White Fir Notch Come break me down

OOC: For @Merys - backdated to 3/8.

3/8/2016
Weather:
34° F, 1° C
Light snow
10:46 AM

It had finally happened. In the early morning hours the Alphess had risen from sleep feeling rather normal; and it was with overwhelming excitement and perhaps even terror that she realized what that meant. The lust was gone, taking with it her suffocating scent, and even her moodiness. These clues on their own could have told any onlooker what was going on, but as if they were not enough, the matriarch's perfume had taken another different path. She recognized the smell, and at first it had brought her saddened memories of Minka, and even the faintest recollection of her own mother – with far less reverence. 

@Gent had shared in her elation himself for much of the morning; but the celebrating parents-to-be could not linger at each other's sides all day. There was much work to be done in their new home, and high on Raela's list was checking in on their newer members. @Moraxia had already been visited, and the younger woman was doing relatively well under Gent and @Sylva's care. She was glad to see the yearling finding purpose among them. How long had it been since the pack had had a dedicated medic after all? Her paws traced a path through the lingering inch or two of snow; golden eyes drifting over every mountain ledge and majestic fir tree. Soon their children would play here; grow up safe and loved in the greatest of playgrounds. There were rocky hills to climb and forests to hide in; rivers and creeks in which to swim and chase fish – she could  not have been happier with it. 

As much as those thoughts threatened to consume her, Raela was preoccupied with the scent of their newest addition; the man she had so hastily snapped at during their fight with the grizzly. The Queen still felt remorse in her gut for how she knew she must have come across. She hardly knew him, and now their first activity as a pack had been tainted by urgency. His matriarch's true personality was nothing like what he'd seen, and she simply had to remedy that. Among other things, she still needed to check in with him; to see where he desired to fit in their newly founded group. A few days had passed; allowing everyone to settle back down from the harrowing experience, and begin to learn the lay of the land. Hopefully the man had not begun to think her inattentive in that time. 

As soon as his form appeared between the trees, the smaller woman felt the anxiety cling to her rib cage. She was terrified that this would go poorly, but it undoubtedly would if she waited any longer to speak with him. Somehow, his name worked its way into the air. "Merys?" She greeted, her voice soft and curious. The Alphess swished her tail side to side, to reaffirm her good intentions as she moved forward. Tiny snowflakes clung stubbornly to her back and face; as far as the world was concerned, it was still very much winter. 

(This post was last modified: Apr 05, 2016, 08:18 AM by Raela.)

            

"Merys?"

When the brown male turned his gaze away from his original fixation and was surprised to find himself in the company of Raela, the alpha female of White Fir Notch. He mentally furrowed his brow at the female. The bear attack was still fresh in his mind, and fresher still every time he saw this wolf. The foolish plan that he had been set to partake in the first day on joining this pack, her orders. It had all seemed like too much that day: the trek with strangers, the chasing of the bear, the mindless snapping, and finally, the immature attempt at an attack resulting in injury of one of the (very) few pack members. He had not been impressed by much of anything that day. 

Much of his bitterness towards the situation had simmered down since then, as he had gladly kept to himself for a few days afterwards. Things had been different in his old pack. He had been a wolf of stature, of rank. A respected one, a trusted one. Here, to these leaders, he was just a nomad with no experience and in need of their all-knowing guidance. His gaze lingered and he studied the female in front of him. He considered the opposite, in that her and her mate were just silly leaders who knew nothing of how to lead.. but how could he know that? He, too, knew nothing of them. To someone, they meant something. They would have to start meaning something to him soon, too, if he planned on making this stay worthwhile. He had taken a leap of faith when he met the young female, Jynx, and had hoped for mutual benefit with a touch of companionship. He had not seen any of it yet. He wished to stay to himself, but he knew that that wouldn't work to get what he wanted. 

He lowered his head in a nod and a greeting, letting his ears flop lazily to the side. "My queen," he started, his low voice quiet through the falling flakes. "What can I do for you?"

founding member | 2016

OOC: Sorry for how long this took!

“My Queen?” She could not say that she had been expecting that formal greeting, but then again she just about never expected it anyway. That she was in charge was old news, but that didn't mean she felt right being referred to as a despot. An ear flicked back unassuredly as she regarded him. What could he do for her? That was not the question now, was it. Raela was glad at least to see that he was being civil; there was no snarkiness or bitter tone to his speech, and so she was able to pull a polite smile onto her maw. The Alphess returned his respectful gesture, dipping her skull and padding forward to close the distance between them.

