Spectral Woods Afterlife

For @Anneliese - Sorry this took so long -.-;

- Late morning, Partly Cloudy - 67 ° F/20 ° C

It had been a hectic week. Several trips out into the Vale, as well as numerous patrols along the border had kept the dark scout very busy; not to mention various encounters with new wolves, both of the positive and the negative kind. With that in mind, he had elected to take a day off, leaving the borders to Spieden and the others while he tended to, personal matters.

Though it had been a while since last time, the route through the forest was familiar, every step sending painful tremors through his heart. In the blush of summer, the small hill had changed into a sea of flowers, a myriad of different colors and textures filling the domed clearing, circled by short, but solid pine trees. Only at the crest of the little knoll was there a break in the flowery carpet, two small, oval patches that were cleared of weeds; both circled in rocks, one marked by an old, slightly yellowed moose skull, and the wilted stalks of a number of snow bells, poking up through the grass; the other mostly bare, the recently disturbed dirt still visible through the fresh sprouts of grass. The silver tipped wolf slowly made his way to the graves on stiff legs, brushing through the tall flowers and grasses without really noticing.

When he came to a halt at the top of the hill, his ember eyes passed fleetingly over the first monument, a small knot tightening his stomach as he compared its elaborate decorations to the second grave. He wanted to do something similar for her, but he couldn't bring himself to it. He didn't have the artistic sense that Oliver had shown, and he didn't know where to begin. So for now all she had was the ring of stone, and a single, rosy flower that had managed to sneak past the barrier of rocks. Drestig sighed and sat down in front of the grave, looking down at the wild rose with eyes brimming with tears. His voice was hoarse when he whispered; "I miss you."

Word count: 345

"Speech" Thoughts

Gave me your hand but realize

I just wanna say goodbye

Drestig Avalon

Please understand I have to leave

and carry on my own life

The woman was nearing the end of a return leg from one of her frequent unsolicited scouting trips. It wasn't just wanderlust pushing her past the borders of her home anymore. It was the fact that she barely felt comfortable referring to Oak Tree Bend as such. It was nothing like a home should be to her, and each day she had to fight the gnawing guilt, the uncharacteristic anxiety that had become her bedfellow ever since that fateful night she'd chosen to chase after Lalani without a word.

It wasn't just the core nature of the wolves she called brothers in arms, though that had yielded its own crop of problems. She found she wasn't getting along with the adults very well, as they had conflicting ways of approaching very vital situations and this did not sit well with the woman who was trained to work as a unit with her comrades, so surrounded by likeminded individuals during her formative years. No, it was the consistent grief that seemed to plague the woodland pack, and Anneliese failed to sympathize with any of it.

It wasn't necessarily that she didn't want to reach out to them, or to help them shoulder their pain. She simply couldn't. And yet, she found herself drawn to what had been, for her, the start of it all. Without intending to, she had swung her path into an arc, trailing too far in order to find herself in the small clearing that served as a gravesite, with the slumbering remains of Silver, a woman she had never met. As she drew closer, and Drestig's scent materialized upon the wind, half her mind warned her to turn away but the rest of her pressed on, all the more determined.

It wasn't until she saw him in his mourning that true doubts of her belonging began to surface within her mind, and she hesitated among the bordering pines, beryl eyes settling over his slumped shoulders. A few moments were needed to gather her gall, but Anneliese did indeed press on, approaching her estranged pack mate at a slow pace.

"Drestig..." she spoke softly, not wanting to trample upon the utter peace that existed here.

PLOT WITH ME!

How much time passed while he sat there, he couldn't be sure. It didn't matter anyway, he had come to be with her; But... She's not here. The realization made fresh tears sneak their way out of his eyes, and he squeezed them shut, clenching his teeth to fight back the pain, and a heavy sob that threatened to escape his maw if he opened it. Silver's body, or the remains of it, might very well lie beneath this grass, but she was long gone. It was like a smack in the face, what use was a grave if it couldn't even bring the slightest bit of relief?! Ember eyes blurred by tears opened back up, glaring at the rose on the grave before him, reaching for the sun in its urgent, yet carefree way. He leaned forwards, about to slam his jaws around the flower and tear it from its brittle life, when the sound of someone moving through the grass behind him made him freeze. He didn't know anyone else who came here; Oliver was long gone, and Hotei had been buried under the tree that had killed him, further south and closer to the borders. This was his place, in a sense at least.

