everything you hate me for

THEME SONG

She had no reason to think of him, but she did.

Scouring the lands of fireweed, her mind roamed those in her life and most of all, those many who had long passed. Around this time of year she was cursing Kiche for not being there for her, for not stepping up as both a father and a Leader to the pack. He had proved himself to be sorry for the wrongs he had done to both Grizzly Hollow and herself, though had yet still proved to be useless. Savor for one thing... A smile twisted upon her lips at the thought of her three healthy children, nearly a year old now. They had survived their first winter and now there was an assurance they would survive many more to come.

Kiche was hardly her ex. There time together had simply been because she had thought no other available. Guiness was hardly a man she looked to in such a manner, for although he had proven again and again to be a good guardian to her and well off care-giver to her children, he lacked any since of dominance. Any sense of willingness to serve her in such a way Kiche had been willing to by bowing to her hand and foot. The loss of Phineas in her pack and in her life was a sting in the gut, for surely had she known of his affections, it would be he at her side this very day.

She snorts, narrowing her eyes to the day's sun, alight in the partly clouded sky. Her attention moves back to the field, mouthing at a bit of ergot as she made her search for medicinal herbs. Would he ever return to the Lore? Would he ever return to her, her children - their children? Kiche had given her something Angier would never think to consider, her prodigy - her legacy.

"You won't leave us, will you, mother?"

He could still remember the day he'd spoken those words to his mother, and now they made him shiver to think that he completely understood the answer to that question- and that it was an answer he would never be satisfied with. Even though Skana's death had been peaceful and had left her with a serene look on her kindly features, Asriel still found death something that both fascinated and terrified him. But it was something he would have to push through- something he needed to make himself understand.

He found bones that morning- only bits and splinters of them, as some opportunistic creature had already seen fit to chew them and pull whatever nutrients from them that they could. Still, he looked at the bits of bone, turned them over carefully with his claws and sneered at the remainders of a skull. It was small and canine, and grinned wolfishly at him, even though it was far too narrow to have belonged to one of his species. A fox skull, he deduced, as he looked down into its empty eye sockets. Underneath his beautiful, flame-touched fur, he looked like this too, he imagined. He too would have that sick grin even if his lips didn't show it. When at last he'd finished studying the skull, he picked it up in his jaws, held back his tongue to avoid tasting anything, and snapped his jaws shut, cracking it into three parts which he let fall to the ground. The smile was gone from the fox's face now, and it had found its way onto Asriel's.

It had faded by the time he found his mother's tracks, which he followed like a dutiful servant. He hastened his step s that he could catch up with her, and uttered a deep, affectionate murmur as he caught sight of her in the distance, her muzzle not high above the ground and after a moment of contemplation, he understood what she was doing. He moved forward, noting with satisfaction that as he drew closer to her, she became larger in his vision- but her size no longer dwarfed his, as it had nearly a year ago. No, Asriel had grown tall and his shoulders now rose above hers, but he was still very capable of making himself subservient to her, folding himself inward to show the utmost respect to the woman he loved more than any other. He greeted her by pressing his muzzle against her cheek, a soft whine passing his lips as he did so. While to all others he wanted to be seen as a mighty, powerful guardian, to her he always wanted to be seen as her beautiful baby boy, beloved and cherished.

He was her son. Her beautiful, bright and strong son. She would never look to Morganna or Skoll in any less of a fashion then the young male who approached her now, yet each of her children had something unique to them - something special. The qualities in Asriel were obvious; his devotion towards attending to her every need seemingly unmatched. He was the first born, the largest, although Skoll and Asriel's height were not far from one another, Asriel processed more of a girth. Whilst Skoll seemed the rebel child, wild and free and daring, Asriel stayed close to home. Protective of his land and most importantly, protective of her.

As he came to her, her head lifts, ears perking high on her head in alertness once she realizes she is no longer along. The slightest of smiles brushes her features when she sees him, a single to and fro wave of her tail given. It was a shame the children brewing inside her now were less likely to hold such brightly hues as he did. When he came to her, touching his muzzle to her cheek, she brushed her own length of her muzzle into the brightly colored ginger hairs at his nape and down his shoulders. Like fire and ash... She thinks as she breaths in her growing boy's scent, pulling away if only to look at him further and make sure he was well. Everyone was still feeling the bitterness of winter but it seemed each and every day they were becoming more and more themselves again.

(This post was last modified: Apr 23, 2014, 09:24 PM by Elettra.)

It pleased Asriel to no end to be welcomed by his mother, and a real fear had existed that she might push him away or hold her affection back. True, he was nearly an adult, and couldn't be coddled his life, not even if only in private. But still he yearned for her approval and praise, and after she'd lashed out at her two sons when Skana had died, he'd wondered if that had been the beginning of the end of their beautiful mother-son relationship. He didn't want to stay a pup for his whole life- in fact, he wanted to speak with her about his coming of age...But he wanted to be loved no less than he was now; he wanted to make her proud.

