over our heads

@Triell

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Recent events had brought a conundrum to Nayeli's life. At first she had tried her best to ignore the instincts the changing of the season brought on. This wasn't her first spring, after all. However, she could not always control where her thoughts wandered. And more often than not, especially in the last few days, they had been wandering to dwell on Triell. A man whose orders she had followed without hesitation, and yet, she was confused and hesitant about these new feelings. She wasn't sure what to make of it all.

In truth, Nayeli felt almost foolish for even having - what was it, a crush? It was unlike her to become so easily infatuated, no doubt the season was to blame. At the very least, it clouded her thoughts. Triell had offered her a place in this pack, and for for the first time she thought she might be able to actually stick in one place, instead of wandering off to look for what she'd once lost. The Tainn man had always been kind and chivalrous toward her, and so far he had been a leader worthy of respect in her eyes... perhaps even someone she could call a real friend. She didn't want to risk that on a whim.

And so she prowled from the territory like a shadow, telling herself she would go hunting further afield today. In truth, it was an excuse to get away from the seasonally driven pack dynamics for a while, and clear her head. Only, her thoughts kept wandering to a certain dark wolf... this was not at all what she had signed up for. Or was it? She thought back to the day she'd first met him. Even then she'd recognized a spark in that burning gaze. It was what had made her decide to join his pack - a rather swiftly made decision, compared to her usual track record.

The normally cool and collected woman let a soft growl escape her jaws in frustration, mostly with herself. There was no one here but the silent trees, and perhaps an errant bird, to hear, right? Halting her steps, she forced herself to stop and breathe. The trees here felt slightly less oppressive today - she could see the first signs of new life just beginning to emerge. Overhead, the sky was clear and blue, wan sunlight warming her ebony coat as it spilled through the trees. At least she could take some of the things spring brought at face value, as welcome sights after such a long and cruel winter. Breathing in and then out, she tried to let the tension roll off of herself.

"Speech,"

I will always belong in the service of a Queen

Spring, the strange changes it brought. He usually did his best to avoid what it meant. More so after last season when his instincts felt like they over ruled him, and he had let go of what ifs in a single moment. The world then had been grey and bleak after burying Marsh. It had yet to seem bright again after another burial. He wasn't sure what it all meant. He was in a place where most would be planning the future. Hoping to ensure the family, the pack grew. The dark wolf had always thought Ice would return, Corinna would lead them into another year, Sceral and Serach would have siblings. There he would be merely watching over the next generation. Now...

It was then he wondered if Ruiko and Aeylen may have another litter, or if still they would follow him. He had no official mate, not even someone to take the role beside him for the pack. Would it only be a matter of time? It had been his fear all along, to be alone in this manner. Especially now when there was nothing to prevent him from having his own cubs. Knowing Ruiko he was sure his brother would have long challenged him if that was the case. A worn frown, alone he kept debating what was the right thing to do.

All through his patrol the motions of his stride were sluggish. He sniffed here and there along the outskirts of home. So many things should be different, could have been. This was how it was. There was only one he was drawn to, only one he thought could be something more. His heart was hesitant from its own losses. He wasn't sure if he saw something more, or only wanted to. Especially, with all that had happened, and the changes in the air. When the Stormwright's trail began to weave away from the lands, he followed at a brisk pace. Was something wrong?

Triangle ears raised upon his crown he could not hear any paw steps. Fiery eyes searched along the brown bark of the trees, but he did not see any darkness but their horizontal shadows. Maybe, he was a lot further behind than he thought. Had he caught her scent at all? Biting back urge to call her name, he continued to let her invisible path lead him to her. It didn't seem she was going any certain way, at least in his mind. What was she doing? A quiet fear followed him. Was she leaving because the snows wouldn't hold her here? The sunshine upon her ink pitched coat caught in his sight,and he released the breath he hadn't known he had been holding. "Nayeli?" The hushed question rose from his throat, while his paws cautiously pulled him closer. Without a doubt it was her, he found himself still slightly afraid why she was out here. He forced himself to halt before he reached her in case being beside her now would make her uncomfortable. "You all right?"

