Secret Falls Dreams aren't what they used to be

@Jessie sorry for the wait! I tried to make an upbeat, pick-me-up thread, but is all Io wanted to do...

Early evening, Light rain shower, 60F/16C

It was raining and every drop of water was washing their last traces from the borders. Iopah felt them strike her gray-saddled back and seep close to her skin. She hurried along, wanting to catch whatever hint -whatever fleeting clue- might be found. Inkheart and now Camio were still missing. None of the women had said anything to each other. The absences were still unmentioned, but far from unknown to the others. Following their own hours and habits all three had begun their own searches. The proof of it was on the border itself; the scents and footsteps of the other were as frequent as hers. They were searching, too.

The ground was sodden underfoot, tracks washing apart before the woman's very eyes. Her sensitive nose picked up a great many things - the musk of the remaining Pines wolves, prey animals, and the clean scent of rain. Under that cacophony of smells there was nothing left of the two missing males. Even before the rain there would have been precious little to find, now there was nothing. Iopah lifted her dark nose from the carpet of red-cedar needles. "Damn it." She whispered softly.

There would always be wolves that left, either against or of their will. Her reaction now was no different than it had ever been. She wanted to find them, just as she had Hollow and Danica, Aideen and Pacem. The two males deserved the same from her now. But, even as an ivory paw moved over the border, her pale ears swept back. She was no longer a huntress-turned-scout that could look far and wide for them. Koda would worry, her daughters would be frantic. With a soft sigh she reclined to her haunches, right on the borders, and parted charcoal lips to send a mournful query into the darkening forest.

She hated leaving. It was one of those things that had bothered her since Hotei had passed. Jessie had not dare take a step outside the border since his death. She found that it was safer for her existence if she remained inside the pack borders. The Scout honestly didn’t know where her paws would take her if she did leave the borders. After a while however, she became aware that the salt and pepper colored woman was not performing her duty to the pack. It was a crucial part of who she was and it crushed her soul even more to know that she was being a disappointment to her leaders, even if she completely despised one of them.

She had finally made the decision to get off her ass and head in another direction. Like usual, Jessie tended to avoid the Red Fern Forest and looped around the Sierra Hills, curious as to how it was up there. The last time she had been up there was when she had first met Nayeli…and now she was gone once again. With a regretful sigh, Jessie pushed on, her gray paws taking her to the outskirts of the Red Forest. She avoided it at all costs and while it certainly put a delay in her wanderings, she couldn’t bring herself to venture there.

The Tainn continued on in her search for…whatever it was she was looking for and came to a sudden halt when a cry of grief echoed through the air. Jessie’s first thought was to avoid the call, her heart aching at the thought of seeing another dead body…especially one that was possibly black with burnt marks on it. However, something about the voice caught her attention and Jessie found that her paws were already taking her in that direction.

Her legs were quick and overall, it didn’t take the woman long to reach where the voice had come from. The familiar form of a creamy woman appeared, though much thinner than she had been the last time Jessie had seen her. Blinking her emerald eyes, the Scout slowed her pace and stopped before the woman, her ears flattening against her head as she looked around the area for the dreaded dead wolf that she thought was going to be there. Her eyes then focused back on Iopah and with a tilt of her head, she spoke, ”Iopah…is something wrong?” 

She wasn't expecting a voice to come back out of the forest. It was all dark and damp and emptiness, but something stirred. Iopah rose from her haunches, her first thought was that someone had found their way back. Footsteps echoed in the forest and she started forward on eager feet to meet them. She overlooked the differences -the silence that a slender body made and the lightness of the steps- till it was glaringly obvious. This was someone else, her wolves were still lost. Pale legs slowed, but did not stop. She had summoned this wolf and whatever they wanted she would meet head on.

Pale toes pressed over the wet earth and a dark nose lifted to the scant breeze. The scent was familiar, reassuringly so. Her breath was rapidly exhaled in a snort, then drawn cleanly back in to be sure. Yes, the memory came much quicker this time. This was Jessie. Her pace slowed again, coming to an at-ease stop. This was not danger coming head one. Jessie was a blunt speaker and violently loyal to her family; Jessie was much like her. The footsteps continued, approaching from the depths of the forest, and the Pines' alpha waited as Jessie appeared.

