Broken Timber Pines stay bright to keep us

For @Arion only.
Dated 3/28, sunset.

She couldn't find her fire. It was gone, just like @Koda, just like @Bracken, just like the rest who had so briefly been in her life only to disappear without a trace. The girl's heart had never been so heavy, so difficult to carry, and she feared she might not be able to fix it. She had tried, after all, hadn't she? She'd always believed that she and Bracken were an indomitable team, but now she had lost her little sister, hurt her mother and disappointed them all by coming back empty pawed. Instead of helping, she had only caused more hurt, and with all those missing pieces seemingly forever out of play, she didn't know how to put that picture-perfect family back together.

With all of the guilt and self doubt plaguing her, Ember had become a morose creature that often simply sought a place to lay, out of the way and solitary. This evening, she had sought her favorite place from which to watch the sun sink low into whatever abyss lay beyond the horizon. The trees that had been so brutally toppled at one point crisscrossed over top of each other, creating a ladder of heights that nimble paws could traverse. Perched atop them all, she lay draped over the bloodred bark, creamy cheek pressed against the rough of it as her yellow eyes gazed blankly upon the sky.

What was she going to do now, with nothing but black coals left inside?

@Ember <3!

The scent of the flame had returned; however, her shadow remained absent. Arion’s worry remained — they were always together, it was troubling that Ember had returned without her sister.

What was even more troubling was that the smudge had seen little of his friend since her return. She was isolating herself; lurking in the shadows, just out of reach of her packmates. He had acted similarly when both his father and mother had disappeared, allowing his sorrow to consume him. With Ember’s father also absent R could only imagine how his friend was feeling… he needed to seek her out. He could not allow the flame to go out.

Following her freshest trail relief washed over the lanky smudge as he spotted her pale body perched lazily atop a handful of trees that had toppled over, using each other as support. How had he not discovered this place before? He wondered how many other secret spots Ember had… a topic for another day…

Slowly the boy climbed up the trees to join his friend, his blue gaze soft as he studied her sullen expression. Swallowing hard he lowered himself onto the branch below her, his eyes now focused on the sunset before them. He remained quiet, unsure of what to say or how to offer his condolences to the normally spunky girl. She had obviously sought out this place to be alone with her thoughts; he did not want to disturb them unless she wanted it.

(This post was last modified: Apr 04, 2016, 10:51 PM by Arion.)

There is a deer that was killed by a lynx nearby. +10 Health

As she witnessed the burning death of the sun, her mind began to clear and left behind a numb nothing. Rather than obsessing over the negativity that was so heavily weighing her down, she was able to escape into simply being there. It was simultaneously nice and devastating, and she felt a dual stirring of relief and resurgence of guilt when she heard Arion picking his way to her from below.

Ember did not budge a muscle, making it seem as though she were not even aware of his presence. Truly, she did not have the energy to respond forthwith. It was only eventually, after he had settled just under her and the silence took over once more that her mind began to grasp for words to say. Because they were there, so many that she needed to share with him, from questions to explanations to apologies.

With the softest of sighs she lifted her head, rolling from her side onto her stomach and lining her forelimbs up perfectly parallel next to each other. She stared down at her paws, muddy from the day's walking.

"... I'm sorry," she finally decided to be first, without shifting her gaze. There was a pause, the girl clearly unsure of how appropriate the boy might find her words to be. "I never said it before because I... I guess I never really understood what it was truly like for you and @Nalda. I knew it was bad, but I thought... I thought if we could stay happy, if I didn't draw attention to it, that that would be best."

Was that where she and @Bracken had gone wrong? Focusing on what was missing instead of trying to 'stay happy'? Ember's nose wriggled with sniffle as the emotions began to surface once more.

"I'm sorry, Arion. I'm sorry they're gone, and I'm sorry that I ignored it."

(This post was last modified: May 14, 2016, 04:28 PM by Ember.)

