deal, but he certainly didn’t wish to drive Lucero away with his thoughts… but he feared it would. It was likely that she only saw a friendship where he saw potential, but Borlla was right he assumed. Bottling it up likely would not do him any good and expressing it to her was probably the only way to really know what to do from there. Otherwise, he was just going to be a mess day in and day out. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;">“What if… I tell her and she rejects me? I could lose a friendship or make it, I don’t know, awkward or something.” That was probably the worst scenario for him was that a friendship remained but it felt strained, awkward and misplaced. He did not want to risk it but again, he felt it was necessary not to cower in the corner of his mind with feelings that would simply burn him up. Exhaling, he shrugged his shoulders as he contemplated his future actions further. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;">“I just don’t want to put a barrier between us if I tell her what I feel,” because running her off would likely end in him running away for sure.

i'm currently looking for any kind of short or long-term plots, so message me if you've got an idea!
i.e. (friend/enemy/spar partner/pack recruiter, etc)

<b style="color:#32527a">"Feelings are hard." She said with a smile and a shrug. <b style="color:#32527a">"There are two sides, you know. What if she likes you back?" Her brows rose curiously, almost wishing she had some inkling of who he was talking about. Maybe she was being a bit dense though, but based on the trouble he was having, maybe his feelings weren't so obvious as hers always had been. <b style="color:#32527a">"Whoever she is, I'm sure she's capable of being an adult. And as long as your confession isn't so elaborate, perhaps you could avoid the awkwardness?" Her ears perked up, as though she were dropping some kind of hint. So long as the boy didn't get ahead of himself in his confession, presumptuous, certainly nothing would be awkward? They could be two mature adults, right?

It was nice that he'd formed a friendship with whoever this girl was. She could only wonder if the female shared the ranks with them, or if he'd found love elsewhere. If it was the former, certainly the options were rather limited. And it almost seemed more likely... <b style="color:#32527a">"Like I said, feelings are hard, and in the end, it's all up to you. Maybe what you feel could pass. Will you still love her tomorrow? The day after that...Forever?" It was weighty, his proposition. There was puppy love, there always was, she knew that firsthand. But you eventually realize that the other party couldn't care less about you. But the boy seemed at an age where maybe it could be something, rather than a fleeting nothing. <b style="color:#32527a">

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<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#004A80;"><b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#144034;"> He understood that feelings were hard, otherwise figuring this all out would have been easy and over with by now. However, he was still contemplating his movements in their friendship and he certainly didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. Their friendship meant a lot to him so it would either make or break it, depending on which way the girl wished to turn—forward and back, it was all on Lucero. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#004A80;">“I’m probably worrying way too much over this…” and if Lucero were to see she’d probably shake her head and laugh at him for being so awkward and strange over something that could be figured out just by a single question. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#004A80;">“I think that I have loved her ever since I met her,” that day by the Creek when I had first arrived and stared at her from a distance before clumsily making myself known. It was then that he had found a true friend and one that he felt comfortable being around… he couldn’t imagine anyone else. He wanted to share his life with her, but would it upset her if he wanted it in a more serious way? Ataneq had never been much of a ‘in the now’ kind of guy but when he thought about her, he saw the present and the future and he always saw her. Only question was, did she see him? Were they enemies, friends, lovers, or just pack mates with no relationship at all? He didn’t want that—it was either friends, lovers or nothing he couldn’t take pretending not to know her.

i'm currently looking for any kind of short or long-term plots, so message me if you've got an idea!
i.e. (friend/enemy/spar partner/pack recruiter, etc)

She wanted to help him, she really did, but at the same time, it needed to be up to him. The pale woman didn't want to influence him in either direction, lest she might bear the brunt of it later. As selfish as it might've been. Borlla didn't want to be responsible for anyone's heartbreak. The conclusion he reached made her smile, and she shrugged lightly. <b style="color:#32527a">"Just shows that you care, that's all." Having an ego could help, but sometimes it could just get in the way. Her playful smile softened at his next words, <b style="color:#32527a">"Don't you think she deserves to know that?" Borlla offered, her own selfish curiosity cast to the side. The boy seemed smitten and Borlla almost felt jealous. This wolf, so much younger than she with all these feelings, and what did she ever have? A trail of broken promises and cruelty. But at the end of that trail sat Phineas.

Borlla swallowed, suddenly realizing that she'd drifted off for a moment, all expression gone from her face. But she could only look at him. The ball was in his court now. She'd said her piece and had gotten a bit of it too, even if Ataneq hadn't realized it. She shifted on her paws, no words left to offer him. With a careful step forward, the woman pressed her nose to the boy's cheek, and gave him a little smile. <b style="color:#32527a">"Whatever happens, we'll be here for you." With that, she turned and left the boy to his own thoughts. <b style="color:#32527a">

/Borlla exit

(This post was last modified: Dec 01, 2013, 05:22 PM by Borlla.)

Lurking until the end of July - Please PM/tag me to get my attention