As she spoke, he turned his heart to look at her, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes. Her voice was soft, but as detached as it had been on that night, dark green eyes showing no sign of sympathy, though he could not imagine she did not know what he was doing. Still, her presence did not make anger flair within him, perhaps because he was to filled with his sorrow at that moment, to feel anything else. But he also remembered that she had been there that day, by his side when the monsters were punished for their sins. Beyond the events of that dreadful night and bloody morning, he didn't know her very well though, and while it wasn't something he had previously considered to resolve, he saw no reason why he shouldn't take this chance to at least speak to her a little. Glancing down at the graves beside him, he shrugged lightly, sitting idly by and staring at them didn't make any difference anyway.

"Anneliese." He finally replied, voice a little hoarse. Then silence stretched again, and the ebony scout took the time to study her properly. She was an unusual sight for sure, tall and slender, the long, strong but slick les adding to her height. Her coat had a strange, pale golden hue, more yellow than most white wolves, yet still very light, and without a single blemish. The eyes in particular were curious, the darkest green hue Drestig had ever seen, and as he looked into them, he saw not just intelligence and strength, but something more; something he couldn't quite define. After a long pause, the older male cleared his throat, tilting his head ever so slightly; "Did you... Want something in particular?"

Word count: 498

"Speech" Thoughts

Gave me your hand but realize

I just wanna say goodbye

Drestig Avalon

Please understand I have to leave

and carry on my own life

Continuously her pawsteps brought her closer, until there was but a yard between them. There she ceased her advance, posture open and unassuming as her eyes watched his watch her. There was a moment of appraisal between them, he soaking in her entire being while she focused solely upon the flames within his head. They burned even brighter when wetted by unshed tears, she discovered.

When the silence was again broken, she readily offered him the truth.

"I came to visit her," she spoke thoughtfully, gaze drifting to the barely adorned graze at his paws where it remained as her voice continued to mellifluously fill the air. "but I'm honestly not sure why."

She had remembered guarding them that night, even against their wishes, as Jessie and Drestig had gathered the remains and taken them to this place. It was the only reason she knew of the location, and this was the first time she had chosen to come after that sleepless night. For a moment, she puzzled silently over why exactly she had been drawn to visit on this day. Perhaps it was Drestig's presence, even though she couldn't possibly have been aware of it when the thought occurred to her. The gilded wolf still had some faith in her heart, and thus divine guidance was a very real possibility for her.

"Who is that for?" she asked upon deciding that it very much didn't matter now why she was here. Her eyes scaled over the far more decorative grave, observing by the growth that it had been finished quite some time ago.

PLOT WITH ME!

Her answer surprised him, and it was evident in his eyes, trailing back to the grave. It was here for that very reason, but he had never really thought anyone else would be visiting. The bitter thought suddenly occurred to him, that she was more social now, than she had been when she was still alive; But I can't blame her for that... His Silver had been through so much, gone from one pack to the next so many times, it wasn't odd that she felt hesitant about attaching herself to closely to one place. He wondered briefly if she had ever felt truly at home anywhere, but then shook his head lightly, what did it matter now?

Looking back to Anneliese, he saw that her own eyes had drifted, to the monument next to Silver's. He looked down at the scull, lips tightening into a bitter grimace. At her question he sighed faintly, not turning to meet her gaze when he answered; "That's Galley," His voice was distant, but growing more intense as he continued: "My... First mistake." Closing his eyes, the dark man leaned back, clenching his teeth for a moment before turning his attention back to the blonde shewolf, a mixture of feelings brewing in his ember gaze.

Silence stretched for a moment, Drestig's thoughts again travelling to what had been. Things had been much simpler in his days, running with the boys in the mountains, but it seemed he would eventually screw up everything good that happened in his life. Looking back down at the graves, he spoke in a low voice: "I just hope I won't have to dig another one."

Word count: 276

"Speech" Thoughts

GAVE ME YOUR HAND BUT REALIZE

I JUST WANNA SAY GOODBYE

Drestig Avalon

PLEASE UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO LEAVE

AND CARRY ON MY OWN LIFE

There is a family of deer nearby. Hunt Opportunity

The name he dropped upon her ears was not at all familiar, though that didn't surprise her in the least. She knew so little about this pack and its inhabitants, even as she called them comrades. She knew nothing of their history, of just how heavily plagued by loss and death the wolves of Oak Tree Bend truly were. That was all she could assume, unsure if she was willing to dig further. It must have been a pack mate who had passed before her arrival, perhaps long before her arrival. Her eyes had been determinedly studying that skull, but Drestig's next claim brought them upward to focus on his dial.

Concern knitted her brows together as she watched him. Even as his own eyes turned to her, she did not look away, instead searching the autumnal depths. His mistake? Did he truly blame himself for these deaths? Perhaps Galley had indeed been his doing, she could admit to the possibility. But Silver's violent passing certainly was not upon his shoulders. No, the onus lay solely with the wretched villain Garmr and his underling Skadi, and they both had paid the price of their crimes in flesh and blood. Silver had been avenged, by Drestig. Yet still he felt guilty? She couldn't comprehend it.

