(See All?) Announcements
910 Users Online
Bing, Google

My Soul Wouldn't be in Pieces, had I been Normal — Spectral Woods 
Print · · Subscribe · 2 Loves ·
Played by Missy who has 55 posts.
Inactive II. Subordinate
Andromache Moon

Roma watched patiently as Oliver finally explained exactly what was going on. She could tell that Oliver cared very much for Galley by the loving expression in the raven wolf's face. She could easily relate to that feeling and hearing of Oliver and Galley's relationship brought back memories of her and her old mentor, Art. Art was the wisest old she wolf that Roma knew and she had been the one to pull Roma out of her dark place.

As Oliver continued his sad story, a single tear welled up in one of Roma's icy blue eyes and though she tried her hardest to pull it back, she couldn't prevent it from falling. What would she have done if someone killed Art? And worse, to find out that the murderer was in her new pack, part of her new home. The thought of the feeling was unbearable. "Oliver." Roma only spoke his name at first, making sure to collect her self and keep her voice steady before she spoke anymore. Noticing the blood still dripping from his forehead, Roma slowly brought her muzzle closer to Oliver, hoping not to frighten him. Then, with a gentleness completely unexpected from a wolf as large as Roma, she let her pink tongue side across the dark fur on his forehead, washing away the blood and cleaning the wound. After her work was done, she pulled back and met his brown eyes with a kind, loving gaze.

"I can't say I know how you feel, but I will say that I can imagine how hard it must be. I had a mentor once and I looked up to her more than anything. She lived long enough to see me off, but I would have fell to pieces if she had been taken from me before." Art, what would you say to him?, Roma wondered trying to conjure the raspy sound of her mentor's voice. "Sometimes, killing is the answer." Roma's statement was simply and blunt. It was how she truly felt and no one could dissuade her. Monsters like her father deserved to die. But was the man who murdered Galley a monster or had he made a horrible, irreversible mistake? Roma didn't know the whole story and it wasn't for her to decide. "This man, your pack mate, took something from you that no one can ever replace." Roma paused, letting that part sink in. Oliver had to understand that Galley was gone and nothing could ever replace him, not even the voice in his head. "Now you need to let go of Galley. You need to believe that you can live without him. Then, you must face his murderer." The man's fate was in Oliver's paws. If Oliver truly believed the man was a monster, then Roma would stand by him. She wouldn't make the same mistake she had four years ago; she wouldn't let another monster go free to hurt other people. If this man was a murderer and Oliver couldn't kill him, then Roma would. But for now, the ball was in Oliver's paws. This was his past and his monster and he would have to make the decision. "Look into his eyes and then decide what his punishment should be." Roma paused and hoped that he would understand, hoped that what she had said would help him somehow. She couldn't bare the thought of losing Oliver or of failing him.

Played by Alisha who has 65 posts.
Inactive IV. Subordinate
Oliver Carmond

At first, Oliver flinched when Roma brought her muzzle towards his head, but her intentions were pure, and he relished in the warmth that radiated from her care, trying to hold back the instinctive whine that bubbled up from the depth of childhood. It felt....right to have someone once again care for him, despite his large shortcomings. Eyes closed, even in his confused and disturbed state, Oliver tried to draw this feeling close to his heart, to come upon later should he need a reminder of how wonderful it could be.

However....

Sometimes, killing is the answer.

...you need to let go of Galley. You need to believe you can live without him

Wh- what? I- I...!

Lies! He'll always need me!

I don't know if I can! I don't know- I'm too weak!

The shaking resumed as his assurance crumbled, unsure if he could do what was prescribed. Face Drestig again? Let go of Galley? If he wasn't strong enough to even stand squarely against a yearling, he couldn't do what was required. He didn't even know.....taking a breath that hitched with trepidation Oliver tried to gain the ability to speak.

"I...the thing is...I- I don't know. I can't remember what happened...I didn't care whether I lived or died- he seemed to have guilt, but what if it wasn't his- I had no one! No one cared! He ran like a coward and no one cared....but I don't know if it's his fault...maybe it was my fault! .....what if it was my fault?....I could have stopped them....I don't remember...I don't want to remember....I don't want anybody to die....I just- I just- I don't have anyone else...how am I supposed to let go....?" Brown eyes looked pleadingly towards his storm colored companion, half hoping what she said was simply a fabrication. Half hoping she would give him some sort of answer. He didn't know if Drestig deserved what he wanted to do to him. Bits and pieces of his psych were in war.

