Round Stone Crest Can you feel my heart again

It had been worth uttering, but it wasn't enough. How could it be? He had allowed what was most precious to them both to be torn from them, by the ice and the dark and the unknown, by bitterness and fear and misunderstanding. The shade buried his muzzle deeper into the crook of her neck, pinched his eyes more tightly shut. He felt as though he could hide from all of it if only he was close enough to her, and was desperate enough to genuinely try. Simple warmth shared between them helped to ease some of the pain, but the subtle hints she tried to hold back of the grief that was taking its physical toll upon her would not allow him to feel true comfort. Maybe, just maybe, his presence could be a contentment to her despite the rest. How dearly he hoped it to be true.

If she had needed the entirety of the night to mourn all that had been lost, he would have given it to her. It was enough to have her beside him, to feel her warmth and the rise and fall of her breath, even as it hitched. His own mind he attempted to clear, to focus on the hushed sounds trapped within the small confines of the den and the pressure of her frame against his. Sleep might have taken him if he didn't feel the need to be alert and at the ready should she lift her voice again, should she need him for any slight thing. Forcibly emptied, he merely appreciated this small slice of now for all that it was worth. The one positive remaining in a viciously unending storm of wrong.

When she stilled, he could nearly feel the subtle tranquility that was budding within her, and while he did not move, his pale eyes blearily opened to gaze upon the dark dirt floor beyond her. Then, something within her energy picked up, and a sense of impending infected him. He felt her touch and his gaze lifted along with his ears, openly searching for what it was that was coming next. Thankfully, she did not leave him waiting for too long, but still every word further that failed to frame an explanation built the suspense within him. It was her own emotion that he was feeding off of, providing a clarity that she was veering toward something important, and he put effort into remaining calm in hopes of easing her way.

Then it was out, and he didn't understand. The confusion was evident within his gaze, but she wasn't looking at him. Her sunshine eyes were setting, overtaken by tearful cloudcover. Buying time, he reached across the miniscule distance and pressed his cheek to hers, then the tip of his muzzle, then he pressed his forehead against her ruff. Words were failing him, and he could only think of small attempts to express physically how he felt. Never before had he been so utterly flooded with gratitude for another wolf, and her confession was that final confidence that he needed to hear. He was enough. Through all of his failures, despite all of the pain, no matter what dreams he could not fulfill, here was his success; he was enough for her, for this amazing, resilient, valiant woman.

"Raela..." His nose traced its way along her jaw and back again, so that he may lean against her cheek once more. "If that's all I ever achieve, it'll be more than I could have ever hoped for."

What had always been important to him still was, but she overshadowed it completely. It mattered most that she be happy, and he knew then that this was his fate; her desires would always dictate his choices.

"You are all that I ask for."

All at once her breathing switched from heavy to shallow. She was quaking on the inside; practically tingling at any spot that touched him. She was like a fawn hiding in the spring grass; hoping desperately that the threat would pass by without notice. The seconds had slowed to a crawl, and it was painful. She was waiting for what could have been the killing blow; some sort of rejection or brush off, or maybe feigned ignorance. He was being so quiet. Why was he being so quiet? Air barely reached into her lungs; too frightened to expand her ribcage fully. Then, slowly, he drew nearer. Raela's eyes stayed fixed in place; looking at the ground but seeing only his peripheral movement through the tears. His fur melted into her face and she exhaled, still drowning in this endless moment. That was... good? 

He was moving; sliding his nose through her fur and back to her neck. Still, no answer. Then he moved down; pushing into her neck like she had so many times before; seeking relief from the world. What is it? Her mind cried; thankful for the gestures but wholly terrified all the same. She breathed again; practically burning up with anticipation. It was coming. “Raela...” Oh god. Her bleary eyes dared finally to shift; to seek him out as his nose moved along her face. They closed instinctively as the man's ebony crown came to rest beside her own. "If that's all I ever achieve, it'll be more than I could have ever hoped for." The weight was lifted from her chest, and everything seemed to spin. If Raela had thought time slow before; now it nearly stopped. Was any of this even real? Sluggishly, his mouth parted again; his low voice vibrating between their joined frames. Precious syllables fell right into place. "You are all that I ask for." Her eyes pinched shut and she pressed even tighter against his skull. 

The tears streamed away in response; but they no longer contained any hurt. There was not a painful part of her body now; not even the raw tips of her frozen ears. Those were petty, earthly things and nothing in comparison to the life-giving joy in her core. She could have weighed nothing at all just then; could have only been held to the den floor by his embrace, and that would have been just fine. This glee was something the smaller woman hadn't felt in a long, long time – perhaps never. A smile curved her lips upward and she chuffed in a half-laugh. He didn't just accept her words; he returned them. Her creamy muzzle slid gingerly back and forth; caressing his face and perhaps getting some of her tears in his fur. Her tremulous voice rose again; now unafraid of how broken it sounded. "That's the best thing anyone's ever said to me," she ended in a whisper; expression swiftly returning to a closed grin. Gent was truly the best thing that could have happened to her, and it was all so real now. She loved him. 

            

The effect his words had over were vibrantly evident, and he reveled in it. They touched her, gave her relief, made her so happy. His tail thudded against the den wall behind him in his own thrill. That he could do so much for her so simply elated him, and he knew that he wouldn't want to pull away from her warmth for a long time now. Hooking his muzzle against the crook of her neck once more he brought her tightly to him, shifting briefly into utter comfort before his muscles slackened altogether, finally relaxed.

There was still so much to worry about, so much to discuss and so much to act upon, but for once he was able to push it all for his mind. For once, he was able to breathe, to rest, to simply enjoy something. Most importantly of all, he was able to close his eyes knowing that he had done something right. A beacon of light amongst a flood of shadow-casting wrongs. So thoroughly alleviated, he could help but chuckle breathlessly at her final words, a sound of sheer happiness.

This was it, this is what he would protect above all else, for this is what he would build his future upon.

Distantly she felt the swaying of his plume-like tail, and the slight movement of his face as it was swept up into a grin. A grin that laughed with her for joy and joy alone. She accepted his departure from the side of her face; suddenly feeling the winter cold all the more in its absence. It was always cold without him. The great dark mammoth pulled her in closer, and Raela was all too happy to accept the gesture. She was so exhausted now, and the supreme security and warmth of his presence sapped the life out of her body. There was nothing to fear. Everything was alright. When had she ever felt that feeling? It didn't matter. 

She reached out for the space beneath his neck; burying herself in his long winter coat and laying a paw over his own. His chest was cozy like always, except now it was so much better. Her grin remained as she nuzzled into the long guard hairs. A deep sigh heaved her chest and puffed out in silver swirls between their feet. She felt his tension had already eased, and so did her own. This was happiness. This was all that she had wanted all alone. The fatigue set in; dulling every one of her limbs and muscles. It was time for sleep, and there was no where better to be. It could snow and blizzard all it wanted outside. Raela was happy.

~ Fade ~