Internally she was still quite uneasy. "I just wanted to see how you were doing," she started, looking up at the larger man. "I.. like to check in with everyone." The woman explained, feeling the delicate snowflakes some to rest on her fur. She had noticed the way the man had kept himself apart from the others; including herself. She could understand it, for sure, but that didn't mean it was what she wanted. The pack needed unity to be strong, but that camaraderie would come with time – if @Merys was willing to socialize a little with the others, at least. She cocked her ears forward gently; ready for whatever response their newest recruit would have. 

(This post was last modified: Apr 14, 2016, 01:46 PM by Raela.)

            

Merys watched curiously as the wolf flicked her ears at his comment to her rank. Was that.. irritation? He made a mental note to keep it on file, suppressing a childish smile. It wasn't meant to be disrespectful -- endemic actually, of his old pack -- but, if you wanted to sit at the top, then you were a totalitarian. He was glad that she had caught him in a mellow mood; it would make this interaction take less effort on his part. She moved towards him, and he made his feet stay still. He didn't want to be near her. Couldn't she just give him a job so he could go do it and be left alone? In an ideal world, he thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Merys had sought out companionship of a pack, but he wanted it to be on his own terms, not theirs. God, was that so much to ask?

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. I..like to check in with everyone."

He wanted to snort at her, but accepted instead a set of raised eyebrows, showing some mix of surprise and doubt. That was the diplomatic way of saying she just wanted to keep tabs on what the new wolf was doing, making sure he wasn't getting himself into trouble she would later have to fix. He understood her intentions, and they were warranted, but it did not mean they were welcome. He took a breath, glanced at the ground as he composed his internal thoughts into acceptable external ones, then rose his gaze again to her coolly and smiled, "That's very kind, but you need not concern yourself ... and were I convinced that was the only reason you were here, this encounter could be much shorter." There was no malice in his voice, just enough grasp so that she would understand that he was not a stranger to these conversations. He paused for a few moments, considering the snow settling on the ground again, hearing the silence between and around them, then continued, his tone remaining soft and calculating, "I imagine there is something else you require." It was somewhere between a statement and a question, and he waited to see what the queen wished from him. 

WHITE FIR Notch

TEMPLATE © NDA OF RCR & RPG-D

founding member | 2016

His reaction was a bit different. There was no appreciation for her concern, at all really. If anything it was almost as if he suspected her of something else entirely, but the Queen simply stood there and listened; watching him with as much curiosity as he seemed to regard her with. The silence that followed made her nerves tense somewhere deep down. What was he thinking? The words that followed were quite level, and at least Merys was being civil with her. It was a relief in itself, considering how much irritation he could be harboring after their first real interaction as leader and subordinate. 

Still, it was uncomfortable. Her ears twitched back, sort of drifting in milliliters, unsure of whether to stay or go. He was right of course; there were other things to discuss here; but Raela much preferred to be on more casual terms with her pack members. There was no rush to force the discussion into business this early; but it would seem that that was exactly what he wanted. Alright. Raela doubted however, that he was doing as fine as he claimed to be, but prying right now seemed like a very bad idea. The quiet forced its way between them again and she waited, sensing his desire to speak once more. Silence felt so much like the enemy, and she wondered if it even bothered him at all. 

A thin smile pressed across her lips again and she dipped her head slightly in agreement. No use hiding it, was there; but why did he have to say it like that? "I also wondered if you had thought about what role you wanted to pursue," she conceded; keeping her tone light. "I know you were a hunter before," she let the statement drift off, prompting him to answer or elaborate on it with her tone. They were not so terribly hard pressed to fill a certain hole at the moment, so she was content to let him speak his mind. That, and the fact that she didn't much like forcing others into a niche they didn't want unless she had to. 

(This post was last modified: Apr 29, 2016, 10:51 AM by Raela.)

            

   

There it was. The real reason for why the agouti alpha had interrupted his quiet time. A role to pursue. Merys’ ears pricked forward at the thought. This could be the opportunity that he was looking for. A job, an excuse a reason to be away and busy. An opportunity to serve and be served. He was partly happy to know that the alpha was pushing for the wolves to have jobs to work towards instead of everyone going about their awkward lives all willy-nilly like. He wondered if she or @Gent were also taking strides with the others. Had they already? He remembered that he was the newest to the pack, though he hadn’t become very acquainted with anyone else on a personal level yet, thankfully. He suppressed the dangerous thing called hope that had risen inside him. He had to play these cards correctly, or he could easily be stuck as a babysitter.. or worse.

