Oak Tree Bend You're slowly giving all your sanity away

 

   when I knew I loved you

  • NAIRA •

I ran home to tell you, oh darling, darling!

 

It hadn’t taken her long to realise just how battered the wolves of the Bend were. Seemingly she had chosen an opportune time indeed to bump into the female leader. She had been rushed – with children to care for that weren’t her own and a pack to run Naira could sympathise. But she didn’t want to go barging in to assist without @Triell’s blessing. Instead she had busied herself patrolling borders (conveniently avoiding the trails he frequented most), filling caches and starting to gather whatever plants she may find use for. With the days growing shorter and winter’s inevitable approach she didn’t want to be caught unawares.

 

She had found for herself a compact dip in the soil, nestled amongst the roots of a large white fir tree – and in the warmer weather it would serve well enough as a bed for her now. Well clear of the main den, it was still only a small miracle she had not seen even a glimpse of the male leader with the burning eyes but even she knew, no matter how elusive she thought she was, the time would come when they would meet face to face. Naira never liked to think anyone else held all the cards, it would be a pre-emptive strike to track the dark Tainn down herself, if only to gently remind him she was here, in the one place he thought he might be safe from her.

 

Rising with a stretch and a shake she set off deeper into the cover of the Spectral Woods, her tail siting respectfully low and her ears tilted back. She could already smell that he wasn’t far ahead and she smiled a genuine smile. Oh wasn’t he in for a surprise…

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Shred it all to pieces, my sanity and reason

He knew she was here. First he had believed she had finally lost all sense and passed the no trespassing sign to gain reaction. When he double checked Spieden's signature lingered and the man gnashed his teeth. Why he wanted to track the woman down and demand what the hell he knew it wasn't logical. What could Spieden have known about Naira? For did anyone but he know who she was now? Unlikely. It would be best to treat her like any other newcomer. Besides he wasn't about to snap at the wolf who was taking care of his children and pack and drive her off the deep end. Even a light questioning could be too much. Did he really care about what Naira had said? Why was she avoiding him? He liked to believe he didn't so he followed her lead. Remaining oblivious to the fact she existed. That she was a part if this pack now.

A hefty breath he pursued his path, making his route away from the stream and into the more untraveled part of the Bend. For now wasn't the time he wanted to talk to anyone or hold face. This would be his last moment of solitude before he returned to take up watch of his cubs. Why he didn't need to be alone with his thoughts, here he could simply veg out. Pretend that nothing existed and mattered for a little while. Why he was not in denial of Nayeli's absence, he wasn't fully acknowledging it. He had to keep together some how and for the time this was a piece of the method.

(This post was last modified: Aug 17, 2015, 05:17 PM by Triell.)

are you with me through it all?

@Triell

 

   do you long to be left all alone?

  • NAIRA •

set apart with a heart made of stone

Was she imagining it or had his steps slowed? She only had to use her nose to discern this was not a well travelled place, little more than a dusty back corner of the Bend, and her own steps faltered. The demands placed upon him were no doubt numerous and she herself was known to snap at subordinates when her down time was interrupted… Well perhaps it would be refreshing to be on the other side of the interaction for once.

 

She could spy his dark coat through the foliage now and despite his imposing stature she couldn’t help but note how vulnerable he suddenly looked.  The smile had long since vanished from her face and instead was replaced with one of concern. She made no attempt to conceal her approach, strolling forward with all the care she had carried when they were residing together at Swift River, as if the last three years had never happened at all. She didn’t waste breath on words instead she waved her tail in a low sweep at her back and moved to bury her nose in the thick fur that lined his neck near the base of his ear, trying to land an affectionate nip before dropping her head back down low.

 

They didn’t have to make a big deal about their current circumstances surely?

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Shred it all to pieces, my sanity and reason

There he stood as still as the rest of the wood, wishing to only be as steady and carefree as the trees themselves. They did not bother over anything. Whether it rained, or snowed, or grew terribly hot. They stood, and grew to the sun. How simply it would be to just live, not knowing what mattered but light, and water. That was his problem. Triell had to do more than simply be, and exist. He had to live, and thrive. He had to be more than a shadow. He just didn't want to any more, despite how he had four very good reasons. All he could think was how they deserved so much better. A whole father.