"Drestig, how could Silver's death be your fault?" she asked, seeing no other way to approach the subject than to bluntly ask. Still, she managed to keep her voice tender, cautiously approaching the subject all the same. The last thing she wanted at this moment was to anger the man and end their conversation, but that did not quench the need to ask.

(This post was last modified: Aug 24, 2015, 07:19 PM by Anneliese.)

PLOT WITH ME!

A light breeze whisked over the hill, making the grasses and weeds wave, brushing against the mourning man's dark flank. His ears flicked in the wind, hearing nothing but the light rustling as it stirred the trees. The scents of summer blew with it, sun-baked stone and dried plants, the warm, spiced smell of grass turned to hay by the heat, all filling his nose in a perfect, mixed aroma, lifting the heavy, sorrowful atmosphere a bit. He had always enjoyed late summer, the richness of the land and lethargic yet plentiful water flow in streams and rivers, as well as the heat; Though it can get a bit too much now and again... Already the sun was casting warm rays down over the treeless hilltop, and a quick glance upwards revealed that it was swiftly reaching its zenith, promising another hot day. Still, the summers where he grew up had been even warmer at times, even though the Vale of Secrets lay lower, it was also farther north, making the air cooler. Despite his dark pelt, the scout enjoyed the feel of the sun on his back, and he would bask in it for as long as he could bear; Perhaps a little further north...

The sound of Anneliese's voice brought him out of his distant ponderings and right back to the present, eyes wide and confused as they turned to her. For a moment he could only stare as if he didn't comprehend her question, then his face twisted in pain. Ember eyes closed, teeth showing in a grimace of hurt, then he looked at her again, brows furrowed; "How?!" His voice was loud and angry, but the fury was short-lived, fading into solemn despair as he continued, more quietly; "Because it was... I let her go! I knew they were out there and yet I let her go out alone. Hell, I was the one who brought her here in the first place!" He looked up into the blonde woman's deep green eyes, his gaze full of guilt and helplessness; "If I hadn't needed her, if I had just been strong enough... Even if I had just been man enough to go with her and live on the mountain, rather than drag her here, she would still be alive!" Pausing to take a deep breath, he let his eyes escape hers, drifting instead back to the simple plot at his paws.

It haunted him, not only that he had been the ultimate cause of her demise, but that he could do nothing about this guilt. Last time, he had at least been able to excuse it with the simple truth; It was me or him. And eventually his brain, in an effort to keep him sane, keep him alive, had suppressed the memory. Here there was no such solace, he had no justification for what he had done, nothing to hold up against the truth of his wrongdoings, and Oak Tree Bend, the inhabitants and this place, would forever remind him of it. Staring at his feet, eyes burning again, but with no tears left to actually shed, the ebony man sighed, licking his dry lips before continuing, voice dejected now, barren of any emotion; "It may not have been my own teeth this time, but I am just as partial in Silver's death as I was Galley's."

Word count: 561

"Speech" Thoughts

GAVE ME YOUR HAND BUT REALIZE

I JUST WANNA SAY GOODBYE

Drestig Avalon

PLEASE UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO LEAVE

AND CARRY ON MY OWN LIFE

anna word vomit 4 u

For a moment she held her breath as those blazing eyes turned upon her, a paradox of wet fire. She had expected as much, in fact she had expected so much, for an emotional creature was a volatile one and her predictions were many given her experience but nothing could have been truly known as probable by the blonde paladin. Still, when his anger fell upon her, sudden and red hot, it was the worst of her inklings given life and she pressed her blunt ears against her skull as she retracted her head an inch, flinching away from the harshly spoken, single-worded question.

Still, her eyes did not so much as blink, instead staring up at him with determination to hear an answer, any reason he could give him for her to shoot down. This was not his fault, and she wouldn't allow him to keep thinking so. It would only serve to mire him further in his grief, and as such his utility to the pack was greatly lessened. Behind her, the pale shaggy tail rose steadily just in case the man thought to lash out in his rage. Yet he didn't; just as quickly as the fire had ignited, it died out, giving way to damp coals just as if water had been dumped upon it.

She watched as the doused man ushered forward all of his excuses, all of the reasons he could grasp for that would make this his fault. Was it easier for him? She had to wonder. Perhaps owning the blame was easier to cope with than merely accepting that bad things just happened to innocent wolves. Yet Anneliese couldn't see how. Defiant in the face of his waves of grief, she disagreed with him.