>.> angry at myself for making you wait so long i'm so sorry <3

At first he considered leaving the pale girl to her thoughts as it appeared that she did not want to be bothered. Why else would she have gone so far out of the way not to be seen? With his paws swinging below him Arion was weighing his options when he heard Ember shift on her long; his sea-green eyes glanced up at her curiously, but no words fell from his tongue. If it was peace and quiet the girl wanted, he did not want to disturb it.

However, what came next, took the smudge by surprise. He blinked, dumbfounded. What could she be sorry for? The boy searched his memory for something — anything — that his friend had done to warrant an apology. But nothing came to mind. Silent, he observed the girl as an explanation dripped off her tongue. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, he shifted on his branch, his gaze averting away from his friend. Arion did not like addressing his absent father or his disappearing mother; like Ember, he chose to ignore it (most of the time). Inkheart was nothing but a glimmer of a memory; Arion seldom allowed his thoughts to linger on him mainly because he did not want to. Zia’s absences, however, bothered him a little more. The smudge often worried that his mother still hoped that her inky mate would return, even though it had almost been a year since he had left the Pines behind. His mother was all he had left — he could not lose her as well.

“I-I…” he stopped, the words hitching in his throat as he struggled to find the right words. “It’s okay. I’m okay.” And he was… wasn’t he? “I don’t know… I’ve sort of gotten used to it, I guess,” he added, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. “Which isn’t good, but it’s not bad. I’ve grown to like being alone, and when I don’t want to be I have you guys…” He chewed on his lower lip nervously as he paused, his teal gaze focused on the spot where the sun had disappeared. “I’m sorry.”

dude i'm horrible at timely responses, no worries
assuming that by now they would have realised they've both met sahalie through just regular chit chat, let me know if you want that changed tho

He was... okay? Ember's buttercup eyes wandered downward to watch his dark crown as he continued, brows pinched together ever so slightly out of confusion. How could he be okay? This wasn't okay, none of it was. Not his father leaving or his mother constantly wandering away, not her dad disappearing and Bracken refusing to come home, not Nalda's father running away; none of it was acceptable. Endurable, yes, but not okay. The way he explained it sounded more than getting better, he had just gotten numb. That scared her.

Ember shifted some more, utterly uncomfortable but not because he was here. These were things she wanted to talk about, needed to, but she didn't know how and what if she made things worse by opening her big mouth? For once, the girl was overly concerned with thinking before speaking. Even her own mind was precarious territory, however.

"It feels like... it's starting to seem like this is just, what happens. I mean, do you remember @Cernan or @Neha mentioning their dad? Or @Sahalie? Maybe..." her voice drifted, eyes lifting to the sky as her throat began to feel too small for words again. "Maybe dads always leave."

But then, why would their mothers be so sad? Why did they spend so much time looking? Did they just not want to accept it, not their mate? Or did this pack really have that horrible of luck? Maybe they were cursed.

Ember looked back down at her paws, studying them as closely as if she'd never seen them before as she gathered the question to ask one more question.

"Yer... yer a boy. Yer not gonna leave us, are you?"

(This post was last modified: Jun 19, 2016, 08:53 PM by Ember.)

works for me! <3 @Ember

It seemed as though his answer did not sit well with his pale friend. She was confused by it, perplexed by how nonchalant he was about the situation. He had expected as much. Arion had more experience with the whole ‘absent father’ thing than Ember did. His memories of Inkheart were very limited — almost nonexistent — so he did not miss him as much as he should. His mother, of course, still pined after him, despite Arion’s attempts at getting her to put the shadow behind her. It was frustrating, and he was positive that he was the reason why she was disappearing so frequently. She still believed that he would return if she found him, but Arion knew better. The dark knight was not lurking around the forests nearby, or in any of the neighbouring territories. He had fled both the Lore and his family and he would not be returning. Arion was certain of that.

