You bear the scars, / You've done your time. / Listen to me.
You've been lonely, too long...
-- The Civil Wars - "Dust to Dust"
January 9th; Early morning, hours before dawn; Partly Cloudy; 12° F/-11° C
Taima Lyall had had enough. In the days since she had talked to Naira, she had wholly convinced herself that she was no longer the young woman she had always pictured herself to be. In all truth, she was the exact opposite. When she had once defied her leaders (a long time ago they had been her parents, Borden and Jaysyek) and her superiors, she now kept her head down and her tongue pressed to the roof of her mouth. It had been several months since she had truly smiled, actually wagged her tail, let alone laughed a genuine laugh. She had grown up much too fast, and gone were the days when she, Ryvet, Renier, and Calla played together in the heart of the Cedarwood woodlands.
In a numb state of mind, she allowed her feet to shuffle wherever they itched to take her. One paw in front of the other and from one step to the next, she slowly and painstakingly made her own path in the chest-deep snow leading towards the Bramble Falls nestled in the side of the Mountain of Dire. No matter how hard she had tried - and it had been seasons now since she had really tried - her heart continually felt as though it would never leave her throat. For the past week, in the long and lonely hours of the evening and night, she quietly sobbed to herself, nonexistent tears continually pouring from the corners of her eyes as she prayed for home... prayed for her siblings, for Kade, for Aniu, for Angier, her mother, her father... but most of all her father. Borden, the man who had always been able to bring her back home, no matter how far she had wandered, no matter how long it had taken for him to get her to give in to his orders to follow him back to familiar ground.
Where was he now? Had he even tried to look for her? Or did he stay within the confines of his kingdom, too afraid for history to repeat itself, just like how when her eldest brother Prosper had unexpectedly died. No... In mid-step she frowned to herself when she briefly regained her bearings at the sight of the frozen falls. Borden had loved her too much to let her go... He had to have been looking for her still... Right? Right?
She swallowed hard, failing to keep the biting wind from coaxing true tears from her eyes in their failed attempt to keep them glossed over. Though her winter pelt, the second coat she had ever grown in her life, had come in lush and thick, the stress from recent travel and the dull hunger pangs in her stomach had caused it to shed in a number of places - namely her elbows, her sides (from the days when she spent most of her time curled up somewhere at the base of a tree), and other places where her fur had once been matted from neglect and a lack of close acquaintances to help groom her.
At the edge of an iced over pool at the base of the barely flowing cascade, Taima brought herself onto the glassy surface, much too tired to carry on for the day. In the darkness of night she had easily lost track of the time and, as she stood, could only guess that she had traveled a day or two away from the third home she had ever known. At this point, she could no longer remember when she last saw either Naira or Mapplethorpe or any of the ragtag nomads they had considered their subordinates and charges. Her paws visibly shook as she backed away from the water's edge, walking carefully to one of the Wildwood's burnt trees and pressing herself against it before laying down. She inhaled deeply and folded her paws so that she could rest her head and neck over them. If she was lucky (and she so desperately hoped that she would be tonight), no one from Hollowheart Keep would come looking for her...
With a quiet sigh, she listened to the wind and the creaking of the frostbitten trees, pining for the scent of cedars and the warmth of the bear den her parents had made their home.