Her gaze moved with the scout's, searching the same patches of dark with raised brow. Whatever was Jessie looking for? Was the Bend missing wolves as well? "We've been looking for two wolves." She admitted quietly. Gold eyes flicked over the scenery again. It was dark now, but she knew every inch of the dripping forest. The Pines' scent was strong here, even with the rain. Iopah turned back to Jessie, letting a sigh slip loose. "They have been missing for almost a week." And I don't think we're going to find them. Even now the forest was ominously quiet, the Reinier woman flicked her ear sideways. "I hope the Bend has been better." Suddenly curiousity made her gaze sharper on the other woman, an urgent question rising in her mind. "Did you ever kill those wolves from the spring?"

(This post was last modified: Sep 28, 2015, 06:21 AM by Iopah.)

There is a family of deer nearby. Hunt Opportunity

There was no dead body and Jessie had to sigh in relief. However, Iopah’s words caused a twist of pain in her stomach. Loss… It was a word that the gray woman had become accustomed to, being in a pack for so long. When Iopah mentioned to her that she hoped things were better, Jessie internally cringed. No, the love of my life died and Triell is gone. I have no one left. However, it would do her no good to reveal such things to the other woman and the small Scout simply smiled tentatively, her next question driving a memory into her mind. The Scout had terminated one of their enemies while Anneliese and Drestig had taken care of the other one. Nodding her head towards the other woman, she spoke coarsely, “Yes…we took care of them.”

The woman remained silent for a moment, mulling over whether or not to speak. She did consider Iopah an acquaintance, which would hopefully benefit her pack in the future and would be saving the other woman much grief with her words. The widowed Tainn’s intentions were not to be cruel, only to be kind. Grief was something horrible, an ugly monster that would eat your soul and work until it was sure you wouldn’t survive. Jessie didn’t want that for the creamy lass. Clearing her throat, she spoke again, “Lady…Iopah,” Jessie addressed her as, sure that she was alpha, but unsure of how to address her anything but, “I, in no manner, mean to insult you or your members but…having wolves disappear is something that you should get used to. It’s normal for family to leave you… They do it all the time and it hurts but you have to learn to cope and continue on with what you have.” Jessie was, once again, being bluntly honest towards the other woman. It was something she had dealt with ever sense she was a child and was certain that she would have to continue dealing with it in the future.

@Jessie <3

It was good to hear that the rogue wolves had been dealt with, but that was clearly not where the conversation was going to stay. Iopah watched the scout's face for a moment, nodding at the brief statement and noting the wry expression she found there. A moment's wait passed in silence and she turned to watch the rain-dampened forest. This Oak Tree Bend woman had earned her respect with her blunt honesty and Iopah was not going to pull the words out of her.

She watched the rain drip and pulled away from it briefly to gently correct the other woman, "Just Iopah." They were equals to each other; Iopah could not, would not, hold that title over a wolf that was not of her pack. The golden gaze went back to the forest for only a passing moment before going back to the smaller woman askance. There was no question that what she said was true and it was not annoyance that made her stare before gathering her words. "I am used to it, she stated firmly, but quietly. "I know exactly what it feels like." From both sides of the situation, but very few had ever asked the pale-coated woman about her earlier history.

"If they abandoned me, I want to find and punish them. If they are hurt somewhere, I should be the one to find and bring them home." Ultimately, it was not grief that drove her to find them, but responsibility. They had sworn allegiance to her and Iopah was going to be damned if that didn't mean anything to her. "I care more about my wolves than to simply not care when when someone vanishes."