Triell's voice shattered her moment of contemplation. His arrival surprised her, she'd been so lost in her own thoughts. Turning to face him, she tried to hide the inner turmoil and questions from her features. Despite the confusion she felt, despite the stubborn part of herself, she was glad to see him. Her tail swayed low in gentle greeting as he stepped nearer, coming to a halt a short distance away.

"Triell," she faltered, "I'm fine," the answer came with a listless shrug, the lady not bothering to try and pretend that life was all roses. But neither did she let her uncertainties overwhelm her. She was still a little taken aback by his arrival - she'd purposefully wandered toward nowhere specific - the middle of it, really, hoping some space might help her clear her head, and perhaps afford her the chance to find some sign of prey others had not stumbled upon yet. Had he followed her here? The thought sparked in her mind, and she wondered what he might have thought when she had strayed from the territory. When Nayeli had first met him and joined the pack, she had told him of her ongoing search, and he had told her not to give up... might he think she had decided to leave the pack as soon as the weather would permit, and without a word to him, or anyone? She hoped not. "I needed a little quiet, so I came out here to hunt... and to think" she offered. Nayeli had no intentions of leaving the Bend for good anytime soon... if that thought had occurred to him, she wanted to lay it to rest swiftly. Beyond that... his presence here only perplexed her more, but as she looked for his gaze she felt a small smile creeping to her jaws again. For whatever reason, even though he was the crux of her problem, she wasn't sorry to see him, even on a day when she had set out to find solitude.

(This post was last modified: Mar 24, 2014, 08:33 PM by Nayeli.)

I will always belong in the service of a Queen

Happy to see her, his dark banner beat twice in turn. "That's good," he quickly blurted. Large, black ears brushed back, the way his name came out he realized he sorta had snuck up on her. Here she was trying to steal a quiet moment for herself. Usually, he came with a sort of warning, but he hadn't thought when he found her, he just reacted to seeing her. It had been in a slight panic. Instantly, he felt sheepish. When did freak out, like an overbearing mother? She could leave the Bend without it meaning forever. It was just... this was what happened when he ran on too little sleep, and too many thoughts. His mind felt the need to overact, instead of functioning on its normal, proper setting. When he felt like walking up to her it was possibly a result of that, and yet a want to be closer.

Seeing a faint smile, he couldn't hold back. Cutting away trepidation, five more steps he stood across from her. He meant to smile, but a lip twitch was as far as he got. The Tainn felt like he needed to explain himself, and he wasn't one to play games, read minds. He tried to say what he meant, and mean what he said. It seemed even more ridiculous to pretend he had been following her for any other reason but the truth. Not that he could think of anything better.

"Sorry, I was just.." The dark man swallowed, but made a point to try and hold her silver eyes. He met them, but the caused the familiar twist in his chest. It was now or never. "I was afraid you were leaving too." There it was in the open, with the vulnerability he couldn't mask. Did he look like that lost boy that had been saved from the forest fire? A world slowly crumbling from down around him, and he was trying to hold it together.

"I wouldn't leave...." she had meant to keep going, to say "I wouldn't leave without telling you first," but her breath caught in her chest. For quite some Nayeli he had been deliberating about if, or when, she should depart and continue her search for her kin. Now that the winter was finally beginning to show signs of giving way to spring, the question had been pressing more and more on her mind. Especially since the day Triell had made it clear he considered her debts repaid. It brewed along with others.... but even as she spoke, she realized that she couldn't see herself leaving the Bend. Of course she still wanted to know the fate of her kin, wanted to see them again, but even if she did, all she truly wanted now was closure. At some point long ago Nayeli had realized how tired she was of searching, of being alone, but a mixture of guilt and stubborn loyalty had kept her going... coming to this place called relic lore had been a sort of hopeless, last-ditch effort. The search for what she'd lost had brought her here, but she had found something else entirely.

