Spectral Woods Broken

Perhaps she was dying. That was why she couldn’t breathe. Hotei was taking her life from the beyond so that they would be able to live together once more. There was the instinct in her soul that she didn’t want to die and she fought the panic. Wide emerald eyes at last found Drestig, her jaws parting in an effort to ask for help but all that came out was more gasps and wheezes. Her claws dug deeper into the earth trying to find more control and needing to feel grounded. Whatever was happening to her hurt and she hated it. Dry sobs continued to escape her mouth and before she realized it she had lunged for Drestig, needing to grasp onto something and needing that comfort. Her body shook uncontrollably, pressing her head deeper into the dark man’s chest as his words processed in her mind. No, it wasn’t helping, but there was no one Jessie could help anymore. Hotei was dead and he was never going to be by her side ever again. With her mind now focused on Drestig, her breath became shallow, an almost eerie calm, but she felt like she was in another place.

Her brain pulsed hard against her head, blurring her vision considerably and every once and awhile another spasm would run through her body. The gray woman’s heart was finally slowing down and she felt she could breathe again. However, when a blurry dark form came into her vision, she turned her head away, towards Drestig’s chest and closed her eyes. The voice that accompanied the body made Jessie’s heart bleed even more. Triell would be devastated, no doubt. Hotei had done his best to get close to Triell since he had joined and Jessie had right to believe that they had formed the brotherly bond Hotei had yearned for.

Tearing her body away from Drestig, Jessie’s dead emerald eyes fell on her leader, not daring to meet his eyes, which were similar to Hotei’s. She walked stiffly towards him, her legs twitching with every step. As she grew nearer, her body once again shrunk down to the muddy ground until her belly was touching it once again. A heartbreaking whine escaped her muzzle as butted her head against Triell’s leg lightly. Perhaps, more than anyone else, she wanted reassurances from him that they would get through this. He had been there for everyone else’s death and for that Jessie felt the strange bond that death brought to others. With utmost hesitation, the gray dame lifted her gaze to see the alpha’s reaction to his brother’s body.

For a moment he was sure he had gotten through, he could have sworn her eyes finally saw him, and her jaws parted to speak. But no words fell from them, only more gasps, and she seemed to fade back into her panic as she continued to struggle for air. This couldn't continue; She'll suffocate! But what could he do, what could he do but watch? Frantically helpless, he pulled back, lifting himself out of the mud to sit back up, not knowing what else to do, feeling like he had tried everything and come out completely useless. Barely had he straighten up though, before she suddenly moved, throwing herself against him with such force that he first thought she was attacking. He had no time to consider whether to defend himself or not, let alone actually do anything though, before she was pressed against him, head buried in the silvery hairs. Every shake of her body resonated through him, and he sat frozen stiff, shocked by the sudden physical contact and afraid to move even an inch and somehow disturb her.

Though no tears wetted his chest, there was no doubt in his mind that she was crying, and pain tore through him with every sob, old wounds ripped back open by new ones, born from the loss of a friend, and the deep ache of seeing another suffer; Why? Why us?! WHY did this have to happen?! Finally he lowered his head, resting it over hers in a feeble attempt at comfort, a light, crooning sound rumbling in his chest; What have we done to deserve all this pain?! A deep voice, sounding blurred and distant, cut into the dark scout's thoughts. Slowly he lifted his head, turning to look over his shoulder at the black form approaching them; "Triell..?" His voice was hoarse, eyes stinging as he realized he would have to relay the happened to Hotei's brother. Turning back to look down at Jessie, he slid his tongue along his dried out lips, struggling to find a way to say what needed to be said. Then, in another sudden motion, the grey woman tore herself away from him, stumbling through the rubble towards their leader. He felt like a real, physical connection had been shattered, a limb or vital organ ripped from his body, and he gasped, dizziness shaking through him so he had to shut his eyes for a moment.