The sound of her steps brushed his ears, slightly pulling him from his clouded mind. The Tainn did not waver from his stance, nor offer a simple acknowledgement for the longest time. If in moving, he might crash and burn all at once never to rise. He was in no mood to argue, or have a point. The brute wondered if she would see this, or if she would rather poke him some more. Surely, she wanted something from him still.  When she did not utter a single word, only touched him in an old way triggering memories of the River, fiery eyes could not help but flicker to her, seeing a change in the once queen. Why he could by no means mask the emotions upon his face of pain, and how lost he felt, there was something more if only but a hint of it. Something of his heart, and questions he craved answers too. For the longest time he simply stared at her, unable to move.

are you with me through it all?

 

  Let me help, let's begin

  • NAIRA •

Let me learn, won't you let me in?

She had never seen him so broken or dark. He didn’t move to acknowledge her or return her greeting. He simply stared. She returned his gaze for a moment with a genuine smile. For now there was no need to force anything, no plan to be concocted, no competition to be staved off. Here in this clearing, tucked away from the world she could bury her toes into the soil and wait for as long as he needed. She even went so far as to step away, to settle herself into a seated position. Her old hips still ached on occasion and the more she rested them now the less grief they would give her later on.

She slowed her breathing to match his own, waiting to see if he would break the silence first. She longed to do little more than close the distance between them and preen the white patch on his chest, to breath his scent and shush him like a distressed cub, to hold him close and tell him everything would be okay but she refrained, not wanting to send him running into the woods again. When it became apparent he wasn’t going to speak she dared to part her lips. “What is it that has you so dark Mister Storm Cloud?” Her voice was soft, and the smile that tugged at her lips was only there to lighten the question. Surely he knew by now that she still cared for him.

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Shred it all to pieces, my sanity and reason

Breathing was easy, and so was staring. He may at first had really looked at her, but the seconds added up and the more blank it became. If maybe he could will himself to a different time, a place where things had been a bit more simple. When he didn't feel so old and worn. A rushing river. A young Kisla racing Fenru. A pale Ice teasing him out of a grumpy mood. A reserved Marsh standing guard. But above all the comforting figure of Corinna. She always seemed to have things figured out. He had not ever thought what life would been without her either. So was that what he really needed to remember. Her unwavering love and sacrifice through it all? Her will to find a way. How the hell did he pull it together? Was there anything?

It seemed his lack of action or reply would not drive the tawny-grey away. Why he felt he should find it slightly irritating, he didn't. He was glad she was here even if she was seeing him like this. Since she was not playing tease, he wanted to believe she was here because she wanted to be. Having little left to hold and  his defenses thin, he remained skeptic. A drop of his chin, a shift of his eyes, he surveyed her. Trying to read her. Could he trust this Naira? Would she feed him to the other wolves?

An audible swallow, ears shrunk to his skull, and eyelids shut. Unable to look upon her. She shouldn't care. She shouldn't be so nice. Why her smile once would have brought something good out of him, it didn't. It made him feel worse. If he had lost so much more. If everything always got turned upside down."I don't know what to do any more. I don't want to care, but I do." Forcefully, he shook his head, a muffled growl vibrating deep in his throat at how pathetic he felt he was. Feeling like he would lean into her touch, he made himself firmly step back.

(This post was last modified: Aug 18, 2015, 04:02 AM by Triell.)

are you with me through it all?

 

  Let me help, let's begin

  • NAIRA •

Let me learn, won't you let me in?

His words struck a chord in Naira as she ignored his step back and rose to close the distance between them, pushing her head into the thick fur between his neck and shoulder, taking a few steps down the length of his flank, looking back over her shoulder to try and meet his eyes again. “At least you know you care. For a long time there I barely did.” she admitted quietly. After Rhysis abandoned her her for the second time it had been down to Mapplethorpe to pull her out of it. If he hadn’t been there for her, she wouldn’t have been here for Triell now.

“Run with me?” she requested almost absent-mindedly. If he didn’t want to talk so much right now mindless movement might help to put him a little more at ease. If nothing the endorphins might burn away a bit of the cloudiness that hung over his head. She was curious about the fate of Nayeli, nobody seemed overly concerned that she was gone so Naira had been led to believe her absence was anticipated. She didn’t want to touch on the subject while her friend was so… touchy. If he came with her now there would be plenty of time for questions about that later.

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I will die trying

The Tainn didn't brush off her touch. There was something soothing to it, but he still felt like a stone. If feeling better for any reason, especially such a thing would send him to the deepest levels of hell.  How quick a short, dark, humorless laugh came as his reply. He still did not see it as any good. What did caring really do any way? It felt like a rather useless emotion. She had to know well what that felt like. It didn't make sense she should look at it in that kind of light. Hell, he still wasn't sure if she was trying to tell him things she thought he wanted to hear or if she cared. It would take a great deal to beatify him.

