Heiress Loch with all my hopes wearing thin

For Jessie.

Random Event (Winter Solstice): The strongest trees are rooted in the dark places of the earth. Darkness will be your cloak, your shield, your mother's milk. Darkness will make you strong... The trees and forests of Relic Lore provide decent protection from the winds but still allow the snows to filter through and chill it to its roots. When the sun sets and the frost makes the trees creak, what unimaginable dangers have come under the cloak of night?

December 20th; Nightfall; Light snow; -6° F/-21° C

Everywhere the comings and goings of the winter storms brought inches upon inches of snow. In places where the spaces between the trees were vast and wide, snowbanks rose up where there had once been mud depressions and patches of bright, colored flowers. If Fenru had not been looking properly he would have stepped right over where the snow smoothly transitioned into the frozen ice sheet that was now Heiress Loch. Standing where there would have normally been the sandy shoreline, he stared down at the outline of his silhouette. His ears lowered, since he had last talked to Triell and Arlette, he had tried time and time again to reason with himself... that his desires to be some sort of silent sentinel - like his Uncle Marsh - were still natural within certain parameters.

While he constantly made sure to keep up with the whereabouts of his younger half-brothers, he made sure to stay well away from them. Though he was certain that he had gotten better at asserting himself and accepting that he was no longer the little boy who used to cower behind Corinna's tail, he was of an opinion that believed that he was not the greatest influence when Serach and Sceral were nearing their adolescent months. A large paw reached out to touch the glass-like surface, wishing it had been another being, reaching out their own paw to meet his. He wondered how Kisla was holding up... if memories of their first and second winters would resurface from the folds of her memories.

He thought of Rihael and the groundhog they had accidentally caught to drop beside their sleeping agemate, of Aiyana trudging through the snow without Rissa at her flank, of the trek he and Ice and @Jessie had to take to hopes of finding his baby sister... His agitated heart sent a lump up to his throat and he slowly brought himself to stand on the chilled surface of the loch. Once his muscles had tensed, his large frame stilled as he gazed up into the starless night, just like he had the previous nights before. Hope, he knew by now, was for the foolish. Hope was what had driven Indru away, twice. It was what led him to Rissa's crumpled body and had possibly drawn Ice into the wilderness with Merlin.

Hope would not send him into the clouds only to send him crashing back down to earth; it would not curse the woods Corinna and Triell now claimed. Most importantly, it would not take away what little family he had left. No, now he could only think of having a commotion-less winter when the wolves of Oak Tree Bend would lie quietly in wait for the return of Spring.

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Cali had not yet returned to them and in her wake, neither had Ice nor Merlin. The dull ache in her chest remained as she looked over the lands, a shadow hanging over her. Kisla had also disappeared, an accident that seemed to have to do with the snow that heavily covered the mountains. Jessie wished that she could have gone with Kisla, perhaps then she would at least have someone on the other side with her. The Huntress hoped that the Tainn had enough sense of the area to easily make due…if she were still alive. The woman held tightly onto the hope that she was, because Jessie was unsure if she could stand another one of her family members falling away from them. It brought up thoughts of Rissa into her mind and the horrid sight that she had come to alone…without Ice or Fenru at her side. She had become careless at the time and hadn’t realized that while she had been tracking, both of her companions had fallen behind. Trying to shake off her thoughts of the fallen princess, Jessie rose from her seated position and walked around the edges of Oak Tree Bend territory, her emerald eyes scanning the area attentively.

For the past several weeks, Jessie had not been plagued by the countless numbers of loners that had wanted to gain entry into their pack and had no knowledge of meeting anyone new within their ranks. With a soft sigh, she watched her breath make a small white cloud in front of her, a small giggle coming forth from her lips. Padding along Oak Tree Bend’s territory, she came to a stop at their south border, her nose twitching as she lowered her muzzle towards the earth, the familiar scent of Fenru headed outwards overwhelmed her senses and a light grin spread across her features. She hadn’t seen much of the boy since their little hunting session and she wouldn’t mind seeing more of her friend. Focusing on his scent alone, the loyal woman stepped over the marked borders, her body moving with her nose. Jessie definitely wasn’t the worst tracker in the world and she had enough faith in herself to know that she would be able to find Fenru even if she didn’t try. His scent was fresh enough to do so…unlike when she had only gotten fragments of Rissa’s scent every here and there and had to really concentrate in order to find her…and unfortunately, eventually she had.