Opening them again, the world had righted itself, but he still felt wounded, out of balance. Getting to his feet, he turned and staggered after Jessie, no more grace in his steps than had been in hers. He found her lying at Triell's feet, and stopped next to the muddy form, head hanging next to her ear, a small, concerned noise escaping him. Then he glanced up, meeting Triell's eyes with deep, dark sorrow in his gaze; "Triell, I... I'm sorry." He whispered. Looking back down, he noticed Jessie had opened her eyes to look up, waiting for the reaction of her love's brother. The scout whined again, lightly touching his muzzle to a point between her ears, eyes fixed on her; She's my responsibility. I promised!

Word count: 532

"Speech" Thoughts

WHEN YOUR DREAMS ALL FAIL,

AND THE ONES WE HAIL,

Drestig Avalon

ARE THE WORST OF ALL,

AND THE BLOOD'S RUN STALE.

@Jessie @Drestig

My heart is broken

Chest shoved forcefully against a small branch, splintering it, as he fought against the next, weaving this way and that. Drestig seemed to be comforting Jessie, calming her. Why, Triell had never intentially knew of the pairs relationship, the more time they were together, their scents mingled he realized Jessie had become more than a scout, a loyal  member, she had become a sister in heart. No, it couldn't be. Brain calculated what it all meant, but he only denied it. They just couldn't help him, and maybe since he was here...

Jessie seemed so little, slinking over to him, her coat a mess of earth. When she did not meet his gaze franticly his eyes searched for what he needed, coming to rest on the broken body of his brother. If Jessie was not below him, he would have went to the tree and demanded it to move with all his might. There he stood slack jawed, knowing there was no life in the body that had held his brother. There was no way to fix this, and make it right. Why there was coldness to the air tinged with rain, he only felt the warmth of Jessie pressed against his leg. What did he say? Nothing was ever okay. Why he registered Drestig had spoken, it was their mournful sounds that tugged at him, caused his face to twitch to look upon them. Ever slowly, he brought his head down, peering into her emerald gaze. She should have had him longer. Why had the world thought that was wrong? This wasn't the way things should be. Triell pressed his head to Jessie's cheek, giving it a lick of sorts before pulling back.  "Thank you Jessie, I'm sure without you I would not have gotten my brother back at all." He rested his neck over hers, in a wolf hug. Hotei had helped the Bend feel like a stable home after so many of their losses. His quiet yet strong presence had been so assuring through the madness of monsters. The fact he wouldn't be around any more would be another deep wound.

are you with me through it all?

She felt cold, like an integral part of her being had been stolen away from her. Her throat was pulsing and dry, brain beating against her skull. She met Triell’s gaze only pain visible in her emerald orbs. Was it possible to be alive but dead? He was composed on the outside and Jessie heart ached uncontrollably at his words. She pressed her head into his neck fur and inhaled, another dry sob escaping her throat as the familiar Tainn scent entered her nostrils. Her muzzle pressed against his ear and her words were broken and soft so that only he could hear, “He loved you and was so proud of you.” And I loved him with every twisted part of my being. He pulled away from her and distantly she felt Drestig’s presence near her.

It was oddly calming to have him near and Jessie found herself forcing herself up to be close to him again. Her small head was turned towards the dead body of Hotei and her sad eyes were still trained on his broken body. She felt disgusting but she couldn’t bring herself to tear herself away from him. This would be the last time she would be able to see his scarred, burnt body. Her lips trembled, thinking now of how every time she would need stability, she wouldn’t be able to curl up in his chest and breathe. She sighed shakily, her tearing her gaze towards Drestig’s and shaking her head. I can’t leave him alone. She wasn’t strong enough to tear herself away. Her plea was silent but she dearly hoped he got the message.

Looking up at his burly leader's face, the first thing he saw was denial. Then, he seemed to notice what lay beyond the two wolves huddled at his feet, and his expression changed. Drestig whined again, a low, deep, sympathetic sound, watching as the alpha's deep orange eyes met Jessie's. The bystander looked away, leaving them to share this moment of pain in private. Hotei had been his brother, her lover; But he was my... Friend. It couldn't compare. All he could do now was honor his comrade's last wishes, look out for the grey scout and the pack.