He felt himself grow a bit stronger when she accepted his affection and drew back, then, to look at him. Asriel was a proud creature, and a vain one too; but he knew that these things were not entirely bad qualities, especially when he was supposed to be proud and vain. He had the body, the face, the coat for it- and the lineage too. These were things which were passed down through remarkable genes, and to be ashamed of them, or to even be too modest would have been a loss. "I'll be a year old soon, mother," He said in his rich, silky tones. He spoke the words as though this was something he'd been waiting for for a very long time. His whole life, in fact; he'd wanted to grow up fast and big, so that he could be every bit as mighty as he felt he should be. But the yearling boy didn't simply want to be praised for having survived the winter, or for growing a year older. There was something else he wanted. "I want to be a guardian."

A year old. A year which had not gone without it's many trails. It was the first time she had actually decided to have children and although it had not been the first time she had given birth, had been the first time she had raised young. Not only this, but she had done it not only as a single parent, but the sole ruling Leader of this pack. She was the only healer, as well. Much of her time had been divided between treating patients, tending to the pack's needs, and caring for her youth. She had been a very busy woman without a moment to spare for herself, it seemed. Surely she had every right to be irritable and hardened over the time, but every bit had been worth it's effort. She was certain, however, had it not been for the helping paws of Guiness (who guarded the lands and spoke of behalf of her ruling), Skana (who baby-sat and taught her young), and Angier (who not only taught the kids but attend to Elettra's needs when she was bed ridden) she might have not made it where she was not. Perhaps not her children, ether.

She smiles to Asriel's words, his confidence, his seeking of acceptance. "A yearling, yes, but not an adult. In order to take official titles you must first become one." She speaks, settling down before him now to rest amongst the fireweed. "For the first year of life you were blessed with simply being able to wonder freely and lazily - to know your land and yourself. The second year will be devoted to training and mastering your skills." She would explain this to her eldest son, pausing so that he might think this over. Whilst he was very eager to gain a rank and do work amongst the pack, one needed not a title in order to do so. He would have to work for it in order to gain it, just as much as everyone else within the ranks. She expected only the best from her children. "When Narime lived here, she was our greatest Hunter, despite having no title and despite being a yearling herself." She spoke this, thinking highly of the woman who now lived within Whisper Caverns. She hoped that knowing this her son would not be discouraged despite the fact that he would hold no former titles. But a guardian did just that, guard. Already he was doing a wonderful job of it. The mother looks directly to her son then, her eyes of a pale silvering to that of golden. They were like looking into the eyes of Kiche himself, which had it been him, would have quickly diverted to her paws where mainly, they belonged.

Asriel smoothely settled down onto the ground with the grace of a cat even though his pride was slightly wounded when his mother denied him the pleasure of being likened to an adult. He disliked the thought of having to go another year before he was old enough to be an adult, and it made him frown slightly, a frown that was a slight pout on his handsome features. He avoided eye contact as he did not want his mother to see his disappointment, but while he could hide his feelings easily from other wolves, he struggled to do so with his mother. He so wanted to be an adult in her eyes that the disappointment was too much to hide.

He felt somewhat singed by her comment about being lazy as well. His gaze flew to her, as though to ask exactly how he'd been lazy, but he supposed she was right and turned his gaze away. He'd never had to defend the borders from an intruder. He'd never had to confront someone who'd trespassed, nor had he ever had to greet someone who'd come to join the pack by himself. He'd been learning how to do these things by watching his mother and Angier, who was a most trustworthy and skilled guardian of the pack, but he had yet to put these learned skills into use. And that was what this next year was for- for developing those skills and putting himself to work, to make himself strong and learn to guard the pack like the noble heir to the throne he was.

When she referred to Narime, his features lifted slightly. He liked her. A steely, cold pang struck his heart when he thought of Malia, but he had to keep those feelings at bay, knowing they could very easily consume him. Narime had been their best hunter- though she didn't have the title. He still frowned slightly. I want that title, he thought to himself. And what if some other adult joined the pack before he was an adult and took that role before he could? He didn't like that idea much at all, but couldn't really do anything about it. If that was the case, he'd simply have to school them as soon as he was old enough to challenge them and take the role as his own.

"Will I be king someday, Mother?" He asked, knowing better than to ask when he might be king. He hoped it wouldn't be too soon- his mother was the queen and the throne was, and should be hers for at least another decade, he hoped.

Somewhere behind the mother and son duo, Elettra's second-born quietly stood, listening as he kept pressed against the trunk of one of the many ancient willow trees. Since his meeting with Lady Narime, Sköll's interests had shifted after remembering, yet again, that like her sons, the Archer princes had each other as competition for their mothers' thrones; and, today, was just another one of those days in which the younger, more jealous brother stalked his older, braver, princelier sibling. Perhaps if he had been blessed with more brawn than brain and more sinew than words, he would have had already confronted Asriel over such an ordeal, and instead of constantly thinking of trying to talk Asriel into giving him (or even sharing) Willow Ridge, he might have fought him tooth for tooth for what was also his by birthright.