It was when Jessie came upon a land that she was highly unfamiliar with that she became slightly unsure of herself, but plowed ahead anyway, continuing to follow her friend’s scent, which was steadily becoming stronger. Why would he have any reason to come all the way out here? There was no need to do that…unless he was trying to get away from something. Jessie had done something similar once or twice, but she had instead fled to the mountains, a place where she could climb and feel the welcomed ache in her muscles. It always helped clear her head and maybe this…this could have been where her friend liked to sneak off to. Eventually, she found him, leaning into what seemed to be his reflection in the ice. Not daring to say that he looked upset, she silently made her way over to him, unsure if he heard her approach or not. Striding up to his side, she stood a seat next time him, looking at her much smaller reflection in the frozen water. Fenru was huge compared to her, and their reflections were only illusions. Turning her head towards him and craning it upwards so that she could get a better glance at him, she spoke calmly, "Is there something bothering you, Fen?" Her tail flicked behind her slightly do give some part of her body free reign to move around as she spoke to the other Tainn.

"Is there something bothering you, Fen?" her voice, so familiar and curious, came to him as if she were beckoning him in from the rain and mist. All the noise, the senseless chattering in his head against the pitter-patter sound of his heartbeat in his eardrums, had rendered Jessie's call muffled and smothered. His lip twitched and quivered, but after a few mere seconds he turned to look at her. He could feel now the tips of her fur brushing up against his, the comfort that radiated from her as she sat by his side. His brows and eye spots came up in the darkness and his ears came down. Very much like the shy cub he had been in the past, he tipped his muzzle slightly downward and shook his head.

Liar, his conscience spat.

Fenru closed his eyes tight and pressed his tongue against the clenched teeth behind his sealed lips. The woman might have been nearly a year older than he was but he had always regarded her as an older sister, even a "second-mother," in regards to what they had both experienced together in the past. It really wouldn't have been fair to not let her into the heart he had so vigilantly guarded and held within a titanium cage under lock and key. When he came to look openly at her again he had expected his voice to be strained or choked, immature to some degree, but what came out instead was unsettling in his ears. It was too monotone, too dull, too old... "I miss them."

The simple statement and the deepness of his voice reminded him that he had come quite a way since he had last tried to grieve. Perhaps is just wasn't worth it anymore; the past was the past and, obviously, there was little else Fenru could do when it came to those who had left the sanctuary that had served as home to the pack members he loved. It was only now that Fenru had decided that no amount of hope, duty, trust, could possibly bring any of them home... with the exception of one particular individual.

"Where is Kisla?" he whimpered, staring at her silvery face in the dark. He fought hard to keep himself from sniffling and allowing an ugly grimace to tug at his masked face. Bad things happened when siblings split up, he had come to realize, and the young Tainn was not about ready to find out what could be in store if he opted to act out on his only sister's disappearance. He had seen what had happened to his young brother and sisters, grown up knowing what had happened between the siblings Ruiko, Indru, Borlla, and Triell... Rihael had been the first of his litter, but after so long since his disappearance, Fenru knew it really had to be only a matter of time before he and his sister were separated.

"I can't remember when I last saw her..."

(This post was last modified: Jan 02, 2014, 08:58 PM by Fenru.)

