Secret Woodlands Make My Mind Seem Clear

For @Nina <3

- Midday, Sunny - 36 ° F, 2 ° C

It was warm today, at least by her standard, the sun shining down through the young leaves of the tall trees, creating a mosaic of light and shadow on the forest floor. The rust colored shewolf lay in one of the spots of sun, enjoying the feeling of the warm rays on her back. She'd been back home for a few days now, and after spending most of them sleeping - only waking to eat and drink, and take some of the medicine provided by @Miccah on her own instruction - she'd finally regained enough strength to leave the communal den to relish the sunlight. She could feel the warmth all the way into her bones, her full belly feeling satisfyingly swollen from the regular meals it had been without for so long, her eyes closed as she dozed contently. But coming home had been more confusing than she'd thought, the pack she'd returned to was very different from the one she left. There hadn't been much time for explaining, her exhausted mind unable to comprehend much of anything on the day she came home; and after that she'd barely been conscious for more than a few moments now and again. She'd sensed the rest of the pack around her, almost always at least one of them with her as she rested, and she had sensed the absences. What she'd been able to gather was that Kite and Mirren had returned, but Koda and Iopah were gone; Iopah... They'd left to start a family? She wasn't sure of the details, but Silentium  had gone with them and Nina was ruined. To add further to the confusion, her healer's nose had noticed the tell-tale signs of pregnancies; plural. In her half-delirious state, she'd been unable to identify whom among her female pack mates were carrying pups, but the fact that there was more than one was enough to put her on edge; What has happened here..? She shifted uneasily, opening one eye a jar to glance at the den opening a few steps away, she had so many questions and she was finally clear headed enough to ask them. Word count: 358 Thoughts ”Speech”

Burtn @DA & Dawnthieves.de

(This post was last modified: May 12, 2015, 03:31 PM by Aideen.)

PLOT WITH ME!

Even if her mind was not completely clear, Nina had definitely been able to tell that Aideen had returned to them. No doubt Miccah had intercepted her, and the Hervok knew that even though the man still held some of Nina's disdain, he would never allow someone to return without good reasoning. The woman had always been loyal to Nina and had been an outstanding pupil in the art of healing. The Hervok had never questioned the girl's loyalty...and yet, she had not questioned Iopah's loyalty either. Nina's pelt was heavy with the scent of herbs. She had been doing her best to return her son, who had also recently returned, back to health. He was doing better, but not as well as Nina would wish him to be. None the less, the fact that he returned home was enough for her. She did not know where she would be if he hadn't returned. And now Aideen had returned as well. The mother had not wanted to overwhelm Aideen with the first few days of her return. If she was in any condition similar to the one that Pacem was in, Nina knew that she needed her rest. So the matriarch let her go and continued on with her own duties, which lately consisted of her going through her herbal supplies and constantly reorganizing them. After a few days had passed, the woman made her way through her territory, quickly determining Aideen's scent from the rest of her surroundings. On the way, she picked up a rabbit from the caches, knowing that Aideen would need from substance, and not wanting to delay their talk any longer. The mother did not hesitate to follow her trail, ultimately ending where the other woman seemed to be staying. Nina, putting the rabbit down and truly believing in the privacy of others, spoke, her voice spoke, "Aideen, it's Nina, may I come in?" She then waited, hoping that her subordinate was in good enough health to grant her entrance.

Dawnthieves.de - Table by PuppyThief

It seems when you're around, my life is complete.