The widowed Tainn blinked at Iopah when she offered her correction, driving an stick through Jessie’s heart. She was a scout and it was her duty to be polite and proper in most interactions. Over the past weeks with Hotei’s death, the grey woman had found it increasingly heart to decipher when it was time to be business-like and when it was alright to be personal. She let a hesitant half-smile to show on her face, just to show Iopah that she appreciated the sentiment. However, Jessie’s smile faded once she heard the alpha begin to speak. While Jessie could understand where Iopah was coming from, it still hadn’t saved the woman from heartache in the past. Perhaps she would be doing the creamy woman a favor by helping her wake up to reality. Drestig had been kind enough to do so for her and it would save the other woman from getting into shit with her family if she ever went missing. When it seemed like the other woman was through speaking, Jessie let silence pass between them for a few moments before she finally spoke. Lips parting, her words flowed smoothly, ”I’m not saying that you shouldn’t care. Each disappearance should be a reminder of how disloyal members can be…for however long you reign, keep in mind wolves will leave. But every time they do, you can’t just drop everything to go looking for them. If everything went well since the last time I saw you, then you have children and you have a husband.” To steady her constant outpour of words, Jessie closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. It was hard to talk about this, especially with Hotei on her mind. Pushing away her personal feelings on the matter, Jessie continued, ”You never know if something will happen to you on your way for justice or if something will happen to your family while you are gone. You could return and they could be gone and it would be because you took the time to find the ones that might have abandoned you…” She went silent then, flashing of her dead husband flashing behind her orbs. She had gone to sleep that evening expecting to find her lover asleep next to her when she woke up…and then when she did, she had awoken to find him missing…and then found him crushed by a damn tree. The fates were cruel and just another reminder of how others need to cherish what they have because they never know when it might be taken away from them. Jessie Tainn

feainne-stock & Dawnthieves.de

This was not a gambol. This was not a mere game of a discussion. When Jessie's smile fell away she waited with the patience the conversation, and the other woman, deserved. Opinions were such intangible and intrinsic things, she would never take offense with another for having a different opinion. There were very few wolves that saw eye-to-eye with her anyways.

The assumption that every disappearance was an abandonment did not rest easy with her. Iopah did what she could to stifle her disagreement - a quiet sigh left her lips to mix in with the hush of the falling rain. It seemed like such an inadequate solution to the problem and she listened with equal parts disappointment and frustration. She was never going to be able to rationalize vanished wolves that way, even despite the overwhelming proof in Jessie's favor, there were flaws in that theory. But that was Jessie's opinion and, while she did not share it, she would not insult the other woman for it.

"How do you deal with never knowing?" How many wolves from Jessie's past had a large question mark over them? The idea still worried at her, but Iopah couldn't deny the reasoning behind it. Once -many years ago- she had been the one to leave, and her home had been destroyed without her. "I don't care about justice or revenge." Intangible goals were pointless anyways. "But doesn't it... doesn't it bother you to not know what happens to family?"

She could appreciate her conversations with Iopah. The other woman did not simple babble unintelligent things and thought about her responses. Jessie could certainly understand and accept that. To her first question, Jessie simply shrugged. There was no simple answer to her question. Over time, after several losses, it was easy to imagine a life where someone leaving was as common as the blink of an eye. Silence passed between them again, but Iopah was quick to come back with another question. Unfortunately, for the Pine’s alpha, the question sent Jessie into hysterics. She cackled uncharacteristically and she was quickly out of breath. Trying to control herself, Jessie inhaled sharply and set her gaze on her friend. ”Iopah! I do not mean to be rude,” Jessie started before continuing, ”but family? Family isn’t just blood it’s loyalty, it’s commitment, it is love…and that love…hah, that love is whichever God you believe in, if that’s what you believe in! Family is those who die for you or die with you there.” She cut herself sort, the emotion clear in her voice. She closed her eyes for a moment, a vision of Hotei passing over them. Hotei… She looked towards Iopah, a frown obvious on her lips. Her lips parted again, ”I must apologize, Iopah…I do not know what came over me. I just recently lost my husband…so I ask your forgiveness for my bitterness.” The gray woman made herself comfortable, her attention on the other woman. Hopefully, Jessie hadn’t done too much damage with her words and they would be able to repair things if she had broken anything. Jessie Tainn

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