"What should you have done then, Drestig? Kept her coddled within a private den, unable to see the world on her own, unable to possess any sort of independence? Even then the earth could have collapsed around her, around you both. Fire could have taken her, beasts, floods, sickness; powers far beyond your control much less defiance. Even if you kept her safe from all of it, old age would have rotted her from the inside out. People die, they die unkindly, and often they die unjustly. And it is beyond our control."

There was no pause between her words, and the longer they continued the more forceful each syllable became as the woman was determined not to be interrupted. He would hear all of it, for it all was important to her and she felt that if only he could understand what she was saying, it would become important to him too. It would help him.

"She chose to walk into those woods alone, she chose to live her life with you, and she chose to do that here in Oak Tree Bend. Even if you had to convince her, the choice was ultimately hers and to say it was yours is, in my belief, taking away from her memory, reducing her to a victim that couldn't even walk through the forest alone. Yes, there was blame to be placed, upon the man who tore her flesh and directly ended her life. We saw to it that he paid for that crime, a death for a death, and now it is done. They are both in the ground, and there is no more blame to pass around. To claim some of it for yourself is only hurting yourself unnecessarily, which in turn hurts those still alive around you. Don't damage the memories of the life she lived by taking away from the choices she willfully made, Drestig."

(This post was last modified: Sep 09, 2015, 02:05 AM by Anneliese.)

PLOT WITH ME!

WORDS! Words right back at you <3

He was a slain man. In these very moments he sat like a shell of the wolf that had once been, staring emptily at the only remaining memorial of his love. What lay underneath there, he knew, was not truly her. It was the face he had adored, the strong muscles he had admired and those dark, burnished eyes that had captivated him so. But there was no more light in them, no more life streaming underneath the mangled fur, those desecrated remains were, just like he felt, hollow, empty. She was no more, her very being that he had loved so strongly was gone forever.

Blaming himself was not a conscious choice, but it was a way for his subconscious mind to take back some semblance of control, because if he could believe that he was at fault, then he could believe that there had been a way for him to stop it, a way for her to still be alive. And she should have been, if anything, she should be the one sitting over his grave; The fact that it was this way around baffled him truly. His strong, brave, stubborn mate could not have just crumpled, no matter the force thrown at her, she could not have simply lost. That was why he had to hold the blame, it had to be something he did wrong, that had caused her to die; And not me.

Such drawn into his own, dark thoughts once more, Drestig had completely forgotten the pale woman's presence, and only when her voice piped up beside him, did he again remember. His head turned slowly, eyes focusing sluggishly on her face, as if in a daze. For a moment her words were unintelligible, the steady stream of her voice forming nothing more than a monotone ringing in his ears. Brows wrinkling, he tried to concentrate, shaking his head ever so slightly as if to clear out his ears, eyes blinking to see her clearly. In the end he managed to separate the noise into words, listening silently as she argued on, shoulders slumped and head hanging. The notion that anyone could have kept Silver locked up almost made him smile, he could only imagine what might have happened if he had tried; I'm too fond of my face to ever dare such a feat! The glimmer of humor soon disappeared from his mind as he cringed mentally at every image Anneliese painted, adding on scenario after scenario, each more horrific than the next.

He had nothing to say in response, tongue and mind paralyzed by her words. But there was more to come. This time his cringe was visible as embarrassment washed over him when he heard his own angry words retold through Anneliese's point of view; She's right. In his anger and powerlessness, he had reduced Silver to a poppet, spoken like all that happened was only his doing. But the golden shewolf was right, she had had her own free choice, and if she hadn't wanted to come, she wouldn't have. Maybe he had convinced her, but only because she led him do so; There was no way to push her over... If it had truly been as important to her to stay at the Cove, as it had been to him to not abandon the Bend, she would have stood fast on her point. She hadn't; She WANTED to come with me.

But as Anneliese finished off, the raven wolf shook his head, almost defiantly. She was right in saying that Silver had only followed her own will and that might not be his fault, but it didn't change

the facts. Looking into those eerie, dark green eyes, emotion flamed once more in his tired embers, voice cracking slightly with despair as he challenged her again: "But what else can I do? It didn't work! Those filthy monsters might be gone, but that doesn't bring her back! It..." He clenched his teeth, eyes closing for a second before turning back down to the grave plot, fire once more dissipated, and his voice only a weak echo of the previous outburst; "It didn't ease the pain." Eyelids sank back down as what felt like the last tear in his body trickled down his cheek, chin sinking to rest against his chest. Without knowing whether it was to himself, Anneliese or her, he whispered: "If there's no more blame then... What is left? What's the point?"

Word count: 744

"Speech" Thoughts

GAVE ME YOUR HAND BUT REALIZE

I JUST WANNA SAY GOODBYE

Drestig Avalon

PLEASE UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO LEAVE

AND CARRY ON MY OWN LIFE