Holding that burning gaze for so long made her feel... afraid? safe? She saw honesty there now, and decided to be honest in return. Her plume wagged nervously as she began to speak, and she fought out and lost against the urge to avert her gaze once more, silver eyes seeking coherent thought among the trees. "I think I could feel at home here. I think I could feel..." Her words betrayed her then, maybe because she still didn't have a word to label her confusion. But she felt the need to explain her behavior towards him of late, if nothing else. She was normally so vigilant over her feelings, her actions, but she knew that her confusion must have shown through by now. She owed him an explanation, if nothing else. He had snuck into her heart when she wasn't looking. And more than anything, he was what tied her here. And so, she looked up to find his fiery eyes again, moving forward to close the remaining distance between them. Tentatively she grazed her muzzle against his cheek, hoping he might understand what she could not put into words. She hoped, too, that he wouldn't be vexed at the sign of affection.

I will always belong in the service of a Queen

The quick response did nothing to ease his fears. The sentence hung in the air unfinished. Ears were perched forward, straining for the rest, but it didn't come right away. He was thinking he should have chosen to say it differently, or something else entirely. Had he sounded like he was accusing her? He didn't think so. Her reply made him feel she had taken his words in way he had not meant. Already he could feel the disaster he had started. She shouldn't feel guilty if she was, and he shouldn't be upset. When he had lead her back to the oak tree forest, he had let her know right then he understood if her stay wouldn't be permanent. It was understandable why she might part ways. What was she going to say?

The Tainn had to keep a tight closure on his jaws so the question didn't spill out. The longer he held her pale stare, the more maddening it felt hanging onto the moment, being so close, and yet separated by silence and space. The flick of her tail made him anxiously blink, and further clamp his shut mouth. Even with her eyes breaking from his, he was certain his heart was just jumping further up his throat to choke him. The sound of her light voice, the draw of her sight back to his ignited something of hope. Black face was contorted by hesitation, not quite daring to believe what she was attempting to tell him. The dark lady broke the gap he had kept, and the brush along his face suddenly swept aside all doubts. Triell did not falter to nuzzle her crown in turn, lingering to steal her scent, to keep her close to him. "You mean I can keep you?" He murmured, a tease indicated in his deep tone while he pulled back, a crooked smile on his face.

Maybe she was seeing something where there was nothing. Could this be a misunderstanding? Worry continued to creep in, like drops of water slowly dooming a sinking ship. She couldn't erase what she had just done, only hope it had not been a mistake.

The gentle warmth of Triell's touch set that doubt aside. She took in his scent close-up, noticing all the notes she hadn't before. Being so close to him made the warmth burn deeper, down to her core. As he drew back to offer her a wry smile, Nayeli couldn't help but return the expression. Her smile flickered on her features as if it had a life of its own. Still feeling a sort of electric thrill at her own brashness, she answered his question with one of her own. "Is that what you want?" She still had a lot of uncertainties in the back of her mind, but they didn't seem so pressing, just now. She felt relief, happiness, a new kind of nervousness.

Struggling to keep her thoughts from leaping in all directions at once, she continued. "When I met you, I thought that I would only want to seek temporary refuge here," she sought to explain everything that had been weighing upon her thoughts lately. "But I realized that this place could be something more for me, that I could live again here, if I let myself." Nayeli sought breath between the words, before forging on. "A new life was something I had been denying myself for a long time. Something I didn't realize until I came here, and met you, Triell." she trailed off again, edging closer to him once more. Closer to the fire.

I will always belong in the service of a Queen

The question had serious meaning, and his fiery eyes sought her metallic, then down her dark face, searching. He did not need to look far to see what he was looking for, the lively smile she returned. It wasn't the first time he had looked, but he knew now he would never grow tired of being the cause. The question she asked he did not first answer, but touched his cold nose to hers to help prove his next words. "Yes, but only if you'll have me?"