The suns warmth did her well, heating her body that had been too cold for too long. She could feel herself getting better, strength returning with every hours rest and every meal, but there was a long ways to go yet; her leg still hurt when she put her full weight on it, it would be a while yet before she could return to her regular patrolling and harvesting. It was frustrating, after being gone for so long, Aideen knew full well how much she had missed out on - the herbal stores would have dwindled, even with Nina to look over them, and already, valuable days of fresh shoots had passed. The rusty healer also felt a deep need to get back to her duties, feeling guilty for all the months she had left the pack without her; Especially now... Now that everything seemed so fragile, the whole pack balancing on a cliffs edge; The few of us who are left..! She was roused from her half slumbering thoughts by the sound of a familiar, warm voice, copper eyes blinking open to look at the other, who's approach she had not even noticed. "Nina," She smiled - palely, but that was only because of exhaustion, she was truly happy to see her mentor; "Of course." She said, moving to make room for the golden woman next to her. The smell of what Nina had brought made her teeth water, stomach growling demandingly. Her smile turned a little sheepish as she tore her gaze away from the rabbit to meet Nina's green eye; "It's good to see you. While being awake enough to know it." She added the last with a light chuckle, waving her ears with embarrassment. Her tail flicked pleasantly behind her, but she felt a twitch of nervousness in her chest, what was Nina gonna say about her absence; I'm REALLY sorry! Hopefully she wouldn't be too mad. Word count: 321 Thoughts ”Speech”

Burtn @DA & Dawnthieves.de

PLOT WITH ME!

She truly had been worried for Aideen and Pacem’s well-being. Had Secret Woodlands not been in complete shambles, Nina would have gone to look for them herself, to ensure that Iopah had not made some mistake. But then the Hervok would remember had actually cared for her friends…but then even that thought contradicted itself when it reminded Nina of how much Iopah had hurt her. The thoughts were unwelcomed and she tried to push them away as she went to Aideen, setting down the rabbit in front of her pack mate and nudging it forward. It was obvious what Nina wanted to happen. Her subordinate desperately needed her strength back and the alpha was doing everything in her power to help Aideen get her strength back, once again, at the cost of her own.  Nina could truly not recall the last time she had eaten a meal. This might have concerned her, had she thought about it long enough, but for the time being, the overstressed woman simply shrugged it off, busying herself with duties and trying to get the pack back in order. It never crossed her mind that the best thing she could do for the pack is for her to get her shit together.  However, right now was about Aideen, and Nina wanted to make sure that everything was alright with her. In reply, Nina smiled, her voice soft as she answered, "And it is good to see you home and safe again. We were quite worried about you. Had we acquired more members, I could have sent Miccah and Kite out to look for you. Luckily, both you and Pacem found your ways back home." Her voice was sincere and truly happy that they had returned. But her body lacked the life she once had, an obvious change since the last time Aideen and Pacem had saw her.

Dawnthieves.de - Table by PuppyThief

(This post was last modified: May 16, 2015, 10:56 PM by Nina.)

It seems when you're around, my life is complete.

There are several fresh rabbit tracks in the mud. Hunt Opportunity

The rust pelted girl happily accepted her leader's gift, turning her copper eyes to the rabbit for a moment, as she tore into its skin. The meet was day old, but it didn't matter, it was still delicious to the starved lass, and she devoured several large chunks with a satisfied hum. Only when Nina spoke again, replying to her own greeting, did the younger shewolf look back up, smiling again in that slightly embarrassed way. The words warmed Aideen's heart, but her smile faded as the golden queen mentioned the lag in members, and when she mentioned @Pacem, copper eyes widened in shock; He was lost too? The thought of the young boy lost and alone put a horrified grimace on Aideen's face; Poor lad! Her own months in the frozen hell had been a nightmare, how terrible wouldn't it have been for the pup?! She remembered the youngsters she'd run into during her journey home, especially a frightened, dark girl stood out clear in her mind; "Poor Pacem..." She mumbled, meeting Nina's gaze; "I trust he is well and safe now?" For the first time, Aideen truly looked over the golden woman, noticing the change that had happened while she was gone. It was clear that Nina had been affected by her latest losses, both her body and face looking much more worn than they had at the start of winter. The fox like healer felt a deep stab of guilt, copper gaze falling to the half eaten meal before her, appetite suddenly lost. Her ears fell flat back against her skull, tail curling tight around her hindquarters, and there was deep regret in her eyes when she once more looked up at her mentor, stomach pressed down against the dirt. "Nina, I'm so sorry!" She began, voice trembling slightly with the strong emotions she felt. Her whole posture was a picture of remorse, the almost groveling position showing her feelings of guilt; but there was no fear, those feelings about the strong queen had long been replaced by respect and adoration. "I was so stupid, I went too far from the territory and got caught in a snow storm. When it finally calmed, i'd gotten hopelessly lost! I ended up somewhere far north and couldn't find my way home." She lowered her eyes to the ground, whining lowly in apology. She couldn't believe she'd been gone so long and she blamed herself and her disappearance for the damage that had happened to Secret Woodlands; If I had just stayed home; What was I doing out alone so late in the year anyways?! With a sigh, the reddish lass looked back up at her leader, flipping one ear forwards. A deep wrinkle formed between her brows as she again studied the one eyed dame, concern lining her features. "Nina, what happened here?" She asked after a short, thoughtful pause, gesturing to their surroundings with a wave of her muzzle; "Where did everyone go?" Before her disappearance the pack had been big and strong, but now they lagged, not only in numbers but in something else, something deeper. The change was clear in the matriarchs weary face. Her healer's instinct suddenly kicking in, Aideen sat up, pushing the remains of the hare towards Nina. She said nothing for a little while, simply gazing down at the carcass before the other's feet, the she looked back up with a soft smile; "I'm full." Word count: 573 Thoughts ”Speech”