 A hunter before.. yes. He considered the thought, tilting his head from side to side, "Ehh, I mean, does one ever stop being a hunter?" he questioned in a light-hearted doubtful tone. They were wolves afterall. It was not exactly a skill one could afford to lose. He wished, faintly, to test the waters with his alpha’s humour, but quickly decided to not let it go farther than that. Today was not the day, and every time he looked at her, he unmistakably got grumpier. His tone returned to his steady, smooth one and he moved to speak again before she could misinterpret his friendly slip, "Though while I’ve spent many years being a hunter, this particular pack is markedly undermanned, I would understand if the best use of me may be doing something else for you.” And by something else, I mean nothing else. My body isn’t built for anything better, but I'm giving you a chance to prove you've got common sense behind those yellows, his thoughts continued. The large male’s presence was meant for protection and provision. Any fool could see that. Though that remained to be seen, as he eyed the young Queen. Tread carefully Queeny, don’t make me like you less than I already do..

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(This post was last modified: May 01, 2016, 01:28 PM by Merys.)

founding member | 2016

She was actually quite thankful for the brief quip; the subtle falling of his cool exterior. She took it gratefully, smiling back at the man with a chuff. Perhaps it was more like nervous laughter, but the Alphess truly was glad to have even that slightest bit of tension eased. "You've got a point," she replied, her tone climbing in agreement. The conversation quickly returned to its aloof nature, and Raela's grin faded back to neutral. The man was a year her senior, and his experience was valuable, provided he was actually skilled at his trade. 

She could agree that yes, they were a small band, though the group had been even smaller than this not long ago. With their current numbers she was relatively content – but there was no doubting that a few more paws would improve things greatly. Perhaps Merys had come from a vast kingdom, as she had. She knew first hand just how powerful a clan could become. The Notch was starting from the bottom however, and with any luck that would mean that their base could grow close and loyal. That was the plan anyway. They couldn't all be strangers like this forever.

When she was sure the man had finished, Raela paused. She'd already gone over their current ranks; their aspiring medic, pair of almost guardians and hunter-in-training. They were small, and while they lacked a dedicated scout, advisor or perhaps a teacher, she was far more concerned with filling the essential positions first. They could select a scout if a mission arose, and so it was with the other positions. Those would come later. "I'm glad you'd be willing to do other things," she began honestly, "but if hunting is what you want to focus on we could certainly use the help." Perhaps a little explanation was in order.  "We have two trying to become guardians, and Gent functions as a medic; hopefully only until Sylva has learned it from him fully. Jynx is the only one currently training to be a hunter, and she's a bit young still." 

The Queen cast a sort of knowing glance his way, expecting him to understand the implication. He was the eldest among them after all; she wanted to hope that that meant he was wise when it came to hunting, despite her disagreement with his ideas regarding the bear. To him, maybe she was young too. "We're going to need extra food soon," she continued, holding back the hint of a smirk. If he had a working nose, he knew already. "and if that's where you have the most experience I see no reason to assign you to anything else." She shrugged a bit; eyes drifting over his frame. Sure, she could see that he was strong, but Raela wasn't one to say that he also couldn't have been knowledgeable in the use of herbs, for example. Gent was, and that was probably the last thing anyone considered at first glance. Build wasn't everything, and she was no fool. 

            

He was relieved that the alphess hadn't taken his friendly slip and run with it. He had resented it immediately after it slipped from his tongue. While it took effort to hold back his snarky remarks and natural silly personality, he was still too bitter to become buddies with her. Besides, alphas were always so concerned with separating themselves from the lowly. They definitely had been in his last pack, but in a pack of 30-odd wolves, it was easy to lose rank. Things could be very different here, but he preferred to be proven wrong rather than assume so. He had been in a slow and mellow mood when she arrived, but the longer she lingered the less relaxed he felt. He sincerely wanted this encounter to be over, but begrudgingly could not rush these things. Not until he got what he wanted from her and her pack.

Queeny had a lot to say then, giving him the tour of the ranks and roles. He watched her quietly, fighting off the bored and doubtful expression threatening to make it to his features. In doing so, he almost missed the look she shot him when she spoke of Jynx. Ah, Jynx. The first 'friend' he had made. The one that had convinced him to join Round Stone Crest, or White Fir Notch, or whatever toponym they wished to use. She was a young two year old, fresh to true adulthood and responsibility. He would be five years old in a month, the oldest on anyone in this tiny mingle. God, why hadn't he just stayed put. When did he get so old? What was he doing starting over? And HERE? He gave an understanding nod to Raela regarding Jynx, and regarding her brood, but mentally chose to conclude their encounter given his newfound frustration at himself.