Her voice interrupted his thoughts once more, almost panicked as she began to question whether dads abandoning their families was just the way things were. It was true, though — he did not recall the other puppies they had encountered mentioning their fathers. There could be another reason for that — perhaps they felt as though family wasn’t an appropriate topic of discussion — but it still raised some questions. “Maybe we’re just unlucky,” he responded, unknowingly voicing the thoughts of his friend. The frown that cut across his face deepened as he focused his attention on the dark sky before them. Arion wasn’t good at handling his feelings, or the feelings of others.

Her question took him by surprise, his ears falling back as he shuffled his forepaws uncomfortably. “I wouldn’t leave you guys,” he started, his brows knitted together, “not ever. I promise.” And he meant it. Regardless of his absent father and his wandering mother, the twins and Nalda were family. He would not follow the same path as his parents. “You can’t leave us either, okay Em?” He couldn’t imagine life in Broken Timber Pines without the pale girl.

She felt a great sense of relief when @Arion answered her with a negative, even swearing to her that he wouldn't follow the example set for him by all the other males. Even this, Ember wasn't sure what to make of; she didn't realize it was something she'd been so nervous about. In a way, this talking was helping, but things still felt so uneasy and there were no answers as to how to move forward. Ember craved some kind of comfort, but didn't know where to find it. Maybe it couldn't come from others. Maybe she had to make it for herself.

The girl raised herself into a crouch, before tentatively reaching a paw down to Arion's branch. She was highly adept at scaling the makeshift scaffolding by now, but that was alone; she wasn't sure how different her friend's weight would make things. Carefully, she made her way onto his level, before tucking her limbs and laying down once more. Positioned directly in front of and facing him, she was able to touch her nose to his cheek before laying her head upon his forelimbs.

"Okay," she answered, to that question he had asked of her. Realizing that after her little stunt, she couldn't expect the others to implicitly trust that she would stay. It's how it would be, though. Even for @Bracken, she would not be able to bring herself to leave her mother and her friends and her pack again. Leaving, even with the best intentions, only ever made anything worse. She'd learned that lesson now.

"I just wish my sister would come back," she whispered suddenly. "I was supposed to take care of her, and now she's out there alone."

The smudge was determined to uphold his promises. He did not want to lie to the pale Reiner. They had already lost so much, he could not lose her either. Despite the different blood running through their veins, they were family. He had grown up alongside her since birth and would do anything for her and her sister (wherever she was). Seeing her hurt and confused made him hurt. She did not deserve to feel such pain. He watched her, silently, as she maneuvered down the branches to sit beside him.

Once her chin was resting above his forepaws his anxiety lessened, sea green eyes focusing on her pale crown as he spoke up once more. “She’ll come back,” he responded in an attempt to reassure his friend. “You’re sister is tough… I’m sure she’s just exploring and when she comes back she’ll boast about all the cool things she saw.” Part of him was envious, for he wished that he could see everything that Bracken was on her excursion away from the Pines. “Tomorrow… do you want to go look for her?” He suggested in hopes of making her feel better. Arion wanted to be there for his friend just as she tried to be there for him.

She'll come back, he said. How many times had she been told that one of their many missing would return? It never happened. Yet Arion had not ever been the one to tell her such things, and had not before given her false hope. To hear it come from his mouth, even if he had no way of knowing the future and the statement would do nothing to change the odds, made her feel a bit better.

The idea of Bracken enjoying herself was bittersweet, but so much more a warmer thought than what she knew the girl was actually going through. Ember had experienced it first hand, and to not have a pack to come home to was trialling. To do it alone? The thought scared her, so she clung to that alternate reality that couldn't be true. She imagined Bracken finding @Koda and the two of them happily marching back to the Pines.

The image fell apart when Arion asked her a question. It was such a sweet thing to offer, but it made her quake inside. Shuffling closer, she hid her face in his chest.

"No," she whispered. Searching only lost you more. Ember would not have R be the next to disappear. "I won't make the same mistake. I'm staying home."

It killed her to vocalize this giving up on her sister, her dearest of friends, but she could not again risk destroying the pack and her mother further.

(This post was last modified: Aug 03, 2016, 03:24 PM by Ember.)