Burtn @DA & Dawnthieves.de

PLOT WITH ME!

It was good to know that Aideen and Pacem had quickly found their way back to the Woodlands. She had missed them dearly and now that they had returned, the matriarch had an ounce of peace at mind. She remained silent and watched in confusion as a look of guilt passed over her friend’s face. So, remaining completely still, Nina listened to her friend’s tale, noting how she seemed to blame the freak accident on herself. Now, while Nina was perfectly aware that she did exactly the same thing, she knew that none of this was Aideen’s fault and the leader had never lied to Aideen unless it was concerning her own health. It was something that healers would have to come aware of someday. Their patients, most of the time, would lie to them and would not give themselves the best chances that someone else would. It was why, often, when Nina received an injury or became deathly ill, she would go to Elettra for her advice. It was also why the Hervok owed the other woman so much. It was Nina’s duty to tell Aideen the truth and she would do exactly that. When it was clear that the other woman was finished talking for a little while, Nina spoke calmly, "I do not want you to blame yourself for this. You were curious and had no control of the weather and so you could have never known that a snowstorm was coming and that it would be so horrid. What matters is that you have returned home and that you are safe and recovering from the journey this life took you on." When she said this, her single emerald eye looked directly into Aideen’s own orbs, making her aware that her words were true and that the other woman should believe them. However, after her reassurances, Aideen asked the questions that Nina always dreaded answering. Not because she still held onto the hate she had recently developed for Koda and Iopah but because she had to think of them and the betrayal that had broken her. Broken her far more than she would like to admit. Her single eye darkened at the question and the alpha found that she had to look away from the healer before she could answer her, if only to regain her thoughts. Clearing her throat, she remained firm, her voice soft when she spoke, "As you may or may not have known, Koda and Iopah had started to form an intimate relationship… Come spring, Koda asked for permission to breed with Iopah. Since before Koda had even arrived in Secret Woodlands, it had been a law that no one was to breed within the pack except the alphas. It is simply forbidden for anyone else to breed, it was a law put in place by myself and my best friend, Sloane, who was the original founder. I denied Koda’s request, of course, and informed him of the consequences if he broke the law…and well…they did. They could have at least left before they went against my wishes but they didn’t. They stayed and went against the laws…and so I banished them. And then Silentium went with them." By the end of the tale, Nina’s voice had died and a faraway look had once again entered her single eye as she recalled what had happened that day. She had been betrayed by the man who had, once again, promised to fix everything he had broken. And he had once again broken his promise and gone against his word. Her attention snapped back towards Aideen, noticing that her eyes were fixated on the remaining meat on the hare she had broken. Sighing softly, Nina gave somewhat of a dead smile towards Aideen, her voice faded when she spoke, "Thank you, but I’m not hungry." Of course, that was a lie but the Hervok could not get herself to eat, not after recalling the miserable experience that she had witnessed. Not after the betrayal of her ex-lover and best friend. Perhaps if they had handled things differently, their situations could have been different now.