"Then it is food that I shall provide," he assured her. "You can count on it," he said again, a genuine seriousness fell into his tone. He may tend towards self-preservation, but it went both ways in a pack. If he said he would do something, he would do it. If everyone lived their lives that way, things could run smoothly. He lowered his head in respects, then motioned to leave, "If I may take my leave, my queen," he asked, his tone still kind and serving, despite the inner frustration he was experiencing inside. He was happy to have gotten what he wanted. He would start immediately, if it so warranted it. He would provide more than what they needed if he could, stay out of their ways, so perhaps they would stay out of his until he was ready for their company. Or until their weird.. Notchy moss grew on him. Whichever came first.

WHITE FIR Notch

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founding member | 2016

The man's candor, or perhaps his utter lack of any discernible reaction, was doing nothing to ease her anxiety as she spoke. A negative reaction would have been worse, obviously, but this coldness gave her no footholds at all. Was she doing something wrong? The ever-present worries began to stir, but Raela continued on; thankful for his visible agreement and finally for his words. Despite Merys antisocial behavior, she found that his promise fell upon her ears like a solemn vow. The matriarch had not really expected such a firm commitment from him, and again she was left with more questions. 

Their personalities, or maybe their way of communicating seemed to conflict a little. Raela was very much used to others being open and friendly with her, especially if she was the one to initiate it. Ironically, @Gent, the wolf dearest to her heart harbored a much different way of dealing with the world as well. Perhaps she and Merys could move past it the same way? She hoped so. "Thank you," the Queen replied sincerely, a soft smile on her lips. He would provide for her children, and that in itself was meritable. Now if only he would stick around. 

Of course, with that matter resolved, the older man wished to return to solitude. Raela nodded reflexively, shifting her weight a little in anticipation of their parting ways. "Sure," she replied casually, still feeling a bit strange to be called “Queen” so much. But as soon as the word left her mouth, the female's expression softened toward regret. That one thing had been on her mid during this whole encounter; for the last couple of days even; and she'd been waiting passively for an opportunity to address it. They were done here, and it was now or never. Her golden eyes danced to the side, unwilling to make eye contact during the vulnerability she was trying to force herself to show. Surely, in his position it was what the Alphess would have wanted, and it was that thought that finally pushed the sentiment from its hiding place deep in her throat. 

"Oh, I'm- I'm sorry I snapped at you the other day," she began, finally dragging her eyes up from the snow-covered ground to peer cautiously ahead for a reaction. "There was so much going on..." Her blood pressure rose with the uncertainty. He hadn't exactly made her feel comfortable up until this point, and for all she knew the apology would be rejected then and there. She truly was sorry, and still the weakness of it felt wrong. Why did this always have to be so hard? 

            

Ah, and there it was. It just had to be done, did it? Merys had turned his gaze away from the Alphess in anticipation of his leave, and he was glad he had. His expression darkened, and he stiffened in pause. Perhaps another soul would have appreciated the apology, the back peddling, the closure. No, the four year old did need a pity apology, he needed stronger leadership. Despite Merys' wishes for neutral politicians and diplomatic wolves as leaders, the last thing he wanted to fall under was weakness. He softened his gaze and looked to the snow in front of his face as he thought about the appropriate response that he could give her.

 This femme was soft-spoken, kind, and obviously new to leadership. She sat at the top, but Merys doubted that she had fought her way there. Gent, on the other hand, he imagined was how she had gotten her place. She was a pretty little thing, but he wondered what important traits she held past those pale eyes. He had yet to see any. Gent was large, strong, and skilled in many facets. Raela could give the orders and have others obey, but did she really know if they were the right ones? How could she? Merys did not want to assume what her past looked like, but somehow he doubted much darkness had befallen her. While it was not fair to be presumptuous, and he could be very wrong, his bitterness aided him in forming thoughts that could validate his distaste for her.

 He turned to meet her cautious expression. Stand tall, you soft woman! he wanted to yell at her, You are a leader! A QUEEN. You do not grovel to your subordinates for their forgiveness. What a sad sight.. Instead, her scent filled his nostrils and her growing belly caught his gaze. There was nothing he would do. What he did know then and there was that while he would protect her brood, he could never promise not to step on her toes again. Would he always be second guessing her; at least until she showed herself worthy of more? He smiled softly then, though it did not reach his eyes, and nodded in thanks. "Of course," he agreed. Gods sake, would this be it? Could this painful encounter finally be finished?

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(This post was last modified: May 05, 2016, 02:22 PM by Merys.)

founding member | 2016