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As she sat next to him, with her smaller form, it was easier for her to make out his shake of his head, and Jessie had to sigh softly. After all they had been though, it still surprised her sometimes how he could keep himself bottled up from her. None the less, she remained silent and leaned forward to put her feather-light touch on his shoulder. It was completely out of comfort that she reached out to him and not out of pity. She hoped he realized this, because even she did not like the pity of others, not even her parents. When his words then came to her, Jess moved her head so that she could see his face better. She had an inkling as to who he was talking about, but so many had disappeared, that sometimes it was hard for her to determine who exactly who he was speaking of. His next question caught her off guard and made her shift uncomfortably to the other side, slightly away from him. Had they truly not told him what she and Arlette had discovered. It might have been for good reasoning, but the gray woman was not going to sit here and lie to her friend who was asking him an honest question. Butting her muzzle gently against his shoulder, she spoke in soft, low tones, "She is...hopefully, on the other side of the mountain, which is blocked at the moment."

Out of all the wolves within the pack she had to be the barer of bad news, which she always hated to do anyway. Since she had first entered the lore, it seemed that telling others horrid news was the only thing that she could do since she had once entered. The only reason she had come in the first place was to come and tell her sister of the passing of their parents. Trying to find some other day to express herself and to comfort Fenru, she grasped at words in her mind, ones that would never come to her. She had never been good with words and was told she was always too brash. With no words to come from her, Jessie lay her light head against Fenru's shoulder, giving him her presence and her strength, of which he might need.

Jessie supplied him with a reasonable answer as to why he had not seen his sister for some time and Fenru could barely do anything apart from pursing his lips and blinking his glossed-over eyes. He knew that the snow never lasted for more than half the year but the fact alone was not enough to ease his worries over his only remaining sister. His age mate. He clenched his jaw, grounding his teeth together until Jessie nestled her head against his shoulder. It made him slump forward, bow his head and close his eyes with a singular, miserable whimper.

If Fenru knew Kisla, she always had her smarts about her. She knew where she stood in the world and all of its workings. In fact, of their litter, Kisla had always been more level-headed than Fenru and Rihael combined. Fenru knew he shouldn't have had a reason to worry about her, but as her brother he couldn't help it. Not after all the things that had happened to the siblings he knew...

In defeat, he angled his head to lightly nestle it against Jessie's crown. When he opened his eyes again, he stared out to the frozen reaches of the loch, sniffling once. "We'll see her again, right?" he asked, as if Jessie herself knew the answer. "If she's just on the other side of the mountain, she's just... right there... waiting for the snow to melt... and she'll come home, right?" It might have been cub-like of him to ask such a thing, but there was only so much yearning he could manage. Coupled with Fenru's sense of prolonged grief for the rest of the family he sorely missed, he was merely reduced into a vessel for his self-wrought pain and anguish.

"And what of Ice?" he whispered. "Of Merlin? Rihael, Torrel, and Aiyana? Cali... Kenai and Kinis? What about them? They'd come back home, wouldn't they?"

Water is beginning to freeze and some fish are trapped. Hunt Opportunity

I am sooooo sorry! <3

She did what she always did: listen, but even now that never seemed good enough, especially when the two of them sat in silence. She nudged her head further into his shoulder when she felt him lower his head to hers. She honestly did not know what she was doing there anymore, she felt so lost all the time, like she was suppose to have someone else to guide her. Her sister was gone, her best friend, Hotei....even her dearest Ice, whom she had held dear to her since she had joined. He had helped her through everything when he had been there and now he was just gone. When he finally spoke, Jessie was at a loss for words, not fulling knowing how to respond to his words. In the end, she resulted to a simple, "I hope so."

They fell into silence again, but it wasn't long until her dear friend spoke up again and Jessie had to hold herself back from whimpering. It was true, all these wolves had gone missing, even the ones that she did not know. Jessie still felt the pain of losing them and she wished that most of them would come back. She couldn't go to say the same thing for her sister, she had been gone for too long and it was too much like the first time she had been left behind. Jessie wasn't going to let herself mourn her sister any longer. Before she could stop it, a low moan escaped her throat, making her sound like she was in dire pain. "Icccceeee...Fen, I miss him so much..." Though Jessie had never really valued Ice romantically, he had still been a friend that Jessie had desperately clung onto at all times, and now she just felt like she was going to fall over the edge. Turning her face into the blindness of Fenru's shoulder, she whispered to him softly, "I feel like our family has suffered more than it should...more than anyone else has suffered before. It's not fair."

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