Dawnthieves.de - Table by PuppyThief

It seems when you're around, my life is complete.

Her relief was intense when she met Nina's clear, green gaze, hearing her tender reassurances. No matter how many times she'd told herself that she had no power over the weather, she still felt guilty for disappearing; especially at such a tentative time. With all the other turmoil, her own unannounced departure and surely assumed desertion had only added to an already too troubled situation. And one where she help would have been sorely needed. As a healer, both of trade and heart, she could never forgive herself that, but knowing that Nina did, lifted a huge weight off her shoulders.

There were many more things troubling her though, and seeing the golden queen's expression at her question, made the dawning smile on her lips shrink back. Clearly, Nina was deeply moved by the events that had split apart her pack, Aideen had known that as soon as she laid eyes on the weary woman, but just how deep were her wounds; What exactly happened?! Nina had turned her eye away, face growing dark and introspective, muscles clearly tensing, but her voice remained gentle yet clear as she began explaining. As the tale unfurled, the smaller girl's eyes grew wider and wider, the last traces of smile disappearing as she opened her maw ever so slightly in shock. She had known of Iopah and Koda's growing affections, she had been happy for them, especially the huntress who had been alone for so long, but hearing this; Breeding, law-breaking..! So many thoughts ran through her head at once as she tried to process the information given: Iopah and Koda had become official, finally declaring their feelings to each other and the pack; They had bred; Iopah was pregnant! Warmth swelled in the vixen wolf's chest at the thought, happiness on her friends behalf filling her every fiber. But her emotions were conflicted: They had broken the law, gone against Nina's wishes, even after she'd specifically laid down the letter; They had left, abandoned Nina and the Woodlands; And Silentium...

It was no wonder Nina was so troubled, though Aideen knew only few details of their past, she knew Koda had been leader of the pack once before, mated to the matriarch and father of her litter; all before having disappeared, leaving the mother alone at the head of her pack. She had welcomed him back, even allowed him to rise beside her and rule once more, only to see him betray her once again. While Aideen did not really understand the transgression and the law that lay behind it, while she found it hard to hate her closest friend for falling in love, and the man she loved for wanting to start a family with her, she could see her friend and leader's pain, and she could understand it, especially given that the two had not just left alone, but taken one of Nina's sons with them. Surely, Silentium had willingly chosen to leave his mother, but that did nothing to ease the pain of a mother, and it was not hard to imagine how she must blame the ones who put him in the position to choose in the first place.

Aideen looked upon her mentor with shock and pain clear on her face, seeing the almost dejected expression in the one, formerly so clear and strong eye. Nina rejected the meal, and her student felt the healer's intuition rise within her, it was obvious that the scarred woman was underfed, clearly thinner than lat time Aideen saw her, and there was no doubt that it was her depression that affected her appetite. For a second, the medic's eyes narrowed critically, starring at Nina the same way she would stare down any difficult patient, then the sad look returned, shoulders slouching dejectedly; she couldn't force her to eat. Had Nina not herself been a healer, there were herbs her pupil could have administered the ease the emotional pain and boost appetite, as well as help with the weakness she would already be feeling from her lack of sustenance. But as it where, Aideen was in no position to aid her mentor, at least not physically, and when it came to psychology, she wasn't sure how to handle it. Nina was no big talker as it was, and though the reddish girl had no qualms striking up a conversation, when it came to such sensitive, personal matters, she felt more shy; this would take finesse, and she wasn't sure she had that.

She would need time to think through what Nina had told her today, draw her own conclusions and come to terms with her own feelings on the matter. Then perhaps, she could work on helping Nina heal. Aideen's face had grown dark as well, brows furrowed as she stared a head emptily, deep in though. Now she shook her head lightly, shrugging her shoulders as she looked back up at her alphess. "I'm sorry, Nina." She said meekly, trying desperately to come up with anything more to add, but failing. "I wish I could do something to help you." She finally admitted, turning her head to gaze into the distance like Nina had just done herself, feeling her heart grow heavy in her chest.