His pale gray eyes narrowed as he observed the conversation between them, his tall pointy ears bent forward as his eardrums strained to pick up every word and every breath. "I'll be a year old soon, mother," Asriel declared, "I want to be a guardian." Skoll had to keep himself from scoffing out loud. Guardian? How sickeningly noble. He had expected him to say that he wanted to be a King right from the start. Elettra was quick to correct him, "A yearling, yes, but not an adult. In order to take official titles you must first become one." This made the hairs at the base of Sköll's neck rise with satisfaction and a smugness that also made his now characteristic and unbecoming sneer plaster itself over his ivory muzzle. The expression might have stayed if it weren't for Asriel's next question after their mother had explained that Lady Narime, herself, as a yearling had been the greatest Hunter in the pack, "Will I be king someday, Mother?"

Sköll's face fell and morphed into one that ridiculed the back of both Elettra and Asriel's heads. Inside his chest, the pressure was building as he held his breath, his ears feeling as though they were alight with flame. From inside his skull, he answered before Elettra's lips even dared to part, "No. Not while your brother Sköll still lives and breathes..."

i'm a dreamer, i'm a man

i'm doing whatever i can to make the bad things go away

By now, Elettra's attention had long gone from Kiche, the man who had sired her children that stood before her now simply because she demanded it of him. Her thoughts were fleeting of the wolf, here and there, wondering if he might come slinking back. Wondering if her children might ever ask of him. Wondering if he would ever dare and try to taint them with his wretched ways of thinking about the world and those 'heathens' which lived within it. Now her attention was far too much placed on her son before her, not even taking notice to the little shadow in the distance, painted in the same exact coloration as she held - black, silvers, hints of golden just barely caught in the light. He was becoming a great scout, a great little spy, to have gone unnoticed from Elettra's focus.

He did not object her words and yet she could see the movement of his lips in a frown, his eyes casting away from her in an air of disappointment. He was proud, bold, and haughty in a manner that she knew the title would mean much to her son. How much her boys craved her attention, she knew, and the thoughts made her drift to @Morganna. She saw less of her then she saw Asriel and Skoll combined. She was her own woman, a free spirit, strong and independent, perhaps harboring more of Elettra's own personality then both of her boys. She shifts then, trying to find a more comfortable position as the growing pups within her now struggled for their own comfort amongst one another. She wondered if they, too, would seek a title, seek a placement as Lead. Unknowing to her, @Deacon's abilities for Leadership would rival Asriel. He would be a great Leader, though did not necessarily long power though he would grow to be powerful. @Greer would take to none of it at all, demanding respect and authority, but no Throne and the spotlight, time and politics it demanded. And @Castiel? To grow the largest, most powerful when it came to strength alone, but as gentle a giant as the quote suggested.

She touched her muzzle to Asriel's cheek then, her eldest son, wishing to comfort him in delicate motherly affections which came at rare opportunities. "How flattering, that you'd seek to find the answer through me." She speaks as she pulls away, a smirk touching her expression once more. "But it is not me who decides this - it is you. If you want to be a Ruler, you must earn it. You must gain your subordinates trust and respect, as well as hold the strength and dominance to uphold the throne. Whether it be here within Willow Ridge someday, or a new pack founded all your own, I've no doubt you could Lead as I do. You, Morganna, and your brother Skoll all have it in you, but you must want it for yourselves."

(This post was last modified: May 03, 2014, 03:13 AM by Triell.)

There is an elk carcass nearby. It looks like it froze to death. +12 Health

The answer Asriel had wanted to hear was "Yes, of course, my son." He wanted to have his mother rub the top of his head endearingly, as though to mark where a crown should sit some day. But instead, her answer was somewhat cryptic, and instead she mentioned both his brother and his sister. While he knew he would like to see Morganna become a queen someday, he did not imagine her as being the queen of Willow Ridge. He imagined her marrying into another royal family where she could be queen and their packs could be like sibling packs. Or, he could see her being a princess below him, with her own little line of heirs who would go out into the world and strike out kingdoms of their own with rocks and flint that could become full empires. But not in Willow Ridge.

And not Skoll. Skoll was a dark-hearted little trickster; more than once had he dropped some vile, dead creature on Asriel's head while sitting like a goon in one of the willow trees in their packlands. He was childish and selfish, and had too sharp a tongue. Asriel felt he constantly needed to be the voice of reason and reign his brother in...And at times it worked, and he felt his brother was a teammate- but there were times, and more and more of them now, that he felt his brother was growing into something too big to control. He hated to force Skoll into submission using his body or fear, but his brother would need to be controlled somehow; or they would become enemies.

"You are the Queen, mother. Our pack looks to you for direction and law." So if she made him her heir, so it would be. But she did have a point- he would need to win the respect of the other pack wolves, as much as it disinterested him to speak to those below him. He wanted to be respected simply for who he was- a noble born Archer prince. He was silent for a moment after she spoke, his jaw firmly set. "I do want it, Mother," He said firmly. He would stop at no end to become the King she wanted him to be.

Even if it meant he had to go through his brother, Skoll.