What a pair they were, weren't they? The universe kept crossing their paths in the damndest ways. He was hesitant to accept her help, or more. Even if they knew well what loss and love was he liked to think he hadn't been as reckless in his choices. He wasn't so sure. What would have happened if he had gotten her to stay with him? The thought made his guilt seethe. Truthfully, he believed Nayeli hadn't left on her own accord again. With enemies dead and no leads to follow, he had only done so much. It was the main thing that was ruthlessly tearing pieces of him away. He had chosen his pups over answers, of chances of finding her. He didn't feel right about it, but he couldn't live with the idea of them becoming orphans. The past repeated itself too damn much.

Furry ears twitched, and a faint scowl upset his blank facade. No, she hadn't said run away with me. A simply run with me. All right, there was no harm in that. A nod of his head, he waited to follow her lead. If he had forgot how to simply run.

are you with me through it all?

@Triell I just stabbed myself right in the feels.

 

  Let me help, let's begin

  • NAIRA •

Let me learn, won't you let me in?

His scowl drew her brows down in concern but his nod wiped it all away. She waited for a moment to see if he would lead but his paws remained concreted to the forest floor, unmoving. She turned about then, taking the opportunity to shove her chest more forcefully into his hind legs, struggling to maintain a straight face as her head swung down to poke her nose into his ribs before quickly bounding away. A playful ‘tag you’re it’ to try and lift his spirits even a little. A quick glance over her shoulder to make sure he was moving was the last look back she would give before turning her head back to the front, weaving left and right between the trees without a thought of the direction in which they travelled.

The soft earth was churning under her paws and the air was blowing through her coat. She could hear nothing over the thundering of their paws in the undergrowth and her own heavy breathing. Water splashed up around them as they thundered through a small stream. When he came close enough she would veer into his flank playfully, offering a small nip if the chance was afforded but mostly she let him be. She wandered in her own thoughts for a time, how long had it been since they had run like this? Years.

She smirked as her steps began to slow, her breath coming heavy as she turned to her companion and asked “Do you remember the last time we ran like this?” For the first time in a long time there was no underlying motive for her question. Everything from the slack way she stood to the smile that reached her eyes spoke nothing but the truth. “You’re slowing down in your old age.” she teased, hoping perhaps his mood had lifted even a little.

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(This post was last modified: Sep 02, 2015, 11:53 AM by Naira.)

I will die trying

His first mistake was  believing she would take it easy it on him when past experience proved Naira would do anything but. So the motion of her white clipped chest caused his back legs to buckle, and he skirted forward tense. No, she didn't stop there. She prodded her cold nose into his side, and it  cast a shiver down his spine. Enraged by his body's reaction ears flattened, and his teeth ground together, preventing any visible shudder. He wasn't sure what the hell that was about. This time he prepared himself for another touch, but instead found her dancing away. Unlike before he didn't have a want to follow. It was by knowing he needed to, he forced himself to trail her.

Steadily blood pumped through his limbs, and the scenery changed at each passing he did not have time to think about anything but what he was doing. For when he could not see her tawny coat anxiety began to climb up his throat, and he would increase his speed. It was by the second feeling of this, cold water striking him, he drove himself to stay at her heels. It may have appeared if he was trying to catch her, when really he was trying not to lose her.

By the time his sides hurt, she slowed to a walk. Thank the stars for that, for he could have kept going, but what hell it would have been tomorrow to pay. While trying to take in all the air he could, he kept a side glance of her. He was far from ready for  the question. Dark face clearly dropped, and he loudly sucked in a shot of the cool air to regain composure. "How could I forget?" He murmured, stopping where he stood, while his eyes raked over the ground. It had never been a memory he had tried to kill only keep quiet in the back of his mind. He had always wondered if it had meant more to him than her. Slowly, he lifted his fiery eyes, finding himself looking upon her when so long he had felt unable. There was differences there, but she very much had all the things he had liked. Bright honey colored eyes, and wearing his favorite smile. What would life had been like if they had been together? Would they each be happy now? Or just of a different torment? His heart had ached to know, but now it just seemed to fucking hurt. .

Triell could not drown any further in misery, and tried to hold to his tawny "lifeline" of sorts. Especially, since she dare continue to jab at him. "Me?" He scoffed. "I wasn't the one to stop first." There was a semblance of a grin, a challenge in his fiery eyes, a ghost of once was.

(This post was last modified: Sep 03, 2015, 04:59 AM by Triell.)

are you with me through it all?