Watching her closely, his face became unreadable as he listened. What she was to say he needed to hear, needed for his own assurance that she really wanted to stay with him. But not only want, that she could stay with him, even though her family may still be out there. If she was always thinking of them, guilty and worried it simply wouldn't work. Triell would hate to see her live that way. By the sounds of it, she had only been surviving after being separated. Now she realized she needed to let herself continue with her life instead of putting it on hold. The world never ceased to stop turning for those seeking or lost, a hard lesson he had learned. It struck him how he had brought on these thoughts; he was the reason she wouldn't leave. What more certainty did he need? He had never been that reason for anyone, despite how he had believed.

Pleasantly, he accepted her closer to him, feeling more secure by her warmth and touch. No, he wasn't going to think what if this or that. He was going to take what life was offering him, and hold onto it for however long he could. Life changed in an instant, he knew too well.

"I didn't know how afraid I was of losing you until I followed you, thinking you might already be gone." He offered quietly, wanting to explain his own behavior. The panic was no longer evident, but it had not entirely left him. The only thing that placated him was having her near, where she was real. "I didn't think I could be enough to keep you, to make you want to stay. Give you a home and family here to make you happy."

(This post was last modified: Mar 28, 2014, 03:05 AM by Triell.)

"Yes, but only if you'll have me?" Triell's words brought a sense of catharsis, banishing any lingerings of fear and trepidation from her mind. She had worried so much, chastising herself for her foolishness, not allowing herself to hope for this. And yet here they were. "How could I say no?" she replied, her words carrying her sense of relief and happiness with them.

A pang of guilt stabbed Nayeli as Triell talked of his fears. She hadn't thought he would notice her absence, she had only meant to be out here for a short jaunt, a walk to clear her thoughts before returning. Pressing her head against his chest, she tried to erase any worries she had been the cause of. She had no desires to leave here, leave him. In this moment, she knew that not even her family would pull her from his side. The only thing that could make her leave him now, was him. Sparks seemed to dance in her fur, in her veins. A family? It was one of those things she had never thought about in an immediate sense - such musings had always been reserved for a faraway future. Then after the disaster, the dream had been tucked away for good, or so she'd thought. "Nature has given us both so much darkness and death. I want to fight it. I want light. I want life." She pulled back to find his gaze once more, feeling the warmth spread through her again when she found it. "I... I want you, Triell." how could he have thought he was not enough? He had filled her thoughts, wormed his way into her heart when she'd thought such a thing was nigh impossible. She couldn't put a name to what he made her feel, but nor could she deny it for any longer.

I will always belong in the service of a Queen

A sound of joy came in a form of a low chuckle. Half laughing at himself, and the unexpected turn of events. There could have been a chance this wouldn't have come to light because of fear, and yet that's what had ignited his confession. The Tainn had been afraid of a permanent good bye he didn't want to live with. Here they were, and he was trying to wrap his head around how quickly life had changed for him again. What would happen now?

He craned his neck over hers, in a form of embrace. No, this change was not the usual of tragedy and pain. It was a beginning. They would be together, and that was really all he needed. To know he wasn't alone, that he had exactly what he had hoped and searched for. Was she ready for all it entailed to have his heart? The solidity of her dark form against his answered the question. It was clear she wasn't running away, she was reassuring the dark man she wanted to stay with him. They would figure out what it meant, one step at a time. She could not have explained their past, and same want of the future any better.

With those silver eyes holding onto his, there was a light sensation that rose in his chest. Her declaration causing a sudden exhilaration in his drumming heart, electrifying its broken pieces. There was no guilt or fear to mar him. There wasn't anything dark whispering in the back of his mind. The often heavy weight he held upon himself erased, and it was replaced with a consuming, unwavering desire. In answer a low rumble of yearning hummed in his chest, and he planted a warm lick to her cheek, she was all he wanted too.

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