"Maybe...maybe just my existence is wreaking havoc on everything....maybe my parents should've done away with me from the very beginning..." Perhaps then Galley would've been alive, free to flit around teasing girls as he pleased...and perhaps Drestig would've never been given the opportunity to his the weight of murder on his shoulders.

"Speech"
My tangled mind You're still with me

Dawnthieves.de - Table by PuppyThief
Played by Missy who has 55 posts.
Inactive II. Subordinate
Andromache Moon
Oh my goodness....I love this!! <3


As Oliver's words flooded her ears, Roma frowned. It seemed like her touch had soothed him but her words had only brought on the panic again. If her touch soothed him then she wouldn't take it away. "Oh Oli..." Roma whined as she shifted her position so that she was lying at his side instead of face to face with him. Their sides were touching now and she pushed her muzzle into the nape of his neck, inhaling his scent and drawing her strength from the familiarity and comfort of it. Perhaps, if she spoke to him like this, without being face to face, the conversation would feel less tense. Perhaps it would be easier for them to talk without the pressure of interpreting each other's expression.

Just breathe, she told herself. She would breathe in his scent and speak from her heart. "Just breathe" The words came out of her maw this time and the words were meant for both of them. With a deep breathe, Roma began her response. "Your existence isn't wreaking havoc on me. You're one of the kindest, most honest wolves I have ever met and I am so happy that I met you Oliver. I love knowing you." She let those words rest in a momentary silence between them. Let their warmth and comfort fill the air around them. In a more somber voice she continued, "I am sorry no one was there when you lost Galley. I am sorry that you lost him." Again she paused and again her tone changed as she continued. More firm, but filled with kindness and love she vowed, "But you need to let him go, Oli. I'm here now. I'll help you. Ill always be by your side and I promise you that if you let me, I can show you how strong you are." Roma's eyes stayed intently focused on the ground as her cheek rested on Oliver's dark shoulder. He was strong, she truly believed that. Now, she just wanted him to believe it too. Until he did, she would be the ground beneath his feet, keeping him stable and grounded. Once he realized his own potential, she would be the wind beneath his wings, lifting him up as high as he dared to go. A small smile traced Roma's features as she imagined the two of them, ready to take on the world and fly high above all of the monsters and demons that hid in the shadows.

"Once you let go of Galley, once you let me in, I promise you we can figure the rest out together. Whatever you decide for that pack mate who took him from you, I will stand by you. But, Oli, once you let go I think you'll see things differently...If you allow yourself to." Roma lowered her head so that it rested on top of Oliver's paws and under his chin. She closed her eyes as she waited for his answer. Would he shut her out now? Or would he trust her?

We need a leap of faith, Oliver. Take my paw and we can make the leap together, Roma thought wistfully.

Played by Alisha who has 65 posts.
Inactive IV. Subordinate
Oliver Carmond

Once again, the warmth of her touch helped to still his distress, becoming a support in the tempest of his pain.Just breathe, She told him. He could trust her. He had trust her- the only other option was to fall apart. Hyperventilating became slow deep intakes, thought hiccups remained as Oliver's ragged ears tried to catch and keep absolutely everything she said.

I love knowing you. That stilled his racing thoughts, panic and stress pausing to drink in what she admitted. Why she admitted. Her promise to him lifting his hopes for...for, perhaps, something better. She was willing to stay with him....She thought he was strong....

But am I truly? What...what happens if I let go? Will I be ready?

A chunk of him long dormant admonished such weak thoughts, reminding him that Roma had said she would be there. That he wouldn't have to do this alone. As the larger wolf rested her head beneath his chin, Oliver gathered his resolve. If Roma believed in him, then surely he could do it...right?

"I-" Oliver paused, disappointed in how weak his voice sounded. He started again, this time stronger."I can try. I will try. I'll try."

Try all you can...I still intend to hold to my promise...

"Speech"
My tangled mind You're still with me

Dawnthieves.de - Table by PuppyThief

So do I..though I feel slightly guilty for putting poor Ollie through all of this....
(This post was last modified: Dec 23, 2014, 07:07 PM by Oliver.)