Word count: 875

"Speech" Thoughts

PLOT WITH ME!

Nina’s mind was in a completely different place. She did not want to lose focus in front of the other woman, knowing full well that it was rude and that Aideen might need her care. The only thing that brought her back was her friend’s voice, cutting through her mind like a knife. Swallowing, the alpha was at a loss of what to say so she simply sat there, her single emerald eye almost staring through Aideen. The Hervok did not want the other woman’s pity, it made her feel weak and pathetic. Sighing and not knowing what to say, Nina directed the attention back onto her subordinate’s needs.

"Is there anything that you need? I’m sure your road to recovery has not been pleasant." Of course it wasn’t. Some wanted to eat and drink all they could after they had been fasting for long enough. Their brains would work to fast to tell the body what it craved. But if someone did something too fast that they had not done in a while, the body would reject each substance. Nina had not been there for the early developments of Aideen’s return and could only hope the other woman had been alright. The matriarch had ensured that her son was careful with each substance he ingested and used particular herbs to make sure that his stomach remained settled. It made Nina feel extremely guilty that she had not checked in on Aideen sooner to ensure her safety and well-being.

It seems when you're around, my life is complete.

The golden queen's reaction spoke its own, obvious answer; she didn't want help. Aideen sighed, knowing that no amount of strictness would change the leader's mind. For now, she would have to leave Nina to herself, she didn't have the energy nor strength to care for her alphess in the manner she needed; Later. She thought, nodding to herself. Once she'd regained her full health, and had a chance to think through everything she had learned today, then she would return to Nina as her medic and apprentice, and make sure she got the care she needed. But for the time being she would have to trust in Mirren, and Nina's own resolve to keep going, hopefully her duties would be enough to prevent her from despair completely. Why couldn't I have stayed HOME?! Despite the one eyed woman's reassurances, and her own better judgment, Aideen blamed herself for what had happened. If she'd just been there, maybe she could have helped sort things out, make sure it didn't come to this; Or at least support Nina so she didn't end up this way!

But there was nothing she could do now, so she tried to push away the bad feelings and focus on Nina's question, knowing full well that the older woman was deliberately moving to change the subject. The fiery lass smiled reassuringly, determined to at least not burden her mentor any further; "It's taken some time to readjust, but I'm managing. @Miccah has been looking after me." Heat rose in her cheeks as she said it, and copper eyes drifted to her paws bashfully. Still, thinking of her dark knight, and how helpful and kind he had been, brought a smile to her face; "He's brought me food and herbs from the stores whenever I asked..." Also when she hadn't asked, in fact he had worked very hard to make sure she never needed anything, checking in on her often and keeping an eye on her when she rested; she'd noticed, even if he thought she was fast asleep.

The pause stretched while the young medic was lost in thought, and when she finally realized, she looked back up at Nina in embarrassment, continuing hurriedly: "I've been careful to take it slow, you've taught me well!" She smiled at the golden lady, gratitude shining out of her every fiber. If it hadn't been for Nina, she would never have become a healer. Ashanti might have been the one to open her eyes to the world of plants and healing, but it was the queen of the Woodlands who had taught her all she knew, guiding her through the long and trying path to where she was today. Aideen met her leader's single, deep green eye, hoping to convey her feelings without speaking, for he didn't know the words to express them. Then, knowing that the fellow healer would be interested in the details, she cleared her throat and added, in that rushed manner of hers; "The first days were a bit rough, you know how a stomach reacts to good food after having been mostly empty for so long. But I had Miccah," Once she'd managed to calm him down and convince him that her troubles were perfectly normal; "He helped me get through the worst, and with the medicine he fetched for me, I've been getting much better." She smiled broadly to underline her healthiness, but at the same time, she could feel fatigue starting to tuck at her.

Word count: 583

"Speech" Thoughts

PLOT WITH ME!