When he looked back at the two, they were hugging tightly, each with a muzzle pressed to the other's ear, and the older man considered pulling further away; Now that Triell was here, his part was done. But then the Tainn's released each other and suddenly Jessie was back on her feet, leaning against him once more. His reaction was instinctive, taking over where their alpha had left off, pressing his neck down over hers in a comforting manner. But he noticed that her head craned, eyes returning to the lifeless form behind them, and he released her, trying to catch her eyes; There's no use looking at that. He was gone, and watching his crushed body wouldn't serve her any good. He wanted to take her away, bring her back to the communal den and get her to sleep, but when he saw the look of utter despair in her dark eyes, he knew that it wouldn't happen.

His reply to her shaking head was a slow nod, mouth tightened into a determined line. Then he turned to Triell, hoping to find the male not quite as crippled by sorrow. He would need help. "We should bury him." The ebony scout said, voice hoarse and low like before, but determined. He cast a glance back over his shoulder, then looked to meet the other man's eyes; "There's no moving that tree, but if we can dig out some of the mud..." He had to pause and swallow, fighting hard not to look back at Jessie as he continued: "We might be able to make grave." He didn't like the idea of trying to move the body, even if they were able to loosen enough dirt to get him free. The sight of Silver's butchered remains was still burned into his mind, he didn't want Jessie to have a similar one; At least here moth of the damage is covered by the wood...

Drestig turned around slowly, touching his muzzle to the muddy dame's cheek, speaking softly: "Come, say goodbye." Then he started walking back over to the fallen giants, to dig out a last resting place for the burned Tainn.

Word count: 460

"Speech" Thoughts

WHEN YOUR DREAMS ALL FAIL,

AND THE ONES WE HAIL,

Drestig Avalon

ARE THE WORST OF ALL,

AND THE BLOOD'S RUN STALE.

@Jessie Lightning I'll let you decide to reply/and or archive. @Drestig

My heart is broken

Eyes were no longer dry as her words brought a dim smile to his face. Triell had always longed to know such things, and it did his heart could to hear it so. Aware of Drestig's presence, it was to him Jessie went. It first sparked question, but they were close too after all. Scouts of the Bend. Knowing Jessie, it was good to see she had a bond with Drestig. He after all had stuck with them through thick and thin, and was another wolf Triell looked upon as family now.

Silently, he remained where he stood, looking also on the lifeless form of his beloved brother. He didn't want to leave him this way either. He caught the look given by the other dark man, and nodded his agreement. He didn't trust himself to speak, and needed to focus on giving his brother a final resting place. He went with them to Hotei's side, and placed his nose to his cheek in a final good bye. Only after Jessie had in turn, did he begin to dig away at the cold ground.

are you with me through it all?

They spoke of a burial and Jessie did not have enough energy to protest. She heard Drestig speak in her ear, but it was muffled by the intense static in her ear. She watched immobile as Triell and Drestig moved towards Hotei’s body. No… It was time to say goodbye. Jessie didn’t move, but her body did, towards the dead body of her lover. Triell communicated his first farewell and then it was her turn, her last turn. She pressed one final kiss to his cold cheek, her emerald eyes gazing down at him, broken. They touched foreheads. I will never forget you. You will always be mine, Hotei, Burn, Kasai…whoever you decide yourself to be. And then as soon as the connection was made, she broke it. A sob threatened to choke her and she continued to swallow it. The grey Scout stepped away, watching as Triell and Drestig did their best to bury her love. She would remember this moment for the rest of her life and would visit this location multiple times in her life to come. She wasn’t sure if they couldn’t bear to look upon Hotei’s lifeless form any longer or if they were doing it for her benefit, but they made haste to give him a proper burial. Before she knew it, she was back in the pack den, laying down and staring off into space. In closing her eyes, Jessie found comfort in nothingness and fell back into a pit of blackness she had become accustomed to